Chapter 16: A Test You Do Not Want To Fail

December 29, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"Hi, Steve!" Kimmy squealed, giving me a tight hug and a quick kiss before pulling me into her apartment. "I missed you!"

"I missed you, too!" I said.

"I heard through the grapevine that you finally saw Jessica and that she's getting some kind of treatment for stress."

"You heard right."

"So what does that mean?" she asked.

I knew she meant between us and was very glad that I'd had the conversation with Kara.

"Right now, you and I continue on. We have lunch when we can, and I spend Saturdays here while Kara is with her study group."

"Every Saturday?" she asked with a huge smile.

"Yes, unless something else interferes. But when Jess comes home, I have to talk to her about this. I can't hide it from her. Kara knows."

"And Kara's OK with you and me?"

"Yes. She got on my case for not telling her about it, and rightly so."

"I'm just glad I can see you that often! Now, shall we make love or eat first?"

"Your choice!" I said with a smile.

"As if there's really a choice!" she said, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the hall.

Ten minutes later she was riding me gently as she liked to do, and when she'd had two orgasms, she concentrated on bringing me off, which she did a few minutes later. She lay on top of me, and I held her while we talked.

"What did you do for Christmas," I asked.

"I went to my cousin's house in Columbus, Ohio. They hosted the family Christmas this year. It must be crazy in your house with all those kids!"

"Totally," I chuckled. "And it's only going to get worse with two more by next Christmas."

"You sure like to make babies!" she giggled.

"I do. I also like NOT making babies," I chuckled. "Especially with you."

"I like how you always cuddle me afterwards, and that you like to hug and cuddle even without sex. Most guys don't seem to like that, or seem to do it only to get sex."

"It's something I've always liked to do," I said. "And with you, it's just so comforting."

She lifted her head and looked me in the eyes and smiled, "Cuddling naked on the couch is just perfect. Could we do that again?"

"Anything you want," I said. "So long as I can hold you in my arms."

"I'd like that. Now, let's have some lunch so you can get back to the office before anyone gets suspicious!"

We kissed a bit, showered, dressed, and then ate lunch. When we finished, I headed back to the office to finish out the workday. When I arrived home, Kara was waving a letter.

"Jess wrote us!" she said. "Can I open it?"

"Yes, of course!"

Kara hastily tore open the envelope and extracted a light yellow sheet of paper that was covered with Jess' not-so-neat handwriting.

"She writes like a doctor," Kara giggled. "Not like a girl."

"She IS a doctor!" I chuckled. "No perfect 'Palmer Method' for her! What does she have to say?"

"Not a lot, really. Just that she's doing OK, she misses us, and that she'll try to call on Sunday afternoons each week. She's gained three pounds, which she says the OB she's seeing every two weeks thinks is good, given where she was. She says she's getting lots of sleep and eating better. And that's about it."

She handed me the letter, and I quickly read it. It was almost exactly as Kara had said, though at the bottom of the page was a heart with an arrow through it, and 'Jessica + Steve + Kara' inscribed in it.

"Let's write her back," I said. "I can put the letter in the mail tomorrow."

"What can we write?"

"I'd say we keep it like she did — tell her that we're all fine, that work is going well, when school starts for you, and that we love her. Simple is probably best. And YOU should write it. My handwriting sucks."

"Yes, it does. Yours is worse than hers! At least she has the 'doctor' excuse! What's yours?"

"I type all day. Other than the letters I exchange with Tatyana, Tina Hoff, and occasionally a few other Swedish and Russian friends, and the odd Christmas and Birthday card, I barely do anything except sign my name!"

We wrote the letter to Jessica and both of us signed it. We sealed it in an envelope, which Kara added several hand-drawn hearts to it. I put it in the basket on the counter with the other mail that I'd take to the Post Office on Friday.

"How was lunch with Jacquelyn today?" I asked.

"She is a WONDERFUL girl," Kara said. "Smart, funny, and self-confident. You worked your magic on her, for sure!"

I nodded, "And a very healthy sex-drive!"

"She was a bit freaked out by the toys."

"Uh-oh," I said.

"Oh no, Snuggle Bear. Don't worry. She said she was glad she did all those things, but she's not sure it's for her. She said what she likes best is the way you start slow and go for a long time, then finish really hard and fast."

"Me too," I chuckled. "So, no toys in her future, then?"

"No, it doesn't seem so. And it doesn't seem like she'll go crazy. We talked about birth control and STDs. You do have to get tested before Jessica comes home, because you've apparently been neglecting that rule, too."

I nodded, "The only REAL risk was Kimmy, and I just don't think it's a concern. That said, yes, I'll do that right away. And have Kimmy get tested as well. She won't object."

"That was a big risk, Snuggle Bear. For all of us. You can't do that again. They HAVE to be tested."

"I know," I said. "I'll take care of it."

"Did Elyse tell you about the RSVPs for the New Year's Eve party?"

"No. A few people told me that they'd be here, like Al. What did I miss?"

"Josh and Mary will be here."

"Excellent! We haven't seen Josh and Mary in AGES."

"And so will Lyudmila and Curtis. And her parents."

"Oh man, that's awesome! I asked Elyse to invite Tracey and Marty the other day. Did she find them?"

"She said she wanted to talk to you about that. Didn't she see you at the office today?"

"No. I was busy all morning and afternoon with Jeri. Let's go find her."

We found Elyse in the sunroom with Veronica, Matthew, and Birgit.

"Kara said you wanted to tell me something about Marty and Tracey," I said.

"Privately," Elyse replied, taking my hand and leading me to my study.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"They can't come because Marty is sick."

"Sick?"

"Tracey said he was diagnosed with Kaposi's sarcoma. If Jessica were here, she'd know immediately what that means. I had to ask."

"Which is?"

"It's one of the primary AIDS-defining illnesses."

"Oh, shit," I sighed.

"I'm not supposed to share that with anyone except you," Elyse said.

"What about Tracey?"

"She's HIV positive, but she has no symptoms of AIDS and is taking a brand new drug called AZT that supposedly suppresses the virus. The FDA only approved it last year."

"What about Marty?" I asked.

"He's being treated for the sarcoma, and receiving other drugs as well, including some experimental ones. They're lucky he has really good insurance through the Battelle Institute in Columbus where he works."

"I don't even know what to say," I said.

"Call Tracey when you have a chance. I'll give you her number."

"Thanks," I said, shaking my head, and understanding exactly what Jess had been trying to tell me for years.

We went back to the sunroom, and I gently deflected Kara's question, just saying that they couldn't make the party and that I'd give Tracey a call over the weekend. One thing was certain — I was going to stop by the clinic to get tested. And I was going to take Kimmy with me.

December 30, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"Thank you," Jacquelyn said as we showered after what we agreed was our final coupling.

"I'm the one who should thank you," I said. "It's been a pretty amazing month! And we're going to keep running and keep working on karate. You should have at least a brown belt before you leave for college!"

"You think so?" she asked.

"Absolutely! I'm guessing that you'll be promoted in the next couple of weeks. And we have more than a year before you leave."

"I noticed Angelique follows you around like a puppy dog," Jacquelyn teased.

"Yes, she does. But she's underage, too. We were lucky you'd turned seventeen!"

"I would have figured a way around that," she grinned. "I didn't want you to get arrested!"

I pulled her to me under the warm spray.

"I was privileged to be your first, and I'll never, ever forget what it was like! And I will ALWAYS be your friend."

"So I can come to you and Kara for advice?"

"Always," I said.

We finished our shower, dried off, hugged each other one final time, then dressed. I gave her a soft kiss on the lips, and then she walked me to the door. This time, at the door, we shared a brief hug, and I kissed her on her forehead. She was my friend. And that was a very good thing.

After breakfast, rather than go straight to the office, I walked by Kimmy's apartment.

"Hi!" she exclaimed with a huge smile, happy to see me this early. "What's up? Do you need a morning pick-me-up?"

"At lunchtime, you and I are going to the clinic to get HIV tests."

"What? Why?"

"An abundance of caution. Two friends of mine from High School contracted HIV recently, and that sort of brought it home. I was tested about six months ago and you and I haven't been using condoms, and to be honest, I've been with some other girls in the past few months. I don't suspect any of them, but we're going to be tested to be safe."

"OK. I've never been tested. How does it work?"

"We show up, answer a questionnaire, and then have blood drawn. They call with the results in a week. And trust me, this is one test you do NOT want to fail."

"I haven't been with a lot of guys," she said.

"I know. But you can get it from a blood transfusion, too. And maybe other ways. We'll get tested to be sure."

"OK. Will you come here to meet me?"

"Yes, see you at lunch!"

I kissed her and headed to the office. At lunchtime, I was back at her apartment and we walked to the clinic. We filled out the questionnaires and handed them in. As usual, I was questioned about the accuracy of my answers, and then a few minutes later, our blood was drawn and we left the clinic.

"Why did that nurse question your form?" Kimmy asked.

"Because of the number of sex partners I wrote down. She didn't believe it. Most people don't."

"Will you tell me?" she asked.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"It's that bad?"

"It depends on what you mean. It's not a small number."

"What, like fifteen? Twenty?"

"Try more than four times that number," I said.

"You're joking!" she gasped.

I shook my head, "No, I'm not."

"How many girls like me do you have?" she asked softly.

"Like you? None. You know I'm married to Kara and Jessica, and you know Elyse and I agreed to have kids. Yes, I've been something of a tomcat the last couple of months since Jessica first left me, but none of it has been anything more than sex, and only, well, temporary, I guess. Right now, as of this moment, there are my two wives, though with Jess in Maine I'm obviously not with her, and Elyse, the mother to one of my sons, and soon to be two, if she's right about the sex of the baby."

"So I'm different from 80-odd women? How?"

"If I could explain that, I'd have answers to quite a few of my questions about my life. I don't know. I just know that you are. To be frank, there was only one girl like you ever in my history. She was back home in Milford, Ohio, near Cincinnati. We used to get together regularly, like you and I do. There was no plan for a long-term relationship, but we cared deeply for each other."

"So what happened? Why did you break it off?"

"She wanted to date seriously and didn't feel it was right to be having sex with me while she was going with another guy."

"So if I wanted to date, that would end it?"

"I guess it depends on you, on the guy, and where we both are. Is there someone you've been seeing?"

She shook her head, "No. And honestly, right now, at age twenty, I'm fine with exactly what I have. It's just the way I said. I have all the things I need, plus a wonderful lover who treats me well and makes me feel loved. And can give me all the orgasms I can handle!"

"Those are important," I chuckled. "But so is actually being loved."

"Is that what this is?" she asked, taking my hand.

"That's a difficult subject," I said. "Not because I'm afraid of it, but because I make a serious distinction between being 'in love' with someone and 'loving' someone. And there are levels, too. It's kind of complicated to explain in just a few minutes. We can talk tomorrow, if you want. I'll come see you right after lunch."

"Will you stay for dinner?"

"I think that will be OK, yes. Our New Year's Eve Party doesn't start until 8:00pm, so as long as I'm home by 7:00pm, there won't be any issues. You could come to the party, if you wanted. But we'd have to be VERY casual around each other."

"I'd like that! Lots of people from work will be there, right?"

"Yes, because quite a few of them were friends before they started working there — Elyse, Dave, Julia, Tasha, Charlie, Penny, and Cindi. And of course, that means that Zeke and Terry will be there. Our lawyer Jamie is coming as well, with his wife."

"How many people are going to be at this party?"

"Oh, at least seventy," I chuckled. "The house is plenty big enough. You've been there."

We kissed at the door of her apartment, and then I headed back to the office.

December 31, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

On Saturday morning, before we left for karate, I called the number Elyse had given me for Tracey and Marty. Tracey answered on the second ring.

"It's been WAY too long," I said. "Three years ago at the wedding."

"A lot has happened since then," she said.

"So Elyse tells me. Where are you working?"

"I work for the State of Ohio. I'm a health inspector. Marty is a researcher at Battelle. How are things with you?"

"The business is going gangbusters and I have a bunch of kids, just as I always wanted. And two more on the way."

"By how many women now?" she laughed.

"Four. One by Jennifer, one by Kara, one by Elyse with one on the way, and one on the way with Jessica."

"Still up to your old antics?"

"Yes and no. Jessica and Kara give me some freedom and I do use it, but not like in the past. Well, except for the last two months when I've been a bit out of control because Jess had a nervous breakdown and we were estranged for a couple of months."

"Is she OK?"

"Getting there. She's receiving counseling."

"You can ask the question, you know," Tracey said.

"It's none of my business," I said. "You'll share what you want to."

"Same old Steve," she laughed. "Have you created any other sex-crazed maniacs?"

I chuckled, "One or two, but, and please don't take this the wrong way, I've counseled against taking the path you and Marty did."

"The world is a different place than it was in 1981," she sighed. "We didn't change with it. I'm guessing that being married to a doctor forced you to change, at least somewhat."

"Between Jessica and Bethany, yes, they made it clear. Getting tested regularly and ensuring my partners are tested and using condoms. I've goofed a few times, but you know my MO."

She laughed, "You like the younger, virginal ones. They are safer, but not completely safe."

"I know. Do you have any idea where you contracted it?"

"Not for certain, but I have a good idea. You know the scene we were into, so it won't surprise you that at a couple of parties there were guys who were bi, and at least one intravenous drug user, and probably more. Who knows at this point? But somewhere around February of '86 one of us contracted HIV and gave it to the other, or maybe we both got it at the same party. And there were some wild ones, Steve. Stuff even you wouldn't believe."

"Oh, I'd believe a lot, but I don't need the details."

"If you don't mind my asking, and you can refuse to answer, but what's your count?"

"I wrote down 89 on the form yesterday."

Tracey laughed, "Amateur! Though given what happened to us and where you are, maybe that's not such a bad thing. I THINK Marty's number is north of 150. Mine is quite a bit higher — 207. As I said, some seriously wild stuff. Orgies, you name it. I had sex with eleven different guys at one party, in every way imaginable."

"Jesus!" I gasped.

"It's not your fault, Steve. I was in complete control the whole way. Nobody coerced me or forced me or tricked me or drugged me. Hell, I've never used any drugs in my entire life. The AZT I'm taking is the first prescription I've ever had, except the one you helped me get from Doctor Gustafson back in High School. And even where we are today, I am SURE I did the right thing being with you when I was."