Chapter 12: Exploring one another

“Let people realize clearly that every time they threaten someone or humiliate or unnecessarily hurt or dominate or reject another human being, they become forces for the creation of psychopathology, even if these be small forces. Let them recognize that every person who is kind, helpful, decent, psychologically democratic, affectionate, and warm, is a psychotheraputic force, even though a small one.”

Abraham Maslow

Jill and Dove were already talking. It wasn’t, nor should it have been, a formal counseling session. I had gone to work in my office, leaving the two in most attractive satin robes and slip-on heels, and sipping tea.

“Dove, our play was fantastic. I’m definitely attracted to boobs, but the couple of women, with whom I played and had large breasts, were sort of weird. You pushed my buttons.

“Howard suggested that you could have a sense of non-sexual buttons of mine. You presumably know that I have schizophrenia, which usually is controlled by medication.” Dove nodded. “When on my own, I’ve forgotten to take my medication. It’s an old drug that works for me, Stelazine.

“I also get anxiety attacks and have a tranquilizer prescribed for that, but I’m more hesitant to use that due to habit-forming and sedation. While I don’t think I have a problem, I’ll mention that there’s a strong streak of alcoholism in my family. When I spend time around trusted friends and lovers, I stay on my meds.

“So there’s the controllable psychosis. What is more confusing, though, is my sexual identity, towards women, and, for that matter, to young men. Still, there are a couple of men with whom I feel safe, Art and Howard, and I want more mutual pleasure with them. Can you help me plan, guide, something, my sexual experimenting?”

“Jill, dear, as a young, prepubescent girl, I was extensively abused, and used both for pleasure and money by a local gang. Somehow, very early, I flipped that around to being able to take pleasure from it. More and more, as I got older, I could control with sex. My epiphany came when I discovered it could be just plain fun, and then, as a peak experience -- you know Maslow’s terminology?” Jill nodded. “I could get enormous good and I became an ethical slut. By then, I also got a lot of pleasure from intellectual growth, and helping people grow.”

“Good point. While I’m turned on by teenagers, I can also be damn good in guiding their education, as a classic English tutor.”

“I’m glad. For me at least, giving support, helping people be better, can be satisfying, fun, and makes me stronger.”

“I hope I’m a good mother, Jill. My daughter, Dawn, has a lot of my personality. Well, she’s certainly extroverted and charismatic, but I don’t know if she’s personally dom or sub. You might draw him out, just as much on literature than on sex.”

From her purse, Dove removed an IDIC pendant. Jill broke into a huge smile, and took out a Maslow pyramid pendant. A second pendant went around each neck. Jill told Dove, “Let’s go talk to our resource people, who probably are Lucy and Art. Perhaps they can go to a jeweler and have combination pendants made for our family.”

At breakfast, Dove told her daughter, “Honey, I think you have pretty good judgment. I’ve also been your age and know about urges, which is one reason that I put you, with your consent, on birth control pills. I’m going to be out most of the day. If you want to get to know Mike and George better, I’ve got no problem, but I want you to make it clear that it’s your call what happens. From what I’ve heard, they are decent guys.”

Dawn was a little taller than her mother, at 5’4”, and busty for her age. While she was also a natural redhead, to be different, she wore her hair as blonde.

George and Mike came to visit; she was happy to see them.

“Guys, you probably don’t know my mother yet. She’s fantastic. She also doesn’t believe in making people feel guilty. There’s no one else in the apartment. She knows you were coming, and wanted to give us some privacy.

“Let’s put it this way: I’m not a virgin. I love sex. I’ll cut off the relevant parts of anyone who tries to do me without consent, which usually isn’t difficult to get.” She smiled brilliantly.

Mike gulped. “I think you two need to meet Marilyn real soon.”

George agreed. “And Gigi.”

“Let’s get rid of the tensions. How about we all masturbate together? Before that, come over here and kiss me most thoroughly.” She looked apologetic. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was making assumptions. With girls, I’d tend to assume they are bi and thus would kiss one another. Are you two bi?”

Gigi, however, was most pleasantly occupied. While Art is an electronic engineer by training, he is an excellent mechanical improviser and good with his hands, which he would say is true in multiple ways. He was helping Gigi with some kitchen improvements, steadying a ladder on which she stood to adjust a pot rack. To Art’s pleasure, she was wearing something on the order of a tennis skirt, with very flimsy underwear. As she descended, the skirt caught on the edge of his head.

No fool he, Art immediately kissed the thighs revealed to him, figuring that Gigi wouldn’t mind. She didn’t. “Art, want me to get off this ladder and onto your face?” He stretched out to facilitate that. Gigi squatted, to receive some absolutely superb head. When Art and I got together with his former significant other, Ann, she was ecstatic on the oral pleasure given by either one, although she finally said that mine were the better of two excellent but different styles.

“Art, honey, I am not, in the slightest, into dominance.” Smiling happily, she helped him to his feet. “Let’s go to my place and get comfortable.”

Gigi helped him onto her bed, pulling pillows under his head. “I’m so glad that you understand that, Gigi. Too many women expect their partners to be on their hands and knees, and eventually killing their necks, while going down. Having the lickee above my face lets me do it seemingly forever, my hands free to explore and stroke. It’s so much nicer. Some women seem to think that they’re dominant in that position. I suppose they can be, but I think of it as nicely cooperative.

“I know Howard does as well. Let me hasten to add that he and I did threesomes with my former girlfriend, Ann, so it’s not just talking out of school about our partners. He told me, once, that if he were limited to a single sex act, it would be giving oral sex to women, which he regards a peak experience of sensation. It combines touch and warmth and taste and scent. It can be foreplay, or a delightful way to masturbate, or, with another woman, a great thing to do when getting fucked or sucked. I agree.”

“Art, would you and Howard like to do a threesome with me?”

“I’m confident he would, and I know that I’d enjoy it.”

“I’ll tell you, Art, this household, family, whatever, is really starting to work with me. I’m learning more and more about myself, and I expect to get some help there from Dove. I’ve never had a problem with my looks, but Tana is taking me to new heights. Lucy is making it possible for me to go into professional things that I’ve only thought about.

“I’m happier than I can remember being.” Art realized that while we all could be bonded in polyamory, there could be especially close relationships, such as mine with Jill, perhaps with Lucy, and, from what he had heard, Dove.

Not long afterward, Gigi and Dove were talking, seriously. “Gigi, first, let me say that if you never have sex with a woman in your life, or if you go completely to the lesbian side of the force, either is cool. Personally, I like both. From what I hear, though, you’ve had some bad experiences that condition your reactions and stress you out, being guarded. Howard mentioned that you had some pretty nasty locker room experiences, and, secondhand, I’ve heard that you refer to one man as the sperm donor, which isn’t exactly a term of endearment.” She reached out and touched Gigi’s hand. “If it helps anything, that’s exactly the term I use for the biological father of the twins.” Dove, not by accident, was wearing a tank top. She pulled down its upper edge to reveal a substantial scar on her shoulder. “Our relationship was shot, literally. I’m glad he only used a .22, and that a very good orthopedic surgeon was available.”

Lucy and I were spending some gentle time together. We had stripped and gotten into her bed, kissed rather gently, but, without words, realized we both wanted to talk, certainly while stroking and cuddling. “Howard, I haven’t thought about a need to get gangbanged in a while. It was fun to go with you, but I’m beginning to find that the household is starting to meet my need to get utterly lost in a sensual experience.”

“Lucy, while I enjoyed it with you and for that matter with Rose, I’m also starting to appreciate what I have at home. There’s no question that I still need reassurance that my female friends will wallow in happy lust with me, but I guess I’d have to say that I’m trusting them more and more. As far as your need to be sexually overwhelmed, Dove certainly likes that. I may be hearing that from Sheri and Diane. I’m really comfortable with all of them, even if I tend to like it gentler.

“I really wasn’t looking for a dom-sub relationship, but that’s what Dove needs and wants. You’ve heard, I’m sure, that it’s the submissive that really calls the shots. That’s true with her. She’s an incredibly imaginative and considerate lover, who tells me, out of role, when she wants to be ordered about, restrained, or get pain. In general, we’re both happy with mild erotic pain. There may be a time, she tells me, when she wants something more intense, but that hasn’t yet come up. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. To prepare, though, we may well start going to the public, supervised dungeons at the Black Rose.

“When we speak of intensity, I don’t mean sexual intensity, with groups, or even consenting adult camels. Well, not camels. I refer to intense pain, which I can’t deliver to someone about whom I care.

Lucy kissed my nose. “Good. Speaking of groups, I did get a call from Rose.” Lucy, always observant, saw me shiver. “What is it about Rose? Clearly, she excites the hell out of you.”

“Well, some of what I’ve heard is secondhand. Besides the club, I heard that she’d pull a train when she could get a van, and still be fresh and wanting more after seven men were spent. You’ve heard my stuff about wanting to be utterly sure that a woman wanted sex, and it’s hard to deny that. When my ex told me about what her co-worker did, it excited me. Mary knew it, and in a nice way, sometimes talked about it to excite me.

“Lucy, you said you could get some male escorts, I believe? Could set up a scene with you and Rose, where Marilyn’s psychiatrist friend could play and observe? Marilyn and Dove should participate, as would I.”

“Yes, let’s do that. We need to talk about having people know of the polyamory, but not be of it. Still, maybe Rose is a candidate, if she doesn’t do super-risky things.” She looked down. “I can see that talking about Rose gets you excited. That’s as hard as I’ve ever seen you. May I use you, sir?”

“By all means, counselor.” I lay back. She climbed on top of me, in cowgirl position, and started slamming up and down. She inspired me to start pumping my hips, and then reaching around to fondle her firm ass. I slipped a finger into her anus and she yelled happily, “Spank me until I come, you bastard!”

What else would a gentleman do? I spanked her into a very quick orgasm. “OK, now, milady, turn into my bitch and suck me off.” Giggling, she complied.

“What were we talking about, Howard?”

“Damned if I know. Snuggle and sleep for a while.”

Sheri called Germaine. “When might you be free for coffee or drinks? I have someone for you to meet.” They did so.

“Germaine, this is Jerry. He’s a close friend of mine, and is at least looking at the group. Jerry is cool with all sexual identities.” Germaine nodded.

“But he has another identity that might interest you. He’s a practicing Jew.”

Germaine’s head jerked. “Wow. Jerry, I’m also a practicing Jew, with a rather overbearing Jewish family. I’m also a lesbian who has male friends, but platonic ones.”

Jerry’s voice came from somewhere deep inside. He rumbled. “That’s fine, including escorting you to a family event and playing a role somewhat.

“Now, I’m actually open to going to synagogue with you, but I know that Bet Mishpachah is LGBT-friendly. May I ask you to protect me from lecherous gay guys that fall for former pro football players? Maybe I need to think about that, since some yentas are scarier. You know, the one that said “Oedipus shmedipus, so long as a boy loves his mother.””