Chapter 6

The dining hall was full; it was just large enough for every member of the community to attend. All the adults and many children were present. Mane stood on the small stage at the front of the room. I waited back-stage, freshly showered and fed, in a clean Oak Leaf gown of office. I’d considered wearing the more revealing, equally official version that we informally called the ‘fuck me’ outfit—our official lover’s gown. Truthfully, it was more of a pre-made rope harness with strategically placed fabric to emphasize the body and lust than an actual garment. We were shooting for that level of slut throughout the community, but I needed something more traditionally noble to help people build confidence in themselves.

I imagined people were frightened. By now everyone must know of the deaths this morning even though there had been no official announcement. Each member of the community must have their own fears as they faced their duty as slut and lover while trying to meet their professional and family obligations. I could guess the general shape of these stories from what Gift told me both of herself and Birch.

I was frustrated. By rights, I should not have to guess the mood of the community. I should relax and open my perceptions to the web. But with the web in tatters, there was little to be learned in that direction. So, my guess was all I had.

Of course, there was one advantage to the web’s tattered state. I need not worry about my fear leaking out to the community as a whole. The specter of Saltfisher’s Dock frightened me. Once we started to see positive results from our efforts, I expected to gain confidence. For now though, I was glad that I did not have to work to hide my fear and nervousness. I kept reliving that moment when I realized there was no web—no coherent connection in the community.

The crowd quieted and Mane began. “Passion mill, I’m sure you’ve all heard of our trouble. I’m not here to talk about that, although I will answer any questions you have. Instead, I’m here to tell you how we’re going to stand stronger against the shadows than we’ve ever been, thrusting that trouble right out of our bounding.” Mane’s voice rolled through the hall: gone was the nervousness and weariness of yesterday’s phone call. I found myself captivated by his resonant tones and the confidence rolling off him through our connection; he had no doubt we could sweep the shadows away. For a moment, I found myself eagerly awaiting his solution as his assurance filled me. Then my fears came crashing back: I was his plan—his solution. In a few short moments, I would step onto the stage, and the community would expect me to deliver on the promise he was making.

“We asked for help. We needed it,” Mane said. “This morning, for the duration of our challenge, I turned our web over to the Lady Riding Atop, Ashley, Third for Oak Leaf. Lady Ashley has made her name as an accomplished slut and lover. Through her work, Oak Leaf has a boundary strong enough that far older houses now envy Oak Leaf Seat. I’ve also learned that Lady Ashley is a world expert on healing the kind of deep shadow touch we face. I’ve asked her how Passion Mill shall stand strong in the light of our passion. Passion Mill, please welcome Lady Ashley and Oak Leaf.”

I submerged myself in Lady Ashley at her most formal: the poise and dignity of nobility would give me the assurance to give the people what they needed to hear. I swept forward onto the stage and accepted Mane’s bow of respect. “Oak Leaf is honored by Passion Mill’s trust and confidence,” I said. “To face the challenge before us, we must put aside all concerns besides slut and lover and stand strong in the light of passion. Together, we shall meet this challenge!

“Doubtless you are worried about the costs to business, reputation and comfort. Oak Leaf stands surety behind you. Your profits shall not be high, but your community shall have comfort and food; your businesses shall thrive that you might still have jobs tomorrow when we stand firmly beyond the shadows.”

I relaxed my posture. For the next part, I would need to approach the community with openness and vulnerability.

“While I will always be Lady Ashley, I’m here to talk to you as a member of your team, slut to slut. Look around you: we are sluts and together our team will shine the light of our passion bright enough to hold the shadows beyond our community and burn their touch from our bodies and hearts. Everyone here is on your team.

“The next few days will be a challenge, but we shall emerge stronger. We are facing losses and are just beginning the process of grieving. Some of us are facing these losses acutely. The rest of us will need to be there for them, helping them remember that the connections we find as lovers can help us face pain, helping them find the strength to open to passion in such a difficult time. Together we can heal.

“Facing this challenge is an opportunity for Passion Mill to grow closer than ever before. All our energy will be focused on coming together in the light of passion. You might be used to waiting for your assignment and helping your community as the defense manager asks. Now, I challenge you to look throughout this room. Look at the other members of your community—your team. How can they help you find passion? How can you help them? Don’t wait for some assignment: our success depends on each of us reaching out with openness to ask for what we desire and to offer to help.

“Kids, you have a part to play too. Hugs and snuggling help. When you hug each other or the adults in your life, you stand against the shadows. Tell those you love about your love. When you are told that you are loved, listen with your full heart. Feel that love throughout you; let it shine forth as passion. If those you love do something brave or try something hard, tell them you are proud; support them. Adults can do brave and hard things too. I’m going to be asking all the adults to do some really hard things. They may be embarrassed that you notice. Still, once they hear that you do support them and respect them, it will be easier for them to do even more, the light of their passion shining ever brighter.

“For those of us who are sexually mature adults, there’s a lot more. Fuck, play with yourself, play with someone else, and embrace pleasure. We all know the basics of being a slut and lover. We will go beyond that, opening our team to a deeper level of connection.

“In the past, you’ve worked as individual sluts or paired lovers. We give each other space. When’s the last time you’ve really paid attention to the man jacking himself two pallets down? You probably give the noisy couple fucking across the room a pretense of privacy.

“Every time you do that you miss an opportunity to tie the web tighter and shine your passion brighter. Of course every time you do give up that pretense of space, there’s more vulnerability, more risk on both sides. We probably can’t be that open and connected all the time. We need to come as close as we can now.

“So, can you do that? Can you be that open for your community, for me, for each of us?”

I paused. A man in the back raised his hand. “Yes.”

“That’s all well’n good conceptual stuff m’lady. But what’s it mean for real?”

“Please state your name when you first talk. Sure, I’m a slut but I’m also a noble.” “Unless, of course,” I said chuckling, “your goal is to be rude.”

“No, M’lady, not trying to be rude. Pearl Formed ‘round Love’s Remains from Sandy Reef Cove. I just want to know what m’lady means.”

I wondered at Pearl’s dialect. “Fair enough. It means a lot of things. First, if there’s something you want, ask for it. Now is the time to try all those things you’ve been too embarrassed to admit that you want. If someone ask you, treat them with respect even when the answer is no.”

I continued, “Beyond that, you see something hot, keep watching. If you get turned on, do something about it. Touch yourself, ask someone to touch you, find someone to fuck. Depending on what you first saw, perhaps you can join in.”

“So I see the miller balls deep in Hay, and you want me to start playing with myself right there?”

“Yes, exactly.”

Several people laughed. I said, “I know, it seems a bit silly when you put it like that. What we’re doing is taking the experience beyond just Hay and her mate finding pleasure. Hay and her mate can find pleasure as part of the community, supported and celebrated by the rest of us. You can even go beyond masturbating and invite them to join your part of the experience. If you can do it without pulling them apart, let them know you’re watching and playing.”

Pearl grumbled. “That’s a hard ask, m’lady.”

“It sure is. Perhaps you can’t do it; perhaps you try and it doesn’t work. Then why not wait until the miller—Tumbled Stone?”—Mane nodded—”is done and talk to both Stone and Hay about how hot they were. Open up to them about your experience. They’ll probably be supportive; it will probably be easier next time.”

I caught sight of Tumbled Stone; he was glaring at me. Perhaps he was not comfortable as an example; well that was a good reminder that everyone has their limit. “Or perhaps you have done what you’re able just appreciating how hot something is. Do what you can, push yourself as you are able, but we all have our limits.”

I swept my gaze across the room. Several people were nodding; the rest were focused on my words. “If you need it ask for help,” I said. “Can I get our core team to stand?” Those who joined me in Mane’s office were sitting at the front and stood. “With the exception of Lord Matthew, Fourth for Oak Leaf, I suspect you already know everyone. We’re all here to help you.

“As far as you are able, stretch yourself and pay attention to all aspects of the passion. Notice what people are doing; talk to them about it. Notice the people watching you. Notice your own smell, notice that of your lovers. Pay attention to taste. Talk about it all. Use all the tools you have to connect more deeply with yourself and your lovers.”

Tumbled Stone shouted, “So you’re going to come in, and tell us all what to do just so you can get off, watching us vulnerable and embarrassed cause you said we had to. Mane, I expect better from you.”

Before I could respond another man near the front jumped up. “I’m sorry about Smooth-tumbled Stone’s approach, my lady, but he has a point. I’m Crag’s Rugged Beauty from Eagle Perch. You’re asking us to do a lot, but are you up to the task you set us? Could you possibly be that open yourself? In front of us? Do you really know what you’re asking?”

I’d suspected something of the kind might happen. I had been standing behind a podium. I stepped out in front. “Thank you Crag for stating it boldly with respect. Would you like to see me live up to what I’m asking you all to do?”

“Yeah, sure, my lady.”

“I like the challenge. Do you mind if I view it that way?”

“OK? I guess.”

“So, are you willing to be challenged to? Is there something of slut and lover that would be hard you’ll do if I meet your challenge?”

“I’d like to. I can’t think of anything though.”

A woman next to him said, “My lady, I’m Galloping Wind. Crag, you totally know what to do. Screw up your courage and ask!”

Crag gulped. “Well, that would certainly be a challenge. I just don’t know if I can.”

“We’ll all be here to support you, Crag,” I said.

He breathed deeply. “Yeah, I guess I can. My lady if you can show me you’re the kind of slut and lover you’re looking for, I know what I’ll do.”

I stepped forward, almost walking off the stage. “In one respect, it’s hard for me to know what I’m asking. I’ve been working on being an open slut since before my burgeoning, well over six years. Some of my lessons have been demanding. So, I’ve had a lot of practice. I’ll never know what it’s like to push your openness really hard all at once in order to save your community.

“On the other hand, I’ve done everything I’ve talked about doing here and then some. So, if you want an example of what it’s like when you open to slut and lover, ask and I’ll show you what I’ve got. If it seems too easy, or your frustrated with where you get, keep in mind that I’ve been doing this for years; look to your neighbors and within yourself to see how fast you can go.

“Crag asked for a demonstration. Clover, I suspect you’d like to get up here on stage and crawl between my legs.” I stepped back a couple of paces to make room for Clover and spread my legs so she could fit between them. We adjusted until her face was under my gown. If I squatted she would be well positioned to lick me to climax. “This morning, I woke with a full bladder. I don’t mean that I had a desire to make water. I mean that I was so full my sphincter was twitching just to take my mind off how full I was; my body’s urgency was at least half my focus while I was receiving the report of our night’s setbacks.

“I suspected Mane and I would rearrange the web this morning. I could go make water and hope I had enough to pee later. I could go make some water holding most of it back. If you’ve ever done that you’ve probably discovered that your bladder’s need tends to return with what feels like greater urgency far sooner than makes any sense. With a whine and gritted teeth, I decided to face my day.

“Within a glance or two, everyone can tell exactly what state I’m in. How many people saw me?” Around ten hands raised. “How many of you noticed that I was about to wet myself?” They all nodded. “Yeah, thought it was like that. I’ m struggling trying to have one of the most important meetings I’ve ever attended. Mane and I are discussing how to balance responsibility. He’s already asked if I need to visit the lavatory or boundary. It’s embarrassing. I’m afraid that he will not respect me; I’m afraid that he’ll view me as a child because generally only children control their bodies so poorly.

“And then I lose it. It becomes too much and I have to do something. I try to pee a little bit. Let me show you all, right here in front of the whole community.” A spot began to spread on the front of my gown. “Are you well, Clover?”

I heard a muffled “Yes, my lady! Did you managed to get that full so soon?”

I laughed and repeated her question. “No, but I’m full enough. We have a fair bit of boundary work ahead, so I’ve been drinking liquids all morning.”

“Yes, Pearl?” I said in response to his hand. “So if I’m getting turned on thinking about you wetting yourself in the meeting, you really want me to start jacking myself right here, in the middle of your speech?”

“Fuck yes. Exactly that. Although,” I said, glancing down, “looks like clover is ahead of you.”

“Mane, you noticed immediately, didn’t you?”

“Yes, my Lady Riding Atop.”

“I couldn’t tell. Once wasn’t enough though. I kept peeing, trying to hold it. Just like this, struggling to concentrate, to keep my body under control, but giving into my uncontrollable need.”

“Eventually I stopped. As I had feared, that was its own agony. Fortunately I don’t have to do that here.” I reached down and held my gown firmly against my cunt. “I can just wet myself, peeing all I have over Clover, drenching my gown and the stage.”

“O, that feels slutty!” I stripped out of the sodden garment and dropped it on Clover. Her damp face smiled up at me. “I think I’ll do without clothes for the rest of my visit.”

“The thing is,” I said, placing my hand against the front of my sopping panties, “it was hot.” I began to rub at myself through the fabric on the panties. “Surrendering to my body at that time was incredibly intense. There’s a sense in which I was surrendering to Mane, or at least exposing my vulnerability to him trusting that he’d see the nobility in accepting my needs even if I lost the traditional trappings of my position.”

“Take off your panties,” yelled someone from the back.

“They’re wet enough they are see-through. Besides, I want a tangible symbol of sharing my experience this morning and masturbating to it. I also promised a flirtatious lover that I’d have pee-soaked panties ready as a gag in case he got to be too much.”

I continued, “While I’m playing with my panties though, I should mention that there’s huge opportunities for the sort of vulnerability, sluttiness and connection I was talking about earlier with dirty panties. Both yours and your lovers.” I began to pant as I imagined Lord Matthew, or perhaps even Lord Morgan masturbating, my sopping panties held against their nose. “Same is true of cum rags and that sort of thing.”

All the while I continued rubbing. “It looks like I’m not the only one who’s coming out of my story,” I said. People around the room had hands to crotch. Two couples had taken it to the next level.

We enjoyed ourselves because we were sluts and that’s what sluts and lovers do. I savored my come: this was my largest audience outside of Oak Leaf.

“Crag, will that do,” I asked smiling.

“Yes, my lady, it will,” he said as he caught his breath.

“So, get on with it,” Galloping Wind said. Crag got up and approached a man two rows back and began to speak quietly.

Mane and I spent a while answering questions. People were worried both about the financial aspects of the situation as well as the deaths. We were honest but optimistic in our outlook. The meeting broke up.