Misty Reid - Saturday July 18th, 2015

“Jesus! What won’t you millennials do to scam a room and score drugs?”

“Matthew!” I was so happy to interrupt Meghan’s meandering story. Our sister glared from her seat at the side of my hospital bed. She stroked her hand through her dirty blond hair and sighed with her entire body. I would’ve jumped out of bed ... I sneered at my plaster encased foot.

“Oh, so you’re not dead?” Meghan scowled. She crossed her arms in front of herself. Her confrontational growl rumbled low in the throat. Between Matthew and myself, “You’re not dead!” was a cheerful exuberant hello. As if we were genuinely amazed at the concept. Meghan always hated that. Good for her to have something to throw in our faces. “And who’s with you? Do I finally get to meet this Gwen?”

“Um, not exactly,” Matthew burned red and looked at his sneakers. Meghan really got under his skin. I often wished I could. Sometimes it paid to be on team Meghan over team Matty. Right now, for instance. Meghan’s mouth was hanging open.

“Oh, how in the fuck--”

“Hi Meggy. Hi Misty.”

“Ha! Meggy!” I laughed almost recognizing the brunette shuffling out from behind my brother. She was without makeup but still quite good looking. She had really sharp features, high cheekbones, dark eyes, thin lips. Her black hair was wavy all around her shoulders. She was slender, a little shorter than Meghan and wearing ruffled business clothes. Those flats couldn’t match her suit. She must’ve borrowed them. Or she just had no self awareness.

“Janine!” Meghan growled out her name. Janine? Matthew’s lost love? I hadn’t seen her since I was 10, no wonder I didn’t place her. She was gorgeous, she couldn’t have been that hot when she was 21 right? Right now she was way too hot for Matthew.

“We ran into each other in Ottawa,” Matthew beamed slipping his arm around her waist.

“Janine,” Meghan was stark white, “What the hell’s going on?”

“I had to come back home,” She replied. She was a good liar. I believed her; Meghan couldn’t. I trust Meghan on shit like this mostly, “And Matthew made it happen.”

“But--”

“Can we talk later?” Janine pleaded, “I mean, Matthew rushed us here the moment we heard about Misty.”

“Nice catch, bro!” I couldn’t help myself. I keyed up a puppy dog pout and knew I had Matthew by the funny bone. I looked right into Janine’s rolling eyes, “Are you going to be my new sister?”

“Surrounded by idiots,” Meghan rumbled as I was engulfed in a brotherly hug. We were both laughing our asses off.

“She hasn’t changed,” Janine told Meghan.

“Neither has he,” My sister snarked.

“Yes,” Janine claimed solemnly, “He really has.”

“What the hell did you do to yourself?” Matthew pulled back and laid me back on my pillows. I chewed my lip. How much should I explain this?

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Misty,” Meghan groaned, “Twenty bucks says you can’t tell the story without even more embellishments this time...”

Misty Reid - Friday, July 17th, 2015

“You are a crazy bitch,” Joy, my best friend, pulled me to the bar by my new shiny dress. We slapped down on stools, myself less ladylike than Joy. I waved at some boys opposite the ones I had just been grinding on.

“Hey, I thought we were connecting,” Said the disembodied hand rolling over my shoulder.

“Yeah, but now I’m drinking and those guys have more money,” I explained. I always found honesty to be the best policy.

“Leave the cunt. Seriously, Richie, let’s go see if we can finally put your dick in sane.” His friend escorted my dancing boy away. The guys I signaled, two older men, older ha! I just traded college boys for people my sister’s age. Two hot shirts, a haymaker punch of cologne and a gold watch flanked Joy and I.

“Hi, what’s your name?” Too much cologne asked.

“I’m thinking Singapore slings,” I decided and poked Joy, “Or do you want mudslides again?”

Cologne came right in close and I chuckled. I do not giggle when I’m drunk. He flashed so many white teeth. Probably too many. Or maybe they were too big.

“You’re a beautiful woman,” He waved down the bartender.

“No, I’m sorry, really. My friend’s just been getting me in trouble all night. Can you help me get her to a cab? Please?” Joy was doing a poor job of getting the wingman on the hook. Had to be self sabotage. She was smoking in her slutty red dress. Her dark brown hair was all wavy, bitch, and she took half as long to get ready as me!

“Hey, did we lose Claire? And where are the others? Were there others? I remember showing up with boys.”

“She’s absolutely wasted. You’re a lifesaver. Thank you so much,” I felt her rubbing my arm, “Sweetie, c’mon, I know where we can go to keep partying.”

“I think your friend is trying to take you from me.” The gold watch said.

“Fuck off, she’s obliterated.” The words kept swirling around from all directions. Joy pulled me from the bar and I hopped off the stool, landed on a tilt and wobbled but did not fall down. I’m a goddamn ninja. What’s the girl word for ninja? Kun-something or other. Matthew would know.

“Hey, we hear from Matthew yet?” I asked Joy but she shook her head. I stumbled a little bit. I was more tilty drunk than blind drunk.

“I got you,” The gold watch was pushed away for Joy’s guy.

“Hey, don’t forget Joy!” I warned him, “You’ll like her. She’s nuts.”

“I’m right here, Misty,” Joy wrapped my other arm, “We’re going to grab a cab.”

“Do you like my shoes?”

“Yeah, sure sweetheart,” He glanced down at my legs. I have a lot of legs, it takes a lot more than that to see my shoes.

“You can look again,” I assured him.

“She is dangerous,” The guy was nervous. Boo! I ate nervous guys at breakfast ... I laughed.

The streetlights were kind of amberish and dirty. We passed the sleepy bouncer. The fresh air, harbor air, chemical air kicked me in the face.

“You two stay here,” Joy’s boy said as we reached the curb, “I’ll flag down the cab.”

“There’s only one boy for the two of us,” I excitedly warned Joy.

“Calm down, crazy,” She squeezed my hand.

“Where’d my boy go?”

“He was a bit of a creep,” Joy stroked my hair.

“Oh,” I saw my purse next to hers on her arm, “Give me my phone.”

“In the cab, crazy,” She promised.

“I paid for the cab, get your friend home safe,” The boy offered his hand. I never had a gentleman before. I bet he was hiding a complete freak. He held the door as I reached the cab.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Joy said to the guy as she pushed me in through the open door.

“Where to?” Asked the cabbie with the brutal East Coast accent.

“Um...” Joy was still outside with the guy, “Hurry up you two?”

“Night, thanks again!” A kiss on the cheek? Shame on you, girlfriend. Joy climbed in next to me without shoving me up against the door to make room for the guy. Then she closed the door behind herself. Boo!

“She going to be OK?” I was talked at again. People were rude.

“She’ll be fine,” Joy explained. I felt a hand run through my hair. She garbled something about Harborview Towers. Matty’s place sucks. Gentleman boy smacked the roof of the cab as we pulled away from the club.

“No, no, no,” I routed through my purse for my phone, “Let’s go see Paul.”

“Misty you’re wasted.”

“Yep, good wasted,” I smirked at Joy, “You can come too. Hell you can come twice.”

“I’m not pissed enough at Matthew to go looking up his friends,” Joy shook me. I grabbed her arm and couldn’t stop giggling, chuckling, chortling, laughing as I pulled her all about. She was well tickled when she slapped my hands off of her.

“So you’re going to send me this drunk to Craps?” I poked her but tickle war two was avoided as she managed to shove me off straight away.

“Craps may be bad but he’s not capable of doing anything other than putting you to bed cuddling a bucket,” Joy rebuked me, “We could both use a bed. Besides, since when am I a ‘Let’s go see Paul!’ kind of girl?”

“I didn’t valley girl like that,” I pouted. We were turning by The Alehouse to head down Brunswick Street. Paul quickly responded to my question marks and eggplant emojis with a “Doors opened” I waved my phone at Joy, “Please? Please, please, please? Pleeease?”

“Brunswick Street or Paul’s?” The cabbie mocked.

“Fuck it, Paul’s,” Joy stretched out. There’s my girl! I rattled off the address as I recalled it. Joy corrected me.

“Lucky bastard,” Growled the cabbie.

“Alright,” I tickled her again. She ninja’d my hands again, “Do we need ground rules or are you cool?”

“I’m leaving you at Paul’s sweetie. I’m going to bed.”

“Boo!”

“God you’re an irritating bitch,” She snarked.

“Two stops? Anything over 50 you’re going to have to cover it,” The cabbie interjected.

“Anything over 25 and you’re robbing us blind,” Joy snapped back.

“Jesus,” He grumbled.

“Don’t be mean, Joy,” I told her.

“You know I was excited to have you in town again. We’ve been drinking every night Misty. I can’t keep up with you right now,” Joy grumbled, “What the fuck did you do in Europe?”

“Johnny, Shawn, Ivan, Rene and Inga,” I recalled, “Mostly Rene.”

“We’re here,” We pulled up in front of the house.

“Over 50 my ass, the meter reads 13,” Joy made sure the strap of my purse was wrapped around my wrist and dragged me out of the car.

“Oh, you’re getting out too!” I exclaimed picking up her purse from the bench for her, “Good girl. Paul nights are great.”

“No, I’m...” Joy rushed around me as I shut the door of the cab. The cabbie tore away. I stepped backwards and the heel of my stiletto scraped across the sidewalk. Down I went like tower full of plane. I was laughing off the pain.

Meghan Reid - Saturday July 18th, 2015

My sister had reached the midpoint of her misadventures earlier this morning with grand hand gestures. If Matthew had been an hour earlier, there’d have been impossibly more profanities. As it was IVs they had given her to rehydrate had just recently lifted her to the point that the doctor had signed off on pain meds stronger than ibuprofen. She had needed them. You could see the morphine swimming in her eyes. I’d gotten the full story from Joy. A story that had actually happened. Misty was blushing, which she only does around Matthew and it was infuriating, about this cute guy name Rene she had met at the bar. Not true. I wondered if she was going to take the story to its ridiculous end or blame her ankle on her broken stiletto. No, Misty was shameless enough to keep the story rolling.

“She OK?” Janine crowded me by the window. Leaning down to the smell the flowers on the sill. Joseph was sweet. White camellias and lavender, more my thing than Misty, but the gesture was nice. Not even he had known anything about Matthew’s trip, ugh, Janine’s abduction. Misty rambled on. She was certainly more PG-13 right now. When I had driven in that morning I had learned my sister said cunt with an English accent. Nothing else seems to have stuck from her trip. Fanny still meant butt to her.

“It’s mostly a twisted ankle though her x-rays show a hairline fracture,” I explained drawing Matthew away from Misty, “She might be better in two weeks or she might be on crutches right until school in September.”

“Well, on the bright side, crutches’ll make her tits look great,” Matthew joked. Misty flared red as a tomato. I rolled my eyes.

“You just like the ones that can’t run away,” I’m always told strangers can’t tell when I’m being sarcastic. I was first told that by Janine. I’d figure she’d be able to catch it here but she looked aghast.

“That too,” Matthew agreed with a smile.

“I’m going to go to the washroom,” I told my siblings, “I’m going to borrow Janine.”

“Uh...” Matthew almost interrupted. Janine met his eyes and I was further worried.

“It’s OK Matthew, you need a cup of coffee too,” I couldn’t disagree with her, “We’ll be in the caf.”

“Alright,” Matthew mumbled. He almost wanted to follow but I could see guilt when he looked down at Misty. No surprise. Matthew was always a fuck up first and wallow in his mistakes later goof. How fucking bad was the Janine mistake? “Quit hogging the bed, cripple!”

Misty laughed as Matthew lifted her by the hips and slid her over to the edge of the bed. He then hopped up next to her.

“C’mon Janine,” I rolled my eyes theatrically, “Before they get all silly and everything.”

We passed Misty’s doctor in the hallway. I waved to her and she smiled back. I was hoping to get Misty released for dinner but because she had learned to imbibe alcohol from her brother’s suicidal friends and was now swimming in painkillers, I probably couldn’t expect to have an orderly wheeling her out tomorrow morning.

“So, I haven’t seen you since the Christening,” I kicked Janine straight in the feelings the moment we were out of earshot.

“Yeah, thanks Godmother.” She ground her teeth, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell Matthew then. Thank you.”

“Well, you are bad for him. Nearly as bad as he is for you.” I jabbed the elevator button a couple of times, “Even if you had to come back, why would you see him?”

“You don’t know?” She chewed her lip, “Fuck.”

“What don’t I know?” A couple of visitors flowed out of the elevator before we could get on.

“Matthew came to Ottawa with some girl name Gwendolyn,” I explained, “Have you met her?”

“Janine,” I rolled my eyes. Some waitress might dissuade Matthew for a moment but he nosedived his life for 10 years over Janine. Fuck Gwendolyn, “Can we focus on something important?”

“You should meet her,” Janine grumbled, “And the other girls?”

“Seriously? I’ve been to the restaurant before. I get it, they love Matthew but are completely underwhelmed by him. One of them hooked up with him? That doesn’t tell me shit about you! What the fuck is going on?” I grabbed her arm and she reached across herself to grab mine.

“He’s not going to be happy about this,” Janine ground her teeth, “But what choice do we have?”

“About what? What is this? A bracelet?” She had clasped a silver bangle around my left wrist. It was simple, classy. It was really me. It was another pointless distraction.

“Matthew owns people.”

Misty Reid - Friday, July 17th, 2015

“Fuck you!” Joy shouted as the cabbie drove off. I was laughing on my ass on the sidewalk. Joy scowled at me, “Eight nights in two weeks. Eight. And I’m stranded somewhere stupid with you. Again!”

“We still got Paul. Hey, have you ever had a threesome before?” I asked grinning.

“Sort of, I was with three guys once. They just sort of took turns, too afraid to touch each other when they were with me. Pussies. And certainly not because they were what they ate. Seriously, should’ve fucked a girl like you did. What’s it like with a girl involved? Or did you and ... Ingrid was it?”

“Inga.”

“Whatever, did you and Inga just go straight girl-girl in England? Well not straight. Except I guess you’re straight,” Joy murmured and sat down on the grass next to me, “I mean did you break your dyke cherry with her?”

“No, Inga was trans. Big boy hands and still had her dick. Otherwise she passed. I should get you in touch with whoever did her tits.”

“And fuck you,” Joy rolled her eyes and climb back to her feet. She paced in front of my legs for a bit, “You fucked a tranny?”

“No, she fucked me. Now, help me up!” I growled at her. Joy’s a tiny girl: 5’2’’, 105 pounds. She wasn’t much help dragging my 5’11’’, 155 pounds to my feet. Now, I’m not fat, I’m just tall and I even lift, bro, and I’ve got a great ass. And tits! Do you like 36 DDs? I would, but that’d take reduction surgery to go down a cup size. Joy’s got just a pair of perky little handfuls B’s. Great tits though, especially in her red dress.

“Your heel’s crooked,” Joy made sure to wrap an arm around my waist, “You should take them off.”

“It’s still good. It’s still good.”

“Not enough to walk, even the twelve steps to Paul’s door. Let go of my elbow and take off your shoes! It wouldn’t be the first time you left the bar with your heels in hand.”

“Oh, but they’re so cute,” I pouted.

“Yeah, and right now you’re 6’2’’, Paul’s going to need a stepladder,”

“That’s racist,” I frowned.

“It’s not racist that an Asian guy is shorter than you, Amazon,” Joy squatted down and slipped my heels off, “It’s just a fact.”

“Want to know another fact?” I asked.

“You get this from your brother don’t you?” She rolled her eyes as I stepped barefoot in the grass. It was cool. I liked it.

“Nope, no stupid there’s a giant strawberry vodka cloud way out in space kinda fact,” I promised.

“OK, what’s your fact?”

“Doors opened!” I quoted, jiggling my phone.

“OK, but Paul better have a couch for me,” She said leading me to the door, “I’m certainly not going up to the bedroom with you two.”

“You sure? I mean I’m not some rugmuncher and I was only willing to finger you if I really had to,” I smiled.

“Thanks, crazy, you’re a pal,” She blew a raspberry, “Why’d you pick him? What do you like about Paul?”

“He’s big,” I flashed all my teeth, “And not just for an Chinese guy.”

“Yes, I’m the racist one,” She laughed, “And how big is big?”

“Seven inches maybe? Six at least.”

“Wait, that’s big to you?” Joy crinkled her eyebrows.

“Really big, yeah.” I mean, yeah.

“God, I got to take better care of my girl,” Joy murmured as she opened the door for us, we stepped straight into the living room, “Hurray a couch!”

“Who the fuck is showing up now!” Some shrill bitch screamed and stomped down the stairs. She was a cute girl. Blonde, a little older than us, small tits in a blue bra under a shredded top. She wore too much red lipstick.

“It doesn’t matter who they are,” Paul followed down. He flashed a smile and forgot me entirely for Joy. Bastard, “We’ve been done for weeks, Lara. We’re still done.”

“You’re Matthew’s bitch sister!” I don’t think the bitch heard Paul. She stopped on the bottom step and still had to look up to snarl at me.

“No, I’m his whore sister,” I get mistaken for my bitch sister way too much. I may have been giggl-chuckling when I said: “Meghan’s still in Pictou.”

I took the slap straight on my chin. Joy leapt to my defense. That girl is half wolverine. I staggered back a step and the threshold of the door was slippery under my stockinged feet. Fuck!

Janine Porre - Saturday, July 18th, 2015

“Two creams and a sugar,” I put down the paper coffee cup in front of Meghan and slid her a saran wrapped tuna salad sandwich. I just had coffee for me. More cream. More sugar.

“Why? Why?” She dragged the bracelet I had caught her with around her wrist for the nth time. Her fair skin was interrupted by a thin highway of red from the irritation.

“Why’s easy. You might’ve called Hank,” I shrugged, “I’ve been focusing on how.”

“Oh God,” She put her face in her hands. Meghan was gorgeous now. She had been a bit chunky in high school and I bet Matthew had never saw her change. She was slender, fit, not so muscly like Misty but not soft like Gwendolyn was. She looked a lot like her mom had whereas Misty favored their dad. Matthew leant more towards Meghan, “What’s he going to do with ... Everyone? You? Me?”