Chapter 17: The Trick is to Keep Breathing

Wednesday October 28

I woke to my cell phone ringing. I looked at the clock and it said 6:15 a.m.

“Hello,” I croaked out.

“David, it’s Bo,” said Bo Harrington, my former quarterback coach and now assistant coach for Alabama.

“You know, calling this early won’t get me to commit to Alabama.”

“I know, but I needed to give you a heads-up. We received an overnight package from a lawyer—hang on and I’ll get his name,” Bo said, and I heard papers being shuffled. “A Mr. Thomas Fox. Anyway, he sent us a picture of a young girl with a black eye and split lip, and suggested that we might want to stop recruiting someone who’s been accused of raping the young lady.”

“Fuck me!”

“I think that’s exactly what this was intended to do. I would bet that everyone recruiting you will get one of these today. I just wanted to give you a heads-up,” Bo said.

“Will this hurt me with Alabama?” I asked.

“No, but I know you, and I know if you say you didn’t do it, you didn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if some schools back off until the dust settles.”

“I guess I need to get on the phone and reassure people.”

“One other thing you need to know. This came directly to me and not to our football office. All our websites, my business cards and the like all have the main office address. This had my office number on it. I decided early on to only give that out to recruits I have a good personal relationship with, and the only one I’ve done that with so far is you,” Bo said.

“Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll keep you in the loop on this mess,” I said, and then hung up.

As soon as I was done, I called Kendal.

“You need to get your boy on a leash!”

“What are you talking about?” Kendal asked.

I explained what Bo had told me. It was obvious to me that he had accessed my recruiting list and gotten contact information.

“I don’t know how Cal could have gotten the list. It’s stored on our server, which is separate from the rest of the firm. We did that because we also store your and other customers’ photos, and I bet you know why,” Kendal said.

She referred to the time they had given away my photos to clients and employees. I hadn’t been happy when I found out, but we worked past that. Then a horrible thought hit me.

“Kendal, are my modeling and acting contacts in the same place?” I asked.

“I need to find out. If he did access that server, he’ll be in a lot of trouble. What do you want us to do?” Kendal asked.

“I guess we’d better let Frank and Ms. Dixon know. It’s a good thing I don’t have school today, because I’ll be busy smoothing this over.”

My next call was to Frank. He had one new piece of information to brighten my day.

“TMZ just broke the picture on their website. This just went worldwide. Get ready for a circus,” Frank said.

He promised to get me talking points for when I called people. He agreed it had to be me to make the calls. They would all want to hear it from the horse’s mouth.

I looked at the clock and decided that I should just go run. I put my earbuds in, gathered my trusty hound, and started to pound the pavement. It was the perfect time to run. It was cool out and everyone had just woken up. Our streets were lined with old oak trees that formed a canopy over the street. They gave the neighborhood an established feel.

Then a thought hit me. I had to stop letting this consume me. I had a date with Brook Davis I needed to plan, since we couldn’t go to the dance. I’d always been at my best with the support of my friends and teammates. I needed to find a way to spend time with them.

Then I had a revelation: not once, since this had all started, had I thought I needed to talk to Tami. I was of two minds: I was glad I’d gotten to the point where I didn’t need to rely on my friend to help guide me; I was also sad, because it just highlighted how bad our relationship had become. For now, I didn’t intend to try to fix our friendship. I still had a hard time believing nothing happened with her and Alan. I’d seen too many things that Alan had done on recruiting trips to think he was too innocent or naïve to have done anything other than kiss her.

I shook my head to keep from getting angry again. I was better off to let some time, maybe a lot of time, go by, so that my emotions wouldn’t feel quite so raw. I wondered if there really would be a someday.

Then I thought about what Cal had done to me. My Christian charity had worn thin. I just could not find any forgiveness in my heart for him right now. The sad part was I had rather liked him. I really liked his daughter. If it hadn’t been for her, I probably would have gotten in my car and dragged both Cal and Mr. Fox into a dark alley by now. I just couldn’t fathom how you could be so vindictive towards the father of your grandbaby. The only answers I could come up with did not put Cal in a good light.

I let the run help focus me for the day. I dropped into the zone where I could figure things out. Unfortunately, the answers were not forthcoming, so I focused on my breathing. I concentrated so I could relax and let the tension wash away. I said my little prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I couldn’t change Cal, but I could change how I reacted to him. He needed to know I didn’t plan to just lie down and accept his attacks unchallenged. Too many people relied on me for that ever to happen.

When I stepped out of the shower, I started to plan my day. In my head, I had a list of things I needed to do. At the top of the list was to talk to my friends. I was surprised when the first person I wanted to call was Tracy. She and I had gone through a lot, and I knew she’d tell me what was going on before I called Brook, Zoe or Halle.

“How’s your vacation?” Tracy asked as she answered her phone.

“Sucks. All I’ve done for the past two days is deal with this stuff.”

“What did you do this morning to get my dad upset?” Tracy asked.

“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him since yesterday.”

“I think Kendal called him. He was ranting about company exposure and how could he be so stupid.”

I decided Tracy didn’t need to know and changed the subject. She and Pam were best friends.

“How’s Pam doing?” I asked.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Tracy, what do you think? Pam and I have been friends for a year now, and not just friends. She’s carrying our baby.”

“I know David. It’s just, I don’t know. She won’t talk to anyone, and I can tell this is tearing her up. Everyone’s on her about the restraining order, and the comments are starting to get nasty. There’s been talk about kicking her off the squad so you can play.”

“I’ll get the word out for everyone to back off. Kicking her off the squad wouldn’t work anyways. The order says I have to stay at least 100 yards away from school grounds, so it won’t matter if she’s there or not. I need you to be her friend. Do you have any extra pepper spray or a Taser you could give her? I don’t want her to get hurt,” I said.

“I’ve already taken care of it. You’d be amazed how the snapping noise of a Taser will get a crowd to back up. You need to talk to your friend Yuri. He’s been the most vocal, and if he isn’t careful I might zap him.”

“Let me call him before you do that. If he smarts off later today, you have my permission to make him flop like a carp out of water. If you do it, I want to see the video,” I said, which made Tracy laugh.

People didn’t realize that Tracy would throw down if you got her pissed. For that matter, so would Pam. Tommy Cox could attest to that. They had kicked the shit out of him when he’d puked on them last year. It had brought a smile to my face as they alternated between kicking him in the balls and spraying his face with pepper spray. The poor bastard didn’t know which end to cover up. Personally, I would have covered my balls. After all, I was a guy, and even blind guys get laid.

“If I can talk Mona into having a party Saturday night, will you come?” she asked.

“That would solve my dilemma with Brook. She’s my date to the dance, and we have our costumes ready. As much as I need to talk to Pam, can you talk to her and ask her not to go?” I asked.

“Will you pony up for the booze?” Tracy asked.

“No! I’m in enough trouble as it is. I’d be willing to contribute for decorations, food and sodas,” I said, and then had an idea. “Tell Mona that I’ll take care of everything. She just needs to get me access to her place Saturday afternoon.”

“I’ll tell her,” Tracy said. “I’ve got to get going. Let me know if you need anything. Pam may be my best friend, but so are you.”

“I would never put you in a position to test that friendship. Can you tell Pam that I’m not mad at her? I know her dad’s behind the mean things that’re going on. Tell her I’ll do whatever she wants as far as the baby’s concerned. I mean anything.”

“You’d marry her?” Tracy asked, and sounded shocked.

“If that’s what she wants, then yes,” I said. “Does that surprise you?”

“No, not really. I guess after what’s happened I was afraid you’d be annoyed with her.”

“I’m guessing she thinks the same thing. Pam and I aren’t supposed to talk right now. I’ll do everything to help her with our child. I hope that she and I can raise him without a lot of drama,” I said.

I heard Tracy giggle.

“So, you think it’s a boy?” she asked.

I smiled. I guess it just slipped out that that was what I’d hoped for.

“Of course it is, I’m a Dawson,” I said, as if that explained everything.

Tracy just laughed at me and hung up. I was sure that little tidbit would make the rounds today.

I called most everyone and talked to them for less than a minute. The simple message was: leave Pam alone, and Mona’s having a party Saturday night. Well, she hadn’t confirmed if she could, but I had volunteered her house. I was sure her parents wouldn’t mind. The one person who didn’t answer their phone was Yuri. I left him a message that warned him if he was a little dick, Tracy would Tase him. I made a mental note to have someone warn him, but I got busy doing other things.

The other thing was to go to Tom’s office and make phone calls under Frank’s supervision. I started with all my money-making ventures. Kendal gave me a full list and I sat in the conference room and talked to every one of them. I was happy to see that all the firms I represented were comfortable with me, for now. Dakora and Jade warned me that I had a clause in my contract that if I were charged, they could cancel it. I had Kendal confirm that and passed the information on to Don Rigby and Roy Thompson. The one thing I knew was they were interested in making money. If Cal shot the golden goose, they would take a hit financially.

After I made those calls, I’d had enough of playing nice. I went in and talked to Ms. Dixon. I explained what I thought had happened with the letters that were sent out, and why I thought the contact information for the recipients had to have come from Rigby, Thompson and Associates’ files. I also explained the potential for me to lose income because of it.

“If we can prove that Cal Bell used company resources to hurt your business, we’ll have a serious case against them. The problem is how to prove it. I suspect they have a file or folder for each client on their server. I know where I work, there’s software that shows who has accessed a file. The weakness in this kind of system is if there are hardcopies of your files in the office. If that’s the case, they could be copied and no one would be the wiser.

“As a client you can demand to see who’s accessed your information. If they refuse, we can get a court order. At that point, I’d say your relationship will be severed, and you’ll get no further cooperation,” Ms. Dixon warned me.

“What should I do?” I asked.

“I would meet with them. If you want me to represent you in the meeting, I’d be willing. I think if they aren’t careful, they’ll have more problems than allowing Mr. Bell to access your information. This is a non-waivable conflict of interest. Mr. Bell should be walled off from the rest of the firm,” she said.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I could see them requiring him to leave the office, remove his access to the computer network and physical files, no contact with any attorneys of the firm, a separate paralegal who’s also not allowed any access.

“I know where I work, we sign a contract, and it clearly says that I could be terminated for what it appears Cal has done. The reason they need to do this, from a business perspective, is the serious consequences involved. Failure to protect your interest will result in professional misconduct charges being brought against the firm and/or Mr. Bell. It’s worse for someone who knowingly breached the precautions set in place. I know it’s common sense, but this kind of thing happens more than you think.

“They’re playing with fire here. It’s common to see attorneys who fail to protect their clients’ interests in situations like this suspended, fined or, in the worst cases, permanently disbarred from the practice of law, on top of sanctions such as dismissal of the case. Then the fun begins. Once they’ve been sanctioned, you file the civil suit. Of course, by then you’ve been damaged. It would be better for them to get their house in order,” Ms. Dixon said.

“How should we proceed?” I asked.

“That’s up to you, but I would suggest you let me have a private word with them before we burn any bridges,” she said.

“Can you give them a time frame, so I don’t have more of my information used against me?” I asked.

She gave me a smile only a lawyer can. I felt the hairs go up on the back of my neck and was suddenly glad she was on my side.

“I’ll let you use your best judgment,” I said, and she just nodded.

I gave her Bo’s phone number and address so she could follow up with him, and went back to making calls.

My next calls went out to all the schools that had recruited me. I was surprised at how fickle the support was from some programs. Alabama and Kentucky backed me completely. Ohio State, Michigan and Michigan State listened to what I had to say and confirmed their offers. USC, Stanford, Oregon and Northwestern wanted to see how this all played out, but for now I had a scholarship if I wanted it. Notre Dame pulled back their offer and said that they were worried about my character. Finally, Iowa canceled my weekend trip. They told me that if it all worked out they would like me to visit during basketball season. They had a no-tolerance policy against domestic violence. While I agreed with their stance, I felt they should have waited until I was at least charged, instead of just assuming I had done something.

Luckily, my dad had raised me to not burn any bridges, so I didn’t say what I really thought about a couple of schools.

I then went through the list of schools that had sent me information and had asked me to visit.

The one school I took off my list was Missouri. For several months, black student groups had protested about racial slurs allegedly used by some white students on campus, as well as several other alleged acts of discriminatory behavior. Thirty black football players announced they would not practice or play until their university president was removed from office.

The reason I removed Missouri from the list was purely selfish: I was currently in the middle of my own scandal and didn’t feel the need to jump into another potential mess. The second reason was I totally disagreed with players walking off the football team. What floored me was their coach supported them. I knew that this would destroy the team’s chemistry, and I would bet money their season would go into the toilet because of it.

I didn’t have a problem with them protesting or using other means to show their displeasure. It was the act of walking out on their teammates that bothered me. I felt that if the whole team had walked out, that would have been different. When I saw it was only black players who took a stand, it told me they hadn’t talked to any of the other players on the team. If you had an us-against-them attitude on your team, it was ridiculous. A teammate wasn’t defined by the color of their skin. A teammate was someone you worked with on a daily basis to make the team the best it could be. I’d learned that last year when Brad Hope pitted the seniors against the underclassmen.

Two schools I made a point to contact were Florida and Florida State. I knew my mom wasn’t happy after she watched the ESPN show about athletes who committed crimes, and these two schools were the worst offenders of the teams that were looked at. The facts that it didn’t snow there and they had winning traditions were attractive.

Between calls I looked at different schools’ fan/recruiting web sites. The common theme was they didn’t want a player who hit and raped the mother of his child. I couldn’t blame them. I knew I assumed the worst when I read reports like mine. I wouldn’t be so quick to judge in the future.

One blog entry on a recruiting website caught my attention, and I immediately sent it to Frank. He then posted it for everyone to see. I was glad someone had some common sense.

I would also strongly urge folks to stop inferring anything either way about this situation. It is unseemly and reflects poorly on us as a fan community. It’s just as bad to accuse someone of making false accusations, as it is to accuse them of domestic violence. The fear that they will not be believed is the reason many victims back off or don’t come forward at all. Let’s not contribute to that problem. It saddens me to think this could be the case here and each time something like this happens it damages women.

I can only speak generally here because I, like all of you, know nothing firsthand about this case. One thing to keep in mind is that while it’s hardly unheard of for someone to make false allegations, the motivation is usually to gain the upper hand in a child custody proceeding or inflict revenge on the other party in a contentious relationship. The prosecutor isn’t stupid. He is going to look for independent evidence that can verify what happened outside the framework of he-said/she-said. Maybe an unbiased observer saw how the young woman was injured, or maybe the police can locate surveillance video. Give them the chance to do their job.

I rode to the hotel for the afternoon press conference with my mom and dad. As we pulled into the parking lot, I saw a lot of reporters and a crowd milling around the entrance.

“Dad, just valet park. I’ll pay for it,” I said.

“I’m not spending money just so you don’t have to walk a hundred feet,” Dad griped.

Boy was that a mistake! I am David Frickin Dawson. Girls like me. Not these! As soon as we stepped out of the car, a large group of women surrounded us.

“Rapist!”

That was probably the nicest thing that was said. I was actually spit upon. Dad had to wrestle Mom back into the car. If he hadn’t, she would’ve been on the nightly news in a brawl. I pushed my way through the protesters to draw them away from my parents. I almost had my own Bernie Madoff moment when a photographer pushed me to keep me in the middle of the angry women. I had to cringe, because this had national news lead written all over it, especially if I retaliated. I just walked around the asshole, and hotel security stopped the protesters and press from entering the lobby.

From the look on the face of the hotel manager, we would have to move our next press conference. I wouldn’t blame him, because this had to be disruptive for his guests.

I went and washed my face, and then went to find my parents. Dad had taken my mom in through the back door. She was seething when I found them.

“I have half a mind to go out there and wash all their mouths out with soap!”

I looked at Dad and we couldn’t help it, we started to laugh.

“You two idiots better watch yourselves,” Mom said, and then stormed off.

“I think I’m changing the code on my apartment door,” I said.

Dad just gave me a look that reminded me that every woman that I knew somehow had the code to get into my place. Mom would figure it out, and if she talked to Kendal, I would find my balls superglued to my thigh. I really was a ‘stupid boy’!

Mom and Dad joined me with Frank Ingram, Ms. Dixon and Tom in the small conference room.

“I wanted to pop in and give you an update on what the firm is doing,” Tom said. “Cal was confronted this morning and he had evidence that he’d gotten all of David’s contacts through external sources, so we can lay to rest the idea he used company resources.”

I was about to call bullshit, but restrained myself. Tom was in full lawyer mode, and what he said was to cover his firm’s ass. The reason I knew was because he was charged to deliver the message. If it had been Kendal here, red flags wouldn’t have gone off. Tom had been sent to manage the situation.

“Roy Thompson has ordered that while this is going on, Cal will be banned from the building. He will have no further access to company files, either electronic or hard copies. Cal will also have no contact with anyone in the firm. We want to assure you that Rigby, Thompson and Associates fully backs you as our client,” Tom said.

“That’s good to hear. I would ask that you not just take Cal’s word about how he obtained the contact information he used to harm our client. I expect you to launch an internal investigation to verify that David’s information hasn’t been looked at by Cal or anyone who shouldn’t have access,” Ms. Dixon said.

“I think we’re satisfied with what Cal has told us,” Tom said.

“I’m not. I don’t trust Cal, and I want you to verify that my information wasn’t used to do the mailings,” I said.

Tom looked worried, but nodded his agreement to look into it. I decided right then that if I ever found out that Rigby, Thompson and Associates helped Cal cover this up, heads would roll. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself. I didn’t need to open my mouth and confirm I suspected them of anything.

“Do you want to tell them what else Cal is up to?” Ms. Dixon said, as she obviously knew something the rest of us didn’t.

“Cal told me that he would be on the Nancy Grace show tonight,” Tom said.

“That’s not good,” Frank said.

When your PR agent was worried, you should be too. Nancy Grace loved a scandal and she frequently talked about victim’s rights.

“We have one other issue,” Ms. Dixon said. “David, who’s your girlfriend?”

That one caught me off guard.

“I’m seeing some people, but I don’t have a girlfriend right now.”

“Can you explain your Facebook page?” she asked.

She slid her laptop over to me and I saw my status wasn’t single.

“Hmm,” I said, and then it hit me. “Oh, shit.”

“Oh, shit is right. I hope to God you have a good explanation,” Ms. Dixon said.

“I can do better than that,” I said.

I logged onto my Dropbox, selected the video and hit play. It was from the flight where I sat with the young girl who asked me to be her boyfriend. I’d updated my Facebook page so she could tell her friends. I just never went back and changed it. Frank downloaded the video and rushed off to work on it for the press conference.

“Sorry, but it was pointed out to me, and it didn’t look good,” Ms. Dixon said.

“And if it was pointed out to you, then the other side would have it,” Mom reasoned.

“Exactly,” Ms. Dixon said.

“Do you know what’s happening with the investigation?” Dad asked.

“Detective Kitchens is being closed-mouthed about it. He did assure me they were wrapping things up. We have another issue, though. Since David admitted the child was his, Mr. Fox has petitioned the court to freeze his assets until the matter of child support can be resolved. We will be heard tomorrow afternoon,” Ms. Dixon said.

“They can’t do that,” Tom blurted out.

“I don’t plan to let them. It’s just another dirty trick. What would be reasonable would be to have an independent accounting done to make sure you don’t ship all your funds overseas. Tom’s firm is already doing that. This is more of a nuisance tactic, and if Mr. Fox isn’t careful, he’ll piss off the judge,” Ms. Dixon said.

“He’s starting to piss me off,” I said. “Have you dug anything up on him?”

Frank pulled out a folder that was about an inch thick.

“The trick is to condense all this down into a sound bite. If you want to have fun at his expense, I have two things of interest: it took him six tries to pass the bar exam, and even though he went to State, which is a great school to get your law degree, he finished 330th out of 342 in his graduating class,” Frank shared.

“Do you have anything on Cal?” I asked.

“David, don’t go there. He’ll be a grandfather of your baby someday,” Mom warned me.

“There is one thing that Ms. Dixon needs to know: Cal left his firm in California under a cloud of controversy. I’ll let you read his folder later,” Frank said.

“What are you talking about? I helped interview him, and everything was fine. Can I see what you have?” Tom asked.

“Tom, I hate to say this, but David paid for the research, and it’s his property. It’s already extraordinary that he’s allowing you to sit in on these sessions. If it were up to me, I would exclude you, and I think you know why,” Ms. Dixon said.

“I understand, and I appreciate David’s generosity. I don’t plan to take advantage of that,” Tom said.

“We know you won’t,” Dad said.

Then Dad’s phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and showed it to Mom.

“You better take that,” she said, and I could tell she wasn’t happy.

Frank and his staff prepped me for the interview. I was surprised when Angie showed up. When she walked in, both my parents left. Frank told me he needed to rehabilitate Angie so that she couldn’t be used against me in the future. He wanted to feature the work she did for single moms, and my involvement. There was a lull, so I went and looked for Mom and Dad and couldn’t find them. I called Mom.

“Hey, where’d you go?” I asked.

“The call was from Vickie Wesley-Prince. Phil saw the news and has questions. Your dad and I are meeting with her and her husband, Carl, to discuss what we should do.”

“How did she sound?” I asked.

“She’s not happy. Look, we’re there. I’ll talk to you at home,” Mom said, and then hung up.

When I walked back in, Angie wanted to talk.

“Are your mom and dad as mad with me as Greg is?” she asked.

I didn’t know how mad Greg was at Angie, but I could guess.

“They’re not happy. Phil’s asking questions, and his mom didn’t want him to know that Dad was his father. Mom and Dad are meeting with Phil’s parents to talk about it,” I said.

“Fuck,” Angie said.

“Yep.”

She looked upset, but I could tell she had more to say.

“I told Greg something about you. He told me I had to tell you, or he would. I’m a little afraid how you’ll take it.”

I just looked at her, which made her smile.

“You Dawsons really are all alike,” she said, then got serious. “When you and Tami were working things out, I told her what I thought of the whole thing. I told her that she shouldn’t be in a hurry to settle down. Looking back, it probably wasn’t what you wanted me to say.”

I could guess, and really didn’t want to hear it. Things with Tami hadn’t turned out how I wanted during the summer.

“Why did you do it? And not just back then, but with the interview? I thought you were part of the family,” I said.

She looked away and took a moment to gather herself.

“Leave it to you to get to the heart of the matter. I didn’t set out to be mean. The interview just popped out, but since then I’ve had to face myself, if for no other reason than I think Greg is ready to kick me to the curb.

“You know my family life. When things got difficult, they turned their backs on me. What I saw in your family was something I didn’t even know was possible to have. You all are closer than is probably good. You talk about things that I would have gone screaming from the kitchen table in embarrassment, if it had happened at my home. What amazed me was that you all took me in, as if I’d always been a part of your little clan. In many ways, I sympathized with Tami when you wanted to push her out. She’d been a part of something unique, and suddenly it was gone.

“One of my fears is that you all will find me out. I’m not like you. I need to have some things secret that I can’t tell the whole family. What I need to tell you to make this right, I can’t, for fear you’ll tell Greg,” Angie said, as a tear formed at the corner of her eye.

“What you don’t know is that I’ve had the same issues recently. I was upset that my mom wouldn’t tell me why she was upset with Dad concerning Phil. I have my own secrets now, because of it. If you need me to keep something just between the two of us, all you have to do is tell me,” I said.