Chapter 25

Susan felt very guilty, and rightly so, she thought. She had lied outright to Victor who had been so good to her, and with whom she was to all intents and purposes living. It was a heavy weight on her conscience. She resolved to go back that evening and confess everything.

However, when she arrived home with the children from Gail’s nursery that evening, there was the note. He was gone beyond her reach and she could not put things right. She looked again at the note. Not, ‘Dearest Susan’ and not ‘All my love’. The note was brief and rather formal. She felt fear. Did he already know?

A fortnight later, she was on her way back to the family, ready to spend a weekend at Ian’s house. She was happy to be able to celebrate Katy’s birthday, but there was a sense of foreboding. She was definitely going to tell him the true situation. If Ian threw her out, she would go back to Victor. She was not sure if she would confess to him as well.

She reckoned without an evening out, the family party and having children about the place.

She called at her Aunt’s house and Katy was there. The children were entertained while she took Katy upstairs and told her everything that she had done and what had happened.

“You’re a bloody fool!” was Katy’s response. “You’re sleeping with two men? And neither knows of the other? One of them is going to find out and then you’ll be toast. Why, Susan?”

“Well, you know about Ian. You practically pushed me onto him, and it was lovely to see him. I hadn’t had a man for ages and I wanted him. And he was so good to me, and we met again during the Christmas holidays but you know all that.

“Then when I went home I made my peace with Victor. He forgave me, and he was gentle and I wanted to show him how much I loved him. I made the running.

“At the time I hadn’t made any commitment to Ian beyond emails, and thanks to my server junking his mails I thought he had thought better of it, and Victor was the whole package – he’s considerate, loving, caring and he’s a superb lover.

“That’s why I didn’t even think about Ian when Uncle Barry had the stroke. Then I felt guilty when he texted me saying he was upset I didn’t see him.

“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you about Victor when I came for the long weekend, and again you pushed me to Ian. And he was so loving as well, so I went with him. I felt really guilty.

“I told Ian my life was with my job, but he wanted me to give it up and come back home and live with him. I didn’t want to cut him off completely, so I asked for time.

“Katy, I love them both in different ways. They are both loveable men. Victor is so relaxed and cares so much for me. Ian is really intense and that turns me on, and he loves the kids. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to give up my job, but apart from Victor I hardly know anyone there.”

“Victor is older, isn’t he?” said Katy. “I mean, quite a bit older.”

“He’s in his mid to late forties,” Susan replied, “but he’s very – vigorous.” She grinned.

Katy laughed, then became serious. “That’s a big age difference,” she said. “When you get to his present age he’ll be sixty going on seventy.”

“My problem with Ian,” Susan said, “is that I had enough of being dependent on a man with Seth. I had no power in the relationship; no money of my own. Now I’m independent and in charge of my life. I don’t want to go back to relying on a man, and I’ll never get a job like mine back here.”

“Hmm,” Katy mused. “Tricky. But, Susan, you’ll have to decide and very soon. This can’t go on, or you’ll end up losing both of them. Anyway, there’s a meeting of our friends at the pub tonight – the ones who aren’t invited to the ‘do’ tomorrow.”

Susan continued her journey and arrived at Ian’s house in the evening. Then there was unpacking, sorting the children out, getting some dinner and then the rigmarole of putting the children to bed.

No sooner had that been accomplished than Lucy arrived to babysit while they joined Katy for the evening get-together of friends. They returned home rather the worse for drink, thanked Lucy and fell into bed. The next morning they were off to prepare for the family party. Another late night and some sleepy love making, before being woken by the children on Sunday morning. Ian and she hardly spoke a word to each other the whole weekend.

Ian said a much as they hugged goodbye. “We never got a chance to talk at all!” he complained.

“I know,” she sympathised, “but that’s what family life is like. I’ll come back soon and we’ll talk then.”