Chapter 23

On the Wednesday of the first week in February, Susan received a phone call from Katy.

“It’s Uncle Harry,” she told her, “He’s had a stroke – not a big one, but the doctors are worried.”

Victor came out of the bedroom. “What’s the matter?” he asked, seeing her worried look.

“My uncle,” she said, “He’s ill – a stroke.”

“You want to go?”

“I can’t.” she replied, “the children.”

“How long would you be gone for?”

“A couple of days.”

“I’ll look after them.”

She hugged him hard. She knew he was more than capable.

“The weather’s taking a turn for the worse,” he told her. “Go by train.”

She went to the nursery school with Victor, and told Gail that Victor would look after her, then the same with Carl’s Day nursery. The little girl jumped up and down happily. So Susan felt relieved.

On her arrival at her uncle’s, the family wondered where the children were, and she told them that Victor was looking after them.

“So you patched things up with him,” said Katy.

Susan nodded.

“He sounds a very nice man,” said Aunt Lucy.

“He is,” Susan said warmly, “Very nice indeed. The children love him, and he helps me out no end. You know I found out he’s the owner of the flats I manage?”

“He’ll be a wealthy man then!” laughed Katy. “Very eligible!”

“I suppose so.” Susan tried to sound non-committal.

“You should invite him down to see us,” said Lucy. “Harry and I would love to meet him. You said he used to be in the army?”

“Yes,” Susan replied. “He was in the SAS, and something in intelligence. He still does some work for the MoD.”

“You must bring him down,” said Katy. “Sounds just my type!” and she laughed.

Susan’s visit was a short one, since Harry was being treated and was unlikely to suffer another stroke, but as she said to Victor when she returned, she had been neglecting her family for too long. She wanted to visit regularly, about once a month.

Victor thought it was a good idea, suggesting weekends so she could take the children. Her brother’s family could put her and the children up, to take the pressure off Lucy and Harry.

“And the family want to meet you,” she said. “They were impressed you were looking after the children.”

Victor agreed to go with her when both of them were free.

The next day she received a text from Ian.

You came to see Harry and I missed you. Don’t miss me out next time, please my love?

It made her think. In the helter-skelter of her love affair with Victor, she had almost forgotten him. She felt guilty. She would see him next time and explain about Victor.

Victor and Susan grew closer and more affectionate as the weeks went by. She looked happier, and Victor could not believe how close and loving they were, and how suddenly his life was that of a husband with a family – except of course that he wasn’t her husband, and they did not live together full time.

Then came March. Susan took the children with her for a long weekend, going south on Thursday afternoon, and due to return on the Tuesday following. Once again she stayed with Keith and Amy. It was crowded with the extra children but the children loved it. Susan spent the day on Friday with Harry and Lucy, and Amy brought the children along later for the evening meal.

“You didn’t bring Mr Freeman,” said Lucy. “Was he busy?”

“Perhaps next time,” said Susan avoiding an answer. It reminded her of her problem with Ian. She knew if he asked, she would sleep with him again, and she felt uncomfortable about Victor and about Ian; she had loving feelings for them both.

Katy breezed in on Saturday morning.

“Hey, Sis!” she greeted Susan, and they hugged and kissed. They two sat together and Susan told her about the happenings of the past month. But she did not mention her affair with Victor. Later she would wonder why but at the time she avoided giving the news without thinking about it. As a result, Katy invited her out for the evening.

“Just a drink with Alan and me,” she said. “Why don’t you ask Ian?”

Susan had remembered his text and felt guilty about him. “OK,” she said, and immediately phoned him. He was enthusiastic, but invited her over for the afternoon.

“Go on,” said Amy, “The kids are happy and occupied. Ian’s been asking about you, you know. He was sad you didn’t see him last time.”

“There wasn’t time,” Susan said. “In any case, I was here to see Uncle Harry.”

“Well, go tonight,” Amy insisted. “We can cope until tomorrow morning.” Amy smiled knowingly, and Susan blushed.

Ian undressed her in the bedroom. The evening in the pub had been very pleasant and they had parted from the other couple at the car park. They had not asked Susan if she was going home with them; it was assumed all round that she would go with Ian. And she had, walking hand in hand, until they reached his front door when he had kissed her passionately and she had responded in kind.

Once down to her lingerie, she stopped his further stripping of her, and took his clothes off, kissing him voraciously between garments. By the time she pulled his boxer shorts down, he was hard and ready. She cast a glance at his erection, and felt the dampness in her thong. She unclasped her bra and pushed her thong down. Then they kissed again, their hands roaming up and down, round, under, pressing and probing.

They dived for the bed and he pushed her over on her back, rearing over her and pushing deep into her in one violent thrust.

“Oh, Yes!” she cried, as he filled her. Further words were not exchanged. As his assault on her womanhood increased in tempo he pushed himself up on his arms and slammed into her again and again, harder and harder, staring at her tits as they shivered with each assault.

It did not hurt her, and she didn’t wonder why. She lifted her legs and scissored them behind Ian’s back, humping herself up to meet him. Both grunted and groaned with each crashing burying, until she cried out in her release, and her twitching and clasping, provoked his own resolution, as he spewed into her with deep moans.

He rolled off her and they lay side by side staring at the ceiling. Both were breathing heavily.

“God, I needed that!” he gasped.

“Um yeah!” she echoed, but suddenly remembered Victor. Guilt overcame her. How could she leave his bed and be in Ian’s two days later rutting like animals?

He sensed something. “Something the matter?”

“You never called me.” she said, thinking quickly. “I thought you might.”

“I emailed you every day for the first week,” he said.

She was genuinely puzzled at this. “I never got any.” she said looking towards him. Isn’t he gorgeous, she thought, gazing at his handsome face.

“They didn’t bounce,” he said. “D’you ever look in your junk file?”

“Not usually,” she said. “I just empty it when it’s full; I look it over then. But I haven’t done that since Christmas.”

“I bet your spam filter bunged my stuff in there,” he suggested.

“I promise to look when I get home,” she said.

“I was hoping this would be your home one day. You said you would think about it.”

“When I didn’t get anything from you, I rather let it drop – I thought you might have changed your mind, and didn’t want to push things.”

It was half a lie, and she knew it. She remembered being preoccupied with apologising to Victor, and then his prowess as a lover and his constant love for her in every aspect of life had put Ian out of her mind. Victor had taken her to heights that no one, not even Ian, had taken her.

She didn’t even think about Ian when she visited her Uncle Harry after the stroke. Her guilt became heavier when she realised that she had forgotten about Victor until coupling with Ian. What was wrong with her? She was being unfaithful to two men.

“I’ll never change my mind,” he was saying. “I always loved you. Even when you were gone. I went out with girls but none of them were enough after you. It was agony knowing you were with that toe-rag, having his children.”

She loved him for that, and pulled him to her. She now felt guilty at throwing him over for a wastrel like Seth – I wasn’t even that happy with him, she thought. But Ian makes me happy. Another thought then came unbidden, So does Victor. That thought arrested her. She was being unfaithful to two men. It could not continue, but she loved being with them each of them and making love with them both and she knew both men enjoyed her.

“Penny for them?” Ian asked.

She thought fast. “I didn’t think about us, after that misunderstanding after Christmas, and so my dilemma about coming back home for good hasn’t been resolved. I love my job and my friends, and the life I have there. I’m more at home there than here.”

“Your family is all here,” he said. “I’m here.”

“I know,” she sighed. “That’s why it’s so difficult. My job is very important to me; if I came back here I would have to give it up.”

“I earn enough for two, you know,” he offered.

“Ian,” she corrected him, “It’s not that; the job is part of my life. I’m good at it – very good. It gives me my independence, and my value. I’ve never had that before – I was always dependent on Seth, and now I don’t know if I can go back to being dependent again. I’m my own woman now, with two children to support, and I’m happy and satisfied to be just that.”

“You might be able to get another job,” he said. “There are lots of openings for office staff.”

“But my job isn’t an office job,” she said, becoming exasperated. “I run a number of blocks of flats, I organise and oversee staff, I employ workmen for maintenance. I liaise with tenants and owner-occupiers. It’s varied, it involves travel, accounting, communication. I’m an executive manager. You see?”

“I didn’t realise.” he said, “but you will think about it?”

“I will,” she answered. “Now, you ready for a return match?” she reached for him. “Oh, I feel you are.”

She climbed atop him, and rode him. Afterwards they lay and hugged and then suddenly she wanted to go back to her children. She promised him Monday evening, and he invited her to the house for a meal.

He was a good cook and after the meal they spent three hours in bed taking their time, before she had to go back and pack to go home.

This time she promised to keep in touch, and to invite him up to stay. However, as her flat and Victor got nearer she felt all the conflicting emotions and worries returning. She wondered how she would explain Ian to Victor, if Ian came to stay with her. Come to that she needed to explain Victor to Ian.

When she opened the door of the flat there was a note on the floor.

Dearest Susan, you’ll be tired after the journey, I’ve prepared supper. Come up. All my love, Victor.

Her heart swelled with love at his thoughtfulness, and after dropping her bags and sorting the children out, the family took the lift to the top floor. He as waiting at the door, a broad welcoming smile on his face.

As usual the children overwhelmed him, hugging and kissing him, then he stood and she fell into his arms and they kissed. She felt so much at home in his arms, and Ian began to recede.

They had a happy supper, and Susan wanted to stay. She said nothing, and Victor understood.

“I think you need a good night’s sleep,” he said. “You’ll be tired out. Work day tomorrow?”

She nodded.

“You’re welcome to stay the night,” he said as he stroked her hair,” but you might be better in your own bed.”

She realised why she loved him so much; his concern was for her and her alone. He forgot himself for her.