Thank God for Dick Pics

by Sid Emmet

Copyright© 2016 by Sid Emmet

Erotica Sex Story: Maria sat down at Ryan's table for lunch, if it hadn't been for dick pics, he might never have found out why she sat down in the first place.

Caution: This Erotica Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Romantic   Heterosexual   Fiction   Light Bond   Oral Sex   .

She dropped her phone on the table, and stabbed at her salad with a frown.

“What’s up?” Ryan asked.

“Ugh. Nothing but dick pics.” She continued scowling into her salad. “I’d say men are gross, but that’s not exactly news.”

“Dick ... pics?” Ryan asked before he thought better of it. Ryan and Maria had been having lunch together for months, but never veered into anything ... salacious before.

She glanced up, and blushed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No worries, I just didn’t expect it.”

“Nobody ever does.” She sighed, “except a single woman trying to find a date for Saturday night.” She cocked her head and gave him a penetrating look.

“Ryan ... Do you like beer?” She asked.

He nodded, his mouth too full to speak.

“What kind do you drink?” She asked. Her voice held a strange gravity that seemed to signal this was an Important Question.

“Depends on the weather.” He said after trying to figure out what she was up to and failing. “I like lagers in the summer, and ale or stout the rest of the time.” He wouldn’t have called himself a beer snob. He stopped drinking watered down piss in college, but beyond experimenting with what he found at his grocery store, he’d never bothered to look any deeper.

“Ok. You pass.” She said with a nod. “What are you doing Saturday night?”

The penny finally dropped and he sat back in shock. Was she asking him out? They’d been having lunch together all summer and he had become very fond of her, but they’d never really talked about their personal lives. Basics, like where they’d gone to school, and how they ended up here had been covered, but they had never talked about relationships or what they did in their time off. They both worked in the same business park, for different companies, and had started eating together when the courtyard tables had been full. It started out as pleasantries, and an occasional comment, but had grown into the highlight of his day. She was funny, witty, and incredibly smart. She did some sort of lab work that he didn’t understand, and enjoyed filling him in on the office gossip, knowing he’d probably never speak to anyone she worked with. He regaled her with horror stories from the pits of the IT department, and the latest escapades of the douche-bro salesmen who sold commercial real estate. They had a great rapport, but he had never considered actually asking her out. He dreamt about it, and wondered why he couldn’t have met her outside work, but he hadn’t and he didn’t want to put her on the spot, or lose his lunch buddy so he’d never let it grow beyond daydreams.

Lost in his reverie, she lost her nerve.

“Hey look, no big deal. I was just...”

He slapped the table as he tried to swallow too much food and almost choked. “Wait!” He croaked.

To her credit, she waited, frozen in mid-backpedal as he managed to finish swallowing and drank a sip of water.

“Saturday night? Nothing, why?” He tried to ask innocently.

“You’re going to make me say it aren’t you?” She replied with a frown, but her eyes still looked happy, so he pressed his luck.

“Say what?” He smiled back at her.

“Fine. Would you be so kind as to grace me with your presence Saturday night so that we may taste many a beer?” If anything, her frown had deepened.

“I’d be honored.” He gave a mock bow, but a genuine smile. “To escort such a ravishing young woman anywhere, anytime.”

She laughed. “Ravishing huh? Ok. You’re forgiven.”

“So. About these dick pics.” He started, unsure exactly where he was going.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me. Do guys seriously think we’re going to get all hot and bothered over some blurry picture of a wang? Would you get all hot and bothered if I sent you a blurry picture of my boob?”

Ryan considered for a moment, there were actually two questions in there,

“If you sent it?” He asked.

She blushed, “I mean, if some random woman sent you a picture of a boob, not me.”

“If a random woman sent one, no. I would not get ‘hot and bothered’.” He left the unsaid exception lie between them a moment. “I prefer a tease. A hint. Something that leaves room for my imagination.”

“Right?!” Maria agreed. “It’s just gross. Like if I like a the guy, I’ll definitely want to see it, sooner or later. But some rando from the internet? No thanks.” She glanced back down at her phone with a look of disgust.

“Have you?” He asked, being purposefully vague.

“Have I what?” She looked nervous, he suspected she knew what he was asking, which was a good hint about how hard to press.

“Have you sent pictures of your boobs to a guy? And did it get him all hot and bothered?” He said conversationally.

She blushed bright red and started to stammer “No. I mean, not really ... I mean...”

“Not really?” He was smiling now, it was rare to see her flustered. She usually had this air of competence and control about her. “How can you say not really?”

She covered her face with her hands. “It wasn’t my boobs.” Came the quiet admission.

Ryan was shocked. He’d been playing, more or less, just seeing how far he could go, but he didn’t expect that Maria had actually done it.

“Wait, what? If it wasn’t...” He started.

“It was my ass. Well, I was wearing underwear ... but kind of see through? But I didn’t send it.” Her voice quiet and unsure at the beginning, ended with conviction.

“Let me get this straight. You took a picture of your ass in fancy underwear.” Ryan paused as he glanced around the table at her butt. Maria, blushed some more and nodded. “But then didn’t send it to the guy you took it for?”

She dropped both hands to the table with a bang and sighed.

“It was stupid. He was ... is my ex. He said I was too boring ... so I took this photo intending to show him what he was missing, but I couldn’t send it.”

“Oh.” Ryan sat back. “That makes sense. He could’ve put it on the internet, or sent it to you family. Or something.”

She nodded, and said “That’s not why I stopped. He was right in a way, I was boring, with him. Mainly because I didn’t really trust him and I was right. He’d been cheating on me pretty much the whole time. And after I left, I wanted to show him that he was wrong about me, that he was missing out. But I decided that it wasn’t worth it. He’s a piece of shit, so why bother?”

Ryan nodded.

“So what happened to the photo?” He tried to ask nonchalantly. This conversation had opened up all kinds of new things about Maria that he wouldn’t have guessed.

“It’s still on my phone. I couldn’t delete it. It’s ridiculous, but I...” She ran out of breath, the suddenly looked at him with a sharp expression.

“I expect you want to see it.” She said with resignation.

“Whoa ... whoa. Let’s back up a second.” Oddly he noticed she seemed to deflate a little when he said that.

“First of all. Yes. Of course I do.” She perked back up. “But, not if you don’t want to show it.”

Her face was a blank, her dark eyes were searching his, when she said in a voice that didn’t match her face at all “It’s sooooo embarrassing. I don’t think I could ever willingly show it to anybody.”

The odd tone and inflections made Ryan sit up straight. There was something going on here, something that made the hair on neck stand up. Was she really saying what he thought she was saying?

“I think I need to see it.” He said flatly. No trace of begging or pleading in his voice, yet not quite a command either. He was watching her very closely now, and saw her relax with a glimmer of a smile on her lips.

She reached for her phone and turned it on.

“Oh shit. I’m late! I have to go.” Rapidly she gathered up her dishes, and with a seconds pause, reached out and grabbed Ryan’s hand to give it a squeeze. “Can I call later?”

Ryan, dumbfounded, nodded yes. She gave him a warm smile and hurried back to her lab. He gathered up his things more slowly, realizing he was just as late. No one ever came down to the IT dungeon unless things were literally on fire, so he didn’t feel the need to rush. Instead he moved methodically, his mind carefully going over the last hour to figure out what just happened.

The afternoon passed in a blur, and as he was walking out of his building, she zipped by in her car waving to him. He waved back and then felt his phone buzz. He almost dropped his phone when he realized what he was looking at. She’d texted him the photo, and it took his breath away. She was lying on her side, away from the camera, and the photo was cropped between the middle of her back and the backs of her knees. It was clear she was topless, and her underwear, while modestly cut, was exceptionally sheer and left little to the imagination. She was trim and obviously fit, her ass looked beautiful. Round, smooth and firm, it perfectly filled out the underwear worn low on her hips, He felt his mouth water and he snapped back to reality. In a daze he got to his car and made his way home, his mind seared by the image and what it seemed to mean.

That evening while he was slowly eating a bowl of macaroni & cheese his phone rang.



“So? Did you get it? I didn’t send it to the wrong number did I?” Her words tumbled out in a rush.

“Oh yeah, I got it. Holy shit Maria.” Was all he could say. He had spent more time than he would’ve liked to admit staring at that photograph once he got home.

“Is that good?” She asked.

“It’s way beyond good. It’s...” He stopped, and considered his words. He had been about to launch into an effusive, even fawning appreciation of it, but the sudden change in the nature of their relationship had him feeling cautious. “It’s amazing.” He finished quietly.

“Really?” She sounded hopeful and happy. “I totally chickened out, and had to run away after I sent it, but you told me to send it so...”

“I did.” Ryan said, thinking carefully about his next words. “I’m proud of you, it took guts to send that. How do you feel about it now?”

“Giddy. I’ve never sent anything like that to anyone before ... my hands were shaking.” She laughed.

“Jesus. You look amazing. I ... may have looked at it a lot.” He said.

“Good! You should. That’s why I sent it!” She paused. “I should go, I’m burning my dinner.”

Ryan laughed. “Ok, I’ll talk ... I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She laughed with him. “Not as much as you’re seeing tonight ... probably. Bye Ryan.”

‘Probably.’ He thought as he sat back. There’s a lot of room in that one word. He would’ve liked to spend more time talking to her, but his brain shut down when he started thinking about the photograph and he vowed to keep his mind in the moment tomorrow. At least that would keep him from drooling in public.

He was just about to step into the shower the next afternoon, when his phone buzzed. He glanced down and saw that Maria had sent another photo. She was in the tub, the photo was from her point of view, he could see the tops of silky looking thighs where they broke the surface of the water, down to her feet resting on the top of the tub. Her toenails painted a pale pink.

He decided to fight fire with fire. It took him a few minutes to figure out the best angle with his phone that showed that he was probably naked, but without giving definite proof. His hand was shaking as it hovered over the reply button. He’d never taken any kind of selfie, and he was about the jump into the deep end. Well, it didn’t really matter, he told himself, he wasn’t showing anything that she couldn’t see if he was in a bathing suit. His hands weren’t shaking any less, but he hit send and then jumped in the shower before his phone buzzed again.

“Ryan!!! HOLY SHIT!!!”

The single response made him smile like an idiot ... The butterflies in stomach started fluttering as he got dressed. It had been months since he’d gone on any kind of date. He had settled into a very quiet existence without realizing how much he missed having a social life. He had moved here about 18 months ago, and other than a few ill-conceived blind dates setup by the administrative assistant at the office, he hadn’t gone out much. He was still in touch with most of his old friends online, but they were 600 miles away. He’d been content to go home after work, play video games or read and go to bed. On the weekends he’d explore the surrounding countryside, but never bothered to try to meet new people in his new hometown.

He felt out of practice, and his nervousness increased as he waited for the cab. A quick gut-check told him what he already knew. He really liked Maria, and it wasn’t just that she was one of the few ‘friends’ he had made here, he genuinely liked her, and if they had met anywhere else but at work he’d have asked her out a long time ago. As it was, she asked him out and neatly side-stepped his personal rule about hitting on somebody at work. He heard the cab honk outside, did a quick check in the mirror, took a deep breath and headed out the door.

Maria was waiting on the steps of a small house with flowers in the front yard. As soon as she saw him sitting in the back of the cab, a huge smile exploded across her face and she walked quickly towards him. Before he had a chance to hop out and let her in she had the door open and said just said “scoot” before plopping down next to him.

The size of the brewery surprised him. He had expected the place would be like a bar, but tucked behind a few industrial buildings was a large outdoor area with picnic tables, a stage, grassy areas and a huge crowd of people. He could hear live music from out on the sidewalk and what sounded like a happy crowd.


“Yeah! Have you been here?” Maria asked as she took his arm. He shook his head, a little overwhelmed.

“This is their big event every year. They make a harvest lager at the end of every summer and only sell it here. People come from all over to buy it. It’s like 3 days of music and beer. Like a mini-oktoberfest. I hope you wore your dancing shoes...” She smiled at him.

He stopped dead. “I ... uh ... I don’t know how to dance.”

“Pffft. Everybody can dance. You just move to the music. It’s not hard.”

He gave her a side-eye glance, debating how stubborn he was going to be about this. He was definitely uncomfortable about dancing with her.

“Ryan, I want to dance. I want to dance with you. I don’t care how you dance as long as you dance with me. Well, as long as you don’t break my nose or knock me down too often.” She laughed.

“Ok. But I can’t guarantee you won’t fall down laughing.” Her smile was infectious.

They had a great time. He did dance, and didn’t do too much damage to her or to the people dancing around them. It helped that a large part of the crowd was pretty hammered, even though it was still early. The band didn’t do slow songs, but that didn’t keep Maria from wrapping her arms around him every chance she got. They determined that she preferred the hoppy beers, while he liked the mellower malty ales. The Harvest Lager was darker than he was used to, but it was smooth and packed a hell of a punch.

He wasn’t drunk exactly, but definitely well into buzzed when she draped herself across his lap and said “I think I’m done. Can you take me home?”

When they got to her place, she tugged his hand as he got out. He followed, but asked the driver to wait a few minutes. She frowned at him, but didn’t let go of his hand. Inside, he looked around and saw about what he expected. Clean, nicely decorated, and cozy. The floor to ceiling bookcases in the living room were packed full of books of all kinds. He caught some imposing chemistry texts, but most of was filled with novels, well-read by the state of their bindings. While he was perusing, Maria slipped off her shoes, and came up in front of him.

“Unzip me?” She said and turned around.

As the zipper came down, he saw the same creamy skin he’d seen in the photo, but this time he could feel the warmth and her gentle scent wafted into his nostrils. He felt flushed, light headed. She looked over her shoulder, and smiled.

“Thanks. I’m going to change. Back in a second. Don’t go anywhere.” She walked away, his eyes automatically followed and an idle though wondered what underwear she might be wearing. He needed a glass of water.

She found him in the kitchen filling two glasses of water. He passed her one without a word, and they clinked glasses like they had been doing all evening. He shook his head slightly, she had certainly changed into something more comfortable. It was a giant shirt with the logo of her alma mater, the neck was cut out and it hung almost to her knees. Barefoot she was almost a full foot shorter than he was, and swimming a the giant shirt made her look even smaller. She looked like some kind of adorable waif.

“Ryan, will you stay?” He closed his eyes. He was hoping for this, and afraid of it at the same time.

“I really want to, but I can’t. Not tonight.” He said quietly as he watched her face fall. “Not while we’re drunk. Or buzzed or whatever.” She looked at him closely and then nodded her acceptance.

“Tuck me in at least?” Her eyebrows told him he was walking into the lions den, but he figured it would be worth the mauling.

She drained her glass, refilled it and sashayed out of the kitchen, a smirk on her face as she looked back to make sure he was paying attention. He was. He followed, eyes trying to map every possible glimpse of her curves that flashed under the thin cloth of her shirt. As she passed through the living room, she hitched up the shirt enough for him to realize that she was wearing nothing underneath. Her laughter told him she’d seen his jaw drop open. She dropped the hem and scampered around the corner and down the hall. He heard the boxsprings creak as she apparently jumped into the bed. He walked, sedately, because he wouldn’t have been able to run even if he wanted to, his pants were too tight.

As he rounded the corner, an involuntary groan escaped his throat. She was laying back, hair spread out on the pillows, covers thrown back, her shirt had ridden up high enough that he could almost glimpse what he ached to see. But it was the expression on her face that caused him to groan. She was happy, flushed, disheveled, and looked at him hungrily as he made his way into the room.

“Are you sure you won’t stay?” She asked, her eyes were glued to his belt.

“Don’t push.” He knew he didn’t have the self-control to withstand much more. “If we do this, I want us to both be sober and sure about it. So when you’re sober and had some time to think about it, let me know. You won’t have to ask a third time. I promise you that.” His eyes had drifted to the junction of her thighs, it was dim in here, but he swore he could see a few wisps of pubic hair peeking out from under her shirt. With a start, he darted his eyes back to hers. They were laughing at him, but her cheeks were flushed and she couldn’t keep his gaze for long before her eyes began to travel south.

Carefully he shook the sheet out over her, and then tucked the comforter up around her shoulders. She was shameless in arching her back, and wiggling around to get his hands to brush against her as he did so. His resolve was eroding fast, but decided this was a battle of wills he wouldn’t lose.

“You’re evil.” He said quietly as he leaned over to kiss her forehead. She darted a hand out and grabbed the back of his head. The 1000 megawatt kiss she laid on him didn’t help her case. He returned it with interest, and when she finally disengaged gasping, she squinted at him.

“I’m evil? You’re the one who just ruined my panties, if I’d been wearing any, and now you’re leaving. I think you’ve got your moral compass backwards.” She couldn’t keep her frown going though and the smile that broke grabbed his heart and gave it a wrench. He wanted her to look this happy all the time he realized.

“You know the rules.” He said, as sternly as he could, thankful his voice didn’t crack. “And you know how to reach me.”

The sultry “Yes sir.” She said to his back as he was almost out of the door came within a hair of breaking him. He almost ran out of the house and got back in the cab. The driver look surprised that he had actually returned, and his expression called him a poor dumb bastard with more clarity than any words would have, but wordlessly drove Ryan home and left him at the curb.

Ryan took a few deep breaths to try to cool off, and realized there was no way he was falling asleep without masturbating first.

He woke to the ding of text message. Disoriented, he found his phone, still showing the photo he’d spent a pleasurable few minutes staring at late last night and saw that Maria had wasted no time.

“I’m sober. Why aren’t you here?”

Clean, shaved, and wearing a freshly pressed shirt, he rang her doorbell. The smile on her face as she swung the door open was the same beautiful one she’d been wearing last night when he left. She was still wearing the same shirt, and her hair was adorably mussed. She looked him up and down and her smile turned into a slight frown.

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