The Caveman
Copyright© 2016 by Colin Barrett
Chapter 60
I set up an appointment with Graham and when I see him I come directly to the point.
“Dr. Graham, you said the other night that you can run DNA tests on furs,” I remind him. “A piece of very interesting fur has come into my possession and I’d like you to do that with it.” I show him the piece.
He looks at me in surprise, but then takes the fur from my hand and looks it over. He shakes his head. “This is fairly recent, Ms. Calvalli—”
“Mrs.,” I correct him. People carry this politically correct stuff too far, I have to live with it in court but I’m Hugo’s wife and my name comes from him and I’d prefer the proper honorific.
“Mrs. Calvalli, then,” he says. “But the fur is new, comparatively speaking. Contemporaneous. I have no idea what it is, but I’m no fur expert. I can tell you with certainty, though, that there’s no possible way this could have anything to do with my field, which is prehistoric man.”
“Even so,” I persist. “Can you have the test run?”
He shakes his head and gives me a patronizing smile. “Mrs. Calvalli, DNA testing costs money. Our department—”
“How much?” I interrupt him.
“Well ... That’s rather beside the point, isn’t it?”
“I’ll pay for the test,” I say. I pull my checkbook out of my purse. “Tell me how much, and I’ll write you a check right now. If you like you can even wait for it to clear before you order the test.”
He gives me a very strange look indeed. “Why would you want to do that?” he asks. “I’m speaking from some experience here, and I’m telling you with absolute certainty that this is not fossil fur. Even if it had been encased in ice from the moment the animal died—”
“Please, Dr. Graham,” I cut him off again. “There’s no risk to you or your department here, I’ll put up the money. I have my reasons for wanting it tested. Won’t you humor me?”
“Perhaps if you told me a little more about the piece...” he says.
“I’d rather not say anything more now,” I tell him. “Maybe after the test has been run.”
He throws up his hands. “It’s your money, Mrs. Calvalli, and I’m telling you you’re wasting it. But if you insist—” He tells me a number. It’s a good bit more than I’d expected, we occasionally do DNA work at the firm and that’s cheaper, but I suppose comparisons with extinct-animal DNA are a little esoteric. I write him the check and give him my card.
“Please call me when you get the results,” I say. He promises he will.
“Good evening, Dr. Graham,” I say as he stands on our stoop. “Welcome to our home.”
He’s right on time, so much on the dot that I wonder if he’s been waiting in his car beside the road for the hour to arrive. It took more than a month, but he’d called this afternoon with about the sense of urgency I’d expected.
“That piece of fur, Mrs. Calvalli, I must know how you came to have it,” he’d said in an agitated and slightly hoarse voice.
“I gather the DNA test results came back,” I responded placidly.
“Yes, and— Mrs. Calvalli, this is impossible! But the lab says they’re very sure, a hundred percent. They tell me it’s the finest specimen they’ve ever seen. Where did you get it?”
“I’m sorry, doctor, but I’m afraid that’s something I’m not prepared to discuss on the phone,” I told him. “Are you free this evening?”
“I— I can certainly arrange to be,” he said.
“Good.” I gave him our address. “After dinner, say about eight. I may be able to tell you a little more then. Goodbye until then, and thank you for your call.” And I hung up, and now here he is, champing at the bit.
But not so champing that he hasn’t noticed his surroundings. “A very impressive estate,” he says. I’ve buzzed him in through an imposing gate and he’s driven several hundred yards up our winding, tree-lined drive to get here. “I certainly hadn’t expected anything quite so ... elegant.”
“Well,” I tell him as I take his jacket—it’s coming up spring but there’s still a pretty good nip in the air, “I’m an attorney, and you know how people are always saying we’re overpaid.” I don’t go into it any further, it’s none of his business.
“Come in and have a seat,” I continue. “I don’t know whether you remember my husband Hugo from your talk a few weeks back. May I get you something to drink?”
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