Chapter 3

Nikki and her co-hosts always had a tablet in front of them and a cell phone on their laps while on the air. Their assistants and other sources often texted extremely urgent comments or news breaks that might be pertinent to whatever subject they were covering at a given time.

On her first day on the set after her weekend break, Nikki received a text unlike others that came to her while she was on the air. The texter’s ID was blocked.

arms look amazing today

She was wearing a sleeveless blouse, partly because of the conversation she had with her son a few days before. He said he liked her arms. She felt guilty about it, but that made her want to expose them while on TV. Less than a minute later, another text arrived.

nice shirt but u could undo another button

The second message made Nikki chuckle slightly, but she was able to stifle it. However, she felt she might have turned a little red. Her co-host gave her a subtle elbow nudge. Nikki laughed it off, until she talked to her son later that day. She called him at her first opportunity.

“Hi, Mom,” David answered.

“Hi yourself,” Nikki said into her phone...

“Something wrong?”

“Yes, wiseguy. Nice texts while I was on the air!”

“What are you talking about, Mom?”

“Oh, don’t even. You know my cell number for urgent messages from my sources. Clearly those texts were from you.”

“OK, relax. I was just fooling around.”

“Well, it was embarrassing.”

“Why, did someone else see them?”

“No. But they almost made me blush, on the air!”

“I know, I was watching, of course.”

“You really are a jerk, you know that? I want to talk to you about this later.”

“Are you going to ground me? I’m a little old for that.”

“You’re a little old for sending prank texts to your mother while she’s on TV, too!”

“Fine, we can talk. But they weren’t pranks.”

“How do you figure that they weren’t pranks?”

“Because yes, I was messing with you. But I wasn’t kidding. Your arms looked amazing and I thought you would have looked even better with your blouse unbuttoned a little more. Those comments weren’t pranks.”

“We really do need to talk. Can you come for dinner?”

“Wouldn’t miss it, Mom.”

David showed up at Nikki’s condo at the appointed time. They made small talk until they sat down at the dining room table for the dinner she had called out for.

“So, explain yourself,” Nikki began.”What exactly is going on?”

“What do you mean, Mom?” David replied.

“What are you doing? What are we doing?”

“You asked me that already. More than once. I don’t see why...”

“Oh bullshit, David! Those texts you sent me. What was up with that?”

“I told you I was just goofing around.”

“I don’t think you were, David. It felt like you were ... flirting with me.”

“Maybe a little, just in fun.”

“In fun? Telling me I should unbutton my blouse? You don’t joke with your mother that way. And besides, you know I’m talking about more than the texts.”

“I know, I know. The kissing.”

“Yes, the kissing. First, we dance all night at the charity event and you hold me close to you the whole night. Then at my hotel room door, you kiss me. And not a kiss that a son would give his mother.”

“I get it, Mom. I was there too.”

“But that wasn’t the end and you know it, David. When you were here Friday, we did more than just kiss. We were pretty much ... making out.”

“It wasn’t just me, Mom. I know you wanted it too.”

“I’m not saying I didn’t, David. I did. I d...”

“Yes? You were about to say, you do, right?”

“That’s not the point. The point is, why are we doing this?”

“I don’t have an answer, Mom. And I’m not sure I want one anyway.”

“What does that mean?”

“I mean, why do we need a reason beyond the fact that. for all intents and purposes, we’re both alone, we’re extremely close, we care greatly for each other and we’re both adults. Why does anything else matter?”

“You know that it does matter, David. People just don’t do this.”

“I think they do, Mom, sometimes. You probably know more about it than me. Haven’t you reported on some aspect of this? people have desires like this and sometimes they do things about it. You know that’s true. Sometimes they ... Well sometimes they take it pretty far.”

“Are you saying that’s what you want? David, seriously. This isn’t something we can just play around with when we feel like it.”

“Play around, Mom?”

“You know I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Well, why can’t we do what we feel like doing and see what happens?”

Nikki thought for a few moments.

“What exactly to you feel like doing?” she asked.

“I’m telling you, I don’t know, Mom.”

“Well, what are you feeling? I mean, something’s going on. Is it just that you’re feeling distant from Paige?”

“No, not just that. Not at all. I mean, I can’t help that my marriage ending isn’t making me reconsider lots of things. Of course it is.”

“OK, so what are you thinking, or rethinking?”

“I’m just thinking about what makes sense in my life, what feels right.”

“That’s a good thing, I guess. So, what are you coming up with? What feels right?”

“You really want to know, Mom?”

“Of course I do, David.”

“You.”

“David...”

“Life feels right, I feel right, when I’m ... with you. When we’re together.”

Nikki paused to allow her son’s words to sink in.

“Are you saying you...”

“I don’t know exactly what I’m saying, Mom. You keep asking what I’m saying, what I mean and I don’t have good answers for you. I’m piecing this together as I go.”

“So, back to the gala. I wasn’t imagining it when I felt like you were feeling something more than just a desire to dance. The way you were holding me was...”

“Yes, it was ... more than wanting to dance. I don’t think I even realized it at the time. I just wanted to...”

“To what, David?”

“I just wanted to hold you all night long.”

“So, you have new feelings for me? For your mother?”

“I don’t know how new they are, Mom. I mean, haven’t we always been extremely close? Don’t you feel that way?”

“David, of course I do, but ... I never...”

“How did you feel when we were dancing? And when we were at your hotel room door?”

“I ... I don’t know.,” Nikki said, suddenly feeling nervous. “It was so late, I was tired. I can’t remember.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“All right. Maybe I felt something like what you’re describing. I didn’t analyze it. I just always feel that way when we’re together. Especially when we’re ... alone together. Oh ... what is happening here?”

“Doesn’t it make a lot of sense? We’ve always had an extremely close relationship, even when Dad was alive. I’d call us best friends, wouldn’t you?” Nikki looked away, but nodded her head. “Me too. We’ve both had failed relationships, including the ones we’re in now. Things just make more sense when we’re together. I can’t help the feelings I’m having for you, Mom. That is, unless you tell me that you don’t share my feelings at all. If you tell me to put my feelings away, if you tell me that you won’t ever be able to deal with them, then I’ll figure out how to deal with them and I won’t mention it again.”

“You haven’t said exactly what you’re feeling, David. What kind of feelings would you call them?”

“You really want to hear it, Mom?” David asked. “Romantic love.”

“Oh,” Nikki said. “I was afraid that’s what you’d say. But still, what does that mean, for us? Where does that go from here?”

“I’m glad you’re not freaking out and that you’re not telling me to put these feelings away and never mention them again.”

“No, I’m not. Neither of those. I’m sure I should be, both. But ... I’m not.”

“I’m glad. So, here’s where I’d like to go from here, Mom. I want to ... romance you. I want to act like your man. I want to make you feel loved and cherished, special and adored.”

“David, I ... David, no one has tried to make me feel that way in a long time. Honestly, since your father died, my marriages have been more matters of convenience than anything else. They’ve been more like business deals than relationships. That’s why their endings haven’t had a big emotional toll on me. They were both very transactional. No one has tried to ... romance me.”