Chapter 4: College Party

October 1, 1976, Shelly’s apartment

Shelly invited us to a small party at her apartment. Cindy and I arrived in “sibling mode” so that we could interact with others, without being seen as a couple. The event was low key. Rock music played in the background, while we met a number of Shelly’s acquaintances. Since the event was come-and-go, only ten or so people were in the apartment at any given time, however we met a roughly two dozen students, altogether.

I enjoyed myself, making small talk with as many people as possible. I flirted with as many pretty girls as possible, too. Shelly was a perfect hostess, offering drinks and ensuring that everyone had a good time. Cindy became a man magnet, with two or three sniffing around her for most of the night. She seemed to enjoy the attention.

The party ended at midnight and we helped Shelly clean up the place and returned home for our special time ritual. We were over-stimulated from the evening and worked it out of our system with a long and comprehensive sexual workout. We considered the evening a success: we both practiced social skills we might need in our jobs and we had an enjoyable time doing so.

The Mission Briefing

October 3, 1976

We met with Michael on the first Sunday of each month to report our activities and to receive any additional training instructions. During the September 5^th meeting, he simply instructed us to settle into the new house, begin classes and practice relationship skills with the students.

During the October meeting, he would give to a more comprehensive mission briefing. Michael was more formal than usual, standing before us while we sat on the couch and took notes.

“Your mission is to conduct practical social development and relationship-building practical exercises with the civilian population at Tarleton State University, for the purpose of establishing inconspicuous identities and learning how to develop human assets, while maintaining readiness for concurrent low-risk operations as ordered.”

“Your key tasks are to:

Maintain a household near the campus, without drawing undue attention,

Enroll and attend classes leading to Bachelor degrees,

Interact with all normal acquaintances in a manner so as to appear “normal,”

Develop friendships, leading to people trusting you,

Perform routine dating activities toward learning how to influence and seduce potential targets.”

We briefed Michael on our recent activities. He was satisfied with most, but not that all we had been doing.

“Derek, explain your rationale for bringing Shelly into your trust and providing her with details of your life, let alone why you performed that “educational exercise” on her. From what you said, it sounded reckless and could have ended in a complete mission failure, potentially requiring us to scrap this operation.”

“Yes, sir, I can see how you might come to that conclusion. I agree that I should have thought ahead by being more circumspect in my behavior with Cindy, and I should have anticipated and prepared for Shelly’s inquiries. At the time, I thought an honest approach with our relationship was most optimum, as I did not think that concealing the nature of our affection for four years was practical. Furthermore, I thought that by limiting my dating to low-key, low-commitment relationships would mitigate any jealous motivations to delve into our personal lives. Once Shelly became fixated on Cindy, I thought the best way to end the risk was to quench her curiosity by demonstrating and explaining the traumatic experience.”

Michael sighed in disappointment. “You better hope it remains resolved. Do not conduct any more “experiments” of this nature. If you encounter people becoming overly inquisitive about the two of you, you are to contact me immediately. I do have more experience in these matters than you do. For now, remain friends with Shelly to develop a more secure relationship to ensure that she keeps your conversations private.”

That did not go as well as I had hoped.

Learning to Be Two College Kids

October 1976, Tarleton State University

Cindy and I continued to establish our routine. Schoolwork was not very challenging, but it was time-consuming to complete.

We both also started hanging out with people from Shelly’s party. I played basketball with a few guys a couple of times. We were invited to some group activities such as going to the movies and attending school events. Cindy and I also went on dates with other people. I was determined to keep any dates casual. I rarely went on more than a single date with any girl and I kept our affection limited to “making out.” Cindy did not talk to me much about her dating, but she was always excited about going out.

One good benefit of Cindy dating was that she seemed less dependent on me. Sure, we still did all the things we had before, but she was spending more time without me, and, let me take care of myself when she was busy. I was a grown man with a lifetime worth of memories, after all. I could cook for myself and clean the house on occasion. But, in a small way, I did feel that I was losing some degree of my friendship with Cindy. We were not as close emotionally. She didn’t tell me about her days or how she was feeling. But I tried my best to stay strong and I reminded myself that this was good for her. She was becoming healthier mentally by not being focusing on me all the time. If I cared about her, I would encourage her new independence. The problem was, it was easier to decide how I should feel than it was to change my emotions.

One day Shelly dropped by the house to study Biology with me. No, not that kind of biology. I mean we were studying for our biology class. We had not resumed any romantic or sexual aspects to our friendship. But, in many ways, she was becoming my best friend.

“Derek, I haven’t see Cindy around here lately. Is everything okay?”

“Sure, everything is fine. She is simply exploring being social with people who are not her brother. I think it’s good for her.”

“Yes, it is good for her. But, how are you feeling? You don’t seem to be the same confident, content guy who asked me to dinner.”

“Like I said, I am very happy for her. But I do miss her being around me all the time, taking care of me, and keeping me company. While I never told her that I expected her to do all of those things, it was nice. And, I guess it made me feel good that I was so important in her life.”

“Does that mean you don’t feel important in her life anymore?”

I really did not want to think about that. I knew the answer but had been trying very hard not to admit it to myself. I am just a selfish dick. “Honestly, I’m not that important in her life right now. We have more of a roommate relationship. We are not emotionally close, and the sex feels more like pity fucks these days.” Shit. How sad is it that I need pity fucks now?

“Does Cindy know how you feel? Have you spoken to her about your feelings?”

“No. But we don’t have many opportunities to talk about stuff. She has a busy social life, and isn’t home that much. When she is at home, she stays pretty busy doing schoolwork and doing different tasks around the house. I don’t know if it is intentional, but she seems aloof around me now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. But, you know, there are several girls who would love to go out with you again, and would be very pleased to drain you of any sexual excess. You are a likable guy and good-looking. Do you want me to help you find a girl to take Cindy’s place?”

“Right, because that turned out so well last time. I ended up practically raping a girl and turning her into my personal sex slave. No, I’ve decided to limit how close I get to other girls. But, thank you for your concerns. I don’t think I could handle all this, if I didn’t have you to hang out with and talk to.”

“Derek, I am here for you. If you need someone to relieve your sexual stress, I will do anything you ask me. Or, just order me. You know I won’t resist. And as I recall, you didn’t “rape” me. I was quite willing and very satisfied afterward.”

Remembering what I had done to her, I felt more disgust for myself. I had one real friend, and I had degraded her to a degree that no one deserved. “I won’t ask that of you, ever. But please ... continue to be my friend.”

Black Bag Job

1:00 A.M. October 7, 1976, North Richland Hills, Texas

We had our first official team mission. It was not very glamorous, but we were on our own, unless we ran into trouble. The mission was simple: enter someone’s house and emplace listening devices. Someone else would monitor them. The target was in a suburb of Fort Worth, to the east. While I entered the house, Cindy was to remain in the nondescript car, provided by Michael, monitor the radio, and watch the front of the house, to make sure I wasn’t surprised by anyone coming in. Simple, right? What could go wrong?

“I can’t believe this came up tonight. I had a date with Dave. I have been wanting to get my hands on his muscles all semester.”

“Cindy, you realize that this is our job and that this is our whole purpose for being sent here? Now get focused, I am about to go in.” I left the car and walked to the front door.

No one was outside their homes in this sleepy neighborhood at this time of night. No cars were in front of the target house. So far, everything was going according to plan. I picked the lock and entered. A quick look in each room confirmed that no one was home.”

“Mother Goose, I confirm that the nest is empty. Preparing to lay the eggs, over.”

Cindy acknowledged by clicking the radio transmit button twice. I took twenty-five minutes completing my task. I gathered my gear in my bag and headed toward the door. Just as I started to make my exit, the door opened and some big redneck looked at me in surprise. I tried to jab him in the throat with my free hand, but he blocked me and tackled me to the ground. The guy was big, 6’2’’ and 220 pounds of muscle. I could tell that his hobby was getting into bar brawls. With his size advantage, he kept me from getting any leverage for several minutes, before I got him in a headlock and cut off the blood to his brain. The guy understood his dilemma and began thrashing around, but I managed to keep my hold. Just before he passed out, sudden, excruciating agony erupted in my left thigh. I scrambled away and saw a knife sticking out of my leg.

“Mother Goose, Condition yellow. Threat is neutralized, but I need immediate assistance.”

“Roger, I am on my way.”

Once we were able to get me back to the car, I told Cindy to get to a pay phone and notify Michael. Sometimes I really missed having mobile phones. He directed her to get me to an associate medical trauma team that was standing by during our operation. Cindy cut away my jeans and applied a pressure bandage to control the bleeding and took off. It took thirty minutes to get to the trauma team in Fort Worth.

The doctor and his EMT assistant confirmed that the knife caused no permanent or serious damage. I did not exactly agree with their assessment because I was in serious pain! They cleaned my wound, gave me a local anesthetic, sewed me up, explained how to care for the wound, wrote a prescription for antibiotics and pain medication, and wrote a doctor’s note for school. They instructed me to stay in bed as much as possible and to not go to class for a week. After administering a shot to reduce the pain, they let Cindy drive me home.

In the morning, Cindy asked me some questions so she could give Michael another report. He was understandably angry about how everything turned out.

I skipped classes the next day as directed by the doctor. I woke up at 11:00 A.M. alone and needing to piss. I pulled myself out of the bed and almost passed out from the pain. Where are my damn meds? I managed to get to the bathroom and emptied my bladder. Getting back in bed was just as difficult.

I waited until 1:00 P.M. for Cindy to come home to, hopefully, feed me something. But if she wasn’t home by now, then she ha stayed on campus to go to her next class. That class does not let out until 3:00 P.M. In desperation, I called the only person in town who I thought would help me, Shelly.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Shelly, it’s me, Derek,”

“Oh, hi, Derek. How are you doing?”

“Well, not so good, actually. I kind of stuck myself with a knife last night and I’m sort of bedridden. Do you think you could come over for a while and help me out?”

“Oh my god! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am okay. I just don’t know where my pain medication is and it really hurts to move. Getting out of bed is out of the question. I also haven’t eaten since dinner last night.”

After a long moment of silence, Shelly asked, “Why isn’t Cindy helping you?”

“I don’t really know. I woke up a couple of hours ago and no one else was here. I assume she went to class.”

“Hang tight and I will be there in ten minutes.”

“Thanks, Sherry. I owe you one.”

Sherry walked in five minutes later. She found my medication in a paper bag on the dining room table and got me a glass of water to swallow the pills down. My bandage was saturated with blood, so she changed the bandage and disinfected the wound. Then she made me some sandwiches to quiet my stomach.”

“Man, that hit the spot! Sherry, thank you, really. But if you need to go, I am sure that Cindy will be home in an hour or so.”

“Nope. I am not leaving you alone. I have plenty of homework that I can work on in the living room.”

Sure enough, 30 minutes later, I needed to piss again. Shelly helped me to the bathroom. When she refused to give me any privacy while pissing, I realized that she was getting a little payback. But, I found it difficult to get upset when I was completely dependent on her. After helping me back to bed, she went back to the living room while I dozed off.

Cindy showed up at 4:30 P.M. with a bag of hamburger and fries.

“Hi, Derek. I got you some food.”

“Hi, Cindy. Where have you been?”

“You know I had classes today. Then, I went over to Dave’s dorm room to apologize about canceling our date. It worked, too. He is taking me to dinner and a movie tonight.”

“You are going on a date, while I am unable to get out of bed?”

“I brought you food. You should be okay until tomorrow. Besides, after I canceled our date, what was I going to do, tell him, “no” again?

“Yes! You are supposed to tell him “no” when your brother can’t get out of bed and needs your help.”

Shelly walked in the room and said, “I’ll stay. But you are going pay me a hundred dollars. That is, if you think your date is too important to cancel.”

Cindy smiled, wrote out a check to Shelly, and started getting ready for her date.

I couldn’t believe it. Even with Shelly agreeing to stay, what did it say about how much of a priority I had become in Cindy’s life, if all she could think about was her date? Her teammate was wounded - and I still didn’t understand how the guy got to the door without Cindy seeing him and calling out a warning over the radio. If one of my teammates got injured, I was going to take care of him until someone told me to leave. What did Cindy do? She went to class, flirted with her boyfriend, and then agreed to go on a date. I started to become angry. I did not deserve this indifference from her. No one deserved it. You are supposed trust your teammates to cover your back, and if something happened to you, you trust them to take care of you until you are able to take care of yourself. It was a sacred duty and obligation.

I called out to Shelly to come to the bedroom. “Would you accept a thousand dollars, to stay with me for a week and help take care of me?”

She leveled her gaze at me. “I shouldn’t have to take care of you, since your sister lives in the same house. But, since she isn’t going to take care of you, a thousand dollars will be a nice boost to my spending money. But I will need to leave occasionally and she will be here when I have to leave to do something.”

I immediately agreed and pulled out ten one-hundred-dollar-bills and handed them over. I trusted Shelly. And I really did need her help. But my chest felt hollow, as I realized that I couldn’t trust Cindy. I couldn’t trust her to watch a door and I couldn’t trust her to look after me while I was too injured to take care of myself.

I thought about notifying Michael about Cindy’s change of behavior. But, I really didn’t want to get him involved, yet. But I needed to talk to her soon and try to get her focused back on the team. But right now I was tired, my leg hurt and I wasn’t in the mood. Okay, the fact was I just did not want to deal with it.

Shelly was a great care-giver. I paid her for a second week to be sure my wound could heal enough before I started moving around much. I missed a few classes, but after calling my instructors and sending a copy of the doctor’s note with Shelly, they made allowances for me to be absent. After that, I got around with a crutch that Shelly bought for me, and she carried my books to class for me, when her schedule permitted. I could tell that she would make a wonderful mother someday. A part of me felt a little sad that she would not be my children’s mother.”

You may wonder where Cindy was during all this. She was relieved that Shelly looked after me and withdrew another two-thousand-dollars from the bank to replenish my emergency cash funds. After that, I did not see much of her. Many of her date nights became all night events. When Sherry insisted that she cover for her, she would. But, even then, she didn’t really do anything for me. She didn’t fix me any meals or ask if I needed anything. She didn’t even stick her head in the door to see how I was doing.

And I was too pissed-off to say anything to her. I didn’t speak a word to her for two weeks and she didn’t even notice. It was during my recovery time that I realized that Cindy was not going to take care of me anymore as she had always promised.

My Second Date with Shelly

October 22, 1976, Stephenville, Texas

I arrived home on Friday, after classes, to find Shelly waiting for me in my front yard.

“Hi, Shelly.”

“Hey there.”

I let us in the door, got two glasses of water and sat on the couch with my friend.

Shelly looked at me, fidgeting nervously. “I think you owe me a favor and I want to collect.”

“Oh, I owe you? I don’t seem to recall any such transaction.”

“I think my services as your nursemaid deserves a bonus. But I am talking about you being obligated to service me after you ‘woke’ my passions.”

“Well, I certainly owe you. But I doubt you have to use up any favor IOU’s you may hold. What’s up?”

“Call it what you like, but you owe me, I am calling it in, and you are going to cooperate fully with my demands. Understand?”

I was amused. I liked when she acted all bitchy and demanding. “Yes, Ma’am. What is your desire?”

She laughed. “Funny you should put it that way. This is your itinerary for tonight. First, you will pick me up at my house at 7:00 P.M., Date Time. No arriving ten minutes early like you normally do. And stop frowning at me. You owe me and it won’t kill you to use Date Time on the person you claim is your only friend. All you have to do is to pretend that the date is ten minutes later than it is and you will be fine. Do you understand, so far?

Okay, I can convert it to Lombardi Time for my own peace of mind. Yes, I can do that. So the date is at 7:10 P.M. “I understand, 7:10 Derek time, 7:00 crazy-girl-on-date time. And I will still have to wait for you to be ready. Close enough?”

“Yes, he can be trained. Next, you will take me to a nice, but casual restaurant and you will provide all the boyfriend niceties like opening the doors and holding my chair for me. And if I need to use the powder room, you will stand as I leave and return to the table.”

“Certainly, Your Highness.”

“And then you are to take me to your bedroom. I will give you your last instruction with a kiss. You will interpret the kiss as a command that goes something like this, ‘Strip me, give me orgasms and then take your lusty urges out on me until either you can’t get hard or I pass out.’”

I blinked. “You want to have sex with me?

“No. I have had sex a couple of times this semester and I don’t want that. I especially don’t want that with you. I want you to take me. Oh, and my safe word is ‘pussycat’. Do you think you can fake being the handsome, confident and aggressive man that I used to know?”

“Are you sure? I mean, after what I did to you?”

“Of course, I’m sure. And if I didn’t like what you did to me, I wouldn’t ask you to do it again.” She poked me in the chest hard. “You woke up the desires and I don’t know anyone else who can do what you did. And even if I knew someone like that, I couldn’t trust them. While you may fuck the shit out of my pussy and asshole, leaving me crippled, and you might even make me your sex toy for the rest of my life, I know you will not injure me and you won’t force me to do anything that I don’t really want to do.”

How could I possibly respond to that? Of course I agreed. And my little head was dancing in joy and anticipation.

I arrived at her parking lot at 7:00 P.M. So I was right on time according to Lombardi Time (adjusted) and Date Time. But, since she really did deserve my best and had mentioned Date Time, I waited in my car until 7:05 P.M. which is right in the middle of the earliest and latest allowable arrival times. She answered the door in a sexy little-black-dress. A small jolt of pleasure shocked my prostate and radiated out. She winked at me and said, “You are five minutes late.” Then she giggled and admitted that she saw me waiting in the car. As she requested I opened the car door for her, and as we drove to the restaurant, I remembered special moments from our first date.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you holding my hand?”

I wasn’t even aware that I did it. “Sorry, I was just thinking about our first date. Does it bother you that I did that?

“Yes, Derek, it is a problem. I can handle being your friend, nursemaid, and even your sex slave for a night. But, if you keep holding my hand or anything else that is intensely romantic, I am going to fall in love with you. And then you will crush my heart. So please, no touching unless it is violent sex.”

I wanted to admit to her that I was fighting my feelings for her too. One moment of weakness would be all it took for me to fall in love. It was a really nice dream to picture life with my best friend, making love to her every night in tenderness and devotion. I can almost envision our children, who are happy because they have a nurturing mother. But then reality set in. My future only had room for two priorities: my job and my team.

So I pulled up my tactical playbook and chose distraction. “That dress looks really hot on you. I want to take it off with my teeth. What color are your bra and panties? Do they match?”

She looked pleased at the change in conversation. “Who says I am wearing any underwear under my dress?”

I glanced at her. “You aren’t wearing any underwear?”

She laughed, clearly enjoying playing the tease. “I didn’t say either way. A lady never discusses such things. There is only one way for you to find out.”

“Bribe some lady when you go to the restroom to spy and report?”

“No. You will have to possess me.”

I gulped. I was not sure who was doing the possessing tonight, but I was pretty sure I was going see if she was wearing a bra and panties.

Dinner was nice. We enjoyed the good food. They were very proud of their food if their pricing was any indication. I enjoyed her company and conversation, but this was not a magical date. She got to dress up and ate a free meal of good food. But I was careful to not touch her or give her any reason to think that tonight was more than two friends enjoying the same restaurant, followed by a vigorous release of built-up sexual frustration.

On the drive to my house, I kept trying to guess the color of her panties, telling her that I knew she was braless, just to mess with her head. I wracked my brain thinking of all the colors in the big crayon boxes.

“Are your panties wild strawberry with black, diagonal stripes pointing to your glory?”

“I don’t even know what color wild strawberry is. And what do you mean ‘pointing toward my glory’?”

“Wild strawberry is like a hot pink. I think you would look real hot in wild strawberry panties. And you know what your glory is. When I fiddle with it, you get all glorious.”

“Now you’re just making up words. I doubt that there is any such color as wild strawberry. But, no, I am not wearing pink panties.”

“No pink panties, huh? I know. You are wearing cerulean blue panties to bring out your succubus.”

“Did you just call me a sex demon who eats the souls of her lovers? Is that what you really think of me?”

“You are not a succubus; your eyes are. And yes, they suck the soul right out of me. If you had any feelings for my well-being, you would hide those baby-blues behind some sunglasses. But how about it? Blue panties? Oh, maybe they are shiny ones, with a bit of camel toe.”

“Keep your mind out of my camel toe and watch where you are driving.”

And then we arrived at my driveway. She was not shy now. She led me by the hand to my bedroom and told me to wait right there until she was ready. I was wrong, mostly. She was wearing a bra; her undergarments were red with black accents; but she did have a camel toe. Oh and then I noticed the weird necklace. Wait. That isn’t a necklace. That’s a dog collar! Oh FUCK! Why can’t I marry a woman like her? So, not fair.

And then she reached up to hold my head and she kissed me. It was a hard, demanding kiss. It made me want to please her, I would do anything for her. Playing the dominant asshole character for her was not that hard. Let’s be honest ... all men have a little of that guy in themselves. We just keep him suppressed most of the time.

I pulled her away.

“Move those naughty little hands of yours and take my clothes off.” And she began to undress me. I let her strip me down to my underwear. “Step into the middle of the room and show off that hooker underwear for me. Now spin around; I want to see that ass too. Good. Yes, I see that moist camel toe you are trying to show off, you whore. Now bend over and show off that cleavage, you cow. Oh yes, daddy is gonna fuck your titties. Yes, squeeze them together. Turn around and bend over. Now look at me over your shoulders. Don’t smile like some streetwalker trying to get a john; give me a sultry look, the look that says that my cock is splitting you in half, and I am gonna cum as you shiver in agony. Good. Now look at me between your legs. Oh fuck you’re hot. If you want to keep your underwear, you better take them off now, because I am going to rip them off.”

And then I lost control. There was no faking it like I had planned. My balls had been at a full tank since I couldn’t remember when. Tonight, I had been using all the self-control I could to avoid falling in love with Shelly, and now she put on her siren outfit and gave me a green light to take her and abuse her. There is only so much a man can take, before the lizard brain takes over. And Lizard Brain is the most selfish and meanest asshole out there. And some idiot just let him out of his constraints.

Lizard Brain (LB for short) tackled the poor girl onto her back on the bed, a split second after the lingerie came off, and his lizard tongue went straight to the focus of his single-minded determination. While the tongue was searching every crevice of her sex, lizard claw was feeling underutilized and headed toward her glory. Pinching, rubbing and flicking started causing the sacrifice to become unstable, and lizard tongue did not like that, so with all of his weight he crushed her into the mattress and started to get serious in his exploration.

And then she came. And he was pleased with the well pleasing odor of her sacrifice. And then she began to sing praises to LB with moans and groans. Thus satisfied with her cocksheath, LB drove south to the next exit and found another point of interest.

LB kissed and licked around her brown hole, treasuring every texture, noticing the lubrication she had applied earlier. He began to gently probe the entrance, careful to not frighten his prey. He was very hungry for prey. So he approached and then retreated. And when the time was right, he pounced and the LB’s tongue was inside, claiming his prize. And Victim came alive.

Then I woke up. I don’t mean that I was asleep; I mean that my pleasure center got tired of LB fucking around and wanted to start fucking around. So, he put LB back in his cage and woke up my frontal lobe. Okay I know this all sounds messed up and maybe a little schizophrenic. But sex does shit to my mind, and it gets fragmented in conflicts of lust versus reason; immediate gratification versus teasing; and getting off on pleasing a woman versus pleasing himself inside the woman.