Chapter 1

September 1980

“Tell me again.” The pretty girl begged me, with needy trust.

“I will take care of you. I will never send you away.” I spoke with the most intensity and honesty that I could, willing the truth to penetrate her needs.

This was not the first time I had said those words. The first time was years ago in The Before Time. Back when I was older and life seemingly was without meaning or purpose.

The Before Time

July 2016 Uvalde, Texas. Population: 16,000

Sitting in the bar of a chain restaurant, I drank a beer waiting for my food. “This is about as good as life gets for me these days.“ I thought. Over 50 years old, living on VA Disability and my wife finally gave up on me and divorced me last year. I don’t blame her a bit. I am hard to live with ever since I came back from Iraq. I lock myself in my room. I do not really talk to people, including my family. The diagnosis is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder with Depression. In vernacular: Life Sucks.

A pretty blonde lady, at least ten years younger than me, made eye contact. “Mind if I join you?” I noticed her attractive blue dress and black flats. As with all beautiful women, I enjoyed looking at her. She had nice blue eyes, emphasized by her light application of cosmetics.

Nodding my head politely I responded, “Sure. No problem.”

I scanned the bar area again, noting the escape routes, choke points and potential threats. Nothing to alarm me, I returned my attention to the lady. I revised my age estimate to mid-thirties.

“Hi. I’m Dana.”

“Hello, Dana, I am Derek. Are you meeting friends here for dinner?”

With a smirk she said, “Well I was looking for someone who looks like he could use some companionship. And that looks like you!”

Oh no. Not a prostitute. Hell, I did not think a small town like Uvalde, Texas even had prostitutes, let alone let them ply their trade in a family restaurant. I have never resorted to paying for sex. I was not starting now.

“Ma’am. Um, thanks but, I am not interested.”

“Not interested in what? Companionship? I think you are very interested.” She gave me a friendly smile that must have charmed a thousand souls.

“No, really. I don’t have any interest in your services. But, you have a nice day.”

A loud, boisterous laugh erupted from her mouth. “What? You think I am a whore?” More laughter. Tears began streaming from her eyes.

Okay. Maybe I misread this situation. And, if that was the case, I am not sure how to get out of this. Think. Think. Ah, tell the woman you are sorry. That always works. Beg, if needed.

“Ma’am, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe that I just called you a...”

Still laughing, Dana interrupted, “No. That’s okay. It was worth it to get a good laugh like that. Well worth it.

“Please, let me buy you a beer.”

“Only if you provide me with some companionship, um, I mean company. But don’t count on anything beyond that.” She wagged her finger at me and giggled.

We made small talk for a while; you know, the weather, the town, funny little stories. Really just nothing. She asked me if I was married. I told her about the ex-wives and how I missed my daughter. How I did not miss the cat. But then she got serious. “Tell me, Derek. What regrets do you have? Do you wish that you could have done things differently in your life?”

I do complain and fantasize about how I would live differently if given the chance, but now, the more I thought about it, I just did not want to think that way anymore.

“You know what, Dana? Everything I have gone through has made me who I am today. And, as much as I complain, I am just gonna accept who I have become and if not be content, well, at least be okay with who I am. I just don’t think I want to go down that road. True, I have two ex-wives, but I really did love them both. My daughter feels a little distant from me because of my anti-social attitude and lack of talking, but I am so proud of her and I can’t imagine a world without her in it. Even my deployment to Iraq, although it sucked big time and I became disillusioned, but I don’t think I want to just will myself back and remove those experiences. I am who I am because of those experiences, and well, it may not be much, but this is me.”

Dana paused a moment in thought, a little frown on her face. “Okay. Not exactly what I was expecting. I guess that is a good psychological attitude. But, I also suspect that much of your hesitancy is because you won’t wish a scenario in which your daughter was never born.”

“Yes, I love her.”

“Okay new game then, one that even stuffy you should be able to enjoy. The new game is you don’t relive your life. Your history still happened. You still have two ex-wives, an ex-cat, and a daughter. But you will become someone else. How about that? Any mental or emotional issues that will prevent you having fun with this game?

Laughing, I realized I really enjoyed her company. She was a lot of fun! “No, no problem with this one. So what year am I going back to?”

“Does it really matter? You will be the guy who already lived and you, that which makes you who you are, whether you call it your soul, or life-force or mind or whatever. That soul of who you are right now becomes someone new, in a child’s body, with new possibilities.” Her eyes glittered in excitement.

“And I will retain my memories and personality?”

She paused. “You will have access to your memories. And you will still have the same values, the things in life that are important to you, like loyalty, fidelity, truthfulness, fairness. You will still be you. But understand that behavior is also affected biologically. Hormones, health, and genes affect personality. And so, with a different body you may be more or less energetic; you may be more or less prone to anger. So I don’t want to mislead you.” She sounded so sincere. She must have an imagination that allows fantasy games to become almost real to her.

“Um, Dana. ‘Mislead me’ about the reality of your game? I don’t think you need to worry about being honest about some game that we both know is pure fantasy.”

Dana’s grinned at me with dancing eyes. Her blue eyes invited me to join her madness and silliness. And I began to like the idea of leaving my current life for one with more meaning. This fantasy appealed to me.

“Derek, in this game, I am going to give you a gift as a reward. What do you want most as a reward in this fantasy? What can I offer to tempt you to accept my offer and work for me and my associates?”

I really am not a bad man. Really. But I have read some naughty stories and well, you know, the guy gets a gorgeous girl to fulfill all his sexual fantasies and she has none of the real requirements (read baggage and maintenance) that real women in real relationships require. And, I was sitting next to an attractive and flirty woman. So of course my mind went naughty.

“A companion. A sexy woman to fulfill all my sexual desires. Are you volunteering?”

She chuckled. “I think we have been through this. I am not a prostitute. You are not screwing me tonight, and that is final! But ... I think I will agree to your request. As you recall I said I was looking for a man in need of companionship. And, did you notice the first word you called your sexual fantasy? You called her your “companion”. And that is what you will get. Great, it is agreed upon! You are to become this new person and I will grant you a woman to serve your every need and to grant you your every sexual wish. You will be her master!” Dana looked quite pleased with herself.

Wait. Did I just make a contract?

“What? What are you talking about? There is no agreement! We are playing a make-believe game. And I don’t want to be a master. Hey, we were enjoying ourselves, playing a fantasy game and now you’re making me nervous. Are you trying to sell me something? Listen, I am broke, whatever you are selling, or not selling, I am not interested.”

And of course she laughed her head off, mascara running down her face, slugging me in the shoulder like we were the best of buds. Finally, she got some control over herself after several attempts ending in giggles.

“Okay. The answer is yes and no. For now, I don’t care if you take this serious or as a game. Consider this ... a ‘recreational negotiation, ‘ she proposed with a wink. “I will offer you a ‘position’ in this game scenario. My associates and I will provide support and benefits and you will provide services. First, we have already agreed on your signing bonus. You get your girl slave who will provide for all your personal support and ‘needs’. She will take care of you, feed you, clean your house, wash, and iron your clothes and really anything else she can think of. And whenever you are feeling horny, she will gladly perform any sexual ‘services’ as well. She will be your submissive and you will be her master. Are we agreed as to the signing bonus?”

Smiling, I looked at her like she was the crazy person that she seemed to be. She may not be legally insane, but she was certainly loony. I supposed there was no harm in playing along, right? Let me think this through and, just to make this fun, let me honestly evaluate this.

“No. As much as this fantasy is nice as a fantasy, I really do not want to own anyone. And, I care too much about people to really get into this whole BDSM scene. A picture of a tied up slave may look sexy, but I have no desire to ignore any woman’s desires and needs so that I can get my rocks off. No. Sorry, but I am just not interested. I think you need to find someone else.”

She took a moment to look at me inspect my face as if I was an insect. She seemed to come to a decision and looked at me openly.

“I have a confession. I know more about you than I have let on. You were an army officer, Captain Derek White. You commanded a tank company, including half of your tour in Iraq. And as such you took care of your soldiers, didn’t you?”

This, I did not expect. She should not know this. While I was never involved in any covert operations, the army did not exactly publish its members service records.

“Who are you? What do you want?”

My eyes swept the room again, and looked out the to the main building entrance, through the front window, ensuring that my old Ford pick-up was in sight and appeared undamaged. I could not detect any obvious threats in or around the building. My hand rested on the bulge on my right hip, reassuring me that the Ruger LCP was accessible in my waistband holster.

She just looked at me, both amused and interested.

“Fine. I will play your game. Yes, as leaders we took care of our subordinates. That is, we ensured that they were fed, equipped, operating in as safe a manner as possible and basically looked out for them as much as we could. And yes, as a commander, I felt a special duty to provide for my men as much as I could, while protecting them as well. That was just good leadership. And, well, it was not just the right thing to do, it is the military culture. So damn right, I took care of my soldiers! But don’t you dare call a soldier a slave or submissive or anything! We each had our roles and our duties. While we were required to obey all lawful orders in our chain of command, we were not slaves to anyone, nor was anyone a frikkin’ master! Don’t go there.”

I was aware that I over-reacted. It happened when I thought about my men, the men I served with. We were family, damn-it. I may have been the “old man” at one time, but we were more than just different ranks, we were a family. And I would not let her sully my memory of them with some nasty sex slave analogy. There was no comparison at all!

With an effort she straightened her face. “I know that you are protective about the people you served with. I am sorry. I realize it seems that I am trying to skew the way you look at military submission as comparative to a sex slave signing bonus. But, I really am not. What I am trying to explain is that one aspect of your military attitude is relevant to how you should consider your relationship with the signing bonus.”

After a pause, I reluctantly signaled her to continue.

“You should know the basis of the relationship is one obligation on her part and two obligations on your part. She will require the two in exchange for the one.”

“This is where you tell me what you are selling? Really? Does this sales pitch ever work?”

“We will see.” Dana demonstrated that she was enjoying herself. “Would you prefer to hear her obligation to you first, or your obligations to her?”

I still didn’t trust her. And, why did she know my military record? But my instincts told me to remain alert and see where this conversation was going. Hell, I had not been around any people in over a week, and I did miss having friendly conversations. So, I laughed at this ridiculous sales pitch, and gestured for her to continue at her discretion.

“It is really quite simple. Her obligation is to serve you in whatever manner in which you deem best. And her demand for you is two-fold. You must take care of her. And, you must never send her away.”

I waited for her to continue or to give me the punchline. And I waited until she raised an eyebrow.

“So, I have to take care of her. What does that mean? And, I can’t send her away? Does that mean I have to get married? Because, marriage does not sound so much like a signing bonus as much as a ball and chain at this point in my life. Wait! You are not proposing to me, are you? You are going to, what did you say, “serve me in whatever manner I deem best’ if I marry you? No. Not interested!”

At this point I did not get the laugh, but, I have never seen anyone roll their eyes to that degree in my life. It was quite impressive.

“It is both simpler and more complex than you seem to be making this. And, you don’t have to think of this as a signing bonus; I am just trying to help you understand. Think about this with your ‘army’ mind. Your tasks will usually be tactical. And, no, I won’t go into specifics, because you don’t have any missions at this time, nor are you in the form you will need to be in, nor do you have the training. Really, the only description that I can say is ‘tactical.’ Understand so far?”

“Even in this fantasy universe thing we are talking about, I will not work against my government and I will not be a criminal. If you know anything about me, you should know that. My Officer’s Oath still has meaning to me. I will support and defend the Constitution against all enemies. Whatever my faults, don’t doubt my resolve to be faithful to my oath.”

“I know about your character. If I did not, we would not be having this conversation. I would only offer this woman to an honorable man. And I would not offer this opportunity to someone who was not devoted to his duty and his values. Your missions will often be government sponsored or endorsed. The other missions will be consistent with your values. For example, you may be assigned a hostage rescue mission. That would be consistent with your values, and, even if the government is not directly involved, you certainly will not be opposing the Constitution or anything so melodramatic.”

With my nod, she continued.

“Much like a military unit, you need support. Well, at least you will be much more effective if you have support. We have found that male/female teams are the most effective and that if the relationship is sexual, the team has higher morale, and the relationship is enduring. Which is why we include the girl. And, that is why we want her to “serve” you. Not so much as a slave, but, well, as a naughty, incestuous family member providing all your logistical support.”