Chapter 13: Beneath the Surface

-- SUNDAY, DECEMBER 9, 2007 --

“C’mon six ... c’mon six...” Eden chanted while shaking up the dice in her right hand.

“Ha, it’s a seven. You’re robber-bait!” I cheered.

“Dammit!” Eden sighed. “There goes my city.”

“You’re at eight cards yourself, Ben. Lose ‘em,” Eve Song pointed out.

I glanced at my hand and groaned. I hadn’t been trying to cheat or anything. I’d simply lost track and forgotten. Settlers of Catan wasn’t an overly complicated game, but there were a lot of rules for a relatively new player to remember. Still, I knew that the intent of the game was to reach 10 points, and since I was stuck at only 5 points myself, I figured I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning. It had been much more fun to try and stop Eden from winning, seeing as she was at 8 and threatening to go to 9.

So I silently cheered as Eden discarded half of her cards, and I obediently discarded half of mine as well. It was Eve’s turn next, and after rolling a five and picking up her clay card, June’s little sister turned to me and offered, “Two grain for your wood. That’ll replace the grain you lost from the robber so you can still get your city on your next turn.”

“Don’t do it,” Emma immediately warned me. “She’s trying to take Longest Road.”

“I am,” Eve admitted while giving me a friendly smile. “But a city for a road is a damn good trade. And if I take Longest Road away from Eden, she drops back down to 6 and you help me keep her from winning.”

I arched an eyebrow at Emma. “Aren’t those both good things?”

Emma sighed. “But if Eve gets Longest Road, she goes up to 9. And if she has a victory card stashed away in there, then she’ll win here and now. Game over.”

Eve shot my baby sister a dirty look.

“What?” Emma shrugged. “You think I’m gonna let you take advantage of the newbie so you can win?”

Eve stuck her tongue out and blew Emma a raspberry. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” She traded in three sheep to get her own wood, and turned in a clay card as well to set down a new road. That left her standing pat with her two grain and one remaining clay card.

Frowning, I studied Eve’s move, which put her longest road at seven to tie Eden’s. Not enough to actually steal the two points away, but it would only take one more road to do so, and I now realized that had I made the trade, she would’ve indeed had enough material to get the second road. Shaking my head, I admitted, “I think I’ve got the mechanics of this game down, but the strategy involved can be really complex.”

Emma grinned. “That’s why we love playing.”

“On the one hand,” I continued. “I’m not really in any position to win the game myself--”

“Never say never,” Eden mused.

“Well, not likely,” I maintained with a shrug. “But I’m still in a position to influence which of you wins. I mean, if I have to choose between Eve and Eden, well Eden IS my sister and--”

Eve waggled her finger. “Nuh-uh-uh. There’s no place for sibling favoritism in the game.”

“Fair enough.” I grinned. “But it still feels like I’m weighing my own self-interest while balancing my ‘in-game’ relationships with the three of you. It’s actually not so different from my romantic life at home.”

“You’re drawing an analogy between the game and juggling your multiple girlfriends?” Eden teased. “Trying to please all of them at the same time?”

“So you’re saying he’s susceptible to female persuasion?” Eve gave me a flirtatious smirk. “Hey Ben, what if I promised you the most amazing backrub if you’d trade me another wood?”

“Eve...” Eden warned.

I laughed. “I get plenty of backrubs whenever I want, thank you very much.”

“And what if I offered... more than just a backrub?”

“Eve...” Eden warned even more strongly.

“What? Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

Chuckling, I shook my head and shrugged at the pretty Chinese girl. “Your sister would castrate me if she ever found out.”

“Who says she’d ever find out?”

“No deal.” I grabbed the dice and prepared my own roll. “One thing I have learned is that you can’t please everyone all the time. Sometimes you have to just roll the dice and see what happens.”

Brooke, DJ, and Dawn came home from the gym just as I was packing up to leave. Their hair up in functional ponytails and wearing minimal makeup on their faces, they were nevertheless quite gorgeous and undeniably sexy, especially in their spandex sports bras and skintight cropped pants. Still, none of them wanted to plaster their sweat all over my clean shirt, so all I got were pecks on the lips in greeting instead of full-body hugs. That’s when DJ noticed that I was already carrying my messenger bag over my shoulder and the small roller suitcase had its telescoping handle up.

“Wait, you’re leaving already?” she complained. “It’s not even dinnertime!”

“Not even dinnertime on Sunday,” I pointed out with a shrug. “I usually leave before lunchtime on Saturday. I’ve been away from my family long enough this weekend.”

“We ARE your family,” Brooke drawled.

“You know what I mean.”

“But I’m horny,” DJ whined.

I gestured with my eyes back toward the living room. “You know the twins are here ... with a friend.”

DJ frowned and glanced behind me. “What, Eve? She already knows I’m banging you.”

I sighed. “You ladies have had me since Friday night. Seriously, I have to go home to my son, my baby mama, and my actual, ‘official’ girlfriends.”

DJ elbowed Dawn. “So make us actual, official girlfriends again.”

I popped my eyebrows. “Is that what you really want?”

Dawn frowned and looked thoughtful, but DJ shrugged and replied, “Well I wouldn’t mind. Not really so different a situation from Dayna.”

Rubbing my temples, I thought about it for two seconds before saying, “Look, that’ll have to be a discussion for another time. Seriously, I gotta go or I’ll miss my train.”

Whimpering, DJ stepped forward and kissed me again. She held my head and probed my lips with her tongue. When I let it in, she leaned into me, pressing her big boobs into my chest, sweat stains be damned, and started grinding her crotch against my leg with more than a little bit of urgency.

But I wasn’t about to let her seduce me into a bedroom. I really DID have to go, and if I didn’t cut her off now, I might never make it back to my apartment before it was time to go to work on Monday. Gently but firmly, I pried the horny blonde off my face and gave her a serious look that said ‘No‘. She pouted, but by then I’d already stepped up to Dawn to give her a more sedate kiss goodbye.

“I’ll see you next week. Probably a good idea for us to go to The City,” Dawn offered. “Maybe that way you won’t feel so torn between two places at once.”

I smiled and replied, “Actually, I’d appreciate that. Sasha was asking about you the other day. Says it’s been too long.”

Dawn grinned at that, but Eden (or was it Emma?) complained from somewhere behind me, “Hey, you’re not coming here next week?”

Turning back toward the living room, I called, “You’re always welcome to come to ME. Bye girls!”

The three teenagers at the dining table waved goodbye. I gave Brooke a big smile, nodded at Dawn and DJ, and finally escaped out the door.

Checking the clock on my phone, I whistled. I really would have to hustle lest I miss my train.

“Hey, Ben,” Sasha called as I walked through the door. She was nestled under Adrienne’s arm as the two cuddled on the couch watching TV. Adrienne didn’t even look up at me, engrossed as she was in whatever program they were watching.

Slipping off my shoes in the foyer, I first took my messenger bag and suitcase down the hall to my bedroom. Then, I returned back to the kitchen to find Kim puttering around making dinner while BJ sat on the floor just on the other side of the baby gate lining up his plastic Tonka trucks in a single-file line.

“Heya, little man,” I greeted while squatting beside him and stroking his head. “Miss me?”

My son looked up from his trucks and gave me a four-tooth grin. “Da-da!” he cheered enthusiastically, a drool bubble popping out from the corner of his lip.

I chuckled and raised the bib he wore around his neck to catch the drool rolling down his chin. “Can Daddy have one?” I asked, gesturing at the trucks.

BJ stared at the trucks for a few seconds, following my hand gesture, but I wasn’t totally sure whether or not he’d understood what I was asking. Still, a moment later he grabbed a red fire truck and held it up in front of me.

“Why thank you!” I said warmly as I reached out to take the truck, but before I could actually grab it, BJ jerked the fire truck away from me and trapped it against his chest. His possessive frown made his intentions quite clear.

I laughed and rubbed his head again. “That’s okay, little man. You can keep it.”

Kim came over to the baby gate just then and sighed. “BJ... share.”

Our son glanced up at his mother and pouted. “Mii,” he complained, his way of saying the word ‘mine’ without actually articulating the ‘n’.

“Share. Daddy will give it back to you.”

His eyebrows furrowed and looking for all the world like he’d rather do anything but share his trucks with me, BJ nevertheless looked at his trucks again and used his left hand to retrieve a blue tow truck. Still clutching the red fire truck to his chest, my son haphazardly tossed the blue tow truck in my general direction without looking and went back to playing with his other ones, turning his back to me and crawling on all fours as he drove the red fire truck directly away.

Kim sighed and shot me a helpless look.

“Thanks, Mommy,” I told her, holding up my blue tow truck. I puckered up for a kiss and she leaned over the gate to peck me on the lips.

“Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. Spend some time with him, yeah?” Kim suggested.

“Of course,” I replied.

“I mean it.” Kim gave me a sharp look. “Don’t let one of the girls steal you away for a 20-minute quickie. You know how they can get after going two nights in a row without Big Ben.”

I gestured toward the couch across the room where the backs of Adrienne’s and Sasha’s heads could still be seen, both of them intently pointed at the TV. “Kinda doubt that happening right now.”

Kim frowned but shrugged and turned back into the kitchen. In the meantime, BJ pulled a quick U-turn with his fire truck, pushed it right back at me, and started rolling it right up the side of my leg while making growling out engine noise sound effects.

“Vroom, vroom,” I growled myself, sending the blue tow truck after BJ’s red fire truck.

My son giggled, pulled his fire truck away, and quickly circled around behind me, forcing me to spin in place after him. He kept giggling, I started laughing, and I realized...

You really should do this more often.

I was just about to say that myself.

-- MONDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2007 --

June was gonna kill me.

After an exhausting Sunday night, I had an ‘ordinary’ Monday morning, which for me meant that I was late to work again. I’d claim that it wasn’t entirely my fault, since it was satisfying the demands of my ladies that made me late. I suppose I could’ve said ‘no’, but the girls had a point when they complained that I owed them for being gone all weekend. I didn’t have the heart to turn them down, so an on-time arrival at the office just wasn’t gonna happen.

Not that June was actually gonna kill me. All she really said was, “You’re late” as I wearily dropped into the desk chair in my cube.

Hell, I was too tired to even feebly explain anything about my girlfriend(s) not letting me get out on time, so June couldn’t even interrupt me by dryly stating her disinterest in hearing about it.

My lack of any verbal response must have piqued her interest, though, because she butt-walked her desk chair around the 42-inch high partition between us and into my cubicle area. Seeing that I had yet to even fish my laptop out of my messenger bag, she looked at me with an expression of honest concern before asking, “Are you alright?”

Blinking in surprise, I arched an eyebrow and sat up a little straighter. Her question had sounded sincere enough, but the tone of genuine interest was still weird to hear coming out of her mouth. “Um, yeah,” I muttered and took a deep breath. “I’m fine.”

She furrowed her eyebrows and scrutinized my appearance. Though no longer slumped so haphazardly in my chair, I still did not sit fully upright nor meet her gaze. Sighing, June canted her head to the side. “She said you were spreading yourself too thin.”

I blinked twice. “Who said?”

“Kim.”

“When?”

June shrugged. “Saturday.”

I frowned. “Care to elaborate?”

Shaking her head, June replied, “Not here. Doesn’t matter anyway. We’ve got work to do.” She turned and started butt-walking her desk chair back to her side of the partition.

“C’mon. You can’t say something like that and just walk away.”

Already back in her cube, June looked around her surroundings, shrugged, and replied, “I just did.” And then she turned to resume typing at her keyboard.

For about three seconds I thought about pursuing the conversation, digging deeper to figure out exactly what Kim and June had talked about on Saturday. But in those three seconds I realized that June had a way of NOT being forthcoming unless she felt like it, and I was honestly too tired to try fighting that particular battle right now.

So with one last sigh, I bent to fish my laptop out of my messenger bag, docked it, and started to log in. As wonderful and as varied and as perfect as my personal life was going, I still had a job to do.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” June sighed while poking at her Caesar salad.

“I’m not pressuring you, but is it so unreasonable for me to wonder what you and Kim said about me? You opened this can of worms with that comment this morning.” I forked another piece of my Chicken Romano and popped it into my mouth.

“Well you can ask Kim yourself when you get home. It’s not my place to speak on her behalf.”

“And I will ... when I get home. In the meantime, I can certainly ask you for your side of the conversation.”

“There IS no ‘my side’ of the conversation. I didn’t go over there to talk about you and your six girlfriends. I went over there for ... well... you know.” The way June blushed and averted her eyes made it obvious what she meant.

Taking a deep breath, I began, “First of all, I don’t have six girlfriends.”

“Dawn, DJ, Dayna, Kim, Adri--”

“Dawn and DJ don’t count. And neither does Kim, technically.”

“Whatever.”

“Secondly, even if talking about me and my girlfriends wasn’t your purpose in visiting Kim, a conversation about me and my girlfriends still took place.”

June shook her head. “You’re making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.”

“How am I supposed to know how big of a deal it should be if you won’t say a single word about what the deal is?”

Rolling her eyes, June sighed, set her fork down, and rubbed her temples. “Fine. Kim said that you were spreading yourself too thin. Whether you have three official girlfriends or six or nine or whatever, it’s more than most men have to deal with. She said she knows you’re doing your best to spend time with each and every one of them, but there ARE a lot of them and there are only so many hours in the day. All of these girls are used to sharing you, and used to you splitting your time amongst them, so no one is out and out blaming you or anything. But still, Kim believes that none of them feel like they’re getting enough quality time with you, and that lack of sufficient intimacy is starting to wear on them.”

Furrowing my eyebrows, I thought about all that for a moment before saying, “Kim TOLD you all that?”

June shrugged. “Oh, and she thinks you don’t spend enough time with BJ, either.”

I grimaced. “Okay ... well now I know it really IS a pretty big deal.”

June winced and immediately raised her hand palm out. “No, I don’t want you to go off thinking the sky is falling and you need to immediately take drastic action or anything. It’s not like Kim was out and out complaining or anything. This was one small part of a much larger conversation she and I had about many other topics. This just so happened to be one part of a topic that was relevant to you, and when I saw how tired you were slumped in your chair this morning, I thought about Kim’s comment about you spreading yourself too thin. That’s all.”

I shook my head. “It’s a big enough deal for her to say it to you, period. I’d rather try to nip the problem in the bud BEFORE it becomes a ‘sky is falling’ kind of big deal, you know? And to be honest ... I’ve noticed myself that things haven’t quite been peachy-keen in all of my relationships.”

June frowned. “But you always talk about how happy you are, how perfect things have been turning out for you.”

I winced and pinched my forehead. “Yeah, I should never say that sort of thing aloud. It’s usually when karma comes around to kick me in the teeth.”

“Are you not happy?”

“Of course I am. Everything HAS been turning out perfectly for me, and I’d like nothing better than for my life to stay status quo forever.”

June raised both eyebrows. “Weren’t you the one telling me that ‘status quo’ never lasts forever?”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I can’t try. What, you’d rather I deliberately sabotage my perfect life?”

June blinked. “You do if the ‘perfect life’ is just a façade, something that looks great on the surface, but ... well... beneath the surface it really needs fixing.”

“Right, right.” I leaned back against the booth and took a deep breath. “I suppose things HAVE been going a little too smoothly for a little too long.”

“So what, you agree that your perfect life is a façade? And that beneath the surface, something is rotten in the state of Denmark?”

“Well I wouldn’t go THAT far, but yeah, there’s really no such thing as a ‘perfect life’. Every relationship needs maintenance, and I’m doing my best to do that. So if Kim is actually telling you I don’t spend enough quality time with BJ – or with her, for that matter – then I’ve got some work to do.” Taking another deep breath, I smiled and reached over to pat June’s free hand. “Thank you for telling me. Better the problem I know about than one ... beneath the surface ... that I don’t know about.”

“You’re welcome,” June replied with a warm smile. But the smile lasted only for a moment before it disappeared and she gave me a look that could vaporize steel. “You can let go of my hand now.”

I chuckled, removed my hand, and we both returned to our meals.

“Look, Daddy’s home!” Seated on the sofa, Kim pointed toward the front door to direct BJ’s attention as he looked up from his spot on the floor amidst a dozen toy Tonka trucks.

My son looked up, smiled his four-tooth grin, and immediately cheered, “Joo!”

Kim beamed at my companion. “Hi, Auntie June.”

“Hey, kiddo,” June greeted as she kicked off her shoes and walked past me into the living room. She immediately knelt down at the edge of the rug and opened her arms while BJ got up and ran over to hug her. Scooping up the boy, June teased his nose with the tip of her finger for a second or two before setting him back down on the floor. “Go play.”

BJ obediently returned to his trucks while I came to a stop at the edge of the rug with my arms open and an expression of disbelief. “Hey! Where’s my hug?”

“Da-da!” As if only now seeing me for the first time, BJ got back up and toddled over as I knelt down and got a hug of my own. I ruffled my son’s hair and pivoted so he could sit in my lap. I wound up sitting cross-legged on the edge of the rug with BJ perched on my right thigh. He fumbled around for a moment before proudly holding up his favorite truck in front of my face, muttering, “Fyah Trug.”

“That’s right: Fire truck,” I agreed. I knew better than to try and take it. He was only showing me his fire truck, not offering it.

BJ scrambled out of my lap and hurried over to the rest of his trucks. Without bending his knees, he stooped at the waist and picked up a familiar tow truck. Running back to me, he presented me with the tow truck and this time I took it from his hands. “Thank you. Blue truck.”

“Boo,” he mimicked.

“It’s blue, that’s right,” I agreed with an exaggerated nod.

BJ beamed at me, proud of his accomplishment, and then turned and ran back to the rest of his toys.

Kim smiled down at me before glancing at June. “Can you two stay and play with him? Or do you have work to do?”

“Work,” I replied with a sigh. “Mondays.”

“We can do our work after dinner,” June suggested. “Nothing critical.”

“Great!” Kim said enthusiastically. “Dinner’ll be done in thirty minutes. Just us; the ladies went out tonight.”

I nodded and crawled after BJ. There were several ramp sets that were actually meant for Little People cars, but they worked just fine for his Tonka trucks, and I pulled a couple of them out of the toy bin to set on the floor. BJ’s eyes lit up, and he promptly began growling various “vroom” noises while racing his trucks up and down the ramps. He got even happier when I started chasing his trucks with my blue tow truck.

June, meanwhile, got up and headed into the kitchen after Kim. I heard them start chatting about the meal and more or less tuned them out. Over the next thirty minutes I did listen in every now and again just to see if they were talking about something juicy, but each time the topics were of no interest to me.

Eventually, the four of us settled around the dining table to eat. Kim focused on feeding BJ while June got us started on our work discussions. A half-hour later, Kim bathed BJ while June and I holed up in my room to finish the rest of our work. And an hour after that, June patted BJ on the head goodbye, pecked Kim’s cheek, and gave me a sort of shy wave before leaving the apartment.

I carried BJ into Kim’s room and put him in his toddler bed. He picked out a book for me to read to him and I sat on the floor leaning back against the bed frame, reading the exact same Sesame Street book I’d read to him every weeknight of last week. And when I was done, I kissed my son’s forehead goodnight, let his mommy kiss him eight or nine times all over his face, and we parents walked through the open Jack-N-Jill bathroom to my bedroom, leaving the doors open so he could hear us talking as he fell asleep, but without needing the crutch of having one of us in the room with him.

Usually, it worked.

“So how was your day?” Kim asked me once we settled on top of my bed, a typical question she used to jump start a dialogue that would keep our voices loud enough for BJ to hear. We usually only needed to keep it up for ten minutes or so before he passed out.

“Had an interesting conversation with June at lunch, actually,” I replied. “She told me you thought I was spreading myself too thin.”

Kim frowned but shrugged it off. “Well, you are.”

“That none of my, quote, ‘six’ girlfriends is getting enough quality time with me, and the lack of sufficient intimacy is starting to wear on them.”

“Well, it is.”

“Including you? Do we not have enough intimacy? We did have sex last Monday. Normally going a week without hasn’t been such a big deal to you, but if it is, you know you’re perfectly capable of approaching me whenever--”

“Typical Ben,” Kim interrupted. “Always thinking it’s about sex. It’s NOT about sex. I get enough sex; really, I do. Believe it or not: women the world over do just fine having sex once a week or less, sometimes a LOT less.”

I snorted. “Not the women in this household.”

“True,” Kim conceded. “But sex isn’t the problem, and I thought you knew better than to confuse sex with intimacy.”

I sighed. “I’m not confusing it, but I just wanted to make sure you were getting enough.”

“Getting enough sex.” She shook her head. “NOT the first thing you should have asked about.”

“Intimacy? Quality time? Do you want me to take you on a date?”

Kim shook her head. “I have no need for romance.”

“But you don’t think you’re getting enough quality time with me.”

Kim sighed and stared at the wall for a second. “I’m fine, actually. I wish you’d spend more time with BJ, sure – tonight was a good step in that direction – but I’m not trying to make this about me. You’re the father of my son, not my husband.”

“Even though you call me ‘shujin’.”

“That’s an endearment, but I don’t have the same expectations of you as I would of a true husband. Nor do I have the same expectations an official girlfriend would have.”

“Then it’s about my official girlfriends: Sasha, Adrienne, and Dayna.”

Kim nodded. “This isn’t like casual dating out in the real world, where people spend the majority of their time doing their own thing with their own friends and only get together once a week. You LIVE with two of them, and Dayna’s pretty close to a live-in girlfriend, and yet you rarely spend any significant amount of time with them.”

I frowned. “I share beds with all three of them multiple times a week.”

“Annnd you’re back to sex again.” Kim sighed. “Hours spent unconscious spooning on the same mattress – and hours spent banging each other’s brains out – don’t count as ‘quality time’, at least not in the sense I’m trying to get you to understand.”

“You mean taking them out on dates.”

“I mean dates, but I also mean just sitting on the couch having a conversation. I mean quality time. Hell, I think Dayna would settle for sitting next to you holding hands while you watch Conan together.”

“So Dayna’s been complaining to you.”

Kim shook her head. “None of them are complaining, but things aren’t very far off. I didn’t expect June to say any of this to you. Originally, I’d planned on doing other, smaller things to try and get you to come to this realization on your own without resorting to me having to TELL you. Lessons are always learned better that way, but here we are.”

I pursed my lips and frowned. Taking a deep breath, I collected my thoughts and began nodding as I slid closer to Kim and wrapped my arms around her for a hug. She let me embrace her and set her cheek down on my shoulder while I rubbed her back. And with a sigh, I said apologetically, “I’m sorry. I really haven’t been spending enough quality time with you, and don’t argue with me that you’re ‘fine’. I know you put up with a lot from me, but just because you can doesn’t mean that you should.”

Sighing as well, Kim tightened her grip around my midsection and nuzzled her cheek against my shoulder. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

Sliding my hands up to her cheeks, I guided her head upright and lowered my own so I could look into her eyes. “There’s no time like the present. It sounds like BJ’s fallen asleep, and we have a big empty apartment all to ourselves. Why don’t we go back out into the living room and cuddle on the couch? We can have one of those ‘conversations’ you say we don’t have enough of and you can tell me more about your day and last weekend and everything else we haven’t had enough time to talk about.”

Giving me a rueful grin, Kim nuzzled her nose against mine side-to-side before backing away and turning the motion into a negative shake of her head. “I’ve got dishes to clean and laundry to fold.”

“Dishes and laundry can wait.” I arched an eyebrow and gave her a teasing look. “I could always order you to put off your chores and spend some time with me.”

Kim blushed and averted her eyes, staring downward. I noticed a subtle change in her posture, and suddenly realized that my joking remark had actually struck something inside her. After all, we really hadn’t had sex since last Monday.

“First position,” I stated in a low but firm tone. I corrected my own posture, stiffening my spine and holding my head erect while gazing down at her.

My lithe, pretty Japanese baby mama smiled as she sat up straight and drew her legs beneath her body so that she knelt on top of her heels. Her smile broadened as she thrust her chin outward and clasped her hands together with fingers straight up and her thumbs touching her chest as if praying. And she gasped before whimpering in delight as I abruptly took her into my arms, dipped her to the side like they do in the movies, and gave her a sweet, tender kiss.