Chapter 35: Good and Bad

December 12, 1986, Chicago, Illinois

Julia was just about to wrap up a special staff meeting, which included Tom and Debbie on speaker phone.

"As the last item for our staff meeting, Steve has an announcement."

"All of you have been instrumental to the success of NIKA Consulting and have worked hard this year. I wanted to find a way to say 'thank you' in a meaningful way, and because actions speak louder than words, I'm handing each of you an envelope with a check for $250 as a Christmas bonus. Tom and Debbie, I'll mail yours to you at lunch today. Thank you all, and I look forward to another great year!"

There was a general cheer and repeated thanks from everyone. Julia finished the meeting, and I called Dave into my office and shut the door.

"Dave, your work in Waukesha has been outstanding, and NIKA wants to recognize that in the only way it can."

I handed him an envelope.

"What's this?"

"A bonus equal to 10% of your current salary," I said.

"Damn! Seriously?" he asked.

"Yes. Seriously. There's no profit sharing until after our third year, but Joyce suggested that we give you a discretionary bonus and I certainly didn't need any convincing!"

"Does Julia know?"

"No. Only Joyce, Elyse, Stephanie, and I know about it. You can tell Julia yourself."

"I don't know what to say other than 'Thanks'."

"That works for me. I couldn't have done this without you."

We shook hands and Dave went into the next office to tell his wife about the bonus. I heard a squeal of delight, and a minute later, Julia was giving me a tight hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks," she said.

"You're welcome. Dave really earned it. He's knocked it out of the park, managing the Waukesha account. I just wish we could do more."

"Are you kidding? Our combined salary, plus the bonus, is more than comfortable. And we're vesting our stock grant. And we'll get profit sharing in a couple of years. Let's just keep this going!"

"Deal!" I said. "Just remember the downside here — we have twelve months to find enough replacement revenue for Waukesha to keep Tom and Debbie employed."

"Speaking of which, your sister will be here at 2:30pm so that you can meet the two finalists for Zeke's old job. Once he's full time on installation and on-site support, that will free up Mario and Cindi to do even more selling."

"Good. What about the programmer?"

"I wasn't happy with any of the résumés," Dave said. "Either way, too much experience and so out of the salary range we can afford based on the proposal, or no relevant experience."

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Assign Charlie to the project," he said. "She knows Prime Information, so A-Rev should be a slam-dunk for her. We'd replace her with a BASIC programmer or someone who knows dBase really well."

"Did you have anyone in mind? Or did we have any résumés on file with the right skills?"

"We do have one that was sent unsolicited about a month ago. Someone who graduated from UofI in the Spring. The cover letter said that they wanted to move back to Chicago, but at the time could only find a job in the Quad Cities."

"I don't like the idea of such a short time on a job, but I can easily see how that could happen. You have to take what's available when you graduate. Go ahead and call him."

"Her," Julia laughed.

"It figures!" Dave grinned. "Steve is like a magnet for female programmers!"

Julia smirked, "Both of the final candidates for the support role are female this time, believe it or not."

"I know that I'm stereotyping, but I can't imagine either of them worked at RadioShack or a stereo store," I said.

"No, I went a different route this time. One is a paralegal, and the other is a receptionist in a doctor's office."

"And we can afford them?" I asked.

"Believe it or not, both of those positions are pretty much at the bottom of the pay scale in those professions."

"That's a great idea, then," I said. "Speaking of which, I don't know why we haven't been talking to Doctor Barton and Jamie about the software more. We should probably try to set up a user group or something like that, so we have group discussions about the software. But that's probably something for Cindi to set up and run, given she's handling sales and support."

"Zeke would be great for that," Julia said.

"Talk it through with Cindi," I said. "She needs to have the final say."

Dave and Julia went back to work, and I got into my zone until lunch. It was far too cold to take Jesse to the park, because with the wind-chill, the temperature was near 0°F. Instead of taking a walk, Jesse and I ate lunch with Beverly, and then I read to him. I even tried skipping a page in Fox in Socks and he protested immediately. When I finished reading to him, I kissed him on the forehead, handed him back to Beverly, and headed back to work. Jesse had seen Francesca at playgroup the day before, so he didn't protest too much.

When I walked into the office, Kaitlin got up from her desk and threw her arms around me, and hugged me tightly.

"Thanks for the Christmas bonus! It's like an extra week's pay!"

"You're welcome," I said, gently disengaging from the firm, sexy body that was plastered against mine.

She smiled, leaned in, and kissed my cheek, and then went back to her desk. I smiled and headed to my office. That brief hug had set my mind on a dangerous path, wondering what she'd be like in bed. I pushed those thoughts away and sat down at my desk. I worked on a new module for the legal software that allowed citations to be cross-referenced through the entire system until 2:25pm, when I saved everything in anticipation of our first interview of the day. Stephanie arrived in my office a minute later and sat down.

"How was class today, Squirt?" I asked.

"Boring as usual. I'd learn way more by just working full time, but I know you won't let me do that!"

"You'll be so much better off with an MBA from UofC, not to mention more useful to NIKA. It's like Penny or me. We could easily do our jobs without degrees, but why not get one if you can?"

"I heard that you arranged a scholarship for her."

"I did. She demanded that I allow her to fuck me unconscious so that she could thank me. I politely declined."

Stephanie laughed, "There are quite a few girls around here who'd be more than happy to do that, including your gorgeous receptionist."

"Now you sound like Elyse," I chuckled. "She keeps teasing me about Kaitlin."

"Tasha wants you, too," my sister smirked.

"And again, she works for me. If for no other reason than that, no!"

"I think Penny is right! You just aren't nearly as much fun as you used to be!"

"Fine. I'm a boring old fart. Happy now?" I said with a smile.

"You know, it wouldn't hurt you to bend your rules a bit," she said.

"Let's just focus on business, shall we?" I said.

Kaitlin came to the door of my office and announced that our first candidate, Barbara Jaworski, had arrived. I asked Kaitlin to show her in, and she went back to reception. Less than a minute later, she was ushering a cute, platinum blonde girl into my office.

"Steve and Stephanie, this is Barbara," Kaitlin said, flashing me a smile before going back to her desk.

I let Stephanie conduct the interview, only stepping in when she seemed to be losing her way in the conversation. She did a reasonable job, and I was satisfied that we had a good picture of Barbara's skills. Stephanie took her to meet Charlie and then came back to my office.

"What do you think, Squirt?" I asked.

"She's every bit as hot as any of your other girls. I'd go for it!" she giggled.

"Don't even joke like that!" I commanded. "We could get in more trouble than you can even begin to imagine. This is serious, Squirt. If you can't be serious, you can't do this. Do you hear me?"

She looked down at the floor, "Sorry."

"Just learn from it. So, now, what did you think?"

"She's smart, articulate, and organized. She can certainly do the job. She knows how a doctor's office works, and that's a big plus. She's absolutely someone we should consider hiring."

"I concur. We have another one in about thirty minutes."

About thirty minutes later Kaitlin interrupted a conversation. Stephanie, and I were having about one of her assignments for business class to tell us that our other candidate, Kimberly O'Shea, was here. I nodded, and she was back a minute later with a striking redhead with green eyes.

"Steve, Stephanie, this is Kimberly," Kaitlin said, once again flashing a smile before she went back to her desk.

As I had with Barbara, I let Stephanie take the lead and twenty minutes later, she took Kimberly to Charlie. I asked the same question as I had before, and this time, got a proper answer.

"I'd say Kimberly is slightly better than Barbara, but I think Barbara's medical office knowledge is more valuable than Kimberly's paralegal knowledge."

"I agree with you," I said. "When Cindi asks your opinion, just tell her exactly what you told me."

"So she makes the final decision?"

"Yes. I only need a veto and I don't have any objection to either of them, so no veto."

"If it was up to you, which one would you hire?"

"Barbara," I said.

Kaitlin came to the door and let me know I had a phone call. Stephanie asked with her eyes if she should leave, and I shook my head. I took the call, and two minutes later, having only asked a single question, I said how sorry I was, and replaced the handset in the cradle. I simply stared at the wall in stunned silence, tears welling up in my eyes.

"How bad?" my sister asked, moving to stand behind me with her hands on my shoulders.

"She's going to die, Squirt. And nobody can fucking stop it," I sighed, as tears dripped down my cheeks.

"That was Jason?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

"What did he say?"

"That the cancer had come back and spread to her other organs."

"You asked 'How long?'. What did he say?"

"Six months to a year," I sighed, then screamed, "FUCK!"

"You're done working for the day, Big Brother. Let me go tell Julia, and then I'm taking you home to Kara."

She was gone for less than a minute then helped me put on my Winter coat, hat, and gloves and put her arm around me and walked me home. It was so cold that the tears were turning to ice almost as quickly as they dripped onto my coat. When we arrived at home, my sister helped me take off my Winter gear and called out for Kara.

"What's wrong?" Kara asked, coming into the foyer.

"Stephie," I sighed.

"It's bad, Kara," Stephanie said.

Kara took me by my arm and led me to the Indian room where Bethany was sitting.

"Tell us," Kara said.

"Six months to a year," I said. "It's spread to her liver and pancreas."

"Stephie?" Bethany said, jumping up to hug me.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Red called me a few minutes ago. Stephanie brought me home."

"I know you well enough to know you're planning something," Bethany said.

"To go see her, obviously," I sighed. "Once she's had some time to process the news."

"Who the hell are you and what did you do with Steve Adams?" Bethany asked with a gentle laugh. "The Steve Adams I know would already be in his car on his way to Dawsonville."

"She's not mine to take care of, Bethany. As much as I want to, as much as every urge I have is to do what you just said, it's not my place. I gave up that right when I let her go to Jason. I love her so much and she's going to fucking die and I can't do a damned thing about it."

It was at that point that it finally hit me hard. It was no longer just tears, but full-on sobs. I collapsed onto the pillows on the floor and bawled like a baby. Someone, I assumed it was Kara, lay down next to me and put their arm around me and held me while I cried. I wasn't sure how much time passed, but eventually I managed to get control of myself, at least enough to sit up.

"Have some tea, Snuggle Bear," Kara said, as she sat up as well.

She handed me a mug of Earl Grey and I sipped some, then took the offered tissues and wiped my eyes and blew my nose.

"Thanks," I said.

"We're supposed to leave for Indianapolis in about thirty minutes. Do we need to call Jess and change our plans?"

"I don't know," I said. "I don't know anything right now. First Birgit. Now Stephie."

"Steve," Bethany said gently, "You didn't cause this. Things like this happen, even to sweet, wonderful people. Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about? It's not going to change anything!" I whined.

"Not for Stephie, for you. YOU have to be strong, not just for her and for Jason, but for your family. What's going to happen to Kara, Jessica, Jesse, and Elyse and her baby, if you sink into depression? What about your business?"

"Fuck you!" I growled angrily.

"Good," she soothed.

"Good?" Kara asked.

"When he says that, it means he's acknowledging that I'm right, but that he's not ready to accept it and internalize it."

"You're a real bitch, Bethany," I growled. "Can't I mourn? Can't I cry for my friend?"

"Yes, of course, but it can't consume you and you know it! You admitted that when you said that she's not yours to take care of! And slipping into depression is not that answer!"

"That's a little harsh," Kara said.

"Kara, I know him. I know how he reacts. Think about how Elyse deals with him when he seems to be sinking into a funk."

"Besides fucking him out of it?" Kara giggled.

"Yeah, besides that. I don't have THAT option. And I don't think it will work at this point. Or at least not on this issue. This one isn't about sex, it's about his heart being ripped out and stomped on by the Fates. Jennifer has first-hand experience with this, from when he lost Birgit. At least he didn't faint when Jason told him about it. And Stephanie, too, but she can't help him in the same way that we can."

"And how is that?" Kara asked.

"You and Jessica need to love and support him. Try to keep him focused on things that he CAN control and things he's responsible for. I can talk with him as his friend and tell him the harsh truths that a wife or sister can't."

"Gee, thanks," I replied tersely.

"Look, Mr. Adams, somebody has to kick your ass! It can be me or Sofia, because neither of us is tied to you like your wives, your sister, or Elyse. Your relationship with Elyse HAS to change because you're having a kid together. There are two women who've been your best friend at one time or another that don't have to worry about romantic entanglements."

"Or sex," Kara teased.

"Or sex," Bethany agreed with a smile. "So, take your pick, Steve. But know one thing for sure — none of us are going to let you become clinically depressed. Got it? Just how much good do you think you'll do Jason and Stephie if you go see her and you're a depressed basket case? All because you're feeling sorry for yourself as much as you are for them!"