Chapter 26: Restoration

September 5, 1986, Chicago, Illinois

"What are you reading?" Elyse asked, coming into the Indian room after I arrived home from karate.

"Red Storm Rising, by Tom Clancy. He wrote the submarine book I read before, The Hunt for RED OCTOBER."

"What's the book about?"

"So far, the Russians are plotting a surprise attack on NATO and creating maskirovka — political cover — for the operation by bombing the Kremlin."

"Why would they do that?"

"Muslim terrorists blew up the main Russian oil processing facility and the entire Russian economy would have collapsed. To avoid that, they decided to invade Europe."

"Speaking of that, I just heard on the news that a Pan Am flight was hijacked at Karachi International Airport in Pakistan by some Abu Nidal faction terrorists."

"Shit. Again?"

"CNN just reported that the Pakistani forces stormed the plane after the terrorists started shooting people."

"The world is going to Hell in a handbasket," I said. "Plane crashes, hijackings, assassinations, and scandals."

"How about we go upstairs to see if we can forget about the world for an hour and see if we can make a baby!" Elyse requested with an inviting smile.

"I suppose I could put my book down," I grinned.

"I hope you don't find that book more exciting than sex with me!"

"Not at all!" I grinned.

I put the book down, took her hand and led her up to her room where we made love twice, then cuddled together afterwards.

"Did you ever pick out girls' names?" I asked.

"No. This is going to be Matthew," she said.

"You think that you're pregnant?" I asked.

"It's about twelve days until my period is supposed to start, so we won't know until then, but something just feels different."

"That's what Jennifer said, and I kind of discounted it as wishful thinking. But it turned out she was right."

"Don't you think a girl would know?" she asked.

"I have no clue!" I said. "Of all the mysteries of the universe, the female Homo sapiens is the biggest!"

"True. Men are simple. A beer and a blowjob will pretty much get you anything you want!" Elyse giggled.

"Or a Reds game?" I chuckled.

"That night in the hotel at Aunt Jennie's wedding. Let's just say I had no idea that we'd end up here trying to make a baby seven years later!"

"You've pretty much been my rock for the past five years," I said. "And even before that, you were a very good friend."

"I should never have stopped fucking you!" she declared. "I missed out on a whole year's worth of orgasms!"

"You were dealing with the whole Sean thing," I replied. "But you remedied that as soon as we moved to Chicago. That was quite the surprise."

"But it made sense, didn't it? We'd been dancing around the topic for a year. Living in close quarters would have driven us both nuts. So I decided to take the shortest, simplest route."

"That is you," I said. "Including a couple of marriage proposals along the way."

She laughed softly, "That was never going to happen. But it did make sense for me to ask."

"I seriously considered it," I said. "But in the end, I think we found the best solution. Speaking of the apartment, have you heard from Eduardo?"

"He's back in Spain, as he had planned. He finished at Wharton in the Spring and left for Seville."

"Did he get a job?"

"He did, with a management consulting firm in Madrid. He wrote me the name in a letter. It's some Swiss company. If you open the drawer of the nightstand, you can get the letter and see the name."

I reached into the drawer and extracted a pale yellow envelope with a Spanish stamp on it and handed it to Elyse.

"There's nothing private in here. He's the least likely person on the planet next to you to write me a mushy letter!" she said, taking out the letter. "It's called Egon Zehnder."

"Never heard of it," I said. "But then again, I wouldn't expect to."

"They have offices all over the world, including in New York and Chicago," she said.

"Would you date him again if he came back to the US?" I asked.

"I'll worry about that if it ever happens! I hate to say this, but I probably need to let you go to your wives. I miss sleeping in your arms, but I understand their position."

I kissed Elyse, we got out of bed, and then went to her shower. We had a nice, intimate shower with quite a few kisses and lots of laughter. When we finished, we dried off and dressed. After another kiss, we left the room so that I could find my wives.

"What's the plan for tomorrow?" Jessica asked as I walked into the Indian room.

"Breakfast with the guys, karate, and a couple of hours of work. After that, I'm all yours!"

"Who's coming on Sunday?" she asked.

"Dave and Julia are away for the weekend, so not them. We did say it was going to be casual, so whoever else drops in is cool. But it's only couples that were invited. Hopefully, Karl will bring Ginny and the kids. I invited Carol and her husband, so Jesse might have a date!"

Kara laughed, "Jesse and Francesca are so cute together. Do you think that her family will show up?"

"I doubt it," I said. "I can't imagine her husband agreeing to come here from what she said. But I had to try. Bethany has been talking to Carol, but it's only been a couple of weeks."

"Is Carol still hitting on you?" Jessica asked.

"Not as much because I've been taking Penny, Charlie, or Tasha with me. Carol is way more circumspect about it with the younger girls there. But she still does the touch-the-arm thing and the hair-flip thing. If Jesse weren't so enamored with Francesca, I'd avoid Carol completely. Hopefully Bethany can have a positive effect."

"I've seen those moves with nurses and medical student flirting with doctors," Jessica said. "Be careful."

"He is, Jess," Kara said, coming to my defense. "She's married, and he's not going to break that rule. That's why he's taking the girls with him. He's been very, very good and is exercising self-control."

"I've seen girls wear men down," Jessica said.

"Jess, of all the people who shouldn't trust Steve, don't you think that I'd be the foremost? He actually cheated on me!"

"Sorry," she sighed. "Steve, I apologize. You have been well behaved. I guess the Emergency Medicine Sub-I is really wearing on me. Five weeks down and three to go. And then I'm gone again for a month. I'm just cranky."

"It's OK, Babe," I said. "We're all working through this together. And this is good practice for next year when you start your Residency."

"You are both going to hate me by the end of the first year," she sighed.

"Never!" Kara and I both said together.

"Do you girls want to see a movie tomorrow night?" I asked.

"I checked the show times," Jessica said. "Reform School Girls, Friday the 13th Part IV, and She's Gotta Have It? No thanks! Talk about a bunch of stinkers!"

"You saw Stand by Me last night with the girls?" I asked.

"Yes," Jessica said. "That was pretty much the only decent thing showing. What if we go for Thai food and a carriage ride through the park?"

"Deal!" I said.

"Did Elyse wear you out?" Kara smirked.

"No. This is a very different Elyse. She just wants to make love and make a baby. Nothing crazy. Not even a lot of exertion."

"I could use that," Jessica sighed. "Just slow and sweet."

"Then, my lovely wives, let's go to dinner, have our carriage ride, and then make love!" I suggested.

September 14, 1986, Chicago, Illinois

"Are you ready for this talk today?" Kathy asked when she and Kurt arrived.

"I am," I said.

"Just listen to her," Kathy said. "She has a lot to tell you."

I nodded, "OK. But I'm not blameless in this whole mess."

"No, you aren't. But today isn't about you, Steve. It's about Bethany. Let her get it all out. She may say some things that will shock you, and some things that may upset you. Just keep calm."

"What are you trying to tell me?" I asked.

"Nothing. Bethany will tell you. Just hold it together for her."

I HAD been confident that I was ready for the talk with Bethany, but now I wasn't so sure. Kathy was warning me about some big revelation — one that had the potential to upset me. I had a pretty good idea what that might be, and if I was right about what it was, it wouldn't bother me. What would bother me was the deception. Of course, I could be completely wrong. All I could do was wait to hear what she had to say.

"OK," I said.

I made some mint tea, which was Bethany's favorite, and brought it and two mugs into the Indian room, along with some snacks and a couple of bottles of soda. I sat down and a few minutes later, Bethany came into the room and shut the door. She locked it and pulled the curtain over the glass in the door.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi, Sweetheart," I said, trying to set the mood.

I poured tea for both of us and set the pot back on the warmer. Bethany turned a basket chair so she could face me and sat down. Based on Kathy's advice, I was going to wait for Bethany to start the conversation. We both sipped our tea in silence, and I wondered if she was working up her courage. She took a deep breath and let it out.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"And you're forgiven for whatever you've done."

"Don't be so sure about that," she said.

"Bethany, no matter what you have to say to me, I love you and I'll continue to love you."

"How do you even do that?" she asked. "What is your secret?"

"What do you mean?"

"That you can love people unconditionally. You even loved Becky after she tricked you into getting her pregnant and later seduced you. I just don't get how you do it."

"I have no idea," I said. "Maybe it's my whole 'live and let live' philosophy. Or maybe that I don't take things personally as most people do."

"I think I may do a research project on you. It has to be something to do with your mom and sister. Maybe the lack of love from your mom and the unconditional love from your sister, to the point where she made love with you, taught you that."

"Maybe," I said. "But is that what we're here to talk about?"

"We could talk for a month," Bethany sighed. "I also think it's amazing how you don't see all the damaged women around you as damaged. You never looked at me like I was dirty because of the rape; or thought badly of Elyse because of the sexual abuse from her boyfriend; or of Kara because of the abuse from her dad and pastor; or even Jennifer with all her issues. In fact, the only thing that hurts you is when someone breaks their word or deceives you."

I sat quietly and waited. She took a deep breath and let it out, then sipped some tea. Whatever it was, it had to be a deception of some kind or a broken commitment. That would hurt, but I was resolved to let it go, no matter what it was. After all, this was my Sweetheart. She took one more deep breath and then started talking.

"I'm not even sure where to start," she said.

"When we talked before, we started at the beginning," I said. "I'm guessing there are things you haven't told me."

She nodded, "There are. I guess it starts with my dream future in fifth grade — a devoted husband, two or three kids, a house with a white picket fence, a dog, a cat, and a parakeet. And I kept hoping that you would fit that dream, even when I'd accepted that you wouldn't. I didn't update it when I told you that I was OK with your proposed future. I didn't update it when you told me you were ready to marry. It's more complicated, and I'll get into it deeper, but that dream helped lead me down a disastrous path, one that hurt you quite badly.

"Even so, you did what you've always done. You let your friends help you and you picked up the pieces and made something good out of those broken pieces. Oh sure, there has been plenty of drama at times, but not this time. You've grown up. Despite everything, I'm pleased at how you dealt with it. Not the outcome, mind you, but how you reacted. And I was very impressed with Kara and how she handled you, your sister, and everything else that was going on."

She paused and sipped her tea. I had the distinct feeling that she was trying to find a way to cushion the blow of whatever it was that she was going to tell me. Or maybe it was more than one thing. But whatever it was, I was still going to love her. I couldn't do anything else. I sipped my tea and waited.

"I had a long-term affair with a graduate student in Madison," she said. "It started towards the end of my Freshman year and continued right up to the accident. I cheated on Gene. More importantly, I lied to you."

That was not what I had expected her to tell me, and if that was the extent of it, there wasn't anything for me to get upset about. Gene, on the other hand, would have had a right to be royally pissed.

"I had no claim on you, Sweetheart. None. Did you ever tell Gene about it?"

"No way!" she said. "And that's the other issue. I let him think it was you that caused me to break it off with him. I never said so, but I never corrected him when he blamed you. And I never told you about it."

"So why tell me now?" I asked. "It really wasn't my business, and it didn't hurt me."

She smiled, "I know. But this is confession and I'm going to make ... what do the Catholics call it?"

"Perfect contrition," I said. "One with the right motives and a true desire from the heart to get right with God. Or I guess, in this case, me."

"That affair is the real reason I applied to Loyola. I had to get away from him because I couldn't bring myself to break it off with him."

"Why not just end it?" I asked.

"I tried. Several times. But every time I went back to him. I don't even know why. I met him one day in the library and we struck up a conversation. One thing led to another, and I went back to his apartment with him. We didn't make love that first night, but we came really close. And a few days later, we did."

Library. Grad student. Affair. I wondered if the pattern had repeated itself and that I was right about what she had to tell me about Andrew. She continued.

"We kept it secret, and later, he was a TA for one of my psychology classes. There was a kind of thrill at that point, you know, sneaking around. He treated me really well, and he knew about Gene, and he knew you and I had some kind of relationship, but not the details. It didn't really matter to him, because, as I think about it after the fact, I'm pretty sure he was just in it for the sex. That's what made me want to break it off with him, but as I said, I was just pulled back to him."