Chapter 14: Insecurity

May 23, 1986 Chicago, Illinois

"Thanks, Mario," I said as I parked the car next to the coach house.

"You're welcome. I think we have that deal in hand."

I nodded, "Me, too. You did really well with the presentation."

Mario smiled and nodded. He walked towards his car, and Stephanie went into the coach house. I went into the main house and was greeted by Kara with a bear hug and a fierce kiss.

"I missed you, Snuggle Bear!" she gushed.

"I missed you, too, Honey! How's your mom?"

"Good! She and Paul are getting married next month!"

"That's great! What day?"

"They're just going to a Justice of the Peace. No real ceremony."

"That doesn't mean that we shouldn't be there!" I said.

"Friday, June 20th," Kara said.

"Then we're going to Ohio! Where do they plan to live?"

"His house," Kara replied. "Mom put our house up for sale."

"Are you OK with that?"

"It's not up to me," she said firmly. "This is my home. With you and Jess."

"Jess should be here in an hour or so," I said. "Do we have plans for tonight?"

"Dinner at Connie's. I talked to her on Tuesday night as usual and that's what she wanted to do."

"Cool. I want to take a shower before we go."

"Do you need help?" she smirked.

"I suppose we have enough time before she gets here!" I grinned.

I picked up my bag and followed Kara up to our room. I undressed and got into the shower, and a moment later, Kara joined me. She picked up the soap and gently washed my body. When she finished, I did the same for her. After we rinsed off the suds, I pulled Kara into my arms.

"Shouldn't we wait for Jess?" I asked.

"Yes, of course!" Kara said. "Though you seem to be in need of attention right now!"

"I can wait," I said. "I'm sure she will be raring to go because it's been almost two weeks!"

Kara laughed, "I'm sure she will! She does seem to enjoy having sex with us!"

"She promised that I'd be happy in that regard, and I'd say that she was right! And I have you, too, which makes me a very, very lucky man!"

I held Kara in my arms for a few minutes, and then we got out of the shower and dressed. We went down to the kitchen and each got a bottle of Mountain Dew and went to sit in the Indian room to wait for Jessica.

"How was your business trip?" Kara asked.

"Mario and I both think that we'll get the deal. Things are going really well."

"How was Becky?" she asked.

"She's much, much better. She seems reasonably happy, and she has a full-time job teaching Ohio history to seventh graders in Madeira in the Fall."

"That's great! How did she take the news of you being married? And did you tell her about Jesse?"

"I did, and she took the marriage news just fine. She was a bit surprised by the situation with you and Jess, but she even teased about being my third wife."

"She's still obsessing over you?"

I chuckled, "No, I don't think so. It was all healthy teasing between two ex-lovers. I took it as a good sign."

"Will you see her again?"

"Maybe, if I'm in Ohio. I don't plan to call her or anything. I'm sure if we do business with her dad's law firm that he'll invite me to visit at some point, and that's a much safer way to move forward with any friendship with Becky."

"So now you have Penny and Becky vying for the third wife position?" Kara teased.

"There is no 'third wife' position! I'm certainly not going to ask Jessica for something like that!"

"No, but Penny will."

"I'm thinking that Penny will forget about that if she gets serious with Jonathan. They're going out every other week. She's kissed him good night, but nothing else. Jackie advised her to be very, very picky about guys and to be very careful about moving too quickly, and she seems to be listening. But I think eventually, she'll decide he's worth it and that will be the end of it."

"Don't be so sure, Snuggle Bear. You two are joined at the hip and she's never going to leave you any more than Stephanie or I would. And you do have one possible problem."

"What's that?"

"Elyse is going to be working this Summer and you're going to be sleeping with her."

"Shit," I breathed. "Penny is going to make a stink about that, I'm sure. But Jess has said that Penny is off limits, which pretty much makes anything that Penny wants in that regard impossible. I'll talk to her. I'll make the point about Elyse having kids with me."

"And you think Penny won't conclude that she can make the same offer?"

"And Alice would kill both of us! I'll deal with Penny."

"Good luck with THAT!" Kara giggled. "Have you decided what to do about my suggestion about Lyudmila?"

"No," I sighed.

"Invite her to visit on her way to California at the end of the Summer. If she comes on to you, you can decide what to do then."

"If?" I chuckled. "That's about as sure as the Sun rising in the east and setting in the west!"

I heard the front door open and Jess called out, "Hi, Tiger! Hi, Kara! I'm home!"

We both got up and hurried to the front door to greet Jessica. Kara and I both gave Jess a nice kiss, and they went to the Indian room while I took Jessica's bag up to our room. When I came back to the Indian room, I found the girls cuddled together on a couple of the floor pillows.

"You two seem busy," I teased, "so I guess I'll go find something else to do!"

"Get down here with us, Tiger!" Jessica ordered.

I got down and snuggled close to Jessica, with Kara on her other side.

"I missed you guys," she said. "I'm glad I can be here for two weeks."

"We're glad that you're here! How did you do in your Clerkship?"

"I got an A. I'm so glad that I have pediatrics and geriatrics out of the way."

"Jess, can you come to Georgia with us for the race?" Kara asked.

"I don't have any time off until the week of Labor Day," she said. "Then I have a week at Thanksgiving, and a week at Christmas. You guys go and have fun. NASCAR isn't really my thing, anyway."

"We're going to the Reds game at Wrigley Field on Tuesday," I said. "Elyse and I used to go to games in Cincinnati all the time, but we've kind of fallen off now that we're in Chicago and the Reds only come to town occasionally. Not to mention that they're not nearly as good as they were ten years ago."

"That's fine. I want to go see Top Gun tomorrow, if that's OK with you two."

"The movie about Navy pilots?" I asked.

"Yes. Action and a love story! A perfect combination!"

"I thought that was later, after dinner!" Kara giggled.

"I suppose I can wait," Jessica sighed theatrically.

We got up and walked out to the car for the drive to Connie's Pizza. We were seated quickly because I'd made a reservation earlier in the week and we put our pizza order in right away.

"How much do you have to work the next two weeks?" Jessica asked.

"I was planning to work mornings, though we have Monday off for Memorial Day. I'll have to put in extra hours when you go back to Indianapolis, but it'll be worth it."

"Jess," Kara said, "I figured that we'd spend the time together if you don't have any studying to do."

"I don't, and I'd like that! Do you think we could borrow Jesse?"

"I'm sure that Beverly will be OK with that," I said. "And starting in June, Kara's going to be babysitting, anyway. Just check with Jennifer, please. I don't make assumptions about when I can have Jesse."

"They have you on a short leash?" Jessica asked.

"No, but remember what I told you I agreed to do — to father a child FOR them, WITH Jennifer. Jesse is my son, and I love him dearly, and I'll always be there for him, but he belongs to Jennifer and Josie, if you know what I mean."

"A boy needs a dad who's involved in his life," Jessica said.

"And I will be, but I have to let Jennifer and Josie be a couple, and be parents, like they wanted to be. It'll be different with Elyse, and it'll be different with our kids. But I'll be there for all of them when they need me."

"Steve does spend time with Jesse every day," Kara said. "But he's letting Jennifer and Josie make the decisions. He and Elyse will make some decisions together for their kids, but she'll make most of them. And the three of us will make decisions together for all the kids we have together."

"I suppose it's not all that different from how Doctor Barton handles his kids by his first two wives," Jessica said.

"Speaking of Elyse," I said. "She wants to get pregnant in September."

"That's pretty much the timing that you told me about," Jessica said. "I assume she wants her second one about two years later? And then you two will be done?"

"That's the plan, yes. She knows that once she gets pregnant the second time that we won't be together any more. That was our agreement."

"Yours and hers? Or yours and mine?"

"Both. Once Elyse has her kids, she'll find a lover, and when she tires of him, move on to another."

"Your friends certainly have very interesting views on life," Jessica said.

"Our friends, Jess. I'm hoping that you'll consider them your friends as well. They're going to be around quite a bit, especially Elyse, but also Kurt and Kathy, and, hopefully, Bethany."

"How is that going?" Jessica asked.

"Better. She's more comfortable talking to me and we danced at the graduation party that Elyse had for George and Charlie. We're working on it. But we're going to take it slow and steady. We don't want to mess things up."

"That's wise," Jessica said. "And remember, do what it takes to fix it. I mean that."

"I know," I said. "Do you want to know when it happens?"

"Yes. Before AND after. No surprises, Tiger."

"I promise," I said. "No surprises."

We chatted until our pizza arrived and attacked it with forks and knives, because all of us were quite hungry. When we finished eating, we drove home and, at Jessica's suggestion, the three of us took a walk. I was a bit surprised when Jessica took a place between me and Kara instead of having me between them.

"Are you OK, Jess?" Kara asked.

"Yes, I just missed you both, so I wanted to walk this way. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not!" Kara said. "I'm sure that the order will rotate depending on who needs the most love at the time. I guess that's you right now. Do you need us to both make love to you when we get home?"

"Yes, like on our first night," she sighed.

"What's bothering you, Babe," I asked.

"This is harder than I thought it was going to be," Jessica sighed. "A lot harder."

"Have you been feeling like this for a long time?" I asked.

"No, just the last couple of weeks."

"So the two weeks apart was enough to upset you this way? It's not something that I did?"

"Oh no, Tiger! You didn't do anything wrong at all! And neither did you, Kara! Steve, do you remember how you felt when you were obsessing over me?"

"Yes, of course."

"I think it's the same. I'm fine when I'm at work but then I come home to the empty apartment. I would lie in bed and think about the two of you and I'd have trouble sleeping."

I saw a tear roll down Jessica's cheek and suddenly I was concerned. Something was terribly wrong, and I was afraid.

"Steve, let's go back home," Kara said.

"Absolutely!" I agreed.

We walked home in silence and went into the Indian room.

"Snuggle Bear, let me talk to Jess, please," Kara said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Positive," she said firmly.

I gave each girl a quick kiss.

"I love you, Jess," I said, and then left the room and went to my study.

I sat down at my Macintosh and turned it on and loaded MacWrite. I hadn't written in my journal in a couple of weeks, and I needed to catch up. The problem was that I was so concerned about Jessica that I couldn't write. All I could do was think about Jessica and her problems. I couldn't think of a good solution. I doubted that it was possible for her to transfer medical schools at this late date, and that meant we'd need to find a way to deal with another year apart. I was afraid that she might not make it.

"Is everything OK?" Sofia asked in Swedish.

She was standing at the door of my study, and had a concerned look on her face.

"No, everything is not OK," I replied in Swedish. "What are you doing here instead of being out with Stavros?"

"He's in Greece, you dope!" she declared, continuing in Swedish. "I told you he was going to visit his grandparents for a month."

I sighed, "Sorry. I forgot. Come on in. I could use a friend right now."

"Uh oh. What happened?"

"Jessica is having trouble dealing with being away from me and Kara," I said.

"Didn't you tell me that she was worried about how that would affect you?"

"Yes, but think about the situation — I have Kara, of course, but I also have you, Stephanie, and Elyse here with me. I miss Jess during the week, but I keep busy with work, karate, and friends. Jess goes home to her little apartment by herself. She doesn't have any friends in Indianapolis that I'm aware of. And her mentor moved to Chicago in January."

"So she's basically alone," Sofia said.

I nodded, "Yes. And neither Kara nor I were in Indianapolis for the last two weeks. We didn't go last weekend because of the party, and now I wonder if that was a mistake."

"You didn't know she felt like this?"

"No. There were no signs, at least not any that I picked up. Kara's talking to Jess now. I guess Kara felt Jess needed a woman's perspective, not mine. She's probably right, because despite having more than my fair share of women and being constantly surrounded by them, I still don't understand them!"

Sofia laughed, "I think every single man in history has the same complaint! But that's OK, because we don't really understand you, either! Jessica just finished her Third Year of medical school, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"Fourth Year is clinical rotations, senior Clerkships, and Sub-Internships — she might have called them Clerkships just to keep from confusing you — but she could be a visiting student at the University of Chicago. I'm not sure what their rules are, but Loyola allows you take two four-week rotations without having to enroll, or pay tuition."

"So she could spend two full months of the next twelve here? That might make a huge difference. I guess that can't happen right away because she starts in two weeks, but maybe in the Fall and Spring, one month each. Sofia, you're a genius!"

She smiled, "Just well-informed. I did my homework. I'm not surprised that you don't know because this isn't exactly your field of study! You do lots of anatomy, but nothing else!"

I chuckled, "True! I wonder if Doctor Barton could help her."

"Her mentor? The Head of Emergency Medicine and a full professor? Of course he could! But she should talk to him as soon as possible. She might be able to transfer, but that's really, really hard to do. I think the visiting student option is the best one."

"I could kiss you!" I grinned.

"You may. Just not like those kisses that Melanie gives you, Mr. Married Man!" she giggled.

We both stood up, and I pulled her into my arms and gave her a nice, soft kiss on the lips, and hugged her tightly. We sat back down and talked for another ten minutes before Kara showed up.

"Hi, Sofia," Kara said. "Helping your friend?"

"I think so. He can tell you what we talked about. I'll leave you two alone. Good night!"

She left the study and Kara came over to me.