The Priest and the Love Doctor

by RichardGerald

Copyright© 2016 by RichardGerald

Humor Sex Story: A brief and humorous look at the modern relationship between the sexes.

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Reluctant   Heterosexual   Fiction   First   Oral Sex   Slow   .

The story is a bit on the light side and not to be taken seriously although some little bits are drawn from my past. Mike K was kind enough to edit out the worst of my bad grammar and spelling. I owe him a debt here. The story is not perfect but it is free. As always tell me what you think.

Father Dominic entered the dimly lit Newman Center Chapel. He expected more light because it was Thursday, and the Altar Society cleaned and prepared the church for weekly services on Thursday evenings. The Society was made up of a dozen young women volunteers from the University, but tonight they were not in the Chapel. That surprised him. Mary McCarty, the group’s chairwoman, was normally a most capable and dependable young woman. There were no males in the Altar Society. Young men rarely even attended services in these increasingly secular times. Father Dominic could only pray for their threatened souls.

Being the Chaplin of the State University’s Newman Center was not a particularly rewarding position. Father Dominic would have preferred real parish work, but it was not his option to choose. He had been assigned to minister to the university community, and he tried his best to be a good advocate for the teachings of the Catholic faith. It was a difficult community to serve, particularly in these times.

Young people today had very loose morals. Sex was always an important factor when ministering to college students. Nothing had prepared the priest for the modern “hookup culture.” Young people no longer dated, they hooked up instead. A hookup could mean anything from sharing coffee to sexual intercourse. It was, unfortunately, most often the latter. The priest was convinced that the unrestrained physical urges of young men were principally to be blamed for this development

Young men no longer felt responsible for anything. There were fewer of them in college, and, in fact, they were the minority. Young men were all about only one thing. Young women were no longer courted. A girl today would find her man at some event or social occasion without the benefit of prior arrangement. Sex had become no more than a casual event. Each Sunday Dominic preached against the hookup culture with only modest success.

His congregation was small and almost exclusively female. Still there were bright spots. Mary McCarthy was one of those lights. She was a teacher in training. She had completed her BA, her student teaching, and was almost finished with her MA in education for her permanent certification. She was a beautiful young woman with a very curvaceous figure. Not some skinny little thing, but a tall young lady with black hair and pretty green eyes. The unkind might label her as a bit overweight, but she looked like what Father Dominic would call a real woman. Added to these attributes like a shining jewel was her deep Catholic faith and commitment to the church. She had but one deficiency, and Dominic hoped she would soon rid herself of it or rather him.

Father walked through the chapel into the church hall. It was a long somewhat narrow room at the back of the church building that was lined along one wall with tables and chairs for social and educational functions. As he entered, he saw a group of young women at the far end, the missing Altar Society. The girls were gathered together and clearly excited about something.

As Dominic approached one of the girls called out, “Oh Father come and see. Mary’s engaged.”

They were gathered around Mary, who was sporting a substantial diamond ring. Father dreaded the answer as he asked the question.

“Who is the lucky young man?”

“Oh, Father don’t be silly, it’s Stil,” a number of young women informed the priest.

It was all he could do to keep a smile on his face. In a University filled with oversexed, immature men, Robert Simons might be considered an exception. He was painfully shy and awkward. He was very studious in his quiet way and maybe even somewhat likable. But that was the extent of his good qualities.

Robert was an atheist by personal inclination and a Protestant by birth. He was commonly referred to by the nickname Stil for reasons never explained. He seemed to be known to every young woman on campus who uniformly treated him with an uncommon familiarity. Every girl on campus seemed to regard him with amusement and hide a knowing smirk when his name was mentioned. Father feared the worst and had been disappointed the first time Mary had dragged Stil to Saturday evening Mass.

Mary had been seeing Stil, whom she studiously referred to as Robert, for a good eighteen months since the last half of the proceeding academic year. Stil was a good three years younger than Mary, a junior to her graduate student. He was in Father’s opinion in no way her equal. She led him around like a pet. Father could see that she ruled the relationship. He never directly stood up to her. Stil or Robert did not seem the type to be so submissive. The young man was firm in his religious views and adamant in his convictions. He was also tall and well built. A member of the varsity wrestling team he was also a bouncer at the “Factory”, the worst of the college bars. But it was clear that he was so utterly infatuated with Mary that her quietest wish was a loud command to him.

“Father can I speak to you in private,” Mary whispered in his ear.

“Of course—later when the others have gone,” he whispered back.

He was hoping that she had some doubts about her engagement that he might used to show her how inappropriate a marriage outside her faith would be.

“Father.” Mary took a seat in the small office the priest used at the back of the church hall, “Everything I say, it’s like confession?”

“Of course my child, but I hope it is nothing bad,” he said.

“No—well maybe, you see it’s Sti—Robert and sex,” she said.

“Has he been pressuring you for sex?”

A tear dropped across Mary’s face as she shook her head no.

“That’s just it Father. As you know, I am a virgin and very inexperienced, but surely a boy should well want to at least... ,” her voice fell off to a whisper.

“Mary I don’t understand what are you trying to say.”

“Well, he won’t let me touch him—you know down there.”

“I’m still confused. Stil doesn’t want sex?”

“Well, not exactly—I mean I wouldn’t be with a boy who did not satisfy me. I don’t think any girl would put up with that. When you can go just anywhere and hook up, but Robert will not let me return the favor.”

Now Father was entirely lost in territory beyond his experience and expertise. Why was it that people expected a man who had taken a vow of celibacy to give sexual advice.

“I am clearly missing something here. You need to give me more explanation.”

Mary pondered apparently both concerned and embarrassed, but the concern won out.

“We do a lot of oral. I just love it. I never even contemplated it before I met Stil, ah I mean Robert. He is splendid at that, at least I think so, and he can really use his fingers. But that tongue of his is fantastic, and how he uses his mouth is just so right. He will do it all night if you ask. But he will not let me touch his male parts. They are strictly off limits. It’s a no go,” She looked every bit as embarrassed as the now shocked priest.

Father Dominic was totally adrift. He would never have contemplated such a confession from the chairwoman of his Altar Society. The pretty young virgin who until moments ago he believed to be the epitome of chaste Catholic womanhood had undergone a transformation. More to the point, he knew she had never confessed any sexual indiscretion to him, and her attitude seemed to indicate that she saw nothing wrong in her actions. Evidently she believed, like a former American president, that only intercourse was sex.

“Perhaps Robert is reluctant to engage in premarital sexual activities. Maybe he sees pleasing you as acceptable, but doesn’t think he could contain himself if aroused,” Father Dominic ventured, wondering if perhaps Stil was a better man than he had contemplated.

“Oh, Father if only that were true. That thing of his is rarely at rest. He seems to have a perpetual hard-on. But he won’t let me touch it, and I believe there is only one reason,” Mary said, tears now flowing freely.

“Mary, you have me at a total loss,” Father Dominic confessed.

“Oh, Father can’t you see he must be —QUICK—a premature ejaculator.” She broke down entirely.

Father Dominic knew not what to say. He tried to understand what he was being told but it somehow failed to register.

Finally, he said, “Mary is that such a bad thing? Sex is only part of marriage and a small part at that.”

Mary looked up and frowned, “I don’t think I am being unreasonable Father. I love Robert with all my heart and soul. BUT, I am a modern woman, and I know what I have a right to expect. A man needs to perform in the bedroom. That’s his principle function. Robert is no Alpha Male. He is a shy, quiet person. He is big, and I am told rather strong in some male ways. But let’s face it. He is, as the saying, goes pussy whipped. I know I will always wear the pants in our relationship, so to speak. That’s fine, I like it, but I still want to be satisfied in bed.”

Father was totally taken aback by the sentiments expressed by his devout protegee. What could he say in response? It was at that moment he remembered. He reached into the pile of correspondence on his desk and pulled out a stack of fliers he had received and dismissed with little attention to a few days before. They announced the Newman Society sponsorship of a lecture by a noted psychologist who styled himself the LOVE DOCTOR. He was to talk about ‘Love, Sex, and the Modern Christian Marriage.’ The idea was to encourage young people to defer sex until after marriage, but what now had caught Father’s attention was the promise that the talk would cover sexual compatibility and sexual dysfunction.

“This might be the solution, Mary,” Father suggested handing her one of the fliers.

“Do you think Father?” she asked rather skeptically.

“Well, he is a professional, and it says here he will be speaking on sexual dysfunctions.”

“Yes, you are right,” Mary said examining the notice “ If I take Robert to this lecture at least it may bring his problem out into the open.”

“Good—good and maybe you may learn something Mary that will put things in perspective. I mean, about, the true function and purpose of sex,” Father concluded grateful to end this unpleasant conversation.

“Thank you, Father, I knew I was right to ask you,” she said planting a brief kiss on his cheek.

Three weeks later Mary dragged Stil to the lecture hall where the Love Doctor was to speak. It had not been easy for her. He was not anxious to attend non-compulsory lectures of any sort, but those discussing the issues to be presented that evening were clearly at the bottom of his priority list. He tried every evasive ploy including sudden sickness to no avail. Mary was insistent. She was bound and determined to settle what she now saw as her problem one way or the other. Her fiance was not in her opinion the most manly of men, but he was hers. As with many females, she discounted those attributes that men respect in each other including quiet strength and physical courage. However, to be fair, she did not see these qualities in Robert; only how compliant he was in their relationship.

As they entered, the room Mary tugged Robert toward the front while he pulled back. They settled in the middle on the left toward the end of the aisle with Mary on the outside boxing Robert in. As they seated themselves Robert look around warily, seeing several former girlfriends.

“Please God not her,” he prayed.

His prayers were either not answered or the answer was ‘no.’The tall blond girl from the ‘road trip’ was sitting front row center. Robert slumped down into the seat and tried to become invisible.

“Sit up,” Mary commanded, but there was no way he would, not when the blond girl there.

It was in the early fall of Robert’s freshman year.

Larry was a sophomore and rather full of himself. The weather promised a warm Indian summer just perfect for a road trip. He had been chatting up this girl Betty, who was a junior and had a bit of a reputation. To cut straight to it, she had two girlfriends, and they were up for a bit of a break over the Columbus Day weekend.

Larry knew that good old Fred was in, but he had a problem choosing the third male. The problem was the old Econoline van. When Larry’s brother joined the Air Force, he left his old merrymaking wagon behind. It was tricked out pretty good as a party van, but it was an old style big commercial Ford Econoline with the horizontal steering wheel and lack of power steering. It drove like what it was- a work truck, and you needed to steer right to go straight. The thing swerved back and forth across the road whenever he or Fred was at the wheel.

The steering problem on the van was compounded by the fact that Larry had stocked up on plenty of party supplies including beer, and marijuana. The girls were sure to be ready for some real fun, but not for getting stopped by the cops. He needed a driver who could handle that damn van. Looking around the dorm, he could not find a suitable candidate until someone remembered that frosh kid. The big shy one who was trying out for the wrestling team had said he drove a utility company van all summer to get his spending money for the school year. The guy was poor as a church mouse and did not look like the type to be good with girls, but when they put him behind the wheel of that van, he handled her like his long lost love.

“She’s real sweet,” he said of the E-van, “She handles just like a small meter truck,” he said referring to the utility company’s vans he drove to install gas meters.

“Good, so you can handle it.” Larry was thinking that the girls might be a bit disappointed with the shy freshman, but the smoke and drink would more than make up for that on the drive.

Friday afternoon was sunny and mild. The guys were ready shortly after noon, but the girls were late. It was after three when Betty showed with a girl called Fitzy because her last name was an unpronounceable Polish name and a tall blond girl. Larry had met Fitzy with Betty before. Both girls were big pretty young women, perhaps a bit overweight, but sexy and notably easy as the saying goes.

The tall blond girl was thinner than her friends, but that was deceptive. She was somewhat taller than the other girls, and she was wearing wedge heel sandals that made her look even taller. Her height detracted a bit from her womanly curves. She was well dressed but seemed to be a bit standoffish with a smile that contained a bit of a self-absorbed smirk. Nonetheless of the three girls, the blond was certainly the prettiest.

As things broke the blond ended up sitting in the front with the new kid. She did not seem happy about that, but, in fact, no one could blame her. Rob, as they decided to call him looked a bit like a scarecrow. To wrestle that week on the varsity team he had filled in for the man who was in the 184 weight class, a good thirteen pound lighter than his normal 197 weight. He was a handsome young man, but the abrupt weight loss did not enhance his appearance. When added to his status as a shy freshman it made him a clear third choice among the boys.

Rob and the blond rode in virtual silence. After about ten minutes the first joint was lit and passed around. Fitzy made sure the blond got her share, and the van occupants got happy. The blond offered the joint to Rob, who begged off while he was driving. In fact, he had never even smelled pot before. They stopped for dinner at a roadside diner. Eating took way too long due to the laid back feelings of the group. They pressed on arriving about 9 p.m. at the first day’s stop, a youth hostel out on old Route 5 West. Rob handled the check in after pulling the van off to the side and rear of the property, an old Victorian house with two out buildings. A thirties something couple received the ten dollars a head fee and explained that because of the holiday weekend they were almost full, but still had space in the truck barn. It turned out to be a kind of garage with work vehicles in the front and a tool and storage room in the back. The girls were set with their sleeping bags in the back room while the boys bedded down in the front. The couple who ran the place, saw everyone settled in for the night. The woman showed the girls how to throw the latch on the door locking the boys away from the back part of the building.

No sooner had the man and his wife returned to the main house then a loud click followed by a squeak announced the back room door being opened. The invitation was clear, and Larry was the first to move followed by Fred. Rob was well in the rear. When they reached the backroom, it was pitch black. A hand reached up and pulled Rob down. The flap on the girl’s sleeping bag was pulled open, and the body within was warm. She soon had Rob out of his clothing, and the touch of her skin to his was electric.

He had never had so much as a makeout session with a female before and now he was bare chest to bare chest with a real live girl. She was kissing him so hard that she seemed to want to pull out his tonsils. Should he tell her, they had already been removed? It struck him as odd that on touching her breasts, he could feel the hard nubs of her nipples. He had not expected that. He was soon sucking them with a tender ferocity as she moaned out her pleasure. He decided she was a wonderous creature as he explored her body with his hands and mouth.

His touch was like feathers on her skin. It tickled making her laugh and enticed her arousal. Around them, she could hear the sound of the other in the throes of their passions. It made her all the more excited to know what was going on about them. Rob, however, was too fascinated with her body to notice what was happening elsewhere it the room. When his hand reached the slit between her legs, she let out a loud satisfied moan that produced giggles in the darkness from her friends. She reached down between his legs finding him hard and his erection hot enough to burn her fingers. She backed off, not wanting to end things too soon. When she knew, she was ready,

she whispered, “Put it in.”

He did not understand for a moment as he was lost in the fascination of what was between her legs, a new unknown territory.

“Please put it in,” she said firmly pulling on his organ.

Realizing her desire he awkwardly tried to enter her. He missed the target by a wide margin, so she had to help get him on the right track. As he thrust into her, she let out a scream that sparked renewed giggles. A moan escaped his lips as the heat and tightness of her vagina enveloped him. He could hardly breathe as his heart pounded in his chest. He moved back and forth, the sensation more incredible than he would have believed possible. She twisted and turned beneath him in the throes of a powerful arousal. Then she shuddered gave a little cry and went limp. Her vagina lost its tightness, and he stopped fearing the worst that somehow he had hurt her.

“Don’t stop love--keep going—you can come in me--had my pill I’m safe,” she pleaded.

It was only then in that frightening second he realized he was expected to cum. He picked up his efforts pushing hard and fast. The room around them was quiet now; the others had finished some time before. He pumped her hard, and she tightened again. As he started to feel it she screamed and once more went limp. Again he dropped back and started over. Once again, he got her going only to have her shudder before he was ready. He was very nervous now fearing an imminent failure to perform.

“What’s wrong,” she whispered, “don’t you like me?”

What could he say? “It just takes me a while.”

As he started again, a loud car horn sounded. Some other travelers were seeking admittance.

“Jesus, time to go,” someone said in the dark and Rob scrambled for his clothing. They made it back to the front as the door opened to admit the new guests that ended the night’s fun. In the morning, Larry was dressed and out front early as Fred returned from his turn at the showers.

“So who were you with last night?” Larry asked Fred.

Fred shrugged “Don’t know. It was awful dark, and we didn’t talk.”

“Shit, I was hoping you knew so I could eliminate someone.”

“You don’t know?”

“Of course not. It was darker than a witch’s heart.”

Just then, Rob appeared, and they confronted him about who he was with the night before. Determining that like them he did not know, Larry thought and then had an idea.

“Look we play it cool, and when the girls come out to get in the truck, we see who they link up with. We don’t let on we don’t know. Let them tell us that way so they can’t get mad.” Larry was always the one working the angles.

A problem immediately arose when the girls stayed close together and did not look at the boys. They hustled themselves into the back of the truck without so much as a good morning. As the group drove out to find a breakfast place, things were pretty tense in the van.

They reached a small diner right before the interstate and stopped to eat. The girls were first out of the truck staying firmly in a group. As they hustled themselves into the diner, the boys followed in total perplexity. Then Larry began to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Fred asked.

“Don’t you get it?” Larry asked.

“No,” Fred replied.

“They have no idea either. They don’t know who they were with any more than we do,” Larry said as he and Fred began to laugh at the odd predicament.

Rob was not laughing. He was breathing a sigh of relief. If the girls did not know who had been their partner his abject failure to perform would remain unknown. He only had to perform better next time. ‘Think positive’ he told himself ‘you can do it.’

Things loosened up after breakfast when the girls adjourned to the restroom. They were gone a very long time, but when they came back, they chose partners as they headed back to the truck. The blond girl was once again with Rob but seemed even less happy about it than yesterday. They soon hit the Six Flags amusement park to spend the day. They would spend that evening in a motel and go camping at the State Park the next day. The group would head back to campus the following day in the afternoon.

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