Chapter 58

We set sail for San Diego on Friday afternoon. It took us 34 hours to make the trip southward. It would take us closer to 44 to make the return voyage because of tides and winds and a lot of other things I didn’t know about.

Our last day in Cabo San Lucas was as hectic as our last day in San Diego. The ladies wanted to do the shopping they had put off and have one last drink at all the bars we’d hit while we were there.

Liz was giggly (and amorous) when we boarded the vessel. Our comely stewards got hugs from everyone with a vagina and waves from those of us with penises. It was late afternoon but the quintet was topless as soon as we made our way northward and cleared the shipping lanes.

The media reaction to Liz’s bikini pictures had been tremendous. Social media was abuzz as several of her most ardent male admirers pointed others to where they could find new or different photos.

We had been very observant about the location of the photographers. Liz had accepted the suggestion that she wear a mini pad in her bottoms and pasties over her nipples to ensure that nothing popped free during our foray. She had given them the obligatory butt shot and a few of her from the front without her life vest but we made certain she never bent over so there were no close-ups between her legs or down her top.

As I predicted, a large contingent was pretty smug when it became obvious that Liz had never had breast augmentation. The ones on the anti-implant brigade almost singlehandedly shut down a site that had hundreds of pictures of Liz’s (clothed) breasts from the time she was 18 through the Phoenix concert. Each one was analyzed and digitalized and enhanced and despeckled in Photoshop in the proprietor’s attempts to use mathematics to determine exactly when Liz had gone under the knife. I hoped it wasn’t part of a doctoral dissertation because he was fucked if it was.

Liz’s friends and fans (including my mother), and my friends, had come out universally behind her decision. Even Beverly Larimer had called her daughter to tell her that she looked “very lovely and very happy.”

I wondered how social media would react if they got word of Liz reclining on a deck chair without a top and with her bikini bottoms untied and shifted until only her pussy was covered.

I decided the Internet was too valuable for worthwhile educational pursuit to take the picture and post it when we got back. There was no way the ISPs would be able to control the traffic that this picture would cause – particularly because Skye, Jill, Jessica and Kristin had decided the look was perfect for them, too.

Dom, Brian and I stood at the railing above them simply dumbfounded.

“Oh my God!” Brian muttered. “They’re rolling over!”

Indeed, a moment later, five perfect butts were pointed toward the heavens.

“Why couldn’t they have pointed the chairs this way?” Dom wondered.

“Damned inconsiderate if you ask me!” I said.

Liz saw us standing above her and blew us three kisses with her fingers.

“Don’t forget that little one is supposed to be naked all day tomorrow,” the girls’ mother said from behind us.

We all spun, embarrassed at gawking not only at her daughters but at our own girlfriends.

She laughed at us.

“I just wanted to let you know that we’ve stocked the fridges with quick stuff for the trip,” she said. “Ms. Larimer informed us that you wouldn’t expect any service other than transportation so you’ll be on your own.”

“That’s great,” I said. “I hope that will give you a chance to relax.”

“Oh, it will,” the woman said. “In fact, if I can talk one of you gentlemen into bringing a deck chair down from the top, I’m going to join the party.”

She laughed at our expressions. There was no doubt where the girls had acquired their looks and their bodies. I put the woman’s age at about 45 but I could have been way off. My only point of reference was the fact she had a 22-year-old daughter. Brian went off to acquire the chair for her and I went into the galley to make a pitcher of daiquiris for the ladies.

“I may have to go rub one out,” Dom said as we took the drinks and glasses down the stairs.

I concurred. I was thankful that Carol (the girls’ mother) still had on her stars and stripes bikini when we arrived. She wasn’t any more attractive than anyone else, but I didn’t need any new flesh to stare at. It had taken me hours to get used to seeing Jessica and Kristin without tops on the way down. The mother was a little thicker around the waist, courtesy of time and birthing two girls, but she was still attractive.

“You guys are so sweet!” Liz said. She pushed herself upward and accepted a cup from me. She had somehow managed to keep her bottom pressed to her vagina but the look was still amazing.

“Anytime you want to take a boat trip anywhere, let us know,” Carol said. “We’ll happily bump a tour if you’re looking to go to Catalina or even Hawaii.”

“You can bet we’ll use your service anytime we’re going somewhere,” Liz answered. “This is ... it’s nice. It’s nice that your family is so sweet. I’m sure a lot of people try to take advantage of that so please let us know if we start to do that.”

“We’re not worried about that,” Carol said. “The fact that you’re so easy to deal with makes the trip fun for everyone. Nick doesn’t have to bring a second pilot so he can play referee to a bunch of drunks. I don’t have to keep the girls in their room to make sure they aren’t roofied or something. The only extra expense for us is washing the sheets every day!”

I covered my eyes.

“He is so adorable!” Carol said. She was pointing at me when I moved my hands again.

“He really is,” Liz said. “It’s so cool when you learn that your grade school crush has turned out to be a really wonderful man.”

“Aw, shucks,” I said as I sat down on Liz’s lounger to rub some lotion on her back. I saw a spot in the middle that she’d missed.

“He takes such good care of me,” Liz said.

“I think he just wanted to feel you up!” Jill interjected. I reached over and flicked her on her bare butt cheek. I couldn’t help but laugh at her when she made her bottom do a little dance by flexing each cheek individually.

Soon the rest of them were imitating her actions. The guys decided to make our retreat when they started to discuss “twerking.”

“Hey!” Liz said when we started to head out. “One more thing.”

I turned to see what else she needed. She was sitting with her bikini bottom draped over her lap and her lips pursed exaggeratedly. I leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss.

“I love ya, you big goof,” she told me.

I sat down on the upper deck with my two friends. We could see the visuals from down below without having to listen to the conversation. We considered it a win-win.

“My dick is sore,” Brian said when we sat down.

“What?” Dom asked incredulously.

“My dick is sore,” Brian said again. “Jill ... she’s ... I...”

His voice trailed off.

“She said she was a wildcat,” I said, laughing at the stammering man.

“Oh, man!” Brian said. “She’s ... tight. When she starts bouncing and squeezing ... it’s intense.”

Dom and I shared a look before we broke into laughter.

“You’re breaking my heart,” I managed to say.

“Yeah, fine,” Brian said, laughing now, too.

“Things look like they’re going well for you,” Dom said in a more serious voice.

“Yeah,” Brian admitted. “You know, a couple of weeks ago at Travis’s house, it was ... fun. I always thought Jill was hot. I mean, she’s sweet and funny and, that body.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked. I had set up the weekend at Jill’s request.

“I’m just a dumb jarhead that didn’t finish college,” Brian answered. “There is no way a girl like Jill should be interested in me.”

“Oh, fuck,” Dom said, shaking his head. “Man, you’re a good guy. Hell, look at us.”

He gestured to me and then himself.

“Can you think of a reason on God’s green earth that Skye or Liz should even talk to us?” he continued.

“You guys are ... nice,” Brian said. “I only met Skye a few times but I know Liz is a lot more interested in nice than she is anything else.”

“And Jill isn’t?” I asked.

“Well, no,” Brian said quickly.

“There you have it,” I said. “She liked you because you’re you. Looks, money, whatever, they didn’t play a part. She thinks you’re special.”

“I’m really not,” Brian said. “That’s the thing. I know what I am.”

“Again, you just have to look at us,” Dom said, repeating his earlier motions. “I have never been able to figure out why Skye likes to spend time with me.”

“That’s what I said,” I cut in. “I couldn’t figure out why Skye wanted to hang out with you either!”

“Asshole,” Dom said, laughing.

“I told Liz that I’ve spent every minute with me for the past 30 years and I know I’m a pain in the ass,” I said. “I can’t come up with a reason why anyone with better options would subject themselves to my company. If I had the choice, I’d find someone better to hang out with. But, she seems to enjoy it so I’m not going to question it.”

“It might be mental illness,” Dom said.

“I’ve considered that,” I admitted. “I thought she might just be bat-shit crazy. She says no.”

“I’m baffled,” Dom said before turning back to Brian. “You had fun this week?”

“Oh, yeah,” Brian said. “It was awesome. It was cool to get to know Skye a little better and to learn more about Liz.”

“And Jill?” I asked.

“That, too,” Brian said. “That was what I liked best. The weekend at your house was ... casual. I mean, we didn’t ... you know ... until the last night. We just hung out, you know, got to know each other. Then Phoenix was great. We got to be with each other without being around each other too much. This week she was ... amazing. She’s so sweet and ... it just really moved things forward.”

“Are you good with that?” Dom asked. He knew full well the personal and professional implications of a nasty breakup.

“I ... I don’t know,” Brian said.

“You aren’t into her?” Dom asked. I bit back a comment about how Brian’s dick wouldn’t be sore if he wasn’t.

“I’m way into her,” Brian said. “I am absolutely nuts about her. I just know it’s going to end and I’m going to be crushed.”

“Why would it end?” I asked.

“It always ends,” Brian said.

“It’s about respect, Man,” Dom said. “You didn’t know about her ex-husband so you don’t understand.”

“She told me that she was divorced,” Brian interrupted.

“Yeah but not about the other shit,” Dom said. “I saw it on your face. You were pissed that someone would treat her that way. It’s because you respect her. You treat her like she should be treated. If you ask me, you’re perfect together.”

“That was what I was thinking the other night,” I said. “You treat her so well all the time that she isn’t even pissed when you call her out when she starts to get out of hand. Man, I’m going to tell you something: She wanted me to set up the weekend at my house for you.”

“I know,” Brian said. “She told me that, too. I just can’t figure it out.”

“Well, all I can offer is the same advice I’ve given myself,” I said. “Whatever you’re doing; keep doing it. Don’t mess with success.”

The whole gang was waiting for us at the marina when we pulled in. I knew Eric and Rick would be there. They had agreed to find a way to transport six people to a hotel. I didn’t realize their idea was to rope everybody into taking us.