Chapter 48

Liz’s revelation was so sudden I was caught slightly flat-footed. I only managed a nod.

“Yeah, too soon,” Liz said.

“If things keep going this way, it would work out,” I stammered. “But we have a lot to think about between now and then.”

“We do,” Liz agreed. “But, and, here again, this is just what I’ve been thinking.”

She let out another long breath.

“After the next tour, I’m going to take some time away,” she said. “I’m going to write and record the next disc. But I would also like to ... begin a family at about the same time.”

“Uh,” I stammered once more. “We’ve never really talked about kids. I’m not sure about that.”

“Oh, please!” Liz said. “Kids love you!”

“Yeah, because I’m a fun uncle-type,” I said.

“You love them just as much as they love you!” Liz protested.

“Because I can give them back when I’m done,” I said. “I’ve ... I’ve thought about it. I mean, who hasn’t? But I just don’t know if it’s right, particularly given the nature of your business and mine.”

Liz nodded.

“Now that explanation actually makes sense,” she said. “The others were just ... bullshit excuses. Travis, I don’t want to be touring at 55 years old. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll want to be touring at 40 years old, at least not like I’m doing it now. I thought, in about a year or so, I’d like to have a child. No, let me correct that immediately. I would like to have your children – ideally two or three – and I would like us to be married beforehand. The kids could tour with us until they hit school age and then ... we’ll stop and be a soccer mom and a tree-house-building dad. Maybe I’d do some tour dates in the summer months, 10 shows in places where the kids would learn things and have fun. I might drop a disc every couple of years or do some weekends at the Ryman but ... I would want our kids to grow up relatively normally. That means we would sell the house in Nashville and move here fulltime or find some other place to make our home.”

Liz took her hand and closed my mouth, which had (quite literally) dropped as the discussion progressed.

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” she continued. “I just wanted you to be aware of my thoughts. I would not be the least bit opposed to having my first RaveLand disc be released under the name of Liz Blakely.”

“I...” I mumbled. “Liz...”

“I know,” she said. “Like I said, this is just what has been passing through my brain for the past few days. I mean, the timing of my breaks and end of my tours are things I’ve thought about for a while. But the second part ... marriage, babies, retirement ... those have just sort of crept in there. I can finally picture every part of my life now. There were always gaps before. I could see where my professional life should go and I started to work toward it. My personal life was not as easy. It was hazy. I knew what I wanted ... a nice husband, a houseful of kids ... it was just getting started that always gave me problems.

“Then ... you. A few of the gaps started to fill in once we spent time together. It’s been three weeks and we’ve barely spent a minute apart. I’m still as happy to see you today as I was then at the convention center. We’re planning ways to be together. We’re giving and we’re taking. So, my mind has started to imagine the next steps we take together. I’m not going to push you or cajole you. I just wanted you to understand that I’m playing for keeps.”

“I get that,” I said. “I mean, I am, too. This isn’t a fling or a ... chance to hang out with someone famous or hot. I think I’ve known since ... we decided to go this route that we weren’t talking about a short-term relationship and then we move on to someone else. It’s just ... I’ve never sat down and thought about a timetable for everything before. It’s a lot for me to process.”

“I know,” Liz said. “But, you think about all the reasons people use to delay marriage: they’re not financially secure; they don’t share the same goals or ideals; they’re from different religious or socio-economic backgrounds. None of those apply to us.”

“Well, some of them do,” I countered. “I have no idea of your religious background but our socio-economic situation is vastly different. That’s a problem.”

“Want half of what I have?” Liz asked.

“No!” I said.

“I am wealthy,” Liz said with a slight shrug. “You are upper-middle class or lower upper-class. Together, we are financially secure. Individually, we are financially secure. Unless we do something really dumb neither of us – or our children – is going to have worry about money. I’m not religious but, if pressed by the media, I say I am a Christian. In truth, I’m probably an agnostic. To me God is like aliens. There is no evidence but I sure hope so. The reasons I’ve listed don’t apply.”

“Maybe not but there are other reasons people delay getting married,” I noted.

“And those reasons do apply,” Liz said, smiling at me. “Compatibility, friendship, trust. We have those three things. We just need to grow them. I just wanted you to know that if we find ourselves married with a child on the way in six months I’m not going to worry that it’s too soon.”

I realized that I had stopped rubbing Liz’s back. Instead, my hands rested on her butt.

“Well, at least we got that out of the way,” Liz said, mopping non-existent sweat off her brow. “We won’t move any faster than your comfort level. I’m ... I’m amazed at how well you’ve adapted to everything so far. But ... I mean ... seriously, does the idea of waking up beside me every day really sound that terrible?”

“No,” I said. “It’s not that. It’s just ... we’ve pretty much thrown away all the courtship rituals.”

“Yeah,” Liz said. “But those are about establishing the things we already have. You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” I said.

“We have developed a fast friendship,” Liz said. “We’ve found that we’re compatible in all the important ways. I just wanted you to know where my head had gone. I didn’t mean to scare you. You’re not thinking about trying to track down your new friends, are you?”

“No,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere. Look, I’ve gotten used to having a little time by myself to think things through. I’ve lived by myself for a long time. I have habits and rituals. I like my towels folded a certain way and I tie my socks into knots.”

“I thought that was odd,” Liz said, winking at me.

“It keeps the elastic from breaking,” I said, apropos of nothing.

“I noticed these things when I was staying with you,” Liz said. “Honey, I’m not asking you to change your habits. I have a few things I do, too. I wake up and work out of the mornings. You wake up and get started with the day. No one is saying we have to spend every minute together.”

“I guess I could swim to Mexico,” I said.

“I meant when we get back,” Liz said. “If you and Brian and Dom want to stay in Nashville while we’re in New York, I’ll miss you but it’ll be OK.”

I frowned and shook my head. The worst part was that she was right. I didn’t really want to be anywhere she wasn’t. I had fallen hard and fast.

“I’m scared,” I admitted.

“You’re not alone in that,” Liz said. “I thought ... I thought I’d felt the real thing, you know. I thought I knew what to expect when I fell in love again. I was wrong. You totally knocked me on my ass. One minute I was chiding myself for trying too hard; the next minute I was head over heels. It gets better every day. Do you think I’m not scared to death? I am. I kept telling myself to work toward a friendship before I pushed for more. Then I told myself to wait before we got physical. Then I told myself to find a few days apart to clear our heads. Every time I tell myself something I find that I don’t want to follow through. I wanted to work on a relationship while we developed our friendship; then I wanted to be in bed with you while we worked on a relationship and a friendship; then I wanted to be with you every minute while we were in bed and working on our relationship and a friendship. Now I want to be married and together every minute while we’re in bed and working on our friendship and relationship. Then I thought ... I’d really like to have this guy’s babies. Yeah, it’s scary.”

I found myself smiling in spite of myself.

“Yeah,” I said. “I hadn’t made it as far as marriage and babies but the rest is there. I’ve told myself the same things. Each time I decide I’m just being stupid. Things are going well but they’re not always going to be. Let’s wait until we have our first big fight before we go looking for rings.”

“What do you want to fight about?” Liz said, smiling at me. “I’m ragging so I’m ready.”

The next morning it was like the conversation from the night before hadn’t happened. I awoke with my arms around Liz and I kissed her softly on her shoulder.

She shifted and rolled toward me.

“Feeling better?” I asked.

Liz nodded before lifting her lips up for a kiss. We ignored how the other’s breath smelled for a brief smooch.

Liz had sat up in bed in the middle of the night. It had taken a minute to figure out what was going on and I dozed off again while she was in the bathroom. I had awakened a few minutes later to find her standing at the window staring at the ocean. She was so lost in her thoughts that I had managed to wrap my arms around her before she even knew I had gotten out of bed.

I had coaxed her back under the sheets and rubbed her back until she had fallen asleep again. Now she had affixed me with her penetrating green eyes as we cuddled together.

I got the half smile when I started to rub her tummy.

“I love you,” she said.

“Right back at ya,” I said.

The morning was a bit hectic. Dom had to drive to the airport to get Skye. I had to take my car home and stash it in the garage. I needed to do some laundry so I handled that while Brian and Liz hung out at my house.

Jill and Dom took the rental cars back and caught taxis to the charter rental. We all somehow managed to arrive on time and within 10 minutes of each other.

The boat was pretty nice. It had a crew of four. The captain’s wife served as the cook and I thought it was probably his two daughters acting as the stewards. The young women were in their late teens and they about peed themselves when Liz walked up the gangway. We showed the captain our passports (otherwise we wouldn’t be able to go on land once we hit Mexican coastal waters).