Chapter 28

As was usually the case, it was left to Susan to rein us back in. Susan Weathers was the outlier in our group. She had a good sense of humor but she also had enough common sense to ensure she only showed it when the time was appropriate.

She was the oldest in the group at 37 and she and Chris had been married for more than 15 years. She was also the one that grew tired of our antics the quickest.

As was her way, she simply cleared her throat and we stopped with the wisecracks.

“So, back to business,” she said. “I think giving them a warning will have no effect on what is likely coming. In fact, it might help to alienate one of them from the rest of the group if her friends get the impression that she is willing to cut them off at the knees as quickly as she does you.”

“It will also give you the chance to feel them out to see if they are the potential leak,” I noted.

“To me, identifying the source would seem to be the most important thing,” Ryan said. “It will let you craft the message to fit their knowledge.”

“In most cases you’d be correct,” Rick said. “But we’re not talking about damage control here.”

“We’re not,” I confirmed. “We’re talking about Liz sitting down with a blogger or a writer or a TV host and admitting she’s not the perfect angel that RFN has tried to paint her to be. What we need is someone sympathetic that will not try to dig for specifics. That’s one thing we don’t want to get into. We don’t want to start naming names and pointing fingers. We need to avoid the tabloids and speak in as general of terms as we can get away with. If we get Liz on the record as admitting to distant drug usage and a few sexual improprieties then anyone coming out with specific instances is going to be seen as piling on. Am I right on this?”

I saw Stephanie nodding slightly as she considered my premise. The professionals that had dealt with public image situations in the past were silent.

“I think that depends on the nature of the improprieties,” Susan said eventually. “Look, I think we’re all smart enough to know that this is going to boil down to being a sex story. The drug stuff might be a hook if she had checked into rehab or been nabbed for a DUI. No one is going to bat an eyebrow at the fact she smoked a few joints 10 years ago. I hate to get personal again, Liz, but what exactly are we talking about?”

“A lot of things,” Liz admitted with a guilty look.

“I phrased that badly,” Susan cut in. “Are we talking about any illegal activities ... minors or coercion to start with?”

“Susan!” I said.

“It’s a valid question,” Sarah said. “And it’s also typical of the questions she’s going to have to answer if she goes through with this.”

“Nothing illegal,” Liz said. “Definitely no minors and no one was coerced.”

“OK,” Susan said. “That’s a good start. So we’re talking about consenting acts between adults. Are we talking adultery?”

“I ... I don’t think so,” Liz said. “To be honest, I don’t really know for certain. There was partner swapping. That is ... uh ... the guy I was with would also have...”

“It’s sex, Liz,” Rick said. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“If I wasn’t sitting here with my boyfriend, I probably wouldn’t be embarrassed,” Liz said angrily.

I started to stand but Liz shook her head.

“Travis didn’t ask for details,” Liz told everyone. “I told him of the general circumstances and that was enough. But it’s best if he hears everything now if I’m going to have to tell it to a stranger soon.”

She sighed and looked at her friends.

“I was there,” Ryan said. “I can tell it if you want.”

“We need for her to practice it,” Susan said. “She has to come off as contrite but also comfortable with what she learned from the mistakes.”

“Let’s not call them mistakes,” I cut in.

“What else would you call them?” Liz asked.

“Actions,” I said with a shrug. “Yeah, it’s embarrassing to admit some of the things you’ve done. If any of us had to bare our souls we’d be blushing like we farted in church. I’ve done some things I don’t want my mother to know about. We all do. But they helped make me who I am today. I’m more careful today because of actions I made in the past.”

“Good point,” Susan said. “My point is that Liz has to be able to tell her story without sounding like she committed a crime. At the same time, it can’t sound rehearsed. Travis will work with you on the presentation. You’ll be fine. For now, it’s not important that you reveal all the details to us. So, your boyfriend had sex with someone else and their boyfriend had sex with you.”

“Essentially,” Liz admitted with another sad glance at me. “Except it didn’t really involve boyfriends. It was just guys we knew. We had an orgy one night. It was me, Caley, Anastasia, Emelda, a backup singer named Cindy Collins and three guys we knew from the New York club scenes. All the girls were ... with everyone. We were with the guys and we were with ... the other girls. Honestly, I don’t remember a lot of it. I was stoned on X and ... it just happened.”

“Is there any chance a video or still photographs exist of that night?” Rick asked urgently.

“Or of any other night,” Sarah added.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Liz admitted.

“Absolutely, positively not!” Ryan said. “I personally confiscated every single electronic device anytime things got ... out of hand. I was with the label then. I had ... people ... to make sure the guys understood the rules if they talked out of turn. I have names of everyone and I will make it a point to find them and remind them if you want me to.”

“Not just yet,” Rick said. “We don’t want to compound things at this point. OK, so, we’re not talking about you causing a divorce or something like that.”

“No,” Liz said. “I’m almost positive that everyone involved was uncommitted. I mean, it might have caused a breakup. I don’t really know. I broke away shortly thereafter and lost track of everyone for the next five or six months.”

“Not to be indelicate but how often did things like this happen?” Sarah asked.

Liz puffed out her cheeks.

“Every weekend for about six or seven weeks,” Ryan answered for her, “then sporadically for the next three or four years, say one or two weekends a year. Some weekends, there were no guys involved. One of those weekends, there were... 14 ... women including 10 party girls from the clubs.”

Liz closed her eyes tightly. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze but she didn’t look at me.

“Could you track down the party girls if you needed to?” Sarah asked.

“Yes,” Ryan answered. “Look, let’s take a break.”

“I’m OK,” Liz said. I could see it was a lie.

“I think Ryan’s right,” I said.

“I said I’m OK!” Liz repeated. This time it came out as a snarl. “I just want to get through this.”

“You’re not talking about anything that’s wrong,” Susan said. “Uh, in college, before I met Chris, my sorority did something similar. It was harmless ... entertainment.”

“I don’t want to know your secrets, Susan,” Liz said in a soft voice. “I appreciate the lengths you’re willing to go to support me but please don’t say anything that embarrasses you.”

“It’s like Travis said,” Susan replied. “It’s part of what makes me who I am today. It was fun but I figured out that sort of life wasn’t for me. It sounds like you did the same. You experimented like a lot of people do at that age. You tried some things and found they weren’t you so you stopped doing them.”

“Yeah,” Liz said. “I never thought they’d come back to haunt me seven or eight years later.”

“Then don’t let it haunt you,” Jill said. “I think it’s going to make you seem more ... human. Look around the room. Listen to the people on the phone. We’re not going anywhere. You’re not going to lose friends over this, Liz.”

“She’s right,” I said. “I won’t speak for anyone else but I’m not going anywhere. I’m also not surprised by anything you’ve said.”

“Gee, that makes me feel better,” Liz said.

“Let me finish,” I said, shaking my head. “You told me about the nature of your relationship with that group. I suspected there were ... sexual episodes. I didn’t push because, as your boyfriend, it doesn’t matter to me. You said it was in the past and I believe you. As your publicist, I think that a little embarrassment now will save you a lot of embarrassment later. If we get in front of this, we set the narrative. We establish the facts of the story.”

“True,” Rick said. “That sets the bar higher for any narrative that comes afterward. I’m going to be honest with you. From a demographic standpoint, the revelation of a same-sex relationship is going to cost you some fans.”

“An appearance at the LGBT event was going to lose them anyway,” Stephanie pointed out. “We’ve decided they can go fuck themselves.”

“Good,” Susan said. “Now, one thing I want to make sure gets said. Under no circumstances should you ... denigrate ... your partners for their lifestyle. Given today’s culture the backlash will extend well beyond your fan base. If you have any question about whether something you might say could come off as homophobic, please promise that you’ll run your words past Travis or me or Sarah or Rick.”

“I don’t need a speechwriter,” Liz said.

“The hell you don’t,” Sarah said. “You’re paying us to step in when there is a chance you’re going to make an ass of yourself. Well, sweetheart, guess where we are? This has a 50 percent chance of landing right up your ass if you use the wrong words even if they are innocent. If you don’t want or plan to listen to our advice, you might as well shit can us now and bring in a few bootlickers. In case you haven’t figured it out, that ain’t us!”

Liz looked slightly abashed but she nodded.

“OK,” she said. “You’re right. And I wanted you with me for just this reason. I know you’ll call me out when I’m being silly. I hired you to help me in these situations. I know not to use the words ‘dyke’ or ‘homo’ or ‘fag.’”

“But do you know that even showing a hint of shame while talking about a same-sex relationship will be construed as homophobia?” Rick asked. “It’s no different than a slight frown when discussing African-Americans paints you as a racist. Liz, you are, by a wide margin, the most scrutinized person in America. You have more followers on Twitter than any other person even though you rarely say anything meaningful there. Your Instagram account has two million hits a day when you post something new. How this is handled is going to go a long way to determining your future success. If there was a way to avoid this, I would recommend you did. But, I have to agree that the label is likely to stoop to any level. If they think it will cut your appeal, they’ll do it to save them some money. If it becomes obvious that you plan to sign elsewhere, they’ll do it just for spite. Can we agree on these facts?”

“Yeah,” Liz said.

“Good,” Rick said again. “Now, Ryan, you said you were there for most of these things. Who else knows?”

“The number is small,” Ryan admitted. “You have to understand, when this was going on, I was just getting started at the label. My first gig was as Liz’s ... minder. It was my job to make sure she didn’t get into too much trouble and to keep the label apprised of the trouble she did get into. I feel like shit that I said anything and I kept the reports general but...”

“It’s not your fault,” Liz said. “Ryan came aboard at the same time as the arrangement with the modeling agent was put in place. But I already needed a minder. My late teens and early 20s were not a proud time in my life. I treated everybody with contempt. I mean, shit, in two years I went from being an outcast that people avoided to being one of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People. I went from having no friends whatsoever to being Number 18 on Time’s Most Influential People list. It went to my head and I didn’t grow up for a long time. Ryan had a job to do.”

“No one is blaming Ryan,” I said.

“I am,” Ryan said.

“Then stop,” Sarah said sharply.

“I’ll get right on that,” Ryan replied. “I mean, in perspective, I understand. You have to remember, none of us really knew about Liz’s ... childhood. I mean, we’ve met her parents so we knew it wasn’t great. I knew her music dealt with ... bullies and loneliness ... but I didn’t know the depths.”

I held up a hand as a thought I’d been chasing for days finally crystallized.

“That’s our play,” I said. “You can’t take an immature kid, give her wealth and worldwide acclaim and expect her to be perfect.”

“Yeah,” Rick said. “Let’s refine it.”

“We address the immaturity first of all,” Susan cut in. “She was... 16 ... when she was discovered?”

“Fourteen,” Liz said. “I was 15 when I signed and 17 when my first album hit.”

“Uh ... are your parents willing to take some shit over this?” I asked.

Liz shrugged.

“They deserve a helping of it whether they want it or not,” she said.

“True,” I said. “But we can’t dump on them without their knowledge. The last thing we want is them joining in the parade to talk about you. But we can’t address the immaturity without talking about...”

“No!” Liz said.

“Can you hear me out before you decide?” I asked.

“I’m not going to change my mind, but give her hell,” Liz said with a wave of her hand.

“You’ve said, numerous times, that your songs are reflective of your experiences,” Sarah said, taking up the cause for me. “Your first ... four or five ... songs talked about unrequited love, learning to stand up for yourself and feeling like you didn’t matter. I know them by heart, Liz, because I found you when I felt the same way about my life.”

“Yeah,” Rick said softly. “That’s when I found your music. I think I always knew you had a tough time growing up. The feelings your songs evoked were just too ... raw ... for them to be just words. Confirming to the world that you survived assholes and ostracism isn’t going to be a huge revelation ... and it gives a solid background for any decision you made as a young adult.”