Chapter 140

The band was back together.

Or at least that’s how it seemed to me when I walked into Liz’s conference room with her and Morrie Epstein.

“Ain’t this a motley crew,” I said.

“I want Brian to be the drummer!” Jill said, laughing at her own wit.

Her boyfriend, on the other hand, looked befuddled.

Dom leaned over, held his hands a foot apart and whispered in his friend’s ear.

Brian grimaced, lowered his head and shook it.

“That means you have to be the centerfold girl,” I said, coming to my buddy’s defense.

“You toss out the money, I’ll toss off my clothes,” Jill retorted.

“I’ve heard that,” Brian answered with a laugh. Jill’s face went red.

“Damn it!” she muttered before pointing a finger at me. “You need to stay out of things like this!”

I gave a surreptitious glance to her crotch and smirked.

“There are a lot of things I’m not interested in getting into,” I noted.

She gave me the finger and I heard a sigh from my left.

“I think everybody has met Morrie Epstein,” Liz said from that direction.

The lawyer gave a little wave.

“One certainly does have to keep his wits about him around here,” he said. “I’m afraid I let Travis string me along like it was my first day out of law school.”

“He’s a d ... jerk like that,” Jill said, censoring herself at the last moment.

“We’re going to see if George would like to moonlight as his manager on the stand-up comedian tour,” Liz noted drily as she took her seat. “He’s a real laugh a minute. Let me tell you!”

“It’s good to hear laughter out here,” Morrie said. “The last time I was down this way, the place sounded like a mausoleum.”

Skye stepped forward and introduced herself.

“We haven’t been formally introduced even though we’ve spoken on the phone dozens of times,” she said.

Bobbi and Dayton were right behind her.

“I’m sorry,” Liz said. “It seems like we’ve been together forever. I forget that it’s only been a few weeks for some of you.”

“I’ve heard many good things about all of you,” Morrie said.

“It’s never good to lie to a lawyer,” Jill said to Liz. “Because he sure didn’t hear that from me!”

Liz sighed heavily again.

“Can we please be serious?” she asked in a frustrated voice.

“We can,” I said, stepping up to take one for the team. “But don’t you want George to get a real idea of what he’s walking into?”

I looked around the room and saw the usual faces (along with a couple new ones).

Ryan was seated between Dom and Brian; Jill was on Liz’s left side and Skye was on her right. I took a seat down the table along with Dayton and Bobbi, Annette Parma, Liz’s costume designer, Morrie Epstein and Darryl Stanley, Liz’s crew leader. The security team wore dark suits with white shirts and ties of blue (Dom), black (Brian) and gray (Ryan and Dayton). Even the crew leader had on a charcoal gray suit with a black tie over a light gray shirt. The attorney, of course, was decked out in a pinstripe suit with a crisp white shirt and a red “power” tie.

Annette’s attire demonstrated that she knew her profession well. She was an older woman, probably in her middle 50s, but her outfit demonstrated that she was a professional but that she also understood that she wasn’t in her 20s anymore. She had on a white blouse and a dark blue skirt that came past her knees and a matching jacket.

Jill wore a gray skirt that came below her knees and a dark blue blouse. Skye was in a crimson dress that highlighted her long legs and trim waist. Bobbi was dressed similarly to her husband in black pants, a white shirt and a black suit coat. Liz, as a matter of course, dressed professionally during the day. She had a dark blue pantsuit and jacket with a white blouse that buttoned up to her neck.

I, as a matter of course, looked like a pauper but I had put on what Liz had set out for me that morning – a pair of tan linen slacks, a light blue shirt and a dark blue blazer that I wasn’t sure I’d seen before, let alone purchased. I had not put on a tie. I still couldn’t tie it, first of all, and I had nowhere for it to hang with my arm strapped to my waist. I didn’t even have on my best sling – opting for the version I could get into and out of by myself.

We looked professional even if we didn’t always act professionally.

Liz was silent so Jill pressed the point.

“Are you saying we should walk on eggshells around the guy?” she asked.

Liz frowned before she spoke.

“At least until he gets used to us,” she answered.

Most of the eyes in the room turned to look at me – as though I had some say in the matter.

“OK,” I replied with a nod. There was no way I was going to undercut my boss (who happened to be my girlfriend) in front of the people that worked for her. “However you want things.”

I got a grateful smile for my troubles. Well, I got that from Liz. From many of the others I got looks of varying degrees of incredulity. I wasn’t certain if they weren’t sold on the fact I could keep my sarcasm under control or if they opposed any effort to be tamed.

“George Carter is a real force in this industry,” Liz said. “His way of doing things might not mesh well with how we’ve done things so far. We might have to meet him halfway in order to bring him in here.”

Morrie cleared his throat – which I had come to learn was a precursor to a statement.

“Liz, if I may interject,” he said, although he didn’t give her a chance to offer her assent before he continued. “You have worked diligently for many years now to regain your right to control your own future. I would caution you strongly to take a moment to reflect before you willingly cede that control again.”

“That is not what I’m doing,” Liz stated.

Morrie tilted his head slightly to the left. I was happy that he was the one walking point in this particular minefield (and not me or somebody I really knew and liked).

“Aren’t you?” he asked.

His tone was modulated. This wasn’t an accusation. It was an offer to let Liz take a moment to really think about what was happening. I decided I liked Morrie Epstein, too.

“You have, by all accounts, assembled a team that works well with you and together,” he said after a moment. “Perhaps their styles are a bit unorthodox. Perhaps their manner is a bit insouciant. That really is immaterial. The point is that you’ve got a good team around you on a daily basis. You’re bringing in a new member of that team. Unless you’ve changed your mind drastically in the past few days, Mr. Carter is not being hired to coach the team. He’s being hired to ... be a member of the team. I’m not suggesting that a bit of give won’t be necessary on all sides. I’m simply suggesting that it might not be the wisest course to disrupt a formula that has proven successful on account of a newcomer’s sensibilities.”

I decided that I was going to invest in a thesaurus. If I had said something similar (in my usual two-syllables-at-most fashion) I’d be picking parts of my teeth out of my poop for the next couple of days.

Liz sighed and took in the faces around her. Except for Annette, Morrie and Darryl, each of us was around her almost every day. And, except for Annette, Morrie and Darryl, each of us was known to be a pretty big smartass some of the time.

“George Carter isn’t going to be the linchpin to your success,” Ryan spoke up. “Nobody in this room is the linchpin – except you. You were willing to walk into this with Stephanie in the job. Now, I know that events have led you to understand that you need somebody with ... more experience. That’s fine and we accept that. But this team has led you through some pretty perilous times. They did it by providing a sense of humor and by offering perspective on what you were facing – as a person and as an artist. Asking them to alter their outlook at this point is very likely to stymie the parts of them that let them act and react to each other in a way that you’ve not only grown to appreciate but you’ve grown to need.”

Liz shifted her gaze to the big man but his didn’t waver. I had to give him credit.

“This doesn’t affect the security team,” he said. “Yeah, we cut up every now and then but not when we’re on the job. But look around and think if you want Travis or Jill or Skye censoring their thoughts. I don’t think you do. You want the unvarnished opinions they provide. You might not always like the unvarnished opinions they provide but you want them and you need them. Asking them to alter their behavior is going to do one of two things ... neither of them good. You’re going to lose their perspective on matters and become another artist with only one point of view on every subject or you’re going to bring George in under false pretenses and that will lead him to be unhappy if he can’t deal with them ... in their natural environment.”

“We’re not going to fling poo at him like monkeys in the zoo,” I said. “But Ryan and Morrie are probably right. If he comes in thinking Jill is a demure, silent woman, he’s going to be in for a shock.”

Jill started to return what she perceived as an insult (uttered jokingly, of course). She got as far as pointing at me before stopping with her mouth open. I decided to fill the silence.

“She’s an intelligent, vibrant woman with ideas of her own,” I said. “She has been, since the moment you met her, an integral part of your operation. She has a personality that is warm and friendly. You instantly like her and you instantly relax around her. But part of her charm is her ... wit. And that wit comes from poking fun at everything and everyone. We’ll do exactly as you want us to do. If you want us to sit here with our hands folded in front of us then that’s how we’ll act. If you want us to behave more professionally in the future, then I think it is safe to say that we will do our best to meet that expectation. Just don’t get upset if we slip from time to time. You’re asking us to make a stark change not only in our personalities but in the working relationships we’ve developed over the past several months. I just wanted to make sure you understand that and aren’t going to be angry if we slip up from time to time.”

Jill offered a grateful smile but I focused more on Liz. She didn’t look overly pleased – in spite of the fact I had just reiterated what Ryan and Morrie had already said.

“Yeah,” she said after a moment.

The occupants of the table exchanged glances, none of us entirely certain what the word meant.

“The atmosphere here is relaxed and that helps keep me relaxed,” she said after another long pause. “But we need to judge George’s reaction before we include him in the jokes. I’ve not met him. He might be perfectly fine with the ... strange ... senses of humor around here. But if he is buttoned down then I don’t want anyone trying to draw him out. OK?”

We all nodded – even Annette, Darryl, Morrie, Bobbi and Dayton.

“And, for today, let’s try to keep a lid on things,” she said. “I’m not saying that you can’t make a joke or say something humorous. But no wet willies or wedgies.”

“We’d have to be wearing panties to get a wedgie,” Jill said. “Sorry, I just had to get it out of my system. I’ll be good now.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Liz said, smiling at her friend.

“I’m sure she’ll...” I began before stopping myself abruptly before I got to the “release a video at some point” part.

Jill grinned.

“Uh-huh,” she said nodding at me. “Now you know how it feels.”

Liz introduced her team to the new arrival, starting with Ryan. She introduced Dom and Brian as her assistant heads of security, so it seemed they had been given a promotion (or at least a nice title).

“My brother and I are big fans of your work,” George Carter said, pumping each of the men’s hands vigorously.

Bobbi and Dayton were introduced as Liz’s “close protection detail” and also got a warm reception. Liz worked her way around the room with George taking in names, faces and titles while shaking hands.

I was the last one at the table.

“And this is Travis Blakely,” Liz said. “He’s my publicist and he’s representing the public relations department that has already relocated to California.”

“I think he’s a little more than that,” George said, extending his left hand to me. “As I said, I’m a big fan of your work – and your fastball. I’m very sorry that you men were injured but it’s heartening to see that you’re working your way back to full health.”