Chapter 118

Melinda arrived back at the house while I was in the middle of my two o’clock exercises. She popped into the room, waved a big bag at me, smiled and departed. Ciera gave me a questioning look but I ignored her.

The last thing I wanted to do was get into my personal situation with someone as young as Ciera Goodman.

Besides, I had to focus on my exercises.

“Very good,” Ciera told me with a nod. “Maybe we should try to have our sessions somewhere with fewer distractions. You seem really focused this afternoon.”

I nodded but didn’t elaborate.

“We can use the university training room for the next couple of weeks,” she offered.

“No, it’s OK here,” I said. “I just decided today that I need to push things out of my head for a couple of hours each day. We’ll be fine. It’s a huge disruption for everybody if I want to go somewhere by myself.”

“Sure,” Ciera said.

We managed to get through the additional sets without much more conversation. She helped me back into my soft sling and was heading out the door when everybody else came up the steps.

They were all laughing but Conny’s eyes went wide when she saw my arm.

“Whoa, shit,” she muttered. Melissa snagged her arm and pulled her past but I saw her head turn as she tried to look closer at my mangled appendage. I had worn a shirt with the sleeves cut off because they were easier for me to get into and out of, unlike the day before where I had most of my arm covered.

“It’s OK,” I said. “But you might want to wait if you’ve eaten recently.”

Conny shook loose from Melissa and came back to where I stood.

“You know, Evan had his quad torn and reattached,” she said. She seemed to have no trouble with regurgitating her lunch because she reached out and ran a hand over the scars. “He’s had two knee surgeries and his Achilles’ fixed. He’s been through rehab a dozen times since college. He just finished rehabbing his knee a couple of months ago. If you need somebody to talk to about what’s going on, give him a call. He won’t mind.”

“I have a dozen people that continually want to talk to me about what’s going on,” I noted with a vague gesture around the room.

“Yeah,” Conny said. “But he knows firsthand. It’s not just stuff he’s read or heard about. He knows how frustrating it can be. There have been times when he’s wondered if it was worth it to keep working.”

“I haven’t gotten to that point yet,” I said. I saw Liz tilt her head so I clarified. “I’ve wondered if I was working on the right things but I haven’t considered quitting yet.”

“Everybody reaches that point,” Ciera said. “Isn’t he in training camp?”

“The preseason starts next month and it will be January before I see him again,” Conny said. “Unless he gets hurt again, that is.”

“I’ll call him if I get to the point I want to give up,” I promised.

“Can I ... take a picture and send it to him?” Conny asked. “I know a lot of his teammates. They all have scars that they like to show off. This will shut them up for a few minutes.”

I was about to give her permission when she continued.

“Better not,” she said. “Some of those assholes would release it to the tabloids if they saw it. I’ll just show him when he gets home. I won’t let him keep nudes of me on his phone because I don’t want one of the equipment guys or one of his teammates walking off with it.”

I shook my head. The idea that Conny Woodson, the quintessential All-American girl, might have nude pictures made my mind go blank.

“I made sure all of mine were deleted before the divorce was finalized,” Melissa added.

Conny nodded her agreement and I looked to the other faces for help ... only to find Mickey giving me a hard stare.

I held up a hand.

“None,” I promised.

“Yet,” Liz said, winking at me.

“I better go,” Ciera said quickly. I had no doubt that there were hundreds – if not thousands – of risqué pictures of that young woman out in the ether somewhere. “I’ll see you at 10. Don’t forget to do at least one more rep tonight.”

I nodded but Liz pointed at the young woman.

“Let Bill know that we need to have a meeting with him as soon as possible,” Liz said.

“Travis has told me,” Ciera said with a frown. “For the record, I strongly disagree with Travis’s idea. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I disagree. He’s made good progress this weekend and I think he still has a chance for full recovery.”

“Good to know,” Liz said. “That’s not what we want to talk to Bill about. Have him call me when he gets in Monday.”

The girl looked startled but nodded her agreement. Then she made a hasty exit.

“She’s probably worried you’re going to tell her boss that she’s been using Travis for quick gropes,” Jill said.

“She should probably be worried about that,” Liz said, frowning at the now-closed door. “But Travis seems to get a kick out of it so I won’t mention it.”

“If it isn’t that or changing the routine, then why do you need to talk to him?” I asked.

“It’s about what we talked about earlier,” Liz said. “You know, hiring somebody on full-time. Conny said the private therapist Evan used is available. If we’re going to do this, I think we should do it as quickly as possible.”

I hadn’t actually decided if I wanted to go that route but I let it go. I had remembered something else we’d talked about earlier and I wanted to attend to that before everybody ran off to their activities.

“Can I see you for a minute ... privately?” I asked.

That drew a host of oohs and ahhs from the assembled audience, particularly when Liz started to lead me to her office but I directed her to the stairwell.

“Did that little skank get you all wound up?” Liz asked with a laugh as we neared the bedroom. The bag Melinda had procured was sitting right outside the door so I scooped it up on the way in and dumped it on the bed. There were six home pregnancy kits, all of different brands.

Liz looked at them and back to me.

“How... ?” she began.

“I called Melinda to see if she would stop on the way home,” I admitted.

“I thought about that,” Liz said. “She’s...”

“Trustworthy,” I supplied when Liz faltered. “Yeah. I started to think about who I’d trust to handle such a delicate task and she was at the top of my list. So I called her. She was happy to do it ... or so she said.”

“She’d have told you if she wasn’t,” Liz said as she picked up one at random and started to read the instructions. “I guess I just pee on this. Kinky. Wanna watch?”

“No,” I said, laughing as she scooped the entire selection up and headed toward the bathroom. She was clearly excited at the prospect of learning our fate. I just sat down on the edge of the bed and waited.

It was only a few moments later when Liz remerged with a towel in her hand. She put the towel on the dresser and then put two sticks down.

“How long do we have to wait?” I asked as I joined her in staring at the white plastic objects.

“Just a minute or so,” Liz said. I put my arm around her waist and we watched.

The one on the left changed first. A red line appeared seconds before a blue X appeared on the second one.

“What’s it mean?” I asked. I supposed I thought it would be a little clearer ... like a neon green flashing sign that screamed “knocked up” or something.

Liz pulled out the instructions and looked at them. She frowned and moved to the second set.

“Shit,” she said.

Her reply answered exactly none of my questions.

“Shit what?” I asked.

Liz shook her head slightly. I noticed her chin was resting on her chest (and it wasn’t just from looking down at the tests).

“Damn,” I said. Despite the fact I hadn’t reached a consensus in my head about the thought of pregnancy I found I was disappointed in the outcome. “I guess that means we can just keep trying.”

Liz looked up at me and I gave her a soft squeeze.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t ... just go back on birth control?” she asked.

I gave the question a moment of consideration.

“That’s up to you,” I said. “If you’re not ready then I think you should.”

“I’m ready,” Liz said. “I was worried about you not being ready.”

I offered a slight shrug.

“I’m not sure anybody is ever really ready,” I admitted. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about things ... about what this would mean for us.”

“And?” Liz pressed.

“And nothing,” I confessed. “I ran the scenarios around in my head a dozen times and came up with nothing concrete. I know I was disappointed just now. But it’s something we should consider and discuss. I ... I think we need to decide how we’re going to raise a child before we actually conceive one.”

“What do you mean?” Liz asked with a tilted head.

“It’s just some of the things I thought about,” I said. “We’ve never really talked about ... childrearing. I’m not sure I want to be like Conny and Evan and have a nanny at the house all the time. I know they need somebody like that because of their active lives. But I want my child to be raised a lot like I was. I don’t want to hand them a pony when they’re five, a car when they’re 16. I want them to know the value of work.”

“And you don’t think I do?” Liz wondered.

“I don’t know,” I replied. I refused to respond to the anger I’d heard in her voice. “It’s not something we’ve discussed. I’m not even sure how things were at your house. Did you have chores when you were growing up?”

Liz frowned slightly.

“Not really,” she said. “Mom and Dad were home all the time so there wasn’t much for me to help out with. We didn’t eat together very often so I didn’t have to set the table or do the dishes. The house was always cluttered so I didn’t have to straighten up or anything. It’s not like they permitted their visitors to come inside. They did most of their business at the grow shed around back. I wasn’t permitted in there – ever.”

She sighed and glanced at her phone. I’d heard a text arrive but hadn’t mentioned it. She read the message and sighed.

“It’s not something we have to decide right this minute,” I pointed out. “We’ll think about things and then talk before your doctor’s appointment. That’s Wednesday, right?”

“Yeah,” Liz said with a forlorn look at the pregnancy kit. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You need to get ready for the show tonight.”

“What are you going to do?” Liz asked.

I puffed out my cheeks. I had made another decision that day but I wasn’t sure I wanted to share it with anybody. Liz’s gaze made me change my mind.

“The Indians and Orioles are on Saturday Night Baseball,” I said. “I’m going to try to watch it.”

Liz’s mouth dropped slightly.

“Dayton was talking about it with Bobbi,” I said. “She doesn’t like baseball at all but he does. I thought it might be about time for me to get over things. I’ll do one more set of exercises tonight then he and I are going to watch the game and drink a beer or two.”

“Really?” Liz asked.

“I’ve been thinking about a lot of things while I can’t really do anything else,” I admitted. “I’ve always loved watching baseball. From the time I was old enough to hold a ball in my hand, I’ve loved the game. I loved to play it; I loved to watch it. Hell, Liz, when I was a kid, I had notebooks full of statistics from all the Indians players that I would update every single day. I was like Mitchell.”