Chapter 108

It took only a single phone call from the PR team to get me booked on “At Night, Tonight.” They were willing to do a late taping if I wanted to drive right up from San Diego.

I didn’t so we elected to drive up the following morning.

Like most late-night shows, “At Night, Tonight” taped its segments in the middle of the day to be replayed after the 11 o’clock news. We made our decision early enough that the host, Denny Daniels, had time to alter the end of the Tuesday show to promote my appearance the following night.

A famous movie star had been bumped to the following evening to accommodate my appearance. We all drove up together. Liz was going to try to lessen the paparazzi presence by paying a visit to Caley Cross, who was in the 45th day of her stay in rehab and sounded as though she was planning to stay for 45 more days.

We split off at a parking garage not far from the Burbank studio where I would be expected to sit down and talk about myself for 17 minutes. I wasn’t sure I could use up 17 seconds without getting repetitive.

Melissa and Lucas both assured me that the host was pretty adept at drawing out his guests. The show wasn’t the highest-rated show of its type. It usually ran second but often dipped to third in the overnight ratings. We had selected the show by default.

The highest-rated show had a host that tended to make fun of his guests if they came unprepared for a 20-minute monologue. I had watched his show before and I didn’t mind it when he skewered celebrities. But I also knew I’d punch him in the mouth if he tried it with me.

Apparently, other people understood that about me, too. The lower-rated show had an audience that trended older. The host had been part of the late-night scene for almost 25 years. I could remember my mother and father watching him back when his content was fresh and new.

His audience had aged at the same rate as the host. People in the 50s and 60s were not Liz’s target audience – and thus were less likely to give a shit about anything I might have to say.

I saw their point. I generally didn’t give a shit about anything I said – particularly if I said it about myself.

Liz gave me a warm kiss before I transferred to a different vehicle for the short ride to the studio. Ryan had planned to accompany me but had changed plans when he learned that Liz was headed to the rehab center. He had been extremely pissed when Liz and I had made the trip by ourselves a few weeks earlier.

That left Jill to accompany Dayton and me to the network’s studio.

A pleasant young woman met us once we were through the security cordons and shook hands not only with me but with Jill and Dayton, too.

“We’re wrapping up the monologue now,” she explained. “We’ll do the musical guest and then get you into wardrobe and makeup while Denny visits with the middle guest. Is that OK with you? We can rearrange the schedule if it’s a problem.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “Just point me in the right direction and we’ll be OK.”

I got a nice smile from the woman before she accompanied us to what she called the “Green Room.” It wasn’t green. It was beige with blue carpet that had the network’s logo in the middle. I didn’t ask about the name, though.

We were barely through the door when another young woman appeared in front of me. This one was far younger than our hostess. In fact, I would have bet that she was younger than the teenagers that had accosted me the day before.

But the greeting was the same.

“Oh my God!” she said effusively. “They said you were going to be here! Oh my God! Can we get a picture before I go in for makeup? It would be so straight. Our fans will shit if we tweet a snap of us together.”

I looked at Jill to see if she knew who this kid might be. I sure as hell didn’t.

“Can we give Travis a second to get his bearings, Miss Hart?” Jill asked sweetly. “This is all sort of new to him.”

“Totally,” the kid said. “I’ve done this thousands of times but I can see where it could get to be shitty for somebody not used it. Just give me a shout. I gotta call some of my girls to tell them.”

She already had the phone to her ear as she walked away.

“Who the fuck is that?” I muttered softly to Jill.

“Regina Hart,” Jill explained.

“She’s a big name on KidsTV,” Dayton added. “She has her first feature film coming out next week.”

Jill lifted an eyebrow. Dayton was in his middle 30s and the kid looked to be about 12.

“I looked her up when I heard she was going to be here,” Dayton said with his hands up in protest. “I didn’t know that you were coming and I doubted Travis would have any idea who she was. I’d never heard of her.”

“A likely excuse,” Jill said, winking at the flustered man. “You’ve probably been stalking her. God knows that she posts every single detail of her life on Instagram.”

I sat down and accepted a bottle of water from Jill. I pulled my talking points out of my jacket to go over them again. I had enough material to last three minutes if I stammered a lot.

Jill sat down next to me.

“OK, Regina Hart,” she said. “She’s 16... 17 next month.”

“No shit?” I asked, glancing over at the girl that was still entranced with her phone. She wasn’t speaking into it. Instead her fingers were flying across the buttons as she texted somebody.

“It’s what her bio says,” Jill said. “I guess we could cut her in half and count the rings. Anyway, she’s on ‘Witches Brew’ on KidsTV. It’s like a supernatural vampire thing for tweenagers. Her first movie is out next week. It’s an action-adventure flick. She’s in it to bring in the younger crowd. The lead is Sawyer Forrest. He’s like 60 or something. He’s not a big draw with the youngsters. I guess there is a scene with her in her underwear that’s supposed to help bring in the dollars.”

“Seriously?” I asked.

“It’s the way it plays out here,” Jill said.

I was glad to see that Dayton was looking as unhappy as I was about the idea of exploiting a teenager to put people into movie seats.

“It’s no biggie,” Jill said. “She posts pictures of herself in a bikini or a bra all the time. A day doesn’t go by when she doesn’t take a picture of her ass for the world to see.”

She turned her phone around and I saw the young woman across from me wearing a lacy bra and panties set. The photo had been taken in a mirror and she was holding the phone in her hand with her back to the camera.

“Yeah, fine,” I said.

“Wait until I tell Liz you said that girl had a fine ass,” Jill said in a whisper that ended with a laugh. I lowered my head and shook it. “Hey, just relax and be yourself. It’ll be fine. But if you’re going to have a picture with her you should probably do it quickly. She’ll be going into wardrobe pretty soon. You wouldn’t want her wandering out here in her skivvies if you forget.”

I rolled my eyes at her but she just smiled wider.

It took me a moment to understand that the numerous other people in the room had accompanied the young TV actress. I did a quick count and came up with 13 people around her. Some were pretty obvious. There was a woman in her early 40s that looked too much like the actress to be anybody but her mother. There was a younger girl that was obviously a sister. She looked bored and slightly defiant.

I smiled when she caught my eye. She gestured to her sister and then mimicked gagging herself.

“That’s Madelyn Hart,” Jill whispered. I realized that she was watching me very carefully. “She’s Regina’s mother. The other one is a sister ... either Victoria or Arabella. She has two.”

“What about the rest of them?” I asked.

“Handlers, tutors, managers, assistants, security,” Jill said with a shrug. “It’s the same sort of team Liz would bring to something like this.”

I nodded even though I thought she was wrong. Liz would bring Skye, me and one or two security. She also wouldn’t let them pick over every single item on the buffet but that was another story.

I caught the younger Hart girl coming my way so I stood and offered a hand.

“Hi,” I said. “I’m Travis Blakely.”

“Good Lord,” the kid said. “Anybody that doesn’t know that is a moron.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I wasn’t trying to imply that. It’s just a lot to get used to.”

“If you start to get used to it, put a gun in your mouth,” the young girl told me. “Because you’ve lost your mind.”

The laughter that sprang from my throat was completely natural.

“I think you’re right,” I said to the smiling girl. “Are you Victoria or Arabella?”

“Vicki,” the girl answered. “I like Vicki better. So you know my sister, huh?”

“Uh, no,” I admitted. I leaned in closer to her – but stayed far enough away that she didn’t think I was a predator. “I’d never heard of her. Jill has been filling me in so I don’t look like a total idiot.”

This time it was the girl that burst into laughter.

“She found out yesterday that you were going to be here,” Vicki confided. “She probably spent half the night with her hand in her panties.”

I covered my eyes.

“Sorry,” the kid said. “You grow up quick around these people.”

“I guess,” I said. “Uh, are you in ... show business?”

“God, no,” Vicki said, glancing back over her shoulder. “I’m the normal one. Mom trotted my ass out for a commercial when I was six. I sat down and cried so I wouldn’t have to do it. She asks me every year if I want to give it another try. I’d rather jump off a bridge than put up with this stuff.”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “I like hanging out with Liz but I could do without the dog and pony show.”

“Then why are you here?” she asked.

“I have no idea,” I admitted.

“Yes, you do!” Jill cut in.

“They convinced me that people are interested in what I have to say,” I said. “Now that I’m actually here ... it’s a ridiculous idea.”

“No it isn’t,” Vicki told me. “I like you. You’re ... normal ... like me. It was cool that you wanted the fans to send donations to help people.”

She glanced over her shoulder again.

“That one would want to have every single flower put in her room so she could tell herself how much everybody loves her,” she continued. “She’d throw the cards into the trash because the love is only one way. But you are answering cards and letters. I’ve seen your website. You actually interact with the people there. It’s way cool. She has a fan club where the members pay a hundred bucks a year for an autographed picture or something. For a hundred bucks a year, I’d send them her used underwear or something.”

“We’re ready for you in makeup, Miss Hart,” the women from earlier said. Regina Hart turned and saw me talking to her sister. She offered a frown to us both but her manager was already ushering out of the room.

“I’ll get the picture after your segment, Travis,” Regina said as she exited followed by her entourage. It took me a second to realize that they had completely ignored the child in front of me.

“Shouldn’t you go with them?” I asked.

“I like to see how long it takes them to miss me,” Vicki said with a wry grin. “I once stayed in my room for three days before anybody came looking for me. Four more years and I am out of the circus for good.”

“Four years?” I asked.

“When I turn 18,” she said. “I get to leave my psychotic mother; my narcissistic sisters and get to have a life of my own that doesn’t revolve around them.”

“Siblings are tough,” Dayton said with a knowing nod. “My older brother was Mr. Everything, you know. He was the starting quarterback, the Homecoming King – and a royal pain in my butt.”

“You know where I’m coming from,” Vicki said.

“Funny thing is ... life has a way of tilting the scales,” Dayton continued with a nod. “Now, I’m the successful one – a Marine, a police officer and now part of Miss Larimer’s security detail. My brother couldn’t figure out how to translate the early success to maturity. He was still trying to be Homecoming King when he’d been out of school for 10 years. Now he’s 40, working at a factory and living hand to mouth.”