Chapter 71: Talk, Talk, Talk

September, 1985, Chicago, Illinois

"Going with Bethany to see Andrew was interesting," Kara said on Saturday night while she, Jessica, and I were sitting in the backyard while I puffed on my pipe.

"How so?" Jessica asked.

"I'm still not sure why he asked her," Kare replied, "or why she accepted. From talking to her on the way back home, I know why she moved up the wedding date and why she slept with him. But why she refused your proposal is confusing."

"She moved up the date because I decided to ask you and Jess to marry me a week after she broke the news," I said. "She slept with him to try to hurt me for actually getting engaged. As for the first part, there's still something fundamentally wrong with Bethany. She wants me to help her figure it out, but I think she's going to need some professional help as well."

"I'm done seeing Doctor Alborg as of our engagement," Kara said. "I don't think I need his help now. I have you and Jess!"

"I'd say you've changed. Everyone has noticed. And you've even reconciled with Joyce."

"Because Doctor Alborg helped me realize what really happened."

"Oh?" I said.

Jessica leaned forward in her chair with anticipation.

"It wasn't that I was disgusted with what I did," Kara said. "It was that I liked it and that scared me because of everything that my dad and Kent van der Meer had taught me. And that was what made me struggle with the whole 'damned to hell' idea. And that is what made me think that what Steve and I did was wrong, and I don't mean just with Joyce. I think my mom knew instinctively what I needed. I told Steve that my mom had said she was going to have Steve come over and fuck me until I regained my senses. Maybe she should have."

Jess laughed, "Kind of the opposite of having your brains screwed out?"

Kara smiled, "You can say the word 'fuck', Jess."

"I just don't prefer the coarse words. It's OK if you use them, but I'd rather not."

"I used to be like that," Kara replied. "Then Steve started teasing me about what he was going to do with me, and suggesting that I was eventually going to beg him to do things I originally thought were disgusting. He was right!"

"It's hard to believe you were that conservative," Jessica said. "You've come from being an evangelical goody two-shoes to making a pornographic videotape!"

"We never got around to that because of Bethany," Kara said. "I returned the camera and tripod on Tuesday, completely unused. We'll have to find another time."

"Can we go back to Andrew?" I asked.

"He was pretty pissed, especially at you," Kara said. "He thinks you convinced Bethany to break it off with him. She tried to tell him that wasn't the case, but I don't think he bought it. He tried to talk her into taking him back, but she simply set his ring on the table in front of him and refused to touch it again. And she was wearing your necklace, outside her sweater."

"No wonder he blames me," I sighed. "That was really a provocation!"

"It was her way of telling him that he'd crossed the line by trying to keep her from being your friend. He got the message. But I'm not sure he got the right message."

"How did they leave it?" Jessica asked.

"She told him she didn't want to see him again and that he should just forget about her and move on. She was crystal clear and there is no way he misunderstood."

"Good," I said. "I hope he listens. He seemed a bit volatile when he came to the house."

"I think it was you. Didn't you say that's what set Gene off?" Kara asked.

"I guess so. Well, if he stays away, there isn't an issue."

I finished my pipe and tapped it out. The girls finished their grape sodas, and then we headed up to my room. After a bit of intense kissing between the three of us, the girls went to Kara's room to change into their pyjamas, and I changed into mine. I was waiting in bed for them when they returned. Kara turned off the lights, and they got into bed with me, snuggling close.

On Sunday morning, after breakfast, Jessica and Bethany disappeared for a walk. Jessica had shown me that when she encountered a challenge, or a difficult situation, that she simply took the bull by the horns and addressed whatever it was bluntly and directly, in the way I suspected an Emergency Room doctor would. In this case, though, I suspected it was for Jessica to get to know Bethany correctly. She confirmed that an hour later, when she, Kara, and I were drinking tea in the Indian room.

"She's a fantastic young woman," Jessica said. "She's also terribly confused and hurting. Encourage her to get some professional help, in addition to your helping her."

"I assume she filled you in on more details about our relationship?"

"Yes. She's very upset that she let you 'slip through her grasp', as she put it. She also assured me that she wasn't going to try to break us up or steal you away. She needs you as her friend, Tiger, and you need to be her friend. Just remember your promise to me."

"I do. And I told Bethany that I'd made the promise and that I was going to keep it."

"She told me. But your track record on keeping that promise is pretty spotty. In fact, you're oh for one."

"He's a different person than when he cheated on me with Becky," Kara said. "And Bethany is NOT Becky. It's obvious that Bethany wants him, but she'd never, ever, pull the stunt that Becky pulled and try to seduce him."

"He wants her as well," Jessica said. "That's obvious, too."

"And he wanted Kathy Jaeger, and yet he turned her down when she offered. Well, she wasn't married at that point, but that's his lifelong crush. And he resisted something a lot of people would have bet that he couldn't. Please trust him on this, Jess."

"What did Reagan say? 'Trust, but verify'?" Jessica asked. "Is this a test? You're darned right that it is. If he wants any freedom, freedom of any kind, in the future, he has to pass it."

"Don't start being a bitch, Jess," Kara said firmly. "You promised it wasn't an automatic 'no'. You can't change that now."

Jessica smiled, "It won't be an automatic 'no', assuming he can demonstrate self-control. That's the one thing that worries me about him, and it's a legitimate concern given his history. He's had some pretty severe lapses. I've heard it from you, from Bethany, from Jennifer, from his sister, and from Elyse.

"All of you warned me about it, not from the standpoint of telling me not to get involved with him, but of where he was going to struggle. We have to help him with that. Part of it is demonstrating self-control between now and December 15th. Part of it is you and me taking him to a sexual nirvana he's never experienced before. And part of it is being comfortable with what he proposes, very occasionally."

Kara smirked, "Sexual nirvana? That he's never experienced? That's a pretty tall order! And you're a virgin!"

"Which means, like you, I will learn from the man I need to please, and who will please me, for the rest of my life. And have erotic experiences with a woman who knows how to please him and has at least some experience pleasing another woman. I may be a dominant personality out here, but in the bedroom, I want him to be completely in charge. Just like you do. But that has to wait for Stockholm in December."

"All of it?" Kara asked.

Jessica nodded slowly, "Yes. The erotic tension is building. I want it to build more. Just kisses, nothing more. And, if you two are up to the challenge, I want you to spend a month apart before the wedding. Cuddling is OK, of course, and so are kisses. But nothing more. Are you two game?"

I smiled, "I did something similar to that with Jennifer when we were getting back together after Birgit died. Somebody will have to tell Elyse!"

Kara smiled, "I'll talk to her. She'll just have to get it all out of her system by November 15th!"

"So you'll do it?" Jessica said.

"Sure," I said.

"Yes," Kara agreed. "We held off for a long time between Christmas and when we finally got back together. Of course, Snuggle Bear had other outlets which he doesn't have now!"

Jessica smiled, "He's the one who got me on this true intimacy kick, so he only has himself to blame!"

We finished our tea and then Jessica went to pack her bag so that she could head back to Indianapolis. When she'd finished, Kara and I walked her out to her car and, after hugs and kisses all around, she got into her car and drove off.

Kara and I walked back inside and got bottles of Dr Pepper from the fridge, then went out to the back yard.

"It's interesting watching you two interact," Kara said.

"I could say the same thing about you!" I said.

"Jessica is very dominant, but I've noticed that she's only targeting very specific behavior. She wants you to be the man, but like a surgeon, she wants to cut out the small things that are bothering her."

"I don't see a problem with that," I replied. "She's never once interfered in my business, or even with my friends. Wanting to fix the things she's trying to fix is something that lots of girls have wanted to fix but couldn't. I think it's because Jessica is realistic. She found a balance; you know that Swedish word that I like, «lagom» — just right."

"She's good for you," Kara observed.

"And so are you," I said. "You two make a great team. I couldn't be happier."

"Good! Here come Kathy and Bethany."

"Hi," I said.

"Kara, do you mind if we borrow him?" Bethany asked.

"I can't give permission for THAT!" she giggled. "But if you want to talk to him, sure!"

"Just talk," Bethany said. "Kathy is a married woman now and I won't be the one that causes Steve to break his word to you and Jessica."

I got up and followed the girls to the Indian room.

"Bethany wants us to help her," Kathy said.

"I know. That's good. But I think you need to see a professional, too, Sweetheart."

"You're using that pet name again?" Kathy asked.

"Yes," I replied firmly. "I made a mistake. I won't make it again."

The three of us sat down in the basket chairs and I asked Bethany to start at the beginning — what she was thinking when she went to the party that night when she was thirteen.

"I really was ready to have sex," Bethany said. "You know how I am, and if Josh had just waited, just taken me on one date, I'd have had sex with him willingly. I was so ready I could burst! But he took what he wanted without caring what I wanted. And that's where all of this started."

As we talked, Kathy contributed some of her own story, because she and Bethany had been such close friends. I got more information about her first time at age fifteen, and how terrible it had been.

"I was with a football player in the back of his Plymouth making out after a football game," Kathy related. "He wanted to, I really wasn't sure, but it was what cheerleaders were supposed to do. My mom said it was a way to keep guys happy, and so I let him pull down my cheerleading shorts and shove it in. It hurt like hell at first, but then it was over so quickly that I didn't even have much time to think about it. But I let him do it again, and then with other football players. And then I met you."

I shook my head, "Did ANY of the football players have any respect for girls?"

"Napoleon always did," Bethany said. "And Gary Hardofer wasn't too bad. But otherwise? No. Girls were just things to use. And Kathy let them use her. I didn't, but only because Josh raped me before I got trapped in that horrible situation."

"But what about Michelle Bateman?" I asked.

Kathy laughed, "She was something like Jessica, at least until the end of Senior year. She put such a high value on her pussy that nobody was going to get near it. Michelle saying that she preferred girls was just part of her defense strategy. Well, she wanted you, but that was more of an attempt to humiliate Tracey Jones than it was to give it up to you. She would have, just to be a bitch to Tracey."

"That makes no sense to me," I said. "And besides, Tracey turned out to be a FAR better lay than any of those other cheerleaders could probably dream of. Well, present company excepted."

"Most of them were like me," Kathy said. "But there were a few that I hear were decent. And no, I am NOT sharing that list!"

"I don't want it. Even before Jessica, I had no interest in any cheerleaders except you two. And I still don't."

"And that's where I formed my view on men," Bethany said. "At least until I met you."

We talked about how she and Kathy thought back then, and I began to see hints of what ultimately had prevented Bethany from saying 'yes' to me. In many ways, I looked like what the football players bragged about being — studs who had scores of women. Of course, by comparing notes with other girls, they'd discovered that there had been a lot of bragging about things that had never happened. While I listened to them, I tried to figure out how things had gone so well for Kathy and so badly for Bethany. The rape was part of it, but only part.

This wasn't something we were going to solve today, or in a week, or even a month. Bethany had some serious work to do to get past whatever it was that caused her to walk away from what she'd sworn she'd wanted. After we had talked for a couple of hours, we went to join the rest of our friends who were there for the usual Sunday afternoon gatherings. I was happy to see Andrei and Natalya there.

"Hello, Andrushka and Natasha!" I grinned.

"Hello, Stepa!" Andrei said.

"Hi, Steve," Natalya said with a laugh.

"Not interested in playing name games?" I asked.

"No. And what's this I hear about you getting engaged?"

"I did," I said with a sly grin. "To Kara over there. But also to Jessica, a girl from Indianapolis."

"You can't get engaged to two girls!" she protested.

"Steve not only can, but did," Julia said. "And he'll marry both of them, though not legally."

"Are you Mormon?" Natalya asked. "They believe in stuff like that."

"No. I just think it's the right thing for me."

"Father Basil would have a heart attack," Andrei said, "and the bishop would have a stroke!"

"I can imagine," I replied with a smile. "There's a lot to like about Orthodoxy, but I think this choice of mine pretty much stands in the way of being members of the church."

"Uh, yeah!" Andrei chuckled.

"That's a problem for much later, assuming it's a path I'd want to go down. How are your classes going, Natasha?"

"CS100 is pretty easy. It's FORTRAN, but it's not that difficult because I already knew BASIC. I'm going to start coming here on Saturdays next week. I talked to Charlie and Wen, and we're going to try to get a good group of CS students together, kind of like you and Dave did. You aren't here very much, are you?"

"Not on the weekends. Either I'm in Indianapolis, or hanging out with Jessica and Kara. But I'll try to make some time for you guys if you want. Jessica and Kara both have plenty of studying to do."

"That would be awesome! Thanks!"

Wen came over and hugged me.

"Congratulations! Charlie told me what happened and while it's a bit out of the ordinary, I hope you are very happy!"

"I am. How's the internship at Nuvatec?"

"Fantastic. I'm learning a lot. You set a pretty high standard that I have to match, but I can do it."