Chapter 69: Disaster

September, 1985, Chicago, Illinois

The plans for making the video quickly vanished as I followed Kara to the room then she and Bethany shared. I stopped suddenly, pained to see Bethany lying on her bed clutching a pillow with her knees pulled up. Her body was wracked by sobs as she cried into her pillow.

"Bethany," I said softly.

I got no response, so I sat on the edge of the bed and gently put my hand on her shoulder.

"Bethany," I said again. "It's Steve and Kara. What's wrong?"

Once again, there was no response other than sobbing. Something had gone terribly wrong, and while I didn't know for sure, I was fairly certain something bad had happened with Andrew. What that was, only Bethany knew, and she was in no shape to tell us. Kara put her hand on my arm and beckoned me from the room.

"Call Kathy," she whispered. "They weren't going on the outing to Indiana Dunes."

I nodded and went to my room and dialed Kurt and Kathy's number. Kurt answered and quickly put Kathy on the phone.

"I need you here, right now!" I said with urgency. "Kara and I came home and found Bethany having some kind of complete meltdown."

"Shit!" Kathy swore. "This was her weekend away with Andrew! OK. We're on our way. See you in thirty minutes, tops."

"Thanks!" I said, hearing her hang up before the word was fully out of my mouth.

"She's on her way," I said. "Half-hour at the most. Why don't you sit with Bethany, at least in the room, and keep an eye on her. I'll go put some water on for tea."

"OK," Kara said.

I went to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. I wondered if I should call Bethany's parents, but I didn't want to worry them unnecessarily. I still had Doctor Mercer's emergency number handy, and thought about calling it, but I didn't really know anything to tell her. I didn't have Doctor Alborg's emergency number, though I thought Kara might, as she still saw him once a month. I went and unlocked the front door, so that Kathy and Kurt could simply walk in, as they had been doing for years, and then went upstairs.

"The kettle is on," I said quietly.

"I think she fell asleep. She's quiet, but she's breathing. I checked the bathroom and her nightstand and didn't find any pill bottles or anything."

"Thank heaven for small favors," I said.

A few minutes later, I heard the kettle whistle, so I went downstairs and made a pot of mint tea, which was one of Bethany's favorites. I took the pot and five cups and put them in the Indian room. I wasn't sure who Bethany would be willing to talk to, if she was willing to talk at all, so I just took enough cups for everyone. I lit the tea candle in the warmer and set the teapot on it, and then went back upstairs.

About five minutes later, Kathy came into the room.

"Why don't you two go downstairs," Kathy said. "Let me see if I can at least get her to talk."

"I think she's sleeping," Kara said.

"OK. Go on. Wait downstairs."

"We'll be in the Indian room," I said.

We went downstairs, and I shook hands with Kurt. Kara gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, and then we went to the Indian room. I poured tea for the three of us and we sat on the floor pillows.

"What happened?" Kurt asked.

"We have no idea," I sighed. "She was supposed to be with Andrew this weekend. They were going to Lake Geneva, and she was going to explain her past and our relationship. I'm guessing it didn't go well."

"How are things with you two and Jessica?" Kurt asked.

"Perfect!" Kara said before I could answer. "She'll be here next weekend. How are things going as newlyweds?"

"We've more or less lived together since Freshman year, at least on weekends. You know we spent lots of time at Steve's apartment, and then here. And Kathy moved in with me when I got my job at Abbott Labs. So it's not really much of a change. She started working last week, so that's different."

"Oh? Where?" Kara asked.

"Oak Park. She's a sixth grade social studies teacher!"

"All those twelve-year-old boys are going to fall in love with her, you know?" I chuckled.

"I have no doubt!" Kurt laughed.

Just then, Kathy came into the room leading an obviously distraught Bethany. With her eyes, Kathy asked Kurt and Kara to leave, and they silently got up and left, shutting the door behind them. Kathy helped Bethany sit in one of the basket chairs and I poured her a cup of tea, which she accepted.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Everything," Bethany sighed. "And I don't think I can fix it."

"You know we love you and want to help you," Kathy said. "What happened?"

She shook her head, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"You need to," Kathy said gently, stroking Bethany's arm. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I ruined everything. I made a huge mistake!"

"What was that?" Kathy asked.

"Not telling Andrew in the beginning about me and Steve and all my history," she said as tears began to stream down her face.

"But you did?"

Bethany nodded, "Saturday afternoon. He got really upset, and we had a fight and he brought me home."

"Have you been in your bed crying for two days?" I gasped.

She nodded.

"Sweetheart!" I said without thinking, "Have you eaten anything at all?"

She shook her head and started to sob again. I got up and went to the kitchen and got a banana from the fruit bowl, some cheese and grapes from the fridge, and some crackers and took them back to Bethany. She didn't touch them right away, because she was still sobbing, with Kathy kneeling by the chair, stroking her arm.

"Don't call me that, please. It hurts so much!" Bethany whispered.

"I'm sorry. It just slipped out. Please eat a little bit. Just something."

Bethany took two grapes and a piece of cheese and ate them.

"What happened?" Kathy asked.

"I told him about the rape, and about the accident and recovery, and he seemed OK, but then I started talking about Steve and he got really antsy and when I finished, he told me he never wanted me to see Steve again! Not even as a friend!"

Now I understood. The necklace had been a clue, and I'd figured that out, but there really wasn't anything I could have done to change things when I'd noticed it. She'd already committed to her course of action. Sadly, those chickens were coming home to roost.

"Then what?" Kathy prompted.

"I told him that Steve was my best friend and I couldn't do that. Andrew got really upset, and we had a fight and I told him to bring me home. I don't think he's tried to call since then."

"What do you want to do?" Kathy asked.

"I don't know!" Bethany wailed. "I'm engaged and I think we broke up! Everything is ruined now. Andrew hates me. My friends hate me. Steve hates me!"

Bethany started sobbing uncontrollably. Kathy helped her to her feet and put her arms around her and just let her cry. After a couple of minutes, she calmed down enough for me to tell her what I needed to tell her.

"Bethany, I don't hate you," I said. "I could never hate you."

"You should. I turned down your proposal when I should have accepted it! And if that wasn't enough, you will hate me when you find out the other thing I did!" she sobbed.

Things were going from bad to worse. I knew what she was going to say before she said it. It really didn't matter to me at this point from one standpoint, but it mattered to her, and that meant I would care. And she knew it.

"I slept with him!" she wailed, and then collapsed to the floor onto the pillows.

This entire episode was an unmitigated disaster that I had no idea how to fix. I was happy with my circumstance, but Bethany was beside herself with anguish over hers.

Kathy looked at me and with her eyes asked me to leave them alone. She knelt down next to Bethany and stroked her hair. I turned and left the room, making sure to close the door behind me. I let out a huge sigh, took several deep breaths, and then went to the great room where Kurt and Kara were sitting.

"How is she?" Kara asked.

"Distraught. Anguished. Beside herself. I'm not quite sure of the order of events, but I think they made love, she told him about her history and about me, and he told her she couldn't see me ever again, even as a friend. They had an argument of some kind and she had him bring her home. She's been on her bed crying since late Saturday afternoon."

"Jesus," Kurt breathed, shaking his head.

"Yeah," I sighed.

"She had you for the asking, pushed you away to Jessica, and now she believes that she has nothing!" Kara said. "Oh my!"

"Honey, what does she have? Friends? Certainly, but you know how everyone was treating her when she broke things off with me. The only good things I see at the moment are that she came here and is talking to us, and that she didn't try to kill herself. Otherwise, this is an unmitigated disaster!"

"Steve," Kurt said tentatively, "we're good friends, and I hope you'll take this in the right way, but would you consider taking her back?"

I shook my head, "No. I'm committed. I am seriously happy — happier than I've been since eighth grade when I was with Birgit. I talked to your wife both before and after I made my decision. She thought I was doing the right thing. I talked to Jackie, Anala, my sister, Elyse, and even Penny. All of them thought I was making the right choice. I feel bad for Bethany, but I don't know what I can do about it."

"Sorry, man, I had to ask," Kurt replied. "I figured that was the answer, but you're going to get asked that again, for sure. Everyone loves Bethany. Nobody really knows Jessica."

"Kurt, she's amazing!" Kara said. "Once you get to know her, you'll agree. She'll be here next weekend. Come for both days and hang out with us. You and Kathy are Steve's best friends after Bethany."

"I'll talk to Kathy, but I'm sure she'll say 'yes'. She might even stay here a few nights if Bethany is in such bad shape."

"You guys have a two-bedroom place; maybe you want to take her home with you just to get her away from here," I suggested.

"I'll leave it to Kathy to decide," he answered. "They've been friends since fifth grade! Have the three of you set a date?"

"December 15th," I said. "We have to wait until after finals, and we want a long honeymoon, so that's pretty much the only time we can do it. It'll be tough on the girls, but I'm doing as much of the legwork as I can. It's going to be crazy for a couple of years, at least while Jess is in Indianapolis. There's a chance she might be able to do her internship and Residency in Chicago, but we don't know for sure."

"Wait, you're going to live apart for YEARS?" Kurt asked, surprised.

"Have I ever done anything conventionally?" I grinned.

"No!" Kurt and Kara said together.

We talked for another hour before Kathy came to find us.

"Somebody needs to be with her full time," Kathy said, "and I think that's me."

"You can use my bed if you want," Kara said.

"Maybe it's best if you take her home with you, Kathy," I said. "Get her out of this house and away from me."

"She's going to need you, Steve," Kathy said. "She's completely distraught over where she's ended up. She blew it and she knows it. You need to help her back."

"I don't know if I can. I don't know that she'll accept my help."

"Maybe not today. Maybe not next week. But she will. And you have to be there when she needs you."

"I'll try," I said. "But some things just aren't going to change."

"I know. And she knows. That's part of her problem. She basically closed off every path and she has to make a new way forward, somehow. She's burnt every bridge; torn down every building. You need to help her rebuild."

"When she's ready to talk, I'll be there."

"Go see her now," Kathy said. "Don't talk. Just sit with her. If your girls will let you, you might consider cuddling her."

"It's OK," Kara said.

I got up and went into the Indian room where Bethany was sitting. I sat down in one of the basket chairs and she came to sit in the one next to me.

"What can I do?" I asked.

"Will you hug me?" she asked.

I held out my arms, and she got up and carefully sat in my lap. I put my arms around her and she sagged against me, putting her head on my shoulder. Tears slowly ran down her cheeks.

"Do you still love me?" she asked.

"I never stopped loving you," I said.

She snuggled close, and I held her while she cried. The girl who I had called Sweetheart since the Homecoming Dance during Senior year at Milford High was hurting and I had no idea how to make the pain go away. We sat there for about twenty minutes before she lifted her head.

"What's left?" she asked.

"I want to be your friend if you'll let me," I said. "And you have a successful career ahead of you. There are a lot of young women out there who are going to need your help."

She sniffed hard, "I need your help."

"I'll do what I can," I said.

"I'm so sorry that I messed everything up," she said through body-wracking sobs. "I ruined our future. I ruined our friendship. I ruined everything with Andrew. It's all ruined!"

I deliberately said something I'd promised not to say again.

"No, Sweetheart," I soothed, "it's not all ruined. You and I are best friends and we're going to stay that way!"

"But I'm not your Sweetheart!" she protested. "You told me that!"

"That's not what I said! I said that you would always be my Sweetheart, but I couldn't call you that after you said you were going to marry Andrew. You are, and always will be, my Sweetheart."

"But you won't call me that?"

"This was a special circumstance. I love you and always will. But I'm engaged to Jessica and Kara."

"I know," she sobbed. "You wouldn't consider making it a foursome, would you?"

I chuckled, "Penny already beat you to that request!" Then I became more serious, "You are in no mental state to even talk about something like that. How about we start picking up the pieces?"

"But how?" she whispered, her sobs dissipating a bit.

"Let's start with your left ring finger. What are you going to do?"

She took a few deep breaths and managed to stop crying.

"I'm not going to marry him," she said, taking the ring off her finger and dropping it on the floor, where it thudded softly on the Persian rug. "Not after what he said on Saturday. I should have known when he insisted that I stop wearing your necklace."

"OK. See. Step one. What's step two?" I asked gently.

"School."

"Yes. And step three?"

"My best friend."

"Good," I agreed. "But don't leave Kathy out. She'll help, too."

"I won't. Should I go home with them?"

"I think it might be a good idea to just get away for a week or so."

"You'll be here when I come back?" Bethany asked.

"Jess is coming here next weekend, so yes, I'll be here."