Chapter 62: What Now?

August, 1985, Greater Cincinnati, Ohio

"What now?" Kara asked when I walked into her mom's house to get Kara's and Sofia's bags.

Bethany had climbed into the back seat of the car and was waiting for us. She'd suggested that Kara should sit next to me, given the changes, and I had reluctantly agreed.

"Now we get on with life," I said. "What else can we do?"

"She's going to accept his proposal?" Sofia said.

"Yes. And it's all my fault, really," I said.

"How could that be?" Sofia asked.

Kara put her hand on my arm, telling me not to answer.

"Let it go for now, Sofia," Kara said. "We need to go so we can be at Mr. Grossi's house for lunch. There will be plenty of time to talk later."

"Thanks," I said.

We said 'goodbye' to Nancy and Paul, and then the girls and I went out to the car. I put their bags in the hatch and Sofia got into the back seat with Bethany and then Kara got into the passenger's seat.

"Are you OK, Bethany?" Kara asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," she answered.

Those were the last words that any of us spoke before we arrived at Don Joseph's house in Colerain Township. He greeted us warmly and took me into his office for a drink. I handed him the financial report which Elyse had prepared, and he put it on his desk. He poured Sambuca for us, and we drank to our health and to the business, and then went to eat the fantastic lunch that Mrs. Grossi had prepared.

Joyce arrived just as we were about to leave, so I pulled her aside to tell her what had occurred the previous night. She simply stared at me in shock when I told her that Bethany was getting engaged to Andrew.

"What the hell happened?!" she asked.

"It's a long story, but it goes back to my Senior year in High School. It's what Bethany needs to do."

"And you're OK? Really OK?"

"No, of course not. But you'd be the first one to kick my ass for being a drama queen."

"You're darn right I would!" she declared. "But it's OK to be upset about this."

"I cried myself to sleep last night. Don't worry too much. I have plenty of people who will be there for me."

"If you need me, call me!"

"I will. How's Jake?" I asked.

"The stud?" she giggled. "Great! He'll be back in Chicago in a week or so. Once he is, I'll come up to visit."

"There's room for you at the house if you need a guest room. Just call me or Elyse, and we'll make sure one of the rooms is free."

"What's Bethany going to do?"

"I assume she'll stay at the house. Andrew is a grad student; I think he's working on an MBA. So this would be his last year. I can't imagine them trying to move in together until he has a job. This all happened last night, so I can't tell you for sure what's happening."

Joyce shook her head, "Just when I thought your world was getting less crazy."

"I know," I agreed.

We hugged, she gave me a quick peck, and then Kara, Sofia, Bethany, and I went out to the car for the drive home.

August, 1985, On I-65 between Indianapolis and Chicago

We rode in silence for some time before Kara decided to break the ice.

"Tell us about Andrew, please," she said in a very sweet way.

"He's at UofC, working on his MBA. He graduated from the Business School with honors. He's working at the library part-time while he's going to school. He's originally from Michigan and has two younger brothers. He's kind of a bookworm, and doesn't go out much, though he's a movie buff, especially old movies and art movies. He's about an inch taller than Steve, and stocky. He likes Thai food, and he's a Detroit Tigers fan."

"How did you meet him?" Kara asked.

"I was looking for some research material and he was at the reference desk. He helped me, and we got to talking and one thing led to another. He asked me out a couple of times before I said 'yes'."

"And so you went on dates with him and he just asked you to marry him out of the blue?" Sofia asked.

"No, not really like that. It was clear he was interested, but I put him off a bit by telling him I was seeing Steve. I think Andrew concluded that if he wanted me, he had to ask, and he decided he had to ask before Dave and Julia's wedding. It makes sense, if you think about it."

"I suppose it does," Kara said. "And you guys never were together?"

Bethany laughed, "No. For the same reason Steve was never with Jessica. It would have been a commitment. I couldn't do that to Steve. Oh, he'd easily accept me testing the waters, if you will, but Andrew would have taken it to mean I was his. Just like Jessica would have with Steve."

"I'm missing something here," Sofia said.

"Jessica proposed to Steve back in April," Bethany said. "He kept it quiet, and for good reason."

"What?!" Sofia gasped.

"She asked me to marry her," I interjected. "But I was focused on making things work with Bethany, so I put her off. Bethany didn't answer Andrew on Thursday for much the same reason, I guess. But after last night, she's going to."

"I am," Bethany said. "Kara, I was impressed with you last night. You're the first person who I've ever seen manage to control Steve's little sister and make her do what they wanted."

"She and I are going to have to have a meeting of the minds, and she's going to have to accept her new place in Steve's life," Kara said firmly.

"New place?" Sofia said.

We were on dangerous ground here because Sofia didn't know anything about Stephanie and me, and hadn't really seen any interaction between us, except for Stephanie's occasional visits to Chicago.

"She's been used to getting Steve to do whatever it was she wanted, and she's taken care of him for years. But that job belongs to me and his wife, or wives, or whatever solution he decides to come up with for the future. She can still be there for him, but she can't put herself between him and his spouse or spouses."

"Wife or wives? Spouse or spouses?" Bethany said with a laugh. "You mean like you, Jessica, and a third person, too?"

"With Snuggle Bear, you never know!" Kara giggled. "Sofia, why did you sleep with him on Monday night? I thought you were done and interested in a guy at Loyola."

Sofia blushed slightly, "Uhm, I was revising my thinking a bit and asked him to make love to me."

"Revising your thinking?" Kara asked. "As in, you could accept what Steve and I are planning?"

"You two come as a matched set?" Bethany teased.

"So it would appear," I said with a smile.

"I have no idea," Sofia said. "But something my dad said made me start thinking about it."

"That you should club me over the head and knock some sense into me?" I asked with a grin she couldn't see from the back seat.

"Well, yes, but also what he said at first — that you were a lucky guy. And I realized that you aren't the only man in the world who would want the situation that you have. The difference is, you seem to have managed to set it up and you're open about it. I'm not saying I could deal with it, but I'm also not saying I can't. Does that even make sense?"

"It does," Kara said. "Steve's told everyone what he's doing. He's completely out in the open about it. Penny knew about Jennifer and Elyse before Steve took her to bed. Karin knew about Jennifer and Elyse and me before she was here in June. She partly accepted what Steve was offering, but not in a way that he could agree. But he was up front with her the whole way."

"He's always been that way with me, too," Sofia said. "Even in Sweden, when I hoped to have him for myself, I knew that he was seeing Pia, and later, Katt. Pia sort of tolerated his playing around, and Katt, well, I suspect Katt would have done anything he wanted with anyone he wanted! When I couldn't have him for myself, I broke it off with him. But you know I decided in the end to put myself back in competition, so to speak. I expected him to eventually settle on one girl. Boy, was I wrong!"

"But now you changed your mind, and you might be able to accept what he's offering?" Bethany asked.

"Maybe. I honestly don't know. It's so strange to me. Not being married is no big deal. That happens all the time in Sweden. My best Swedish friend's parents have never married. It's the other girls that bother me. You were OK with it, though?"

Bethany smiled, "Not at first, but after seven years, I more or less got used to it. I was at peace with it."

"Then why Andrew?" Sofia asked.

"I fell in love with him," Bethany said with a slight shrug. "That's all I can say."

"How is this different from your guy in Madison, Gene?" Kara asked.

"Back then, I was looking for someone to replace Steve, who was like Steve. Gene even looked kind of like him. Not like Josie and Stephanie look alike, but enough. I wasn't looking for Andrew. I was only thinking about how much I wanted to be with Steve."

"But you fell in love?"

"By accident, I guess," Bethany said.

"And that's better than what Steve can offer you?" Kara asked.

"Ask him. I think he diagnosed it pretty well this morning. At least, better than I could."

"I stopped you before, Steve," Kara said. "Go ahead."

I repeated, more or less, what I'd told Nora Krajick that morning. I realized, partway through the retelling, that Sofia, while she knew about the baby and the abortion, didn't know about what had happened with Kara and Becky, at least, not any details. I basically rewound my life to my Senior year and talked about how Becky and Kara had influenced so much that had happened.

Sofia nodded knowingly, "Becky's touched pretty much every part of your life, even more than I'd realized. I'm glad I told you to talk to her. And I think it was sweet of you to go see her yesterday."

"That seems like a century ago at this point, and it's barely been twenty-four hours," I observed. "Becky and I are so intertwined that it was hard to see her yesterday without some of the old feelings coming back. Not in a way that's going to lead me to her, but the feelings about that baby, the abortion, how I hurt the girls closest to me, and how I made a real mess of my life, Becky's life, and now, my relationship with Bethany."

"So what now?" Kara asked, just as she had at her house.

"Now we get on with life," I said, repeating what I'd said to her earlier. "What else can we do?"

"Promise me something, Steve?" Bethany said.

"What do you need, Swee ... Bethany?"

"Don't accept Jessica's proposal until you've had some time to calm down. Externally, you're doing fine. Internally, I can tell you're an emotional wreck."

"Gee, I wonder why?" I sighed, but quickly realized how that sounded. "Sorry, that wasn't appropriate."

"Actually, it was," Bethany said. "But don't do anything rash."

"No promises," I said. "I'm keeping my own counsel on this. I'll discuss it with Kara when I need advice. Or Sofia, if I need a second opinion."

I saw Bethany slump in the rear-view mirror, and a look of sadness quickly spread over her face. She turned to stare out the window and was silent. Yes, she was my best friend, and I didn't plan to change that, but a decision to marry, or not, had to involve me and Kara, and not Bethany. At this point, I couldn't trust Bethany to be fully objective. I didn't know why that was, but I couldn't.

Unseen by Bethany or Sofia, a huge smile spread across Kara's face. She continued looking straight ahead, out the windshield, to prevent the other girls from seeing her. I fully understood why she was happy. She'd just replaced Bethany as the first person I was going to turn to for advice on my future relationships. I didn't begrudge her one bit for being happy with the promotion.

We rode in silence, with only the hum of the road and soft music from the radio providing anything that might interrupt my thoughts. Life was going to be very, very different. This short trip was already laying out the ground rules, and I didn't think it was going to be easy transitioning from the old to the new. But it had to be done. Bethany had cast her die, and made a decision for both of us.

Other than our usual gasoline stop in West Lafayette, we continued on to Chicago uninterrupted, arriving home just before 7:00pm Chicago time. We hadn't made great time, but when we'd been talking, before the refueling stop, I had been driving slower than usual because I wasn't completely concentrating on driving.

August, 1985, Chicago, Illinois

Stephanie and Elyse were already at the house when we arrived, and were sitting with Jennifer, Josie, and Jorge. I wondered if Stephanie had said anything to them. One look from Jennifer told me that Stephanie had already put her two cents in and was trying to poison the well. She got up and started for Bethany.

"Squirt," I warned. "Not now."

"Oh yes, now!" she declared angrily.

Kara stepped between Stephanie and Bethany. "No. You talk to me first. And I am not taking 'no' for an answer."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Stephanie spat.

"One of his future wives. Who do you think YOU are?"

"His sister!" Stephanie hissed.

"Exactly," Kara said firmly, grasping Stephanie's arm and leading her away against her will.

"Holy shit!" Jennifer said. "When did THAT happen?"

"What?" I asked.

"Kara! Jesus! Even I couldn't take on your sister like that!"

"When Stephanie called Kara to come to my side last night after I nearly blew a gasket."

"I think his blood pressure went through the roof," Sofia said. "He looked like he was going to have a stroke or an aneurysm, or something."

"You have to explain, Bethany," Jennifer said.

"I'm going to take my bags to my room and lie down for a bit," I said. "I'll be down in an hour or so."

"Need some company?" Sofia asked.

"Just for a nap, sure. Nothing else right now. And that's not just limited to you."

"I just don't think you should be alone right now."

"I'm not suicidal," I chuckled.

"Better safe than sorry," she said firmly.

We took our bags upstairs, putting Sofia's and Bethany's bags in their rooms, and then went to my room. I dropped my bag, stripped down to my underwear, and climbed into bed. Sofia did the same, but put on one of my flannel shirts before climbing into bed next to me. I reached over and set the alarm for an hour later, then shut my eyes and quickly fell asleep.

I awoke to music playing from the clock-radio; I'd set that, instead of a buzzer, to wake me up. My usual alarm, one of the Spartus clocks I'd programmed, had a harsh tone and was across the room, so I'd have to get out of bed to shut it off. It was much nicer waking to music that gradually increased in volume.

"Are you doing OK?" Sofia asked in Swedish.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm all roiled inside, but I'm doing OK. My only question is whether Kara and Stephanie are both still alive, and if either of them is in the hospital!"

"You really hurt Bethany when you told her you weren't going to take her advice about Jessica."

"I know," I sighed. "But that has to be something I decide, probably together with Kara. And no, I haven't decided anything like that. I was just telling Bethany how I was going to figure it out. And I have to figure it out without Bethany's help. Talking to her would only confuse me because I still want her. I still want to marry her. I need to get past that, and until I do, I have to avoid talking to her about some things. And this is one of them."