Chapter 51: Another Proposition?

June, 1985, Chicago, Illinois

Kara arrived early Saturday afternoon and once she was settled, Karin asked her to talk. They didn't resurface until it was time for dinner, so I spent several hours working on programs for NIKA. Penny had made quite a bit of progress with the modules that she was working on, and I did my best to finish a key module that I'd been working on during the week. By dinner time, I'd come close, but I'd need a few more hours, which I'd try to sneak in on Sunday.

After dinner, everyone went to see A View to a Kill, the latest James Bond movie. Christopher Walken played an insane businessman whose goal was to destroy Silicon Valley, and he pulled it off quite well. Roger Moore as Bond was only so-so, but overall the movie was entertaining. We went for ice cream at Frusen Glädjé afterwards, and Karin laughed at the name and the faux Swedish milieu.

"You weren't kidding when you said that Kara is completely different from how you described her in the past," Karin said, once we were alone in my room.

"Once she managed to escape from the evangelical Christian mindset, she became a new person."

"So why not marry her? She obviously loves you. Is having two women that important to you?"

"Did you ask Kara that question?"

"I did, but I'd like to hear your version."

"It should match hers. She told me not to ask her. When she came back into my life, it was with a single purpose — to be my lover and have my children. That's all she wants. That's all she ever wanted, at least since her breakdown. She thinks that's the best scenario for her and me that provides maximum happiness. She was reasonably certain that Bethany and I would marry, and she's not only fine with that, she encouraged it. The path I'm on was one that Kara laid out for me."

"She said some other things that I found surprising."

"Such as?"

"She offered to join us in bed if I was interested."

I chuckled, "ARE you interested?"

"We've had that discussion!" Karin said, shaking her head. "I'm curious as to why she would make that offer?"

"Didn't you ask her?"

"I did. But it doesn't make sense. She said you love her and will protect her and she feels free to do anything when you're there, so long as it makes you happy."

"And that confuses you?"

"It just seems like she's made herself into some kind of slave for you."

I chuckled, "No, that would have been Anala. Anala would literally do anything I told her to do, period. She submitted completely to my will. Kara, on the other hand, feels free to do those things if it makes me happy. Maybe it's a subtle difference, but it's an important one."

"So you wouldn't ask Kara to do that?" Karin asked.

"Never. On the other hand, if she wishes to, then she'll just say so. As she did to you. Anala wouldn't have suggested it, or perhaps even thought about it. But she would have done it, no questions asked, had I requested, even though she's straight."

"You certainly have had some interesting relationships. What happened with Anala? I don't think you ever told me why you two broke up."

"Because I'm not Hindu and won't convert. I'm not religious, and she wanted a devout Hindu husband. She found one. She'll be getting married in a couple of weeks."

"And that was her criteria? Religion?"

"It was an important one. That's pretty common here among evangelical Christians, too. And for my friend Dave, who's Greek Orthodox. He and Cindi broke up over the issue. Julia agreed to convert to be with him. That's not all that strange here. I know it is in Sweden because very few people are religious or go to church. But in the US? It's an important criterion for a lot of people."

"Is being willing to have a threesome with you a requirement?"

I shook my head, "No. Not at all. Just because Kara offered it doesn't mean it's going to happen. Bethany and I have done that before, under special circumstances, and not with Kara. Think about what I like with regards to sex."

"Simple love making," Karin said.

"Exactly. Just playing around is fun, but if the only thing I could ever do was make love in a missionary position, I'd be satisfied."

"For a guy who has done just about anything I can think of that doesn't veer off into being deviant, that's pretty strange. But I also know it's true."

"You don't have to answer this, but am I still the only guy who you've been with?"

Karin smiled, "Normally, that's a question a girl should refuse to answer, but yes, you are. I've been tempted to make love with Kristian, but I haven't. That's the guy I've been seeing. He's been very patient with me."

"Does he know about me?"

She nodded, "In the same way Bethany and Kara know about me. And probably the same way Jonas knew about you and Birgit."

"May I ask why?"

"By the time we were at that point, I'd decided to come see you. I felt it was better to wait until I was here so as not to feel like I was either cheating or leading him on."

"That makes sense. So?"

"Ask me on the 30th. Until then, I just want to make love, talk, and spend time together. If you need to work, I can talk with the girls. In fact, I want to do that. For now, it's time to make love!"

On Sunday morning after breakfast, I turned on CNN to get an update on the TWA hijacking that had turned into a hostage crisis and heard that a 747 operated by Air India had crashed into the Atlantic, in Irish waters, about an hour after a bomb had gone off at Narita Airport in Japan. The speculation was that a bomb brought down the Air India flight, but at the moment, it was only speculation.

When the news got to the TWA hijacking, they reported that Israel had announced the release of 31 Shi'ite prisoners, but claimed that it wasn't linked to the hijacking. That was tough to believe, even though Secretary of State George Shultz also insisted there was no linkage. I didn't like it, but it wasn't up to me.

For the next six days, we followed Karin's plan — spending time together, talking, and making love. She took time to talk with Elyse, Stephanie, Jennifer, Kara, and Bethany. That gave me the opportunity to put in a few hours each day on the programming for the estimating software for Gerald Brown. With the hours I'd put in before Karin arrived, I was on track with Julia's plan.

On Saturday, the day before Karin's deadline of the 30th, White House spokesman Larry Speakes announced that the TWA hostages were on their way to Damascus and were expected to travel later in the day to Frankfurt, West Germany. Syria claimed responsibility for securing their release, but the Shi'ite militias rejected that claim. I was glad to see the hostages released, but wondered what backroom deal might have been cut.

The other piece of news was the confirmation that Air India flight 182 had been brought down by a bomb, and that the bomb that had gone off at Narita Airport in Japan and been intended for a second Air India flight, but had gone off prematurely. The Flight Data Recorder and Cockpit Voice Recorder of the crashed 747 hadn't been found, but other evidence seemed clear. There were no claims of responsibility, but investigations were focusing on Hindus and Sikhs in Canada.

Karin and I spent Saturday at Oak Street Beach. The temperatures were in the mid-70s and with only scattered clouds, it was a nice day for a picnic lunch by Lake Michigan. I hadn't been to a beach since I'd been to the beach in Sweden with Pia, and it was a nice change of pace.

"Just remember," I said seriously to Karin, "this isn't like Sweden, and going topless is not allowed."

"You wish!" she laughed, giving me a playful shove.

Late in the afternoon, we went home, showered, and then went to the restaurant on the 95th floor of the Hancock Center for dinner.

After dinner, Karin and I walked along Michigan Avenue and went to see St. Elmo's Fire, a movie about a group of friends trying to figure out life and relationships after graduating from college. The movie starred Emilio Estevez, who was Martin Sheen's son, as well as Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, and Ally Sheedy. Overall, it was fairly clichéd, but that didn't make it any less accurate. I saw quite a few parallels to real life, which made it, like The Breakfast Club, relevant to my experiences. Karin didn't like it as much, which wasn't surprising, as she really didn't have the same cultural context. She did say she enjoyed the movie despite that.

"You seem to find a lot of parallels in your life in that movie," Karin said, as we were discussing the movie on the drive back to my house.

I nodded, "Stereotypes work because there is some relationship to observed reality. There were quite a few moments in that film where I could have switched places with the characters, or my close friends could have, and it would have fit perfectly. It's similar to another movie, The Breakfast Club, which was about High School. I think in both cases, though, the context was very American. My experience in Sweden was different, but there were similar kinds of teenage issues there. I think they just come a bit earlier because kids there seem to mature faster."

"That's true, at least for girls," Karin replied. "Boys, I'm not so sure about. For them, it's often after they go to university. For girls it's either right after 9th grade before they go to gymnasiet or while they're at gymnasiet. I think your kids will be more like Swedish kids, at least until society gets them in its grasp."

"My goal is to prevent that," I said firmly. "It's something about which Jennifer and I agree completely. The same is true with Elyse, Kara, and Bethany. Not all my friends agree, but obviously, it's something I had to agree on with anyone I'm going to have a kid with."

"Have you considered moving to Sweden?"

"Several times, but in the end, events, and choices I've made, have put that option off into the distant future, if ever. Given the commitment that I've made to my friends who are working for my company, as well as to Jennifer with the baby, I just don't see it happening. I'll visit, but moving there doesn't appear to be in the cards."

"Can I ask you why you decided not to stay with us in Stockholm for your year in Sweden?"

"The pain was too great at that point. I would have been sleeping in Birgit's old room, at least until you made your move, and even then, she would have loomed over everything even more than she did. Things weren't rosy with the Jonssons, but being in Göteborg was good for me. It was what I needed — to be away from home, to be mostly on my own, and, to be frank, away from Birgit's ghost."

"I suppose that makes sense. You had planned to live with us when Birgit was alive. I remember her talking about that before she and Jonas went out sailing. She was so excited."

"So was I," I said. "But then they sailed into that storm. Honestly, even seven years later, I still wonder if Jonas knew about the storm and sailed into it on purpose."

"You mentioned that before, and I still don't think so, but it's certainly possible. There's no way to ever know."

"Bethany should have asked Birgit," I said.

"What?! How?" Karin asked.

"When Bethany's heart stopped, she had a vision, or something, of Birgit and the baby that Becky aborted. Birgit told Bethany to come back to me because I needed her."

"That's crazy!" Karin declared. "It was just her mind playing tricks on her. That happens sometimes when people come close to death."

"Maybe. But Bethany believes it was real. And the trauma surgeon who saved her life believes something happened, but like me, he's somewhat skeptical about things like that."

"My sister told Bethany to come back? Because you needed Bethany?"

"That's what Bethany said. You can ask her for more details if you want, though I don't know if she has any more."

"That's just bizarre," Karin said.

"All I know, and all Doctor Barton knows, is that Bethany fought to live. If that vision did it, then I'm going to accept it as real, because it brought her back from the dead. And that I can't argue with, despite my serious questions about religion and god."

"It seems your entire life is wrapped up in my sister in some way. Not that you're controlled by it, but that things with her seem to define key points in your life, even after she died."

"And yours as well. At least up to the night we first had sex."

"And after, too," Karin said. "It wasn't until we changed her room and other things in the apartment that outside things became more important. I kind of feel guilty because I haven't gone to see her since last Summer. I just don't think about her as much as I used to."

"Me neither," I said, "but she's always there with me. Always. And I suspect she is with you, too. You can't have someone that important to you completely disappear from your life, even if they die. The empty hole is still there, and will always be there, it's just much smaller because other things have helped fill the void, at least to a point. I think that's part of what happened to us — we used each other to fill that void. As the void became smaller, we didn't have the same bond or the same attraction we did before because we didn't need each other like we had when the void was bigger."

Karin sighed, "That is probably the bottom line, isn't it? We used each other to try to ease our pain, and that was never a basis for a relationship. Even when we tried to start over, Birgit was in the way. She was always with us and everything we did was colored by her. It is like you said."

"I know it's not the 30th," I said, "but do you want to talk?"

"No. I want you to take me home and make love to me all night. We'll talk in the morning. If we're still alive!" she giggled.

"Is there something specific you want?" I grinned.

"Twice each way, if you can manage that!"

"For you, Karin, I can manage anything!"

"And tomorrow night, before I leave, I just want you to make love to me your way, as much and as long as you are able."

"Trying to store up? Or a fitting end?"

"We'll discuss that tomorrow," she said.

When we arrived at home, we went straight up to my room and got right into bed. My sixth orgasm, around 4:15am, was in Karin's soft, loving mouth, while I licked her to the last of her orgasms, of which I'd lost count at twenty. I barely had enough energy to turn around and pull Karin into a sweaty, sticky, cuddle as we both fell asleep from exhaustion, not waking until 11:00am.

"We stink!" Karin giggled when I kissed her.

"I'm going to open two windows to air the room out. We'll need to change the sheets, too. It's a good thing I bought that waterproof mattress cover because otherwise the mattress would be history!"

We got out of bed and I opened the windows while Karin stripped the sheets from the bed and dropped them in a pile on the floor. We went to the shower and spent fifteen minutes under the hot spray, washing each other and then just enjoying the warmth of the water and holding each other. I had a suspicion as to what Karin was going to say, but I wasn't sure. I still felt that any situation that involved other girls was a bridge too far for her.