Chapter 41: Penelope Margaret O’Neil

April, 1985, Chicago, Illinois

"You look like you've seen a ghost!" Alice said.

"Were you serious when you said that?" I asked with a trembling voice.

"You being white as a sheet and that broken coffee mug say you think I am!"

She was playing word games like Jessica!

"True," I answered, daring to breathe again. "It took me by surprise. I thought Penny was kidding when she scampered over here on the way to school."

"I did tell Penny 'yes'," she said.

I chuckled, "You are torturing me! On purpose!"

"Well, of course I am. You and I both know that she's too young. And she actually knows it as well. When she asked me this morning, she had a silly smile on her face. I knew she was teasing, so I decided to play along."

I paused, and said soberly, "I have to ask. Are you SURE she was teasing?"

A concerned look spread across Alice's face.

"Until just this second, I was. You don't think she took my flip answer seriously, do you?"

"Knowing Penny, I can't be completely sure," I said. "She loves to tease and joke. But in this case, she might have been serious and taken you seriously."

"Were you kidding when you told her it was the way to be able to be together again?"

I chuckled, "What I said to her, in response to her comment that we wouldn't be together again, was that the only way it could happen is if we were married. She laughed and said she was going to ask you just to see what you would say."

"So WAS she kidding? Or do we have a potential problem on our hands?" Alice asked.

"I don't think I have a problem on MY hands," I laughed. "You, on the other hand, might have some 'splainin' to do!"

"Laugh it up, Steve. I might just tell her I was serious. Then it becomes YOUR problem!" she grinned.

"Until she comes to you to get the paper signed. Then it's YOUR problem. See, I can put it back on you no matter what!"

"Until I sign the paper. Then what are you going to do, Smart Ass?" she laughed.

"Marry her!" I said firmly.

"Over my dead body!" Alice laughed.

"Penny may seriously consider that option if she thought you were serious and you're withdrawing your permission! Have fun when you pick her up from school!"

Alice laughed and said she needed to get to work. I went inside and got a broom and dustpan and cleaned up the broken ceramic from the walk. Fortunately, it had been a cheap mug and not one I treasured. I took the shards to the trash can and dumped them in, then went back inside. I had the entire rest of the day at home and nothing to do. I made some tea and went into my study to work on my journal.

Just after 11:00am I picked up the phone and dialed Jennie Sanders, who had been Jennie McGrath when I'd first met her. It had been a few years, but I recognized her voice immediately.

"Hi, Jennie!" I said. "It's Steve Adams."

"Steve! I'm so glad you called. I haven't heard from you in a LONG time."

"I know. It's totally my fault, too. I promised to keep in touch and then didn't. How are things?"

"Colin is four and Chelsea is almost one!"

"And how is Kent?"

"Great! Elyse tells me your life is quite interesting."

I chuckled, "That's one way to put it. School's almost done and I'll be starting my own company."

"I was referring to your love life," Jennie laughed.

"Oh that," I said with a laugh. "It's complicated."

We chatted for about fifteen minutes and tried to catch up on the several years since the last time we'd talked. She told me about her kids and I told her about my main relationships. She asked me if I'd be in town soon and I explained that I'd only be there for a few hours because of my sister's graduation, but then I'd be back in mid-June for Kathy's wedding. I promised to call her and have lunch with her and Kent.

When I hung up, I went to make some lunch and Bethany joined me. A few minutes later, Kara came into the kitchen as well. We had lunch, and then I told the girls that I wanted to go to the bank to deposit the check from Joyce's grandfather. They both said they wanted to come for the walk, so I grabbed my checkbook and the envelope, and we headed for the bank.

"Penny asked her mom to sign marriage papers this morning," I said casually. "Alice said 'yes'."

"What the fuck?!" Bethany gasped.

"No way!" Kara said. "Really?"

"Sort of," I chuckled. "I'm pretty sure that Penny was pulling Alice's leg, and that Alice thought Penny was kidding. Alice and I teased back and forth about it, but I'm betting anything you both care to wager that Penny plays it straight and I get a panicked call from Alice. I told Alice that Penny might be serious, and if she was, that I'd marry her. It's all kidding, of course."

"Oh God, that's just too funny!" Bethany said. "Do you really think she'll insist that she was serious, and that she took her mom seriously?"

"I do. And I'm going to play it to the hilt. Well, assuming Penny IS teasing, which I'm confident is the case."

Kara laughed, "I'd pay to see that!"

"It'll be fun for sure," I said.

The girls came up with all kinds of things that I could say and do, and the three of us were in stitches by the time we got to the bank. We went inside and I stopped at a small desk to fill out my deposit slip. I pulled out a folded note and opened it.

I looked at the check and just stared. Kara, looking over my shoulder, gasped.

"Is that real?" Kara asked a few seconds later.

"Oh yeah, it's real," I said.

"And that's not the investment money?"

"No," I said. "Those checks came to Elyse last week. That money is in the company bank account. This is Don Joseph's idea of a combination birthday and graduation gift."

"If he's giving away that kind of money, Joyce must be about to be very, very rich."

"I knew that a long time ago," I said. "She and her sister were competing for the money. And for me."

"And you passed that up?" Kara asked.

"You know me better than that," I said.

"Can I see?" Bethany asked.

I showed her and she just shook her head. I filled out the deposit slip, endorsed the check, and then walked over to a teller. I handed her the endorsed check and the deposit slip. She looked up at me and down at the check and then did it again. She entered information on her IBM terminal and ran the deposit slip and receipt through the printer. She handed me the slip and explained that it could take up to ten days for an out-of-state check in that amount to clear.

I thanked the teller and the girls, and I walked back to the house. Kara had some homework to do, so she went to the study room while Bethany and I went to the Indian room to relax and drink some tea. After we each finished a cup of tea, Bethany got up and sat in my lap and we cuddled. She stayed for about twenty minutes, but then had to leave for her therapy. I went back to my study to work on my journal.

About 3:30pm the phone rang, as I'd anticipated, and it was Alice.

"I think you need to come for dinner," she said.

"Trouble?" I asked, conveying it was HER trouble, not mine.

"You might say. She was deadly serious and thought I'd given permission. I need your help!"

"Oh NOW you need my help!" I chuckled. "What happened to making me the bad guy?"

"This isn't a joke. She's up in her room, angry as hell!"

"What time?" I said, smiling, as I was absolutely sure it was an act on Penny's part.

"5:30pm," she said. "We'll eat at 6:00pm."

"See you then," I said, hanging up the phone.

I started laughing as soon as the handset was in the cradle. There was no doubt in my mind that Penny was making a huge joke and I was determined to play along at Alice's expense. It was going to be fun. When Bethany came back from her therapy session, she was grumpy.

"More like torture, not therapy!" she groused.

"Poor baby who will get full use of her arm back after they had to put it together like a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle."

"Fuck you!" she laughed.

"Soon! Three weeks, right?"

"I have an appointment with a doctor on the 8th," she said. "The day after our trip to Wisconsin."

"What's your plan?" I asked,

"Just to make love, slow and sweet. I have no idea how it's going to be."

"Other than hot and passionate?" I grinned.

"Well, yeah, other than that!" she smiled. "Remember, I still have my plan."

"I know. Whatever you want!"

"Good!" she giggled.

We hung out until I had to go next door. Both Kara and Bethany begged to be able to come along, but I told them it wouldn't work if they were there. I promised to fill them in completely when I arrived home. They each kissed me and I went out the front door and walked next door. I rang the bell and Alice let me in.

"You have to talk her out of this!" Alice whispered, ushering me into the den where Penny was waiting. When Alice turned her back to shut the door behind us, Penny's frown changed to a quick smirk, then back to a frown. I winked to let her know that I was on the same page that she was.

"Penny, I brought Steve to talk to you," Alice said.

"Why? He already said he'd marry me if you gave permission! You did! This morning you said you would sign the papers!"

"I thought you were teasing, Penny. I really did. Steve, tell her."

"Tell her what?" I said. "That I don't love her? I can't do that. That I don't like making love with her? I can't do that! And that I didn't suggest we get married? I can't do that, either!"

"What?!" Alice gasped. "You can't be serious."

Penny got up and sat in my lap and put her arms around my neck, "I love you Steve. I want to marry you as soon as school's out!"

"Your mom has to sign the papers before that can happen," I said, giving her a quick kiss.

"She's being mean!" Penny groused. "I should call my dad! We can go to Florida! He'll sign the papers!"

"I can book the tickets," I said sweetly. "I just need your dad to call me and tell me it's OK to come with you. When are you visiting him?"

"As soon as school's out. It's already planned!"

"Steve," Alice protested. "We agreed!"

"Agreed on what? You told me that you would sign the papers and make me decide. I told you if you did, that I'd marry Penny. I guess that's what's going to happen now!"

"Yes!" Penny declared triumphantly.

"This is not happening!" Alice protested. "I said it would happen over my dead body!"

I squeezed Penny's arm, hoping she'd get the hint. She did.

"I can arrange that, Mom!" she said fiercely.

"I warned you, Alice," I said. "I warned you. I think you have a big problem on your hands and you are NOT making me the bad guy!"

She let out an exasperated sigh, "Please tell me you're pulling my leg."

"I'm not. I want to make your daughter Penelope Margaret Adams, and I want to do it on May 20th. Right after graduation."

"Penny, honey, be sensible," Alice said, almost panicked now. "You're only sixteen!"

"So? I made love with Steve when I was fifteen! I have a job. I'm going to have a college scholarship. And sex with Steve is the most amazing thing I can imagine ever happening to anyone!" she giggled.

I felt she was pushing the envelope a bit too far, but I wasn't ready to rein her in. This was her game, and I'd play as long as she wanted to.

"Penny, we talked about this," Alice protested. "You said you understood. You said you talked to Jackie and Elyse and that you knew Steve was going to marry Bethany."

"He got smart and chose me instead! Maybe I'm just better than she is in bed!"

"Penny," I cautioned. "Don't be rude."

Penny gave me a dirty look, then cracked a tiny smile. That was enough to give away the joke.

Alice started laughing, "OK. OK. You two win. You got me. You really had me going there, but that last bit was too over the top even for you, Penelope Margaret O'Neil!"

I laughed as well and Penny made another face at me, but then she kissed me and got up from my lap.

"Mom, I thought you were going to have kittens!" Penny said through her laughter.

"You seemed so serious. I honestly thought you were kidding at first. But then I wasn't sure. And you, Steve, you traitor!"

"Traitor? I told you this morning what I'd say. Whether or not Penny was kidding, I was NOT going to be the bad guy!"

"Wait a minute! If she was serious, you would have gone through with it?"

"You told me it would happen over your dead body, so there was no actual risk on my part. But you know what? I can think of a lot of worse things than marrying your daughter."

"Hey!" Penny objected. "Like it would be bad?"

I chuckled, "Not at all, Penny. You know that's not what I meant. I'd very much like being married to you, but you're too young to make that decision."

"That's what I told her!" Alice said.

"I'm old enough to screw! And I'm good at it, too!" Penny giggled.

"Penelope!" Alice said.

"I am! You're just jealous because Steve can do it six times in one night!" Penny giggled.

"OK! OK! Penny. Stop!" I said, "You're taking this WAY too far."

"Sorry, Steve," she said.

"Penny," I said gently, "if you want to be an adult, you have to act like an adult, and that means not talking about sex the way that you did. Trying to get under your mom's skin that way was wrong. And you never, ever compare people the way you did with Bethany."

"Sorry," she said.

"Bart should be home any minute and we can have dinner," Alice said. "I need to go finish up in the kitchen. Can I leave you two alone in here without you plotting against me?"

Penny and I looked at each other and smirked.

"No!" we laughed.

Alice shook her head and left to go to the kitchen.

"You are bad, Penny!" I laughed. "I can't believe you told your mom that we did it six times last night! And saying how good you are? Really?"

Penny grinned, "I am, aren't I?"

"Yes," I chuckled. "You are."

"Can I ask a serious question?"

"Sure."

"Would you marry me if mom signed the papers?"

"She won't," I said. "I'm sure of that."

"That's not what I asked."

It was a tough question. I could answer it either way. In one sense, the answer was a resounding 'no' because she was so young. In another sense, it was an unqualified 'yes' because I loved her dearly, she was a great friend and companion, and she was, in fact, fantastic in bed.

"I don't do speculative questions, Penny. They're dangerous."

"Please answer," she pleaded. "For me."

"Come sit in my lap again," I requested.

She sat down and put her arms around my neck.

"Penny, it's a hard question to answer because you're only sixteen, but if you promise not to run and tell your mom, I'll answer your question."

"I promise."

"Yes, Penny. I would marry you if she signed the papers."

She got a huge smile on her face and pressed her lips to mine. We exchanged a soft, loving kiss, and then she hopped up from my lap.

"Thanks. I love you so much. I can't wait to start working with you!"

"Same here. You're a wonderful friend and an amazing lover, Penelope Margaret O'Neil!"

"I am, aren't I!" she giggled.

I laughed, and we went to the kitchen to see if Alice needed any help. I heard Pete barking like a maniac from upstairs and Alice told Penny to take him for a walk before he had an accident, and asked me to stay. Penny made a face at her mom, but went to get Pete and take him for a walk.

"Is everything OK between you two?" Alice asked.

"Absolutely. I thought she might be upset, but she's so hyped about the job that it's kept her on an even keel. I did detect a bit of sadness, but she's known this day was coming for a long time, even without the job."