Chapter 38: Safe Sex?

April, 1985, Chicago, Illinois

Thursday was my last day at work at Nuvatec. Dave would be working for another week, but we had a joint going-away lunch at Fuddruckers, with nearly everyone at the company in attendance. We had a wonderful meal and for most of the afternoon, people came in and out of my office to talk to me. Scott had assumed that would happen and hadn't really given me much to do. Just before 5:00pm, Bill Howsman, the managing partner, came into the office to shake my hand and wish me well. I thanked him once again for the opportunity.

"On the plus side, we'll be getting your friend Jennifer as a full-time engineer and your friend Wen as an intern; so all isn't lost!" he chuckled.

"I think you're getting the better part of the deal," I said.

"You've known Miss Block for a long time?"

"Since seventh grade, though we didn't become friends until eighth grade. She's one of my closest and best friends."

"And Miss Zhao was on your team in Scott's class?"

"Yes. I've known her since she was a Freshman."

"And you saved her life, too?"

"After getting her shot by driving down State Street at night!"

"I heard the story, and I don't see how you can blame yourself for what happened. On the other hand, your quick action saved her life. And you recommended her for the internship as well. I'd say that she has a guardian angel."

"She's a good friend and I'm happy that I can help her."

We shook hands once again, and then Dave and I walked out to my car.

"It's getting close, isn't it?" Dave said.

"It is!" I said excitedly. "A few more weeks and we're done with school, too. And then you and I become NIKA Consulting!"

"I'm still shocked that you selected my name for the company."

"I like it. We can use the 'Four Dimensional Software' name as a brand or division, similar to how Nuvatec uses Uniware for the stuff you were doing."

"What's the game plan?"

"Finishing the semester!" I chuckled. "But it's time for our first company meeting. Are you OK homework-wise to do it Saturday afternoon?"

"Yes. What are you thinking?"

"Four-pronged. First, do some advertising for custom programming services. Second, start working with Gerald Brown on the estimating software. Third, get my old cash-register and inventory programs converted to the IBM PC and the Mac. And finally, improve the membership programs for the union and offer them to other unions."

"So why have the meeting?" Dave chuckled as I merged onto the East-West Tollway.

"To make sure everyone is on the same page and assign duties. Julia needs to run the meeting and make the assignments. She's in charge. Not me."

"You're really serious about that?" he asked.

"Absolutely! And once she puts the plan in place, you'll hand out the programming assignments. Cindi is going to work on sales and marketing, in addition to customer service. Elyse is doing the books, and we have a board to keep us on the straight and narrow."

"Do I have time to go to Ohio once finals are over?"

"Sure. I figured that everyone was going to take some time off. I'll be back from my trip with Jennifer and Josie sometime during the first week in June. I figure that June 3rd is the official date. Penny will start then as well. Given exams and stuff, I think I was a bit overly optimistic in thinking we could start before school is out. But the plan didn't assume that we'd do anything before June. We wrote it with a conservative eye."

"So, boss, do Julia and I get some time for a honeymoon?" Dave asked as I tossed change into the hopper to pay the toll at the end of the East-West Tollway.

"Of course! Where are you guys going?"

"Hawaiߴi. For ten days. We'd want off from the 8th to the 22nd so we can take a couple of days before the wedding. Will that work?"

"I think so. Won't that put a serious strain on finances?"

He smiled, "My parents are helping. And besides, we won't have very many expenses living at the house. We can easily make do with one car, and neither of us has any student loans."

"OK. Just checking. I want you guys to have a good time."

"Thanks."

After dinner that evening, Penny came over as she usually did, but we spent most of the time talking. We kissed a bit, but I'd convinced her to wait for Monday night. My only concern was about her getting enough sleep to go to school on Tuesday. She assured me that she'd be fine, and that she'd take a nap when she arrived home from school on her birthday.

"Your mom and Bart are coming here for dinner, right?"

"Yes. And they'll bring a cake. I already talked to Elyse, so she knows that she doesn't need to make one. It's a good thing we like the same kind — it's devil's food with fudge icing!"

"Not angel food?" I asked.

"I like that, but we both like devil's food! It even sounds naughty!"

I laughed, "And we agreed not to spend money on each other. Spending the night is our gift to each other."

"I remember. When is the last time we can be together?"

I took a deep breath.

"Would you be OK if our birthday is the last day?"

"Why?" she asked.

"I have final exams coming up, and then I'm driving out to California to bring Jennifer and her girlfriend here. I won't be back until June. I also have to go to Washington, DC, to say goodbye to my friend the Trade Attaché because he's being reassigned to Moscow. Add in all the studying and everything else, and it just makes sense. Wouldn't you rather that our last time be an amazing, over-the-top experience? In reality, we'd only have maybe two more chances after that, anyway."

"Will you do anything I ask?" she said with an impish smile.

"Anything we've already done? Sure. If we haven't done it before, then it depends on what you're asking."

"Does your sauna door have a lock?" she grinned.

I chuckled, "No, a lock would be really dangerous. Nobody will disturb us; I promise."

"Good! Then yes, it can be the last time. I wish it didn't have to end, but I want to work for you."

"And I want that, too. So it's from birthday to birthday," I said.

"Is it OK if I cry on Tuesday morning?"

"Yes, Penny, that's OK."

We made out a bit and then she scampered home. I worked on homework until bedtime, and Elyse stopped me as I was going upstairs with Bethany.

"We're having a party for you on Sunday evening. Plan to be here."

"I will, but you don't have to do that."

"Sure we do!" Elyse insisted. "But it won't be like last year. Just the housemates, if that's OK."

"Of course that's OK," I agreed.

"Good. We know there's a party on Monday night, but we don't want to interfere with you and Penny."

"Thanks."

On Friday, classes dragged as they always did when I was anticipating seeing Jessica. It was strange. I hadn't felt that way very often in the past. There was something special about her, and it wasn't just her marriage proposal, given I'd had the same feelings before she'd made it. When my last class finally ended, I headed home for a shower and a change of clothes, and was sitting at our usual table at Connie's when Jessica arrived.

"Hi!" she said, as I jumped up to pull out her chair.

"Hi!" I replied. "How was your week?"

"Insane! And it only gets worse next year, especially with the clinical work. How about you?"

"I'm more or less coasting now," I said. "I've finished my internship, and I'll get an A+ on that. I have one more paper to write, and then finals. But those really aren't a big deal this semester."

"You suck, you know that?" she sighed. "You're going to graduate, start making a ton of money, and have no debt. By the time I get to the point where I can earn any money, you'll be a millionaire."

"And I suck because of that?" I said with a grin.

"It just seems too easy."

"I think much of it is being at the right place at the right time. Computers are really just taking off. Ten years ago, and I wouldn't be in the same situation and in ten years, who knows what the landscape will look like? My dad really is responsible; he bought me my first computer when I was fourteen. Besides, we're both doing what we love."

"True," Jessica agreed. "I guess I just chose a harder path."

"But would you be happy doing anything else?" I asked.

"No chance!"

"Same here!"

The waitress came and took our order and walked away to get our drinks.

"So?" she asked.

"I don't have an answer for you. Are you going to ask me every time we meet?"

"You know, it's traditional to get the answer when you ask," she said with a smile.

"And I'm perhaps the least traditional person on the planet. I told you how crazy the next couple of months will be."

"You did. Can we discuss what you're thinking?"

"We can discuss just about anything," I said.

The waitress brought our drinks.

"Let me see if I can deduce some of it," Jessica said. "First, you're weighing how well you know me versus how well you know Bethany. That's a point in her favor, as I see it. Second, you two have been together for quite some time, so she's a known quantity, which is another point in her favor. She loves you to pieces and you don't know for sure how I feel in that regard, which makes three points for her and none for me. Looks are a draw, not because one of us is prettier than the other, but because you would never use those as criteria. In the brains department, I'd bet I'm smarter, but not enough to make a difference, so another draw. All the points are in her favor. And yet, here you are."

"And yet, here I am," I agreed.

"So something is missing or off or whatever. And that's what's giving you pause. Enough pause to think about my proposal."

"Yes."

"But you want to spend some time with her now that she's in Chicago and see if you can sort out whatever the issue is. If you can't, you'll accept my proposal. If you can, you'll turn me down."

"So, why did you ask the question?" I smiled.

"To watch your reaction and see if I'd judged everything correctly."

"And did you?" I asked.

"So it would appear."

The waitress brought our salads to the table, and we began eating.

"I have another question," she said.

"Shoot."

"If I asked you to take me home tonight and take me to bed, what would you say?"

"I'd say you have to actually ask, not present a hypothetical question. And you have to mean it."

"Would you take me home and take me to bed?" she asked with a slight smile.

I smiled, "I'd love to, but no, I won't. If you and I make love, it has to be after we agree to marry, not before. Making love with you would be a commitment I'm not prepared to make at this point."

"Even if I told you that I wasn't asking for such a commitment?"

"Another hypothetical, but as I've already said 'no', that's the only kind of question you could ask, so I'll answer. Yes. Because the question is hanging out there. If you hadn't asked me to marry you, the calculation would be different. But you did ask, Jess, so the answer has to be 'no'."

She nodded, "That's exactly what I expected you would say. I do think it's a bit funny coming from a man who's had scores of lovers. But Kara told me that you've made quite a few girls wait to be absolutely sure that they wanted it. Most Lotharios don't have your scruples."

"Uhm, isn't that word used for someone who is unscrupulous? So if I'm not unscrupulous, then the word doesn't apply."

"I should have known better," she laughed. "I take it you've read Don Quixote?"

"Yes, but in English. My Spanish was never good enough. My friend Melanie read it in Spanish in a literature class at Ohio State."

"Don't you think that however many the number is might be enough? That you'd be happy with me and Kara?"

"Maybe. I can't actually answer that question at the moment. I just don't know. And I don't want to make a promise and then either break it or be unhappy for the rest of my life."

"Those are valid concerns. Would you be amenable to some limits?"

"Trying to renegotiate the deal?" I asked with a grin.

"We don't have a deal. Not yet, anyway. Well, unless you're accepting my proposal!"

I shook my head, "No. Not yet."

"Yet. That's a good word. Anyway, look, I can handle Jennifer and Elyse on their terms. I can even handle Kara on her terms, but I don't think I can abide by you having license to screw any girl who tickles your fancy for the rest of your life; it seems that your fancy gets tickled a lot."

I smiled, "A legitimate point."

The waitress brought our pizza, and we dug in.

"So, how do we handle this issue?" Jessica asked.

I thought about it for a moment. Did I really need anyone but Kara and my future wife? The truthful answer was probably not. But I wasn't completely sure. Past history was what Jessica said it was — my fancy was tickled a lot. But I had to make a concession of some kind. Or I had to refuse her proposal right at this moment. And for some reason, I didn't want to do that.

"It is a bit much to ask, isn't it?" I observed. "No, it's a lot to ask. I won't say it will never happen, but if it does, I'll ask permission and abide by what you decide. I just ask that the answer not be a reflexive 'no'."

"And you'll rarely ask? Perhaps never? Well, once I'm able to be with you regularly, though again, you can't be crazy before then."

Could I agree to that? Once again, it was agree or end things here and keep Jessica as a friend.

"Yes," I said.

She nodded, "Good. I was hoping we could agree on that."

I thought about what had just happened and it hit me. She'd been rash in her proposal and was trying to walk back what she'd offered because she'd let her guard down to try to push things forward.

"I just passed another hurdle, didn't I? You realized that your proposal was rash and you need to pull back to where you're comfortable!"

Jessica smiled, "A keen insight. And accurate. I was actually a bit afraid that you would accept before I had a chance to pull back a bit on the reins."

"Then you should have just come out and said it. That's the best way forward. What about you and other guys?"

"Is that on the table?" she asked.

"This is an open forum. Everything is on the table."

"The answer is 'no'. I'm not going to have a fling because it makes no sense to do that after I marry when I won't do it before! If that's what I wanted, I could have a dozen guys by this time next Friday. I've kept them at bay this long because I'm picky. Why would that change now?"

"I didn't say it would. I was just curious."

"Will you do one other thing for me?" she asked.

"And that is?"

"Get a full-spectrum VD test. Including AIDS."

"AIDS? I've heard that term used, but I thought it only affected drug users or men who had gay sex."

"It also affects hemophiliacs and, for some odd reason, people from Haiti. But nobody knows for sure yet what causes it. They're trying to isolate it, and it looks like it's some kind of retrovirus, either HTLV-III, LAV, or perhaps both."

"Sure. I can do that."

"Good," she said. "With the number of partners that you've had, you should be tested."

"I've been tested twice," I said. "Once when I was eighteen and once when I was twenty."

"Good. Get tested again. And have anyone that you're sleeping with get tested as well. And should the need arise, you'll also need to use condoms with anyone who hasn't been tested."

I nodded, "That's pretty much what Bethany said."

"She's doing her undergrad project on rape and incest, and her goal is counseling about sexual abuse and relationships?"

"Yes."

"She probably heard the same stuff I have, just from a social perspective rather than a medical one. We know AIDS is transmitted in the homosexual community, but anyone who engages in risky sexual behavior needs to worry about it. And that means you."

"Risky?"

"Remember, when you have sex with a woman, you effectively have sex with everyone she's been with before. And I don't mean that in a tawdry way, only in terms of disease transmission. You've had scores of partners. Can you account for every other partner that those girls had before you?"