Chapter 13: Setting the Stage

January, 1985, Chicago, Illinois

As Scott had predicted, the news about the TA's had spread quickly and I heard the names of the two graduate students who had been expelled. Callie's name was mentioned as well, and I wondered if her lawyer had even bothered to file for his injunction. I couldn't imagine any scenario where she could win, though there was always an angle for a sharp lawyer.

After my conversation with Elyse the previous night, I decided to see if I could find Jackie on campus. I let Kara know that I might be late for lunch and she said she'd wait in the cafeteria for me. After my compilers class, I walked towards Crown Hall to see if I could locate Jackie, and spotted her walking towards the El. I called out to her, and she stopped.

"Got a few minutes?" I asked.

"I do. I was heading to the Loop to run an errand but it can wait. What's up?"

We walked to a bench and sat beneath the barren branches of an oak tree. I described my conversation with Alice and about how Alice was keeping Penny and me apart, and had asked me not to see her in secret, meaning I couldn't talk to Penny privately. Finally, I told her what Elyse had said.

Jackie laughed, "Alice knows that you're both lying to her. It's only a question of who breaks first."

"Then why didn't she accuse me of lying about it?" I asked.

"Because she doesn't have proof — just really strong evidence that is pretty convincing, and she expected you to back Penny's story because you want to protect Penny. What you said and what Penny said lined up, so she didn't have a way to accuse you without risking a false accusation."

"So what do I do?" I asked.

"You have two options. Wait for Penny to get ticked off enough to say or do something foolish. And that will happen, eventually. You know Penny well enough to know how volatile she can be. The other option is to go to Alice, hat-in-hand, so to speak, and tell the truth."

"And then she calls the cops," I said.

"I don't think so. That doesn't fit the pattern. I think she and Penny have a VERY long mother-daughter talk and, in the end, you get away with it."

"Get away with it?"

"Having sex with Penny without going to jail."

"And then what?" I asked.

"That's up to Alice. And to Penny. I can't even begin to predict how Alice will come down on this. She may well go full hypocrite on you and forbid Penny from ever seeing you again. She might allow you two to see each other in controlled circumstances. I highly doubt she'll be inviting you to spend the night with Penny," Jackie added with a smirk.

"You're sure she knows?" I asked.

"She suspects, and believes that her suspicion is correct. After all, she did the same thing, didn't she? That's why I think she won't turn you in and hasn't called you out on it. She said what she said to let you know that you could confess and she wouldn't be calling the cops. We all think that the law is bogus. Heck, even Katy isn't too concerned about it because Penny was fifteen. But society cares. No, if Alice was going to turn you in, she'd have done it already, and she would never have brought Penny over for programming last night."

"I'll think about it," I said.

"You're way better off if you bring it up than if Penny does. You're the adult."

"I suppose," I replied. "Thanks for your input and advice. I'm going to go meet Kara for lunch. Want to join us?"

"No, I still have time to run my errand. I'll stop by one evening to chat. I know you'll be gone for most weekends for a couple of months."

"I miss our chats. I'm looking forward to it."

Jackie and I hugged, and I went to meet Kara for lunch. I let Kara know I'd be home late because I was meeting a friend for dinner. She didn't ask who it was, and I didn't volunteer, though she said that she'd take care of making dinner for anyone who was home. For some reason, it seemed better to keep the whole thing with Jessica low-key. I put it out of my mind so that I could focus on the discussion of Buddhism that Mark initiated in class and which continued in The Bog after class.

When I finished my last class of the day, I headed for my car, but rather than driving home, I drove over to Connie's in Bridgeport. I parked in a lot on 26th Avenue and walked to the restaurant and asked for a table for two. I gave the hostess my name and Jessica's name, as well as a quick description and pulled out my European History text to read until Jessica arrived, which she did about ten minutes before 6:00pm.

"Hi!" she said when the hostess led her to the table.

"Hi!" I replied, putting my book back into my bag.

"So?" she asked, looking at me.

"Are we playing the guessing game again, like when we had tea?" I chuckled.

"Yes. Why are we here?" she asked.

"Is it always going to be like this with you?"

"Are you not up to the challenge? Perhaps I'm wasting my time."

"Well," I said, "you told me up front that you were staying at your cousin's tonight, which was a clear signal that this wasn't about sex, or if it was, that it was up in the air. I believe that it's the former. In fact, I'm quite sure of it. Your standards are such that you aren't sure I qualify. In fact, I'm going out on a limb and saying that at most, one guy has met your standards. At most.

"That means one of two things; You're here to develop a friendship, or you're here to see if I'm worth pursuing. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive, by the way. As a med student, you're super busy and don't have a lot of time to meet people who aren't other med students or doctors. You've already made it clear that you aren't interested in them, so you need to find friends elsewhere.

"As I said the other day, you need someone who can be your equal and isn't intimidated by a smart woman. You diagnosed quickly that I wasn't intimidated. You also concluded that I hadn't found exactly what I was looking for, despite having several different pretty girls in my company. You also asked about my relationships with them and discovered that I was friends with them, but also lovers.

"That intrigued you, because one of your criteria is that any guy who does meet your standards has to be able to curl your toes, and I have several girls, which indicates I have some experience. Your problem is that you have no way of judging if the guy can curl your toes without giving him a test drive, shall we say, but that's not your style. So you're stuck with a serious dilemma which you don't know how to solve.

"And as I said, you don't have a lot of time to dedicate to a relationship. You're about to finish your second year of medical school. If I understand correctly how it works, you actually start working in the hospital next year, but you have two years before you get your MD. Then you have an Internship and Residency, which you want to do with Doctor Barton. I'm in Chicago, so that means some kind of long-distance relationship with me, friendship or otherwise, unless I were to move to Indianapolis.

"Moving to Indianapolis is unlikely, because what you don't know is that I own a house here and I'm starting a business with my friends once I graduate in May. That means I'm tied to Chicago as much as you're tied to Indianapolis. Which puts any serious relationship on hold for, what, at least seven years, given surgical Residency? So, unless I'm missing something, my conclusion is that you just want to be friends. Anything else seems highly improbable. Not impossible, mind you, but improbable."

She smiled, "An interesting analysis. You're here because you're intrigued. Despite surrounding yourself with smart, beautiful women, you haven't found exactly what you're looking for, or you have some condition for a relationship which they can't accept. In addition, I believe you've conducted at least one long-distance relationship in your life. You make friends easily; you're focused but sociable. You like being around very smart people and don't suffer fools any better than Doctor Barton or I do. But what's really eating at you is why you're attracted to me."

I laughed, "You are very full of yourself, Jessica Wilton!"

The waitress came and took our drink orders. I checked with Jessica on pizza toppings and we ordered our Chicago-style pizza, along with a couple of salads. I considered wine, but I guessed she would follow Doctor Barton's example in that regard, even though she wasn't a doctor yet. The waitress left to place the order and our conversation continued.

"You have no room to talk!" Jessica said with a smirk. "Your ego is as big as mine, maybe bigger. But I think you can back it up. I certainly can! Now, if you were a typical guy, you'd be undressing me with your eyes and trying to figure out how to get me into bed at the end of this date. But you aren't. In fact, you don't care one way or the other, do you?"

I laughed again, "I wouldn't put it QUITE that way. Let's just say it's not something I would expect, and I am positive that it's not on offer. You're right in the sense that I'm not here for that. I'm here because I find you interesting. Now, if you want an assessment, I'm happy to provide one!"

"Oh do tell!" she smirked.

"Brilliant? Check. Interesting personality? Check. Outgoing? Check. Self-Confident? Check. Well-educated? Check. Long strawberry blonde hair? Check. Athletic build with small breasts? Check. Slightly curvy hips? Check. Blue eyes? Check. Long legs? Check. Cute butt? Check. Overall sweet, girl-next-door look? Check."

"So brains and personality come before the physical attributes?"

"Damn straight!" I said, then smirked, "Even I have to get out of bed and talk to girls every once in a while!"

Jessica laughed, "Speaking of being full of themselves!"

"What did you say? Can I back it up? I can. But we're on the wrong topic. That's not on the menu, and I don't expect it to be any time soon, nor perhaps ever."

"And yet you're still having dinner with me?"

"Of course. First of all, I didn't think you would take 'no' for an answer. Second, you can't have too many friends. As Doctor Barton said, it's good to accumulate friends from multiple disciplines."

"Then I'd say my instincts are perfect. Be my friend, Steve Adams. You never know what might develop. Heck, I might even be able to curl YOUR toes."

Our salads and drinks came, and we switched to talking about our pasts. Jessica was from Plano, Texas, as she'd said. Her dad was a civil engineer and her mom was an accountant, and she had two younger brothers. She'd been the valedictorian in her High School, and had played volleyball, though she wasn't a star. She'd decided to be a doctor when she was little and had basically focused her entire life on that goal.

I told her about my past and got an 'Aha' when I discussed my relationship with Birgit, but then shock when I told her about Birgit's death. I told her about having played baseball from 2nd to 6th grade, about playing chess, getting into computers, and my trips to Sweden. By the time we'd finished with our backgrounds, our pizza had arrived.

"You seem to have something of a complicated life," she said, cutting a piece of pizza and stabbing it with her fork.

"That's an understatement," I said. "Between school, work, the house, karate, and traveling to see Bethany, things are pretty crazy."

"All true, but I was thinking more along the lines of your close female friends. I'm not judging, but it seems like you are very casual and somewhat cavalier about sex."

"I guess it depends on how you look at it. I don't see it as something limited to marriage. It's an expression of deep feelings for another person which also happens to be quite pleasurable. I don't hold to traditional notions about marriage or virginity or anything along those lines. What I decide to do in the future will be my own choice, and I don't give a rat's ass what society thinks."

"You're a maverick who does the right thing as you see it," Jessica observed. "And you don't care about rules or morals. What about ethics?"

"That's the important thing. To act ethically. The rest? Do the right thing and tell the rest of the world to go to hell if they don't like it."

"Try telling that to the Medical Review Board! Doctor Barton has had to do that a few times when he's done the right thing but didn't follow the rules."

"I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like."

We continued eating and chit-chatted about school, family, and friends. When we finished our pizza, we ordered Italian ice for dessert. I was still trying to make heads or tails out of Jessica, but she always turned the questions back on me, asking me what I thought, as opposed to giving me a direct answer. In a sense, it seemed like she was playing a game designed to test me, which made sense, given how I'd seen Doctor Barton behave during our short interactions.

When we finished our dessert, I paid the check, and we walked out of the restaurant. I asked where her car was and walked her to it.

"What next?" I asked.

"Ask yourself this question," she said. "What do you want out of life? When you know the answer to that, you'll know what's next."

"I may not have an answer to that question for some time. It's been on my mind a lot."

"That's a good thing. Call me in a couple of weeks. We can have dinner again."

"I'll do that," I said.

I held her car door open, and she got in. I carefully shut the door and watched as she started the car and drove off with a wave. She was a very, very interesting person. And she, like others, was asking me the same question that I kept asking myself — what did I want out of life?

At home I found only Elyse, Kara, and Sofia home. I said 'Hi' to them and then went to my study to do some homework so that I could take the time to see Don Joseph and my dad. I'd talked to Joyce earlier in the week to arrange a Saturday dinner meeting, and I'd see my dad afterwards. While I was working, Sofia came to the door.

"«Hej»!" I said.

"Can we talk?" Sofia asked, and it was obvious that something was bugging her.

"Come on in. What's bothering you?"

"You've barely talked to me since I got back. I mean, I understand things are crazy because of Bethany, but I feel like I don't matter to you anymore."

"Come sit down, and let's talk," I said, closing my textbook. "Tell me what's wrong and how we can fix it."

She sat in the chair closest to my desk and pulled her knees up to her chin.

"I know I'm going to sound like a selfish, jealous bitch, but you didn't even talk to me before you decided to spend your weekends in Ohio. I hardly see you during the week except for dinner and karate, and now not at all on the weekends."

Saturday nights! And it wasn't about the sex. It was about the closeness. I was acting like a cad, though in my defense, Bethany had almost died. Twice.

"You're right," I said gently. "I have been insensitive to your needs and to our relationship. I was so focused on Wen, Jennifer, and especially Bethany, that I neglected you, not just as a lover, but more importantly, as a friend. And I don't think that you're jealous or insensitive. I think I've been insensitive. I won't apologize for giving Bethany priority right now, but I should have talked to you and made some time for you."

"Yes, you should have," she said with a smile. "But you're making this easy for me. I expected you to get defensive because of Bethany."

"I'm trying to be more sensitive to people's needs and more aware of how what I do affects them. In your case, I blew it. What can I do for you?"

"Just talk to me and find some time for me. I get this feeling that I've dropped to last place, and I don't like it."

"There are no places. Honestly, every time I try to decide on places, something bizarre happens. You know my focus. It's not all that different from yours, really. I want to finish school, get the business started, and then take stock. That hasn't changed since Stephie and I called it quits. And that was before you were accepted to Loyola. Don't take what's happened since Christmas as an indication of anything other than me having too much on my plate."

"And how do you plan to resolve that? You really are spread too thin."

"I don't know what I can do," I said. "School and work go hand-in-hand. The job at Nuvatec is independent study that substitutes for my senior project and I need that to graduate. Even though I'm carrying a full course load, the homework isn't too bad. The only other things going on now are karate, which takes a few hours a week, and traveling to Ohio to see Bethany. I don't see what can give."

"I suppose if it weren't for Bethany's accident, it wouldn't be so bad. I just want you to take care of yourself."