Chapter 12

Towards the end of their evening together, Bill came up with an idea. To all of the others he said, “How about if we get married as soon as possible? Like within a week or two?”

“The first thing we have to do is see a priest, darling,” Caitie replied. Then to the others she asked, “How about it?”

The result was that Caitlin had made an appointment with Monsignor Ryan, her pastor, for all three couples on Tuesday afternoon. Now it was Tuesday and the six were standing at the rectory door waiting for someone to open it.

Monsignor Ryan, rather than his housekeeper, opened the door. “Caitlin Collins,”he exclaimed, “I’ve never seen you look so beautiful!”

Caitie cocked her head and said, “Don’t you really mean that I look sort of distracted and not all with it? I’m sure you do, Monsignor, and that’s what happens when a girl is in love.”

After being introduced to the others, he led the way to his study and brought up chairs for every one. With everyone seated, he turned again to Caitie and asked, “Okay. You’re in love. Now what can I do for you?”

“You can marry the three couples here, Monsignor, quickly. Like this Saturday afternoon, perhaps?”

The priest wasn’t surprised by the fact that Caitie wanted to be married, but was stunned by the timing. Temporizing, he began thoughtfully, “It’s clear you really are in love — you haven’t taken your eyes off Dr. Corcoran since you came in — but it’s such a major step. And then there are so many other things ... A Pre-Cana conference, for example—”

At that point, to Monsignor Ryan’s stunned amazement — and the amazement of the three couples, too — a tiny woman materialized in front of him standing on his desk. But then he realized that wasn’t really true. Although she was in a standing posture, the tiny woman — only about two feet tall — was hovering an inch or so above the desk. Her feet were in the air.

Seeing the expression of consternation on his face and where his eyes were focused, the sprite grinned wryly and murmured, “Whoops! Sorry about that.” With that she settled down the inch or so necessary to have her feet on the desk.

Then extending her hand she said, “I’m Susan Sloan, Monsignor Ryan,” the sprite said. Then to his utter consternation she glanced upward and added, “The Boss sent me.” Seeing that the priest was still beside himself, she continued, “Call the Chancery in New York and ask to speak to Cardinal O’Connor. Tell any intermediaries that you must speak to the cardinal personally regarding Susan Sloan.” When she added the phone number, he did as she had asked.

Caitie had been watching the whole thing in stunned amazement. But there was something else. In spite of the great difference in size between herself and the sprite, and indeed, in spite of the fact that Caitie wasn’t sure what she was, she felt drawn to the woman. As she started to study her more carefully, she realized that Monsignor Ryan was now talking to someone.

“Yes, Your Eminence, I have a speakerphone. Yes sir,” he added and activated it.

The voice at the other end of the phone was speaking. “Since you called about her, am I correct in assuming she’s there with you right now?” When assured she was, the Cardinal — for it was the Cardinal himself on the phone — continued, “Good afternoon, Susie. How are you? Oh! And welcome to New York!”

Susie grinned and said, “Thank you so much, sir. And the Boss sends His highest regards.” She paused for a moment and then continued, “He was particularly impressed by the way you told President Clinton where to head in when he accused you of being involved in politics by speaking out so strongly against abortion.”

“Thank you, Susie,” the Cardinal replied. Then addressing the whole group he said, “First of all, I should tell you I have a call in on another line to our Holy Father. You see, there are private instructions regarding Susie that have been given in strictest confidence to all the bishops of the world. First and foremost, he is to be immediately contacted if Susie appears anywhere.

“Let me tell you about Susie — and that’s the name she prefers, by the way.

“Folks, you are in the presence of Saint Susan Sloan, patriot, martyr, saint, and now one of Almighty God’s archangels! And as I’m sure you know, as an archangel she ranks just below God Himself, but above all the other saints in Heaven, and, indeed, above the other angels.”

He then told how very shortly after being married in Vietnam, she and her husband had been captured. “She was tortured brutally and continuously for over three days. They whipped her to the point that her skin had been totally removed from her body. Her breasts were amputated and broiled. They blinded her, but before putting out her second eye, she asked to be looking at her beloved husband so that the last thing she ever saw would be his face. They cut off her right leg and roasted it. Finally she was able somehow to pull out the suture tying off her femoral artery and bled to a merciful death in moments.”

Continuing, the Cardinal said, “I also called her a patriot. She is. Throughout her ordeal she kept insisting to her husband, Steve, that he not say anything to their captors. We later found out that an ancestor fought at Bunker Hill. Another was on Culp’s Hill at Gettysburg with the 20^th Maine. Another was at Belleau Wood. Her grandfather was a dive-bomber pilot on Enterprise at Midway. Do you remember ‘six minutes that changed the world’? He was one of the guys causing the change.

“We received word from the Highest Authority that it was the prayers of her ancestors that made her strong enough to endure her incredible suffering.

“At any rate,” the Cardinal concluded, “this is Susie Sloan, archangel.” After a pause he said, “Now, Susie, what can we do for you?”

Bill Corcoran had been watching events unfold and then listened to the Cardinal’s words with increasing amazement. They were in the presence of an Angel of God!

With a glance over her shoulder, she asked the Cardinal to wait a moment and then moved through the air to Bill. Extending her hand in greeting, she said, “Hi, Bill Corcoran!” Then with a wry grin she added, “Maybe I am an Angel of God — that’s what you were thinking, wasn’t it? — but I’m the most un-angelic angel you’re ever going to meet.”

Bill couldn’t resist. Reaching out, he took the tiny thing in his arms and moved her face to his. Tipping his head he gently kissed her lips. Instantly he felt a flood of the purest love. But at the same time, to his surprise, Susie’s kiss wasn’t nearly as powerful as Caitie’s.

Shaking her head sadly, Susie said, “You’re right, Bill. My kisses aren’t as powerful as Caitie’s.” Then looking upward she said, “And it’s just not fair! I’m an archangel, for Heaven’s sake. It’s just not fair!”

There was an instant rumble in the room. Divine laughter? Bill wondered.

“To quote a former American president, Susie, ‘Who said the world is fair?’ But why don’t you quit wasting these people’s time and get with the program?” the disembodied Voice rumbled.

“Can you believe it?” Susie asked the group. “The Boss is into slang now, too.”

Then addressing herself to the Cardinal, she said, “Eminence, I’m here because the Boss wants these three couples married quickly! That shouldn’t be too hard to do, should it?”

“That was the voice of Almighty God Himself I just heard, wasn’t it?” the Cardinal said over the speaker phone. After a pause he continued, “Well, when the Supreme Authority says to get with the program...”

At that instant another foreign-sounding male voice was heard. “Susie, how are you! It’s been quite awhile.”

“It’s the same-old, same-old,” Susie replied. “I’m still being put on my tail with monotonous regularity by these kids. And it isn’t fair! I said that when we met, but nothing’s changed.” Then she frowned and added, “That’s not true, either. It’s just getting worse. Now there’s Caitie, Doris...” shaking her head she continued, “and too soon after that, there’s going to be an ex-prostitute, Sandy. It’s just not fair!” she grumped.

“Monsignor Ryan,” Pope John Paul said — it was his voice on the phone — “things are really very simple. Whatever these young people want, you are authorized to do. And I do mean anything! Am I making myself clear?”

Cardinal O’Connor seconded and reinforced the Pope’s instructions and then both hung up.

Caitie realized that poor Monsignor Ryan was now nearly catatonic so she raced out to the kitchen and returned with a large glass of water. She held it to his lips because his hands appeared to be shaking so much she didn’t believe he could even hold the glass by himself. After sipping the water, his color improved a bit. Then Caitie had another idea. Raising the priest’s head, she tipped it and kissed him very gently on the lips while trying to control the flow of her love.

The priest, with his eyes glazed, slowly shook his head. After a moment, he did it again but with more determination. With his eyes again focusing, he looked into Caitie’s eyes, then slowly shook his head.

“You are a living saint, Caitlin Collins!” he murmured. Then more strongly he said, “Admit it, Caitlin. You are a living saint. Never before have I been able actually to see Sanctifying Grace. But in your eyes, I do.”

Then to Susie he said, “Saint Susan, what do you think?” After a pause, his eyebrows beetled and he said, “I’m terribly sorry! I just realized that I don’t know what the correct mode of address is for an archangel.” He paused again, shook his head and added, “For that matter, I’m not sure there even is one!”

Susie was hovering in midair a few feet beyond his desk. Cocking her head, she appeared pensive. Then she cocked it to the other side and she raised an eyebrow. Finally, speaking as if she were thinking out loud she said, “Tell you what ... May I call you Paul?”

“You can call me anything you want!” the priest exclaimed. After a pause he added, “But what does my first name have to do with anything?”

“That’s neat!” the sprite exclaimed. “You call me Susie and I’ll call you Paul.” Again Susie looked thoughtful — or looked like she was trying to look thoughtful — and added, “I don’t think that’s letting the bars down too far. Do you?” Then she floated across the desk and softly kissed the priest on his lips.

Monsignor Ryan’s eyes cleared quickly while Susie just hovered over the desk. “Damn!” she said softly, then looking up she added, “Sorry, Boss. But it just slipped out.”

There was a thunderous roar heard in the room. After a moment, they realized they had just heard a Divine chuckle.

Monsignor Ryan looked puzzled.

“It’s just because my kiss isn’t nearly as powerful as Caitie’s, right, Paul?” Susie asked.

The poor priest just slowly nodded his head, looking more puzzled by the moment.

“That’s just because mine isn’t in her class,” Susie continued in a disgusted tone of voice. “Can you believe it? This is what I was complaining to the Pope about, but it just gets worse...” She paused for a moment, shook her head sadly and said, “And you know what? Caitie really throttled down with her kiss, too. If she had given you her full power you would probably be dead.”

Then Susie looked around and said softly speaking to herself, “Oh, hell! I guess I might as well get it over with.” Then looking upward she added, “I’m sorry, Boss, but ‘Oh, heaven’ just doesn’t make it.”

With that she floated over to Bob Smith, took his face in her hands and unloaded with all of her love. In an instant his eyes glazed over and he slumped over, unconscious. Remarkably, in spite of her small size Susie was able to hold him upright until his eyes began to clear.

Then she moved to Sandy Williams and unloaded again. This time, though, Sandy held the sprite tightly and just returned her love with all of her power. When they slowly eased apart, Susie shook her head to try to clear her brain.

“What did you think, Sandy?”

Sandy Williams looked puzzled. “I ... I ... I don’t understand it. That was an utterly beatific kiss, but...”

“It’s not nearly as powerful as one of Caitie’s, is it?” Sandy slowly shook her head in negation. “That’s what I’ve been screaming about!” Susie wailed. “It’s just not fair! But what do I get when I complain? Divine laughter, for Heaven’s sake! It’s just not fair!” she grumped.