Chapter 29: Dream a Little Dream

The sun was high in the bright blue sky scattered with a small number of wispy white clouds making it blisteringly hot, even in the shade of the grand old oak in the corner of the field I was so familiar with. I could hear the chirping of crickets in the field and the gentle splash of the waves against the rocks at the base of the cliff far below.

It wasn’t long before I felt her presence.

“I’d hoped I wouldn’t ever be here again,” I said without turning around.

“Why not?” She stepped around me and walked the few paces to the cliff’s edge. She looked beautiful. Truly beautiful. There was an ethereal glow about her—the kind of soft-focus effect you see in old movies. Her golden hair shone in the sunlight and she wore a long, flowing white dress. After looking out to sea for a moment, she turned back to me and smiled that smile that had captured my heart. “This place is your sanctuary.”

“Sanctuary? How can you call it a sanctuary after you spent so long torturing me here?”

“I wasn’t torturing you. You were torturing yourself. You’re the one that kept me trapped here. I was just trying to get you to let me go.”

“It didn’t seem that way.”

“But that’s how it was.” She paused. “Let’s not argue over it, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

She turned back to look over the sea again and for what seemed like hours we were quiet, her staring out at sea and me unable to take my eyes off her, such was her beauty in this place, at this time.

Eventually, after I’ve no idea how long, I said, “So what am I doing here? What are you doing here?”

She turned, smiled and walked towards me. When she was standing in front of me, she leaned forward, pushed up onto her tiptoes and kissed my forehead. “I’m here to help. And then to say goodbye.”

“Help me? Not torture me?”

“I told you, I never wanted to torture you. I wanted you to set me free. And you’ve done that. I’m free. I’m in a better place and now I’m here to help.”

“A better place?”

Still smiling she nodded and said, “A place full of love. A place I’ll be loved forever and where I’ll be waiting for you to join me when it’s your time.”

“You’re talking about Heaven?”

“Am I? You tell me.”

“But you know I don’t believe in all that stuff. Heaven. Hell. One True God. I don’t believe any of that stuff.”

“Don’t you? Where am I then?”

I sighed. “Quit playing games, Riss. Just tell me.”

Her smile widened. Her eyes softened. She looked at me with so much love. So much love. It broke my heart that I’d never experience that kind of devotion again.

“And that’s what I’m here to help with. To be able to find love again.” she said. She must have read my thoughts. “Look, do you remember what you said to me once about your parents? You said that as long as you keep them here—” She touched my forehead with her finger, “and here—” She touched my chest. “Then they’ll always be with you and they’ll live forever.”

I nodded. “I remember.”

“Well, you were half right.” Her eyes sparkled for a second then she continued. “For too long, you kept me trapped in here—” She touched my forehead again. “And it was torture. For you and for me. Yes, I was always with you, but neither of us wanted it that way. I wanted you to let me go and you wanted me to leave you alone.”

I nodded.

“And now, you’ve finally let me go. You’ve freed me. And now I live here.” She touched my chest. “Where a small part of your heart will love me forever.”

I fought a losing battle to keep the tears in my eyes from rolling down my cheeks.

She tapped my chest several times. “This is my home now, Paul. But there’s a problem with it.”

“Problem?”

She nodded. “There’s this gaping hole in it. This wound that makes it a less pleasant place to be.”

“Oh.” She was right, of course.

“And I need you to heal the wound, Paul. I need you to heal your wounded heart, just like our song talked about so that I can live here in peace.”

“And how do I do that?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“But I thought you were here to help me.”

“I have helped you.” The love that radiated from her eyes was almost too much to bear. “The first step to solving a problem is always to know what the problem is. Your problem is a wounded heart. And now you know about it, you can start to fix it.”

“So I’m on my own?”

She shook her head. “You’ve never been on your own, Paul. You have good people around you. People who care about you. People who love you.”

“But they can’t help with this, can they?”

She shrugged. “They can help protect your heart while it heals. I don’t know how long it will take, but you will heal, Paul. You will learn to love again. I believe in that.”

“I’m not sure I do.”

“Well, you should. Because until you do...”

She looked down at the floor and when she looked back up again, she was crying. The love still radiated from her eyes but it was tinged with sadness.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s time.”

“Time?”

“To say goodbye. My time is up, Paul. And now I have to say goodbye.” Even as she spoke, she started to fade. I could actually see through her. The world behind her became clearer with each passing second.

“You don’t have to go, Riss. You can stay with me. I want you to stay with me.”

“Which is why I have to go. You won’t heal with me around.”

“I can. I know I can.”

“No. You can’t.” She leaned forward, closed her eyes and pressed her lips to mine. I closed my eyes too, to experience that one last kiss to its fullest. One kiss. Just two sets of lips pressed together in an expression of love.

And when I opened my eyes, she was gone.

I woke with a jolt and pushed up off the bed. Up off the slumbering body beneath me. The room smelled of sex. Raw, passionate sex. I got off the bed and headed into the en-suite to take a piss. Then I went back into the bedroom and opened the window to let some air into the room.