Chapter 9

Barry's turn:

How fast can a day go downhill? I was at work, standard Monday morning, well, different because when I left the house this morning I left behind my angel. Oh, sure. She's got a history. I've got a history. We've run across some of hers. We've run across some of mine.

So what? That's history. She says she wants me forever. I'm just optimistic enough to believe her and take her up on it. We're going to make it official. I didn't push her for that point. It's the way I wanted it, but I didn't push. She did. We were going to get a license this week. That's what was in my head while I was editing reports at the office.

Then the phone call. My cellphone. And the display said 'Jessica'. We'd had the conversation about calls during work hours. Wasn't something that we were going to do, except emergencies, ergo...

"Jessica?"

"Barry, don't jump off the deep end, but I'm on the way to the emergency room. A guy tried to rape me at the old house."

My heart fell. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. This is mostly precautionary. He knocked me out. Didn't rape me, though..."

"How bad? Emergency room?"

She told me the hospital she was going to, and tried to soothe me. "I'll be there as soon as I can," I said. I dodged by the boss's office on the way out the door and drove as rapidly as I could manage to get to the hospital halfway to the middle of town.

There was a brief exchange at the door of the ER as I made my way in. I explained that I was the fiancé and got directed to an examining room. I found my Jessica. The obvious thing was a bright red weeping mark on her cheek. I actually think she was worried about ME.

I stood by her side when she gave her version of the event to the police and I was by her side when the ER doc looked at her X-rays and examined her bruises and I was at her side when she got her cheek bandaged. I'm supposed to be at her side.

There are a million ideas that can go through a guy's head in this situation. Jessica had told me a lot about her past, many 'partners', all that. Some thoughts tried to bubble up in my head. But when I saw Jess's face ... either she's a great actor, or she's being truthful with me.

Her tone of voice, her expressions, her demeanor, none of these showed me anything to support the idea that she was holding anything back.

I got her away from the hospital. She had a dressing on the side of her face, but that didn't stop us from kissing. In the car she added a few details she might have left out of the version of the story she told the police, how she found herself caught flat-footed and her best recourse was to play along until an opening presented itself for her to fight back.

The guy has a torn scrotum and might lose a testicle. That's pretty good evidence of fighting back.

She made me go to her old house to retrieve her car. While we were there, we hauled out the most important of her possessions. I saw the trail of blood from her bed, down the hall, through the living room, all the way to the driveway. She must've done him pretty good.

I followed her home.

Home. Yes, it's been MY home for some years. Now it's Jessica's home, too. We grabbed a load of boxes and took them inside. Before I could turn around for a second load, I got trapped against the wall by a bandaged, tearful Jessica.

That's easy. Just hold on tight to what's in my arms. And kiss. Kisses are definitely called for.

"I need MY Barry," she sobbed.

"You got me, Jess."

"Oh, Barry, honest! All I said was 'hi' to 'im. That's all ... He thought that I was the old Jessica, always good for a bounce ... I'm NOT. Not any more. I want you and you alone."

"You got me," I reiterated. "I love you. Like having you in my life. Like having a life to share with you."

"Are you sure, Barry? I dunno what other kinds of crap will hunt me down from my old life ... Maybe you CAN'T get away from your past." She sobbed, holding my face between her hands demanding kisses from me.

"Baby, I'm yours. I'll be right there fighting for you."

"Are you sure? Really sure?"

"You said something about a marriage license. I'm THAT sure..."

"Baby, we can wait."

"Look, Jessica. If YOU want to wait because YOU are not sure, then we wait. Me? I'm sure."

"But my history..."

"Are you hiding anything? Something you haven't told me?"

"No. You know what I was."

"You're not that any more, right?"

She was shaking her head as her lips met mine. Salty tears flavored the kiss. "I'll be YOUR Jessica. Nobody else's. I never came close to making that commitment, Barry. Not until you."

Another kiss, not quite the same feeling as one of those 'take me to bed and DO me' kisses. This one was deep and searching. When our lips parted she said simply, "Let's go get the rest of the stuff out of our cars, then go get that license."

"Yes ma'am," I said.

A couple of trips out and back in and we had the boxes inside. She locked her car. We took mine to the courthouse. A few bucks, the presentation of some documents, and we walked out into the sunlight bearing between us a piece of paper that the state said would make us one. Of course, we'd already decided we were 'one'. This one will get her on my insurance and perform a lot of other legal magic. Good to be legal. Better to be meant to be together.

Sadly, the day's fun wasn't over. No sooner had we gotten back to the car than her phone chimed. She looked.

"Brittany," she mouthed. "Shhhh!" then "Hello, Brit." Pause. She put the iPhone on her thigh and pushed the icon to put the sound through the speaker.

" ... and there's blood all the way from the bedroom out the front door. On the porch. On the driveway. What did you DO?!?" Brittany's voice was strident, full of mixed emotions. One of them was anger.

"He tried to RAPE me, Brit. I grabbed 'is balls and yanked. HARD!"

"I can't get ahold of him. He ... his phone goes straight to voicemail."

"He's either still in the hospital under police custody or he's in jail..."

"For WHAT?!?" Brittany said loudly.

Jessica's voice took a tone I'd never heard her use. Very serious. Matter of fact. "Britt, I told you twice now. He tried to RAPE me. He held me down. When I fought back, he hit me, knocked me out. Assault and attempted rape, Brit. Crimes. Against ME! YOUR housemate for the last year."

I heard Brit breathe over the phone. "Uh, Jess, I know that you 'n' him, y'all..."

"That was a YEAR ago and just because at one time I consented doesn't mean that he has a lifetime pass. I said no. He kept going. Grabbed my arm. I have the bruises."

"So, okay, let's just say..."

"Say NOTHING, Brit! He DID. Said all you did for 'im last night was blow 'im and he wanted more..."

"Bastard!" Brit snapped.

"He's always kinda had that reputation, Brit ... I quit goin' where he showed up. YOU brought 'im home with you..."

"He's ... I..." Brit stuttered.

"You blew 'im, Brit."

"I didn't think my period'd stop 'im," she said. "I thought ... Well, you know ... sometimes you just wanna..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Jess said, shaking her head, her eyes on me. "Sometimes you wanna ... sometimes you just don't care if he wants ... Brit, there's a real man in my life, not one of those arrested adolescents we used to play with, and if I wanna, it's with HIM. And if he wants, it's with ME. And that means no Justin or anybody else. Not happening. You know I made changes in my life, Brit."

"I know, but I thought it was like one of those diet cleanse things, just get rid of the toxins and then start over again..."

"That's a pretty good one," Jess said, almost chuckling. "I have detoxed, Brit. And I'm on a new, healthy lifestyle."

"Well good for YOU," Brit replied, a bite in her words. "Who's gonna clean up this blood?"

"I suspect that's between you and your boyfriend, Brit. I'm not going back there."

"You could at least help..."

"I suggest a detergent and a bit of bleach, Brit. Bye." She punched the button to drop the call.

"Old life, Barry. Not going back."

"You've pretty much burned that bridge, Jess."

"Take me home. I need to shower. This has not been a good day."

"I'm at your command, princess," I said.

"More than normal?" she started that little smile.

"Even more than normal."

Uncharacteristically, Jessica called her employer and announced a couple of sick days.

"I'm not irresponsible, you know," she explained to me. "I'm just not up to it. I know you understand."

"I do. You're handling the day quite well."

"I'm on the edge of a breakdown. Serious, Barry. Take me inside, wash me up good, then put me in bed. I may require further attentions, but let's play that by ear..."

"I've always worshiped your ear," I said.

"I know. Melts me down." Her hand fastened to the inside of my bicep, followed by her leaning over to place her cheek on my shoulder. That move got a little "Ow!"

"Careful, sweetie," I said. "Those things usually get more sore over the next day or so. You got clocked pretty good."

"I don't think he knew what he was doing – just thrashing around. I was in the way."

"I imagine that having one's scrotum torn open interferes with thought patterns. Hurts to think about it."

"I heard you go for the genitals or the eyes," Jess said. "I just knew that I either had to fight 'im or let 'im fuck me. I fought."

"Apparently it worked." I thought of something. "Hungry? While we're out?"

"I don't wanna go out right now. Can we do something at the house?"

"I can do something quick, or we can order a stupid pizza."

"A mentally challenged pizza sounds good. That leaves you free to hold me for a while."

I see that Jess is on an emotional roller coaster here. My best bet is to ride along with her. "Order a pizza. It'll get there after we do."

We got home. Jess started emptying boxes, putting her things where they belonged in our house. That task was a time-filler. It was interrupted when the pizza arrived. Jess was somewhat subdued during dinner. I guess I understand.

Half the pizza took care of the two of us. I fought a bit with her, making the other half into leftovers.

"Breakfast," I said. "Pizza improves with age."

"I've had it. Don't understand your enthusiasm," she said as she put the dishes into the dishwasher.

I came up behind as she stood. I was debating the idea of wrapping her up in my arms in view of her having survived a rape attempt today.

I still don't know my Jessica. She glanced over her shoulder, saw me, and backed up against me. "Wrap me up. You, I want to possess me."

I wrapped her in my arms, bent to kiss the side of her neck.

"Mmmmmm," was her response.

"I thought being a modern woman was all about not being some man's possession," I japed.

"Oh, but no, kind sir," she popped. "It becomes a bi-directional deal. I give you consent to possess me, you thereby imply consent to be possessed by me."

"My kind of deal," I said.

"Yeah, Barry. Especially since I have a marriage license with our names on it. Come on..." She stepped out of my grasp, turned and pulled me by the belt. "Bedroom. I need validation."

I think we validated the daylights out of each other. I tried to avoid the blue bruise on her leg, but then that leg was on one side of me, its complement was on the other, her head was tossed back, eyes squeezed shut as I ran down trig tables trying NOT to erupt inside her until...

"OHGODBARRY!!!!"

I think I turned my genitalia inside out.

Post-coital bliss. Lassitude. Languor.

"If we don't move, we'll go to sleep right now and I'll wake up at midnight..." she said softly, almost listlessly.

"And do this again..." I said just above a whisper.

"I didn't just use you, you know, Barry," she spoke. I could see that lucidity was returning to my little lover.

"I used you right back if you did."

"I love you. I remind myself that when we make love, I desire to make love and I desire to give to you and I desire to receive from you ... It's not an act. It's a joining. Spiritual. Much more than physical. You give that to me."