There are lots of ways for a flashy blonde to make money in Tampa, but a drug problem reduces the choices to just a few. When cocaine smiled at me, I smiled back. When she grabbed me by the soul, I became her slave.

"Martinez, I need something bad. You've got to help me out man."

"I don't got to do nothing, Mary Kay. You the dumb cunt who couldn't get her ass out of bed and now you got no job. Hey, bitch, it's not my fucking problem, you know what I mean?"

"I'm starting work someplace else in a couple of days. Give me a G for now and I'll pay you back as soon as I start working."

"You was all right when you was only chipping, baby, but now you're too fucking high maintenance and you sure ain't no fun."

When I arrived in Tampa, I'd been on the road four months trying to forget the person I left behind. Someone who took three years to die. Someone who only cried once or twice, not like me who cried every time I was alone. When she couldn't work, I stopped, too. When she went to the hospital, I spent my waking hours at her side. Our attorney gave me the paper she signed and said a hospital might let me make a decision. When the doctor told me she was brain dead I was strong and knew what I had to do. She loved the ocean and wanted to be there forever. I threw her ashes into the Pacific and when I got back home I wasn't strong anymore.

I made a lot of money selling our home but had to use most of the cash to pay Mallory's hospital bills. I was left with ten-thousand dollars and a classic 1964 Jaguar named Chester. I went off on a pilgrimage, just me and Chester, trying to forget.

The journey started when we left Los Angeles and it didn't take long before Chester roared across the California-Arizona border. Straight highway and no police.

Mallory loved songs by the Eagles and I decided to find out what they saw from that corner in Winslow, Arizona. My mother never wanted to meet the woman I loved and I thought it was time to show Mallory's spirit the West Texas town where I grew up. Four years earlier Mallory pretended to get mad at me for flashing my tits at Mardi Gras so I took her memories to that same street corner in New Orleans and flashed an early-morning delivery guy. I went to Gallatin, Tennessee and visited Mallory's cousin. He said he'd get me a job and help with a place to stay. I left when he tried to put his hand down my blouse. I met our friends in New York City. We drank vodka and ate fish eggs in the Russian Tea Room. I went to Virginia Beach and remembered the day she laughed at the tiny waves that plinked against the sand.

I did other things like getting drunk, smoking dope, doing ups, downs and some sideways if I couldn't find what I needed. I finally ran out of map and decided it was time to settle down.

Martinez wasn't the ugliest man I'd ever seen, but he was a close second or third. A gold tooth set off his pocked-marked face and he'd need to stand on a box if he wanted to look me in the eye. Even so a dopeman can have his choice from all the girls who need a taste. He liked blondes with big butts and this one still looked fresh.

"Don't ruin my birthday party, Martinez."

Ashley thought it was a two-way relationship and Martinez didn't seem to care she was running her mouth in front of fifteen or twenty of his friends.

"Sorry, baby, but this is business. Let me get rid of the bitch."

"Wait a minute, maybe this can be business and pleasure."

I stood there waiting while she whispered something in his ear and watched his expression change from pissed-off to happy.

"Ashley thinks I should help you out, Mary Kay. Something to get you back on your feet. So if I help you, I know you won't mind doing something for me. Yah, you can be the entertainment and if you do good I give you some shit to keep you going a couple days; you know what I mean, Chica?"

"No, Martinez, why don't you spell it out."

I didn't have a clue where this was going, but I could tell from the look on Ashley's face I wasn't going to like the destination.

"Ashley, you tell her the idea. It's your present."

She decided to make me wait while she adjusted the hem on her silk dress and pretended to be searching for those just-right words. She was shorter than Martinez and had a figure that was trying to bust out of her skin-tight dress. I have nice-size breasts, but felt small when I saw what she had to offer. This was the first time I'd met Ashley and I already hated her, but the coke was more important than making a statement. I waited to hear what she had to say.

"If you're willing to do three little things, you can party here all night. We got plenty of what you need." She pointed at a mound of coke in a bowl on the nearby table.

"What do I have to do, Ashley?" I wanted to get it over with and thought it didn't matter what the three things were, as long as I was stoned right after I did them.

Before Ashley could talk, Martinez cut her off and said, "Yah, yah, you do this stuff and I'll front you a couple grams until you start your new job. You'll be straight, but you better do things right. You know what I mean?"

Ashley looked like a cat getting ready to play with a mouse. She gave me a weird smile and said, "Let's see, I have this fantasy about watching a girl do some things."

"What do you have in mind, Ashley?" She was making me wait, making me squirm, making me suffer.

"No big thing. A girl like you must have done a lot of stuff so this will be easy."

I could tell by the way she talked she was slamming me and I knew I'd find out how bad things were going to get soon enough.

"You're a dancer so the first part is easy. I want you to dance and be real sexy. Take your time and end up wearing nothing but your high heels."

"What are the other two things?"

"Oh no, it'll ruin the secret if I tell you. Don't worry, you can do them, no sweat."

The people in the room had stopped talking and I knew they were waiting to see if I'd be willing to undress. Someone put a CD on the player and turned up the sound. I'd been stripping at a club in downtown Tampa and was used to taking my clothes off in public. I don't know why, but I felt embarrassed doing it for Ashley and her friends. It didn't make sense. A soul thief, pure and white, had crawled under my skin and took control. My dignity was an easy price to pay for her comfort, a very easy price. I danced in time to the music and tried to will my mind to some other place.

My hands moved slowly on my breasts, across my tummy, over my hips and down my legs. I could look sexy even if I didn't feel that way. The people in the crowd were getting into my dance and I heard the same lewd remarks I heard at the club where I worked.

"Take you' time, Mary Kay. We want a show or else it's no good."

Ashley seemed to know I was embarrassed and she was enjoying watching me suffer. I decided she could go fuck herself and I got lost in the music.

I pulled my dress up the length of my thigh. I heard some guy shout out, "Show us more of them red panties, baby. Show us what the fuck you got."

The dress fell from my fingers and I made them wait to see more. The party crowd went wild when I bent over, arched my back and moved my ass real slow. Most of the guys were Latinos and let me know they liked what I was doing. "Shake that thing, puta. Show papi what you got."

I straightened up and let my new fans watch me pull the zipper down the back of my dress. By the time my zipper was opened to my butt, the crowd could see I wasn't wearing a bra. I turned around and instead of dropping my top, I held it up with my hand and pulled my arm out of one sleeve. When it was free I did the same with the other arm. I was holding up the front of my dress by squeezing my breasts and pretending I was turned-on. I let my audience check out the sides of my breasts first and moved my hands down until they could see the rose color that marked the top of my areolas. I could feel the anticipation as I touched and caressed myself. I teased the front of my dress until my tits were almost on display. I was sure everyone was watching to see when I'd show my nipples. The crowd cheered when I let the front fall down to my hips. My red thong was visible and the onlookers encouraged me to take it all off.

I took some time to play with my boobs and ran my hands up and down my hips. The dress looked like it was ready to fall off, but somehow it stayed around my hips long enough for me to do some slow bumps and grinds. The wild shouting that filled the room told me I was doing things right.

When I gave my dress a push it dropped to the floor to the sounds of applause. I could feel eyes tracking on my tits, my ass and the tiny red satin triangle covering my pussy.

"Show us your pussy. Show us you pussy, now."

There's an art to taking panties off for an audience. I eased one side of my thong down an inch or two and moved the other side down until my pubic hair peeked out above the red satin and lace that hid my pussy. I turned around and bent over again. Everyone could watch me slide my thong down and uncover my ass. I kept my ass moving and could tell a lot of people liked what they saw.

"Oh, mama, I'm fuckin' in love."

When I thought they'd seen enough of my butt, I stood up and turned around quick enough to bounce my tits. I wiggled my ass and the thong slipped down my hips and the crowd could see the tiny patch of hair on my mons highlighting my shaved pussy. I kept moving and felt the thong drop lower and lower. Finally, I got it to fall all the way down to the floor and I was able to use my foot to slide the thong off one leg. I put the other leg on the edge of a chair and the guy sitting there finished stripping me. I stood up wearing four-inch heels and nothing else. I moved away before the guy holding my thong could grab my ass.

I danced around some more and made sure everyone got a good look at what I had to offer. When the music stopped I found myself standing in front of Ashley and I was completely nude.

"That was hot, Mary Kay, and you're going to be happy you were so sexy when you find out what the next little thing is."

Ashley was checking out my body like she was one of the boys. She wet her lips with her tongue and took her time moving her gaze from my feet to my face with stops in between at my pussy and tits.

"I want you to stay close to me for the next part so I can watch what you do."

Martinez decided it was time to add something to the conversation.

"Holy shit, Mary Kay, too bad Ashley's here 'cause I could think of some good ways for you to pay for your coke, baby."

"Stop it, Martinez, I'm all the woman you need."

She pretended to slap him, but I could tell she enjoyed watching me stand there naked with all the guys making remarks about my body and what they wanted to do with me.

"Okay, we need Jumbo for the next part."

Jumbo was Martinez' bodyguard. His size made up for what he lacked in intellect. He had to be 6' 6" and must have weighed well over 300 pounds. He stood next to Ashley and was trying to hide his erection by holding his hands in front of his pants.

"Don't worry about your hard-on, Jumbo," she said. "I'm sure you're not the only guy pushing out the front of his pants. Mary Kay is a babe and making her strip to her skin is enough to get everybody going."

Even if I liked guys, which I mostly don't, Jumbo wouldn't be on my list of favorites. It wasn't only that he was big and dumb: he had scars all over his face and arms. It looked like he'd been in one too many knife fights. He was missing some teeth and had trouble focusing his eyes. He was the kind of nightmare that belonged in a dark alley.

"As everyone can see, you got poor Jumbo hard as a rock, Mary Kay, and it's your job to do something about it. Why don't you kneel down and suck him off?"

I stood there and checked to see if I had any dignity left. Before I could find out for sure, Martinez said, "On your knees, bitch. You suck my boy off or it's your ass."

I dropped to my knees and unzipped Jumbo's pants. One of the guys pushed forward to get a better look. "She's going to do it. The bitch is going to do it. All right, Jumbo, stuff her mouth, man. Go for it, vato. Give her the big one."

His cock felt warm to my touch and after a struggle, I finally was able to free Jumbo Junior from its hiding place. I decided to get it over with fast. I sucked hard on the end of his cock and used my hand to start jacking him off. I used my other hand to tease his balls and had him moaning like a baby in less than a minute. He thrust his body into my face and I gagged when I felt his cock press on the back of my throat. My head moved with him until I got into his rhythm. I let a finger wander from his balls to the sensitive place behind his package. When I pretended I was going to push my finger into his asshole, his cock exploded into my mouth. It must have been some time since he'd gotten off because I almost choked on the flood of sperm. I sucked him dry and somehow was able to swallow almost all his hot jism. He pulled away and stepped off to hide his pride and joy.

"Mary Kay, you really know how to suck. I bet all the boys wish they were Jumbo." She seemed to enjoy watching me try to clean a speck of cum from my face. "Now stand here in front of me and spread your legs. I want a good look at your pussy."

She let her finger wander through the little patch of hair above my pussy. Then she let her hand trail down to the bare skin under the little clump marking my private area. I reacted when her fingers touched my pussy lips and I tried to move away.

"Oh, you've done so good up till now. Don't screw up on the last little thing. All you have to do is stand there, Mary Kay, stand still and let me play."

Ashley was trying to act like a young girl, but I knew I was being punished for the way Martinez was looking at my body.

She let her fingers caress my pussy and moved them gently over my sensitive skin. It was hard to explain why I was turned on by the things that were happening. When Ashley touched me, I felt myself start to lose control. Her fingers had me moving and squirming.

Her fingers explored my slit. She applied some pressure with her middle finger and I felt it slide into my wet pussy. She moved her hand to and fro with her finger sliding deep into my hidden place. She kept going until I felt my juices splash on my inner thighs.

When she heard my tiny moan, she let another finger join the fun and soon had two digits exciting the inside of my pussy with two others moving over my engorged labia. She rubbed the palm of her hand on my erect clit and teased it as she explored the secrets of my womanhood. I found myself involuntarily moving against her and getting into a groove when she suddenly closed her hand and pulled me toward her with the two fingers she had buried in my cunt.

I was next to her chair when she started up again. This time she didn't tease, she moved her hand relentlessly in and out between my legs. Her other hand slipped behind me and squeezed my butt cheeks. She was able to get a finger near my asshole. I felt myself getting ready to explode and hoped my orgasm would be quiet. When I was ready to cum, she stopped.

"You really like this. Do you want some more?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but she didn't wait. She just laughed and started in again. It didn't take as long for me to lose control the second time. She brought me close to orgasm but again stopped before I came. She did this three more times until I was ready to crawl out from under my skin.

"Now if you say please, I'll finish you off. Say 'please', Mary Kay."

"Please finish me off, Ashley." For some reason when she made me ask to be humiliated I felt a lot worse.

When her fingers moved I started moaning.

"Okay, boys, keep your eyes on the bitch. She's getting ready to do something."

When she finished talking my body shivered and I felt an orange explosion rip through my brain and take control of my body. I could smell my cum as it dripped down my leg and coated her hand. I could hear my scream merge with the noise from the crowd of people who were watching Ashley get me off. I heard the applause and knew I'd be the talk of the town.

Ashley seemed pleased with herself. She was able to humiliate and degrade me in front of the people at her birthday party and make me look small in front of Martinez. I thought she was finished until she said, "Now you run right over to the coke bowl, Mary Kay, and have as much as you can snort. You can party all night as long as you don't put your clothes back on."

"Why can't I put my clothes on, Ashley?"

"The guys seem to like looking at you so why not give them something to see? You cover up and you have to leave."

I didn't argue and went over to the mound of coke where I laid out four big lines. I found a straw and snorted all four and laid out a couple more. I was beginning to feel the first hits while I was doing the second lines and realized it was the best coke I'd ever had.

The rest of the night was hazy. I know I did a lot of coke and my naked body encouraged some guys to explore my wares. I remember hands touching me everywhere and people trying to put their fingers in my pussy and my asshole. Kisses and bites. Crude words and humiliation. I struggled and tried to keep them away but I was loaded and couldn't put up much resistance.

I remember being pushed face down over the arm of the couch with my ass sticking up in the air. I tried to get up when I felt someone separating my butt cheeks, but I couldn't move. I was being ripped open by the cock that forced its way into my backside.

"Hurry up, Chavo, my turn next."

"She got more than one hole, let me in there, too."

"The bitch is tight, man. Wait till you feel her ass. It's like a pillow, man."

I think I got fucked in the ass more than once. I couldn't count how many times I got fucked. I gave some guy a blow job to keep him out of my other places. I remember seeing Ashley watching.

I remember her laughing.

A lot more must have happened because every part of my body was sore when I woke up in a strange pace. It took me a few seconds to realize I was on the couch in my dope dealer's apartment. My morning depression told me I'd done a lot of coke, not that I needed a reminder. I was trying to find my clothes and thinking about doing another line when Ashley came into the room.

"You were the hit of my eighteenth birthday party, Mary Kay. I never saw a girl handle so much action. The guys loved you."

I didn't need to hear any of that. "Where are my clothes?"

"I think someone must have taken your thong, but here's your dress. It's messed up because it's been on the floor all night, but at least you'll be covered when you go home."

Messed up meant my dress was rolled up in a ball and soaked in beer. I was sure my neighbors would love watching me try to sneak into my apartment wearing that outfit.

"Here's a couple of grams and some advice. If I find you fucking my man, I'll kill you. You understand?"

"I understand Ashley and don't worry, I'm not interested in Martinez. I just want to leave."

"Hey, Mary Kay, time to wake up and go to work."

"Leave me alone, Vernae, I want to sleep in today."

I'd been working at my new job for a couple of months, but it seemed like I'd always been there. Days never changed. Make enough money to buy drugs. Do enough drugs to forget how I get paid. Never have enough money. Always too much day.

"Why don't you call the club and tell them I'm sick."

"Now get your ass out the bed, and get moving girl. You got to make some money to pay your part of the rent."

Vernae was a dancer and worked with me at the club. She was a Tampa native and knew her way around town. Dancing was not the only thing we had in common. We both used coke to ease the pain and made enough money dancing to pay for our lifestyle. Neither one of us was much into men. Not an unusual attitude for nude dancers who get to see men at their worst. In our case, however, not caring for men wasn't a problem since we both liked women. We'd been sharing the same bed since two days after we met. I wouldn't say I was in love, but a lot was going on under the sheets.

I was still the new girl, and low seniority put me on the day shift. Vernae worked days too because she did some out-call work at night.

"Now we better take two cars today because I'm doing some party work for Mr. Silk. He got some boy coming from out of town and he say the man like brown sugar. I'll be making good money telling a white boy how much he do it for me."

"Why are you taking chances, Vernae. You could get your ass hurt or worse, baby."

"I got a project in mind," Vernae said. "I need some money and I'm not getting nowhere dancing at the club."

"What's your project? You didn't tell me you had something going on."

"I'm not talking till I got the money. You're gonna be surprised, baby. Yes, indeed."

I looked at the clock radio and noticed we were up an hour early. I knew what waking up early meant. Vernae never asked for sex. She expected me to know when she wanted to make love and pouted if I missed the signs. Waking me up an hour early was a sign.

She had a pillow behind her back and was sitting up in bed. I could see the curves of her slender body from her waist to her perfect breasts. Not a bad way to start my day.

"Hey, you're not wearing any clothes, Vernae."

"Don't be silly. You know I only wear a smile to bed."

"Are you sure? Let me check."

I moved close and put my hand on her bare tummy. I let my hand slide under the covers and into the patch of hair I found waiting for me. When my hand moved lower I could tell the things she'd been thinking about before she woke me up.

"Nope, nothing here but this wet stuff. What do you call these -- tasty fixin's?"

"Now, Mary Kay, don't get me started or we'll be in bed all day."

"If I was trying to get you started, I'd rub my tits on you like this." I pressed my chest against her arm and moved back and forth and let her feel my hard nipples slide over her smooth skin. I moved closer and let my other hand slide behind her neck.

"Now if I was really trying to start something I'd probably kiss you like this."

"Watch what you're doing, girl. You keep that up and we'll be in bed all day."

She pretended she wanted me to stop after the first kiss. She didn't try all that hard and we were soon wrapped in each other's arms. Her breasts were pressed against mine and her mouth seemed to suck my tongue into her warmth. I could feel her try to slide off her pillow and when she was on her back, I let my leg slip over one of hers.

"You white girls sure are pushy, my, my."

"Less talk and more action, Vernae. It's your turn to give me a kiss."

I was up on my elbows looking down at her face. Our breasts were touching and I was able to grind my pussy on her leg. I could feel the soft thrust of her sex as she met my advances. She pulled my head to her face and we kissed. Her hand moved down my back and pressed my ass into her body. She arched her back when I sprinkled her with tiny kisses and covered her face and neck and shoulders with presents from my lips. Her hands were busy under the covers and seemed to find all my favorite places.

The blankets were pushed aside and I raised up to get a better look at her body. Long and slender legs. Graceful arms. Curves, beautiful breasts, soft shoulders, silky chocolate skin.

"You're my baby. Yah, stay in bed all day."

"Good idea," I said.

I wanted to touch everywhere, but settled for kisses on her lips, her neck, her breasts and tummy. I kissed my way back to her mouth and lifted her up and placed her on the diagonal of our bed. I looked at her beauty and said, "I need more hands and arms and legs. I want to touch you everywhere. Everywhere."

I turned my body so I could see her legs. I pushed them open and kissed her inner thighs. My lips teased up toward her pussy, but I stopped short of that goal and kissed my way down the length of her other thigh. She moaned when I failed to give her what she wanted.

I moved my leg over her head until it rested on the other side of her body. I felt her hand pull my hips back toward her face and I adjusted myself until her tongue was touching my wet pussy.

Her clit was hard and I pretended to try and suck it into my mouth. My head shook back and forth gently playing with the tiny vixen that causes women so much trouble. My nose was close to her slit and I could smell her heat. I let my teeth nibble the length of her slit and touched her asshole with my tongue. I could feel her writhing and moving under me.

Her tongue was busy on my clit teasing me relentlessly. She wasn't playing now and I found it difficult to concentrate on what I was trying to do. I felt a hand stroke my lower back and another explored the curves of my ass. I loved hearing her noises and she seemed to be echoing my own sounds. Breathing hard, skin glistening, bodies moving together.

The first time women go to bed, they worry about doing things right. Sometimes there's too much talking, too much worry, too much thinking about pleasing the other person. After awhile those thoughts fade away. Love can get boring or love can be wonderful. Our sex was more than wonderful and seemed to get better each time we made love.

"Hold me tight baby, I'm going to come. Mary Kay, Mary Kay, Mary Kay. Oh, ooh. OOOH."

Hearing her scream out my name did something to my mind and when I felt her lips back on my pussy, my own orgasm took control. I was able to keep my face pressed against her pussy and taste the juices from the lust she had for me. An explosion of the sweet and warm.

We stayed like that until our bodies got past the shock and then cuddled under the covers, touching, petting and little kisses.

"I love you, Mary Kay. You're so good for me."

"I love you, too, sweetie. How about a little kiss?"

"Lay out some lines for us Mary Kay. I need something to help me forget I'm getting out the bed to leave you for some asshole guy with a slave fantasy."

We both did a few lines and I stuck small bottles of powder into our purses. Now we could make it through the day.

"Okay, Mary Kay, you're up next."

The manager told me it was my turn to dance. The stage wasn't big, just enough room for two or three girls. During the day, one girl danced on stage and the rest walked around looking for someone who wanted a lap dance.

He said, "The suits drinking beer seem to be tipping pretty good, but watch out 'cause they got their hands going on big time." I was hoping to make some tips.

Each girl spent ten minutes dancing before she was replaced by the next in rotation. There was no point wasting time being coy. I usually wore a transparent top, bikini panties and stacked high heels. The shoes made me taller than most guys in the club and for some reason they liked looking up at me.

I was wearing nothing but shoes thirty seconds into the first song. I moved around the stage and made sure all the guys got a good look at my tits and ass. I had my hair down and let it cover my nipples so I could hear the boys beg.

Guys who come to strip clubs during the day aren't as loud and boisterous as their night time counter parts. A lot of them are drunks who pretend they are checking out the babes while they get wrecked. Some guys are addicted to the scene. There are other reasons, but I didn't care much what they were as long as no one ran out of money.

"Hey, bitch, show us your pussy."

My pubic hair was trimmed and I used Jolene to give it a blonde look. For some reason guys loved to discover I was a 'natural' blonde and I made sure they had the chance.

"Get that money maker in front of my face. Let's see what you got."

I wondered if the asshole talked to his wife like he was talking to me. I saw the dollar on the stage near where he was sitting and danced over to pick up the money. For a dollar, I'd squat down until I could lean back and put my hands on the stage. When I was secure, I'd move my ass around and the guy who made the donation could try to check out my tonsils by looking up my pussy. I'd do more if I saw a bigger bill.

"Goddam, you got a hot pussy and I know what you need to fill it up. Here's something for you, baby. Come and get it."

The guy was holding a five and looked like he knew what he wanted for his money. I got up and moved over to where he was sitting. He was breaking the rules by putting his beer bottle on the stage, but the bouncer didn't seem to care and I didn't either.

"You get the five if you make my beer taste better."

When I first started dancing in a club I wondered why a guy would spend so much money just looking and maybe think he was getting lucky when a girl rubbed her tits in his face or ground her ass into his crotch. A guy could drive around the corner and pick up a girl who'd do him in his car. She could get his rocks off for less and still get him home in time for dinner.