Chapter 73: A Lot to Be Thankful For, Part IV

November 1984, Chicago, Illinois

When Leila and I had dressed, after our shower, she grabbed me and hugged me tightly.

"Thank you," she said.

"I should thank you!" I answered. "That was out of this world!"

"You are only my third lover. The first was my uncle, and I was with him several times over the course of two years. Then, one boy at Loyola, but in the end, he was too rough. You were perfect. You wouldn't happen to have a friend at Loyola, would you?"

I chuckled, "I have lots of friends. I don't know anyone at Loyola except Sofia, and most of my friends are girls, anyway."

"Too bad. A man like you would be perfect. You remind me quite a bit of my uncle — strong, but gentle, though you don't have a mustache like he does, and he's about twenty years older than you are. You know exactly what to do. Could we do this again?"

"We might be able to arrange that before you go back to school on Sunday."

"I hope so!" she exclaimed, giving me a last hug.

Leila helped me remake the bed, and I lit one of my scented candles, and then we went downstairs to have lunch. Bethany must have heard us and came out of the study to have lunch with us. Sofia and Alejandra joined us later, exchanging looks with Leila, that confirmed our morning activity.

After lunch, Bethany and I went to my study with cups of tea. She had to leave for Milford, but wanted to talk before she left. She'd read through most of the first four volumes of my journal, which took us to our graduation from High School and Jennifer's bombshell about going to Stanford instead of IIT.

"So?" I asked.

"I think I understand the situation with Becky a whole lot better now, and I think Anala had a point about how you and Becky were so intertwined and how she affected everything that happened afterwards. While I can't excuse the cheating incident, I can certainly understand it. I also didn't realize the very, very deep emotional and psychological impact that it had on you, and how devastated you were that your sister was rejecting you.

"If you had been honest with Jennifer and Kara, and to some extent, me, you might have avoided quite a bit of pain. It was clear that you had written off Karin already by that point, and that you were only moving forward with Jennifer because you had promised to, though I wonder if you analyzed that correctly. I think it was more than just your promise. You love Jennifer and you've always loved her. But something troubled you and you couldn't place your finger on it. I think you know what most of that is now.

"Part of this is 20/20 hindsight, but there were quite a few times when a wiser decision on your part could have made your life a lot easier. A lot less interesting, but a lot easier. I've talked with Kara a few times about what she initially wanted from you, and it's clear that she was looking for someone to rebel with. You were the perfect person. You intrigued her and excited her, and you were dangerous. But she knew for sure that sex with you was going to be the most amazing thing she'd ever done in her life.

"Her spirit needed to be set free, and the act of you tearing her maidenhead was what released her to be who she's become. There were quite a few pitfalls along the way, the biggest of which was the two of you falling in love. Had you two just fucked, and had a hot, torrid affair for a month or two, she'd have escaped her father without all the later drama. But that didn't happen. Then, when she thought that Jennifer was your future, Kara did the only thing she could. She set you free. I have to say that I can't complain about that, because I had the best Prom that anyone could ever expect! And I think you did, too. I know Kathy thinks so!"

I chuckled, "That was a damned good weekend!"

"Anyway, then the shit hit the fan when Jennifer dropped her second bombshell. I haven't read your journal that far yet, so I can only go based on what you've told me, but had you been honest, it never would have gone down that way and right now you might be living with Jennifer. And that would have ended badly because her lesbianism would have come out in ways that made you feel so rejected that you might have run away to Sweden and never come back. I need to read more, but I have to say, I understand you even better than I did before."

"And is this good or bad?"

"I know all the bad, Steve. All of it. And I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are, Sweetheart. And I love you for it. And for everything else."

"I need to get going, but I'll be back on Saturday just after lunch. We can talk more on Sunday before I go to Madison."

I pulled her into my arms; we hugged, kissed softly, and then went to my room so she could grab her overnight bag. I helped her get her bags from the study room and load them into her car, and then she went to say goodbye to the others. I walked Bethany out to her car and took her into my arms.

"Thanks for visiting these few days. I wish I could see you more often, but we both have school," I said.

"And you need time for your dalliances," she giggled. "I assume Alejandra and Leila were satisfactory? And satisfied?"

I chuckled, "Both. But I doubt I'll take them to my bed again this week, though they both offered. I think Sofia needs fairly exclusive attention."

"You're probably right, but don't be anyone except who you are, Steve. I think I have a distinct advantage over everyone now that I've read your journals, and I'm starting to understand who you really are. We'll talk Sunday."

I kissed her, holding the door open as she got into her car and I watched her drive away. I walked back into the house, went straight to my study, and locked away all my journals. Just as I was about to leave my study, Anala called to say that both she and Prajesh would join us on Thursday for dinner. After I hung up, I went to find Sofia and our guests. I found only Wen.

"Sofia and her friends went Christmas shopping, and Jorge and George disappeared somewhere. Sofia said that they would be back around 4:30pm."

"They must have left as soon as Bethany and I went into my study," I said.

"I think so, but I'm not sure when Jorge and George left. Want to play some chess?"

"Yes," I said.

We spent the afternoon playing chess, talking, and drinking tea. The girls arrived back just before 5:00pm, carrying bags from several different stores in the Loop. Given all of them were heading home right after Christmas break started, they all needed to get their shopping done before finals. After they stashed their bags, Sofia helped me prepare dinner. I didn't know where Jorge and George were, and as they hadn't left a message, I assumed they would be having dinner. We cooked enough for them, and they turned up just before dinner was ready.

After dinner was eaten, Jorge and George volunteered to do the dishes. I chatted a bit with the girls and after the dishes were done, I went back into the kitchen and sat down with a notepad and planned out the Thanksgiving meal. I wanted to serve the meal at 4:00pm, so I worked backwards from there with my recipe cards and the directions on the frozen pies, and made a timeline. I allowed for a bit of a fudge factor in preparation and worked out when I'd have to start preparing each item to get it in the oven or on the stove at the correct time. It wasn't calculus, but I did double-check to make sure that I had the math right.

"Got it all figured out now?" Sofia asked, coming into the kitchen.

"I think so. I'm going to double-check that I have everything I need now that I have this list. I did that once, but you know me, I want to make sure!"

She laughed and then helped me by checking things off the list as I verified that I had each item. When we were done, I made some popcorn, and we grabbed two bottles of Dr Pepper and went to the great room to watch whatever movie was on HBO. Everyone was there, so I went back to the kitchen and made a second batch of popcorn before I went back to settle down on the couch next to Sofia.

The movie that was playing was The Right Stuff, which was about the Mercury astronauts. There was quite a bit of fiction, but the movie conveyed the gist of the story quite well. I'd always been a fan of the space program, and saw a few things that really bugged me, but kept quiet because everyone else was engrossed in the film. It was a long movie, so when it finished, Sofia and I went up to my room.

"Finally! I get you for five nights!" she declared happily.

Bethany clearly hadn't told her that she was coming back on Saturday, but it really wouldn't be right to kick Sofia out for Bethany. We could certainly find a spot for Bethany to sleep, so that wasn't a concern. I also figured that she'd understand. If the last 24 hours were any indication, she'd be far more interested in my journals than in sex.

"You do," I agreed. "Are you going to help me with the meal on Thursday?"

"You bet! It's my first Thanksgiving! What does turkey taste like, anyway?"

"Like turkey!" I chuckled. "It's similar to chicken, but with a slightly gamier taste. Less gamey than the Rock Cornish Game Hens I make on occasion."

"OK. Well, I guess I'll find out. I asked my friends and Wen, and they've never had turkey either."

"It's one of those American things. Speaking of those kinds of things, should we celebrate Lucia on the 13th?"

"That would be fun! Kara would be a perfect Lucia! She's tall and blonde, which is what you always see in traditional celebrations. Do you think she would do it?"

"All you can do is ask! But we might not want to do the lighted candles on her wreath! That would be a recipe for disaster!" I laughed. "Speaking of recipes, do you have a recipe for «pepparkakor» and «lussekattar»?"

"Of course. I AM Swedish, you know!"

"I haven't forgotten! We're speaking Swedish now, after all."

"Yes, and you're American, so that proves nothing."

"Are you happy so far?" I asked.

"Very! Coming here was exactly the right thing to do. I love Loyola and I love my new friends. I guess you do, too!" she giggled.

"It sounds like you're OK with my 'dalliances'," I said, using the English word. "I'm not sure what the Swedish word is."

"Either «flört» or «sölande». But I don't know that 'OK' is the right word. I'm curious, what do you feel for those girls now?"

"That's a difficult question to answer in one sense and easy in another. The easy one is that I have no future with either of them, in the sense of a relationship. Perhaps they'll be friends, perhaps they'll simply disappear from my life. Through the years, there have been quite a few girls, like Alejandra and Leila. Girls who I was with once, and might, if the circumstances were right, have again. The difficult part is trying to explain the difference between a girl like you, a girl like Melanie, and a girl like those two."

"You mean between one who has a possible future with you, one that you love dearly, and one that is or was a dalliance?"

"Yes. There's a few in that middle category and they get there not because they were dalliances, but because they belong with someone else — Katt, Melanie, Kathy, Pia, Anala, and now Jennifer, I suppose."

"Where does Penny fit?"

"I have no idea. That's the problem with Penny. I think she's someone I'll love dearly for a long time, if not my whole life, but she's sort of hovering in the possibility group."

"Like Karin?"

"I suppose. Or Elyse. The three of them are kind of in a special group, I think. As I said, it's hard to explain. Tatyana is another difficult one. You see my problem?"

"The only problem I see is that you aren't making love to me right now!" Sofia giggled.

That was a problem which was easily remedied. Afterwards, I thought Sofia might want to talk again, but she was content to just fall asleep in my arms.

On Wednesday, Leila made Turkish coffee for everyone after breakfast. I made a point of spending the rest of the morning with Sofia. She was working so hard to come to grips with what a relationship with me meant, and I wanted to support her. No matter what happened, I was sure that Sofia and I were going to be together for a long time, certainly as friends, probably as lovers, and possibly as a couple. The question I had to ask myself about the main girls who were left was whether they belonged with someone else. For a time, I had thought Bethany did, but now I wasn't so sure. Kara most definitely did not. With Sofia, I hadn't even thought about it until now.

Both Alejandra and Leila took opportunities to flirt a bit, but cool looks from Sofia caused them to quickly back off. It was clear that while Sofia had tolerated the dalliances, she wasn't about to let it become a regular thing. She was, quietly, and without words, explaining to me what the rules were, at least insofar as her friends were concerned. The two girls had been fun, but neither of them was worth damaging my relationship with Sofia.

After lunch, I walked into the great room and saw Jorge with a pad of paper and pencils sketching. I moved behind him to see a fantastic likeness of Alejandra, who was sitting across the room, but not looking at Jorge. I touched his shoulder and nodded my approval when he looked up. He quickly turned a page and showed me one he'd done of Kara and Sofia talking. I was impressed. He'd captured them relaxed and comfortable. I gave him a discreet thumbs up. He smiled and went back to his drawing.

The freezing rain had stopped, so Sofia and I took a walk around Hyde Park. We walked through Washington Park, around the University of Chicago campus, and past my old apartment. When we arrived home, we decided to use the sauna. We let everyone know the weekday rules were in force and then went to sit in the sauna and let the steam warm us from our long walk.

I was happy that nobody else chose to join us. I was sure that Wen would not, but I wasn't sure about Alejandra, Leila, and Jorge. It gave me a chance to completely relax in peace and quiet, with only the sound of hissing steam and our breathing providing any possible disturbance. About ten minutes after we sat down, Sofia slipped her hand into mine and I squeezed hers in response. We sat that way for another fifteen minutes, and then moved to the whirlpool, where she reclined against me in the warm, swirling water.

"You aren't upset that I discouraged Leila and Alejandra from flirting, are you?" Sofia asked in Swedish.

"No," I replied. "I've always done better when I've had someone more or less riding shotgun to keep me out of trouble. I'm not saying that your friends ARE trouble, but I have a history of, shall we say, indulging my lust."

"That's the first time I've ever heard you use that word. I didn't even know you knew that word in Swedish!"

"I am fluent, Sofia!" I chuckled. "I know LOTS of words. And it's accurate, I think."

"And you can't control it?"

"I can, to a point. That's why everyone is suggesting I try to find a balance. The question is where that balance is."

"If you can control it, then why don't you?" Sofia asked.

"As I said, only to a point. Part of it is that I simply don't agree with society about sex and love. I believe that it's possible to love more than one person and that there is nothing wrong with showing your love. But sex isn't only for love — it provides physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual fulfillment. I guess I haven't found one girl who provides all of those things in one package."

Sofia laughed, "You just told me how to win!"

"Oh?"

"Yes," she said. "Over the next six months, I'll figure out how to be best at each of those things. If I can do that, I can have exactly what I want!"

"And the situation with Elyse and Jennifer?" I asked.

"Do I have a choice?" she asked with a small laugh.

"We all have choices," I said. "It's a question of whether or not you can accept the results of a choice. And even not making a choice is choosing. That's something that Anala taught me."

"I suppose that's true. In any event, I have a path forward."

I slid my hands up to cup her small breasts and gave a gentle squeeze, and rubbed her nipples with my thumb.

"Now, about that physical fulfillment!" I smirked.

"I think I'm going to do some research!" she giggled.

"As a medical doctor, I think that research would be beneficial!"

"To you?" she laughed.

"Yes! And for your career!"

"You know, it's too bad the sauna door doesn't lock!" she giggled.

"Oh, who cares!" I said.

I helped Sofia turn around, then slid forward so that she could put her legs around me. I held her while she positioned my hard dick, and then slowly impaled herself on it. We kissed tenderly while Sofia ground against me and I wrapped my arms around and held her tight, crushing her breasts against my chest. I broke the kiss and nibbled on her neck and earlobes, and was rewarded when Sofia groaned and I felt her pussy tighten around my shaft.