Chapter 23: Building a Foundation

March, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

Monday flew by and I was back home before I knew it. I'd easily aced the quiz and turned in a couple of fairly major assignments. With less than six weeks left in the semester, I was still on track to making all A's. The feedback I'd had from Scott Bannerman indicated that I'd get an A for my independent study, and Dave had heard the same thing about his. If I could get through my Senior year the same way, I'd graduate summa cum laude and have a chance at being valedictorian. Given there would be several students with 4.0 averages, it would depend on Doctor Bauer's influence as head of the department for me to be selected by the deans.

The tickets for my trip to Sweden arrived in the mail and I made sure everything was in order. There was a note with the tickets that reminded me to check my passport and I realized that it had expired in February! I made a quick call to Dustin and asked if he could take and develop some photos for me. He asked me to come right over, so I did. Once the photos had been taken, he said I could pick them up on Wednesday.

When I arrived back home, I did my homework, made dinner, and after we ate, I went back to my study to work on my project for the database class. It was due in two weeks, and I'd received an A on each incremental improvement. Prime Information was an interesting language. It had all the features of a database, but also a full BASIC implementation. That was right up my alley, as I'd been programming in BASIC for about eight years. By 9:00pm I'd finished what I needed to get done, including documentation, and shut everything down. I went to find Jackie, who was sitting in the study room, reading.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yep," I replied. "Are you done?"

"I was reading ahead, so yes."

We went up to my room, took our clothes off, and got into bed.

"Talk first? Or sex first?" Jackie asked with a soft laugh.

I answered her by pulling her to me and kissing her. After a bit of rolling around and giggling, we coupled and made love fairly vigorously, before we each had a very pleasurable release.

"Can I have that again before we go to sleep?" she asked.

"If you wish!" I chuckled, using my arm to draw her to me to cuddle.

"So what's up?"

I explained everything that had transpired on Sunday, though I left discussing Penny until later. Jackie listened quietly and waited for me to finish.

"I'd say that Bethany probably has it right. I'm moving in with Jamie, so it doesn't really affect me."

"Does he know about us?" I asked.

"Not officially, but I think he suspects. He and I are not steady, and we STILL haven't been to bed together, so he's not going to say anything. But forget that. The thing with Jennifer is bugging you, isn't it?"

"I guess in my mind, she was the leading candidate for my wife. She seems to have taken herself off the table, and I'm not really happy about that. I thought we were working towards it."

"But it seems like she's been up front about it, at least since you guys started really working on things. You've known for a long time that she's a lesbian. Why do you expect anything different?"

"Because she's my Jen. And I'm her Steve."

"And you need a piece of paper from the government for that to be true in the future? Or a social construct you don't even believe is valid for you?"

I sighed, "The paper? No. The construct? I have no idea what I believe."

"You don't give a damn about social constructs or social norms," Jackie said firmly. "You do what you think is right, and you accept anyone else who lives their life similarly to the way you do, even if you don't agree with their life choices. You have serious problems with people who want to impose norms on everyone, and with those who look down on those who don't follow the norms. Jennifer is a perfect example."

"I know. But I guess I saw a real possibility of marrying her and living happily ever after."

"But would SHE be happy? Come on, Steve. She's had more lesbian relationships than straight ones. In fact, other than you, how many guys has she really dated?"

"One. And that was a disaster. It was before me."

"And your relationship with her was a disaster as well, at least until she sorted out her sexuality. Why do you think she'd suddenly become Suzie Homemaker and dote on a husband? Could you marry Dave or Kurt?"

"Hell no!" I chuckled.

"There you go. Those two are your closest male friends, with whom you've seriously bonded. They'll most likely be in your life forever, and you'll have as intimate a relationship as straight guys can. Your relationship with Jennifer has to be the same, though I suspect you'll have sex with her and not them."

"You can take that to the bank, Jackie! Though Dave IS kind of hunky!" I deadpanned.

"He is. But that doesn't mean you're going to have sex with him," she giggled. "Anyway, do you see my point?"

"I do," I sighed.

"What the hell? You have a hot, sexy, strawberry blonde girl who loves you to pieces and will fuck you silly with no commitment other than loving her, and you sigh? Jesus Steve. I should get out of bed and go back to my room right now."

"OK. OK. Point taken. So you agree with Bethany about Anala?"

"I do, although I'd have thought Elyse was a better candidate," Jackie said.

"Elyse wants a long-term relationship with me, on her terms; Anala and I can't really have one because of the religious issue."

"Ah, yeah. And Bethany thinks you should pick someone that you aren't going to be with long-term, because that won't create problems for any of the other girls."

"Well, it might for Karin or Sofia, but I have to sort that out this Summer. Sofia will probably be OK because she's taking a long-term view. Karin, on the other hand, well, that will probably be the last straw."

"That's been coming for a while," Jackie said. "You have two choices with her. Buy a ring and take it with you to Sweden this Summer, or end it. There isn't a middle ground."

"That's more or less what Bethany said, just not as succinctly."

"Because she doesn't want to tell you what to do. I, on the other hand, have no dog in this hunt. I'm free to speak my mind."

"And?" I asked.

"Have Anala move in with you," Jackie said. "Work on things with Bethany and Kara. One of those two is the answer. I'd include Tatyana, but you are the LAST person on the planet to become a communist. Ronald Reagan would become a communist before you did!"

"Kara? Really?" I asked.

"Didn't you tell me that she's accepted you for who you are?"

"Yes. Anala said the same thing. I think Sofia might have something to say about the matter."

"So include her, then. She'll be here this Summer. Jennifer will be here in a year, and Bethany two years after that. Work it out. Talk to all the girls. Heck, you might find more than one of them amenable to a group situation."

"Bethany is," I said. "We talked about it."

"Well, shit, then why are you worried? Jennifer and Bethany. If that's the WORST possible outcome, then you, Sir, are king of the world!"

"A valid point of view," I grinned, then seriously. "I want to talk about Penny."

"What about her? I thought you two were working towards a fantastic birthday."

"I don't know what Penny expects from me. I mean, besides sex."

"You dope! You didn't talk to her about this BEFORE you started making out with her? What did you say that your sister called you? A dumb boy? Jesus, Steve!"

Her using Penny's word for me was like a slap across the face. And using Stephanie's words was like a punch in the gut. The only thing missing was calling me a «Jävla idiot» which she couldn't do because she didn't know Swedish, though she could have used 'shithead' as Joyce often did.

"I know, I know," I sighed.

"So what has she said about relationships?" Jackie asked.

"Nothing, really. She asked me if I had a girlfriend last Summer — a couple of days before you came back to Chicago. I told her that I didn't. She said I should have one. When I told her that wasn't a priority, that I was dating, she asked if we could be friends."

"Hmm. She has a huge, huge crush on you. You're the cool college kid who treats her like an adult. But she might have other ideas, too. You know how crushes go."

"I assume that you've talked to Kathy about me enough to know about our mutual crushes."

"Yes, and you didn't act on them in time for it to turn into anything. You're going to have to talk to Penny."

"I know. But what do I say? Penny, I'll fuck you, but it can't mean anything other than just great sex?"

"God no, Steve! And you'd never say that because you don't believe it."

"But if I ask her what she's looking for, won't that make her think about a relationship? Even if she isn't?"

"Maybe, but she's probably already thinking in those terms. She's not even fifteen yet, so she has no experience with relationships. She may well see sex as a commitment. She's probably been taught that, even though her parents are liberals. It seems the 'free love' crowd doesn't agree with free love when it comes to their own kids!" she laughed.

"Except for Melanie's parents. Otherwise, I think you're right. I guess all I can do is talk to her."

"Before you talk to her, make sure you know what YOU want and what you can offer her. Remember, Anala told you to have a firm answer for her about sex? This is the same. But you should have done that first. I think Anala failed you by not telling you that."

"I think Anala assumed that I wasn't nearly as stupid as I appear to be!" I chuckled. "I should have thought of that one on my own. That's what caused my bad reaction to the Carla situation. I didn't talk about relationships in advance and it bit me in the butt."

"So learn your lesson. Now, have we talked enough? Can I get that tongue to do something other than form sounds to communicate?"

"Your wish is my command, M'lady!" I said.

I slid down and put my tongue to good use, and then Jackie and I made love, eventually falling asleep spooned together.

Tuesday work and Wednesday school flew by. When I arrived home on Wednesday, I was very concerned about my talk with Penny. I was preoccupied, and it was hard to concentrate on my homework, so I walked over to Dustin's to get my passport photos, then went to the Post Office to fill out the application. I turned it in, along with the photos and my old passport, and paid the fee. They'd send everything to me by mail within sixty days.

When I arrived home, I went to the kitchen to work on dinner. I managed to get my mind off of the upcoming conversation, at least for a time. We'd just finished dinner when Penny arrived. She breezed past me and up the stairs with a smile. She didn't even take her coat off in the foyer. I sighed and followed after her. When I got to my room, she was waiting at the door and closed and locked it behind me once I'd come into the room. She was quickly in my arms, kissing me. I broke the kiss.

"Penny, can we talk for a bit first?" I asked.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?" she asked nervously.

"Slow down! I just said I wanted to talk!"

"My friends say that when they want to break up with their boyfriends!" she said, almost in tears.

"Penny, take off your coat and shoes and sit down with me," I said gently.

She did what I'd asked and sat down, but her eyes were glassy and I could tell she was holding back her tears. This just proved the girls right. I'd made a huge mistake in not talking to Penny about things first.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked.

"Am I your boyfriend?" I asked.

"No; well, not yet," she said.

That was a major red flag. I had to tread very carefully at this point, lest I make things worse than they appeared to be. I wasn't sure how that could be possible, but with my track record, I was sure that it was.

"So you expect me to be your boyfriend after we make love?"

"Of course, silly! Isn't that what it means to have sex?"

Red flag number two. This was quickly sliding into a pit of mire.

"Penny, aren't I a bit old for you?" I asked. "And what would your parents say?"

"You're not too old; you're perfect! And there's no way I'm telling my parents! They'd never let me come over here again!"

A glimmer of hope. Maybe I didn't understand what she meant by 'boyfriend'.

"But if you were my girlfriend, wouldn't they know it? I mean, wouldn't we go on dates and stuff?"

"I'm not allowed to date until I'm sixteen. And they told me not to do anything at all with boys. And I'm not even supposed to be alone with you."

"I guess I'm confused now. What do you expect from me as your boyfriend?"

"To do the stuff we're doing! You know, like a boyfriend and girlfriend."

"And that's all? You don't think it means that we're together as a couple, permanent like?"

"No way! I'm too young to get married or anything! Ask me ten years from now and probably I'll say 'yes'. But not now. Eeeewww!"

I chuckled. "Eeeewww?"

"Yeah, like gross. I don't want to have babies or clean the house or do your laundry! Kissing and stuff are great. The rest of that stuff? Why would I want to do that for you when I hate doing it for me?"

I laughed hard, "You have an interesting view of marriage, Penny."

"That's what my dad's new wife does. She's like his slave or something!"

I recalled that her dad had married a girl my age, or perhaps a bit younger, and it appeared she was a homemaker. I could see how Penny would be completely uninterested in that kind of relationship. But I didn't see Alice having that kind of relationship with Bart.

"What about your mom and your stepdad?" I asked.

"Mom does all that stuff. It's stupid! Why would I want to get married and do that? Dumb! Boring! Gross!"

This conversation had gone in a completely unexpected direction. It seemed that Penny was a bit more levelheaded than the girls had thought she might be. That said, she had a very warped view of marriage, at least from my perspective. What she was talking about was a very traditional way of conducting a marriage. One that I had no interest in having.

"Well, my mom and dad are like that, too," I said. "But I don't think that's right. I cook, clean, and do my own laundry. I plan to keep doing that when I finally get married."

"Really?" She asked, surprised, then giggled, "Then OK. I'll marry you!"

Oops. That hadn't been the reaction I'd wanted.

"That wasn't me proposing, Penny."

"I know, silly. Boy, you take stuff too seriously sometimes. Did you think I wanted to get married?"

"No, but I was worried that you might be thinking differently about what we're doing from what I think, and that could be a problem."

"I like you a lot, Steve. You're totally cool. You treat me nice. You've taught me a lot about computers. I like hanging out with you."

"Are you in love with me?" I asked.

"What does that feel like?" Penny asked, sounding truly curious. "I don't know if I've ever been in love."

"That's a good question. I'm not sure I can explain it very well. When you're in love, I think you'll know."

"Oh. I love Pete. Is it like that?"

I chuckled, "No, he's a dog! You love your mom and dad, too. But it's not like that, either."

"Are we going to talk all night or can we kiss and stuff?"

"And stuff?" I said, arching my eyebrow.

"You promised to put your mouth on me. I've been tingling for a week waiting for that!" she said, blushing slightly.

"I'd love to!" I grinned.

"And my boobs? Will you kiss them, too?" she whispered.

"Yes!"

I stood up and took Penny's hand, and we slowly undressed each other. When we were naked, I pulled her close to me and we kissed softly. Penny squeezed her arms around me and crushed her breasts and my dick between us. She broke the kiss, gasping.