Chapter 15: Sorting Things Out

February, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

The drive back to Chicago was typical — light traffic, a stop for gas in West Lafayette, and a little over five hours of time to think. I'd made the drive many times and knew every mile of road. At times, it seemed as if I was on auto-pilot, giving my mind time to work through whatever issue it was that was foremost in my mind. This drive was no exception, and I was thinking mostly about Joyce and Kara, but also about the other girls, especially Karin, who would be arriving at the end of the week.

The situation with Joyce and Kara was complicated enough that part of me was glad that Connie and I had put a hold on our relationship. Frankly, it was a complication that I didn't need. In hindsight, getting involved with Connie had not been one of my wiser decisions. On the other hand, what wasn't hindsight was that I should have realized the potential fallout from having sex with two sisters who had a contentious relationship. If there was a mistake, that was what it was.

I didn't see any way of resolving the conflict between Joyce and Kara, nor would I try, or even suggest to the girls that they try. That was something that had to come from Kara, and Kara alone, and then only if and when she was ready. The fly in that ointment was that I'd promised Joyce that I'd help her have a baby if it turned out that she was going to have a hysterectomy. That might actually end even the friendship I was rebuilding with Kara, but I'd given Joyce my word and I was going to stick to it.

Looming larger, though, was Karin's imminent arrival. I still had no idea what I wanted long term, and that was the source of no end of grief for the Swedish girls — Karin, Sofia, and Tina. Of course, if I followed through on what any of them wanted, the other two would be left out in the cold, along with the American girls. All of that made figuring out how to have a conversation with Karin more difficult. If I didn't know what I wanted, what could I tell her? Anala would counsel telling the truth, and I would do that, but that didn't solve the problem.

There was an easy solution, but not one that I could consider lightly. I could tell Karin plainly that I didn't see a future for us. The problem was, I didn't necessarily believe that. I'd thought that on at least four or five occasions in the past, but each time, something happened, or something changed, and I had a new perspective. I wondered what the best thing for Karin would be? Again, that was something I didn't know. Would it be better to break things off now, cleanly? Or would it be better to keep them open? Tina and Sofia had at least dated; Karin had not. She was, I was certain, putting all her eggs in one basket — a basket with a weak bottom that threatened to break and destroy everything in it.

I was going around in circles and was going to tie myself in a knot. I couldn't tell Karin something I didn't know myself, and I couldn't make a promise that I couldn't be sure that I could keep. Fundamentally, if Karin couldn't accept what was, effectively, a waiting game, as we'd once discussed, then there wasn't much of a future. And that told me that she'd probably keep waiting, which took me right back to square one.

All of this was still floating around in my mind when I turned onto Woodlawn Avenue and pulled up in front of the house. I grabbed my overnight bag and walked up the steps and into the house. I heard voices, so I dropped my bag in the foyer and walked into the dining room where my housemates were just finishing dinner.

"Are you hungry, Steve?" Elyse asked.

"Yes," I sighed wearily, and sat down in my seat at the head of the table.

Elyse went to get a plate and flatware, and a glass of water for me. When she returned, I helped myself to ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, and buttered corn. Elyse and Jackie sat with me while I ate, as Julia, Katy, and Cindi cleaned up.

"Why did you run off to Ohio so quickly?" Jackie asked.

"A friend of mine had a crisis and needed me."

"That answer tells me that you can't give any details," Jackie said. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not at the moment, really. It's kind of out of my control, so all I can do is wait and see what happens," I said.

"You know we'll help any way we can," Elyse said.

Elyse knew what was going on, but wasn't going to reveal the confidence.

"I do. Anything exciting happen here while I was gone?"

"Not really," Jackie said. "Though Cindi said that Jorge went to a fraternity party last night."

I chuckled, "So, he's leaving the nest?"

"More like the teacher encouraging her protégé to spread his wings!" Elyse smirked. "SHE probably needed the rest!"

I finished eating and told the girls that I needed to do some homework. I went to my study and saw the light on the answering machine flashing and pressed the button to play the messages.

A beep.

Another beep.

I heard Karin's voice say, and then she gave the details.

Multiple beeps signaled that had been the last message. I'd need to figure out a time to call Karin. Given the time difference, it would need to be after 8:30am, and before 3:00pm. That meant after class on Monday was the best option, otherwise I'd have to miss class. I replayed the last message to verify that I had the correct flight information, then hit the button to erase all the messages. I dialed Stephie's number in Georgia.

"Hey, Yankee!" she said happily after I said hello.

"How are things going, Stephie?"

"Pretty durn good. I miss all y'all something fierce, but I really do belong down here."

"I know," I said. "How's school? And Red?"

"Red's good. School don't start again until next month for me. There's way more people at Georgia Tech than at IIT, and of course, there's more girls there, though we's still a big minority. How are things with you?"

"Pretty good, personally. I just came back from Ohio. Joyce had something of a crisis and I went to see her. I stopped in to see Kara as well. Both of them are doing OK."

We talked for about five minutes to catch up, then said our goodbyes and hung up. I dialed Carla's number. She asked if I'd like to come to dinner on Saturday, but I told her that I was busy, so we agreed on the following Saturday. I figured I could head straight to her apartment from the airport if need be. I didn't mention Karin to Carla because I didn't think it was important for her to know.

I turned on the Apple IIe so that I could work on a paper for my history class. I spent three hours working on it before I was happy with the results. I saved my work and shut everything down and went to the basement to sit in the sauna so I could relax. Nobody joined me and I used the quiet time to relax and clear my mind. When I finished, I went up to my room, showered, got ready for bed and climbed in. I was quickly fast asleep.

On Monday afternoon, I called Karin. I apologized for missing our call the previous day and let her know that I'd been in Milford helping a friend. I confirmed that I'd see her at the airport on Saturday morning. She was fairly upbeat at the end of the call and said she was looking forward to seeing me.

The rest of the week followed the pattern for this sixth semester of school, with two exceptions. On Wednesday night, when, during my short make-out session with Penny, I cupped her small breast for the first time. It was through her sweater, but running my thumb over her nipple caused it to quickly harden and caused Penny to moan into my mouth as we French kissed.

"Whoa!" she gasped when we broke the kiss.

"If you like that," I teased, "just wait until my tongue is there!"

"You're mean!" Penny giggled, clearly not meaning it.

"We're taking our time, Penny."

"But I feel like I'm going to explode when we kiss! And it just got worse when you touched me like that!"

"Just be patient, Penny. I promise it will get even better. Did you go to the clinic?"

"Yes! I take my pill every morning. There is no way I'm going to risk getting pregnant. Mom would kill me!"

"And me, if she knew!"

"I'm not going to tell her!" Penny giggled. "But I have to find a way to come over on Sunday morning on our birthday."

"We'll work it out," I said.

"And if it's anywhere as good as my friend Sally says it is, I'm going to want to do it a LOT!" she smirked.

"One step at a time, Penny. See you Saturday. But Wednesday of next week and the following Saturday I'm busy."

"No fair!" she groused.

"I do have other things to do!" I declared. "Now, let me walk you out."

Penny was clearly unhappy, but I needed to devote all of my time to Karin when she was in Chicago. It was going to be bad enough with having to go to class, though I did have the days off work. I walked Penny to the door and watched as she walked home. When she got to her door, she blew me a kiss, which told me she wasn't too upset. I went back inside and did homework until bedtime.

The second exception was a repeat of an event that had occurred just over a year before. On Thursday night, Tatyana called to ask if I'd heard the news that Chairman Andropov had died. She didn't know for sure who would replace him, but her father speculated that Konstantin Chernenko would be elected, even though rumors were that Andropov had wanted a younger man, Mikael Gorbachev, to succeed him.

"Gorbachev would not be good for my father," Tatyana said. "He's from a younger group of men who do not respect the Party elders."

"How are things going otherwise?"

"Good! School has been fine, of course. Father would like you to come to Washington this Summer. Are you able to do that?"

"I should think so," I said. "Sometime in July would work. I'm back in Chicago from Sweden on July 9th, and I have to leave to go to Georgia for the NASCAR race around the 26th. Otherwise, August, between the 6th and the 20th."

"I will speak to Father. Also, he thinks he will be in Milwaukee in April. I will let you know, because he would like to come to Chicago and see you, if possible."

"Great! I always enjoy your father's company."

"And he enjoys yours, Stepa! As do I!"

"And I yours!" I agreed.

We talked for a few more minutes and then said our goodbyes. I wondered how the rapid-fire changes in leadership in the Soviet Union might affect Tatyana's long-term plans. If things went against her father's faction, that could completely upend her plans and might make for a very different future. Once more, it seemed, events were conspiring to make my life complicated.

On Friday, I spent time with Anala as usual and talked to her about my reconciliation with Joyce. We were lying in bed after making love.

"Well, that was very mature and wise. But it shouldn't have taken something like that for you two to resolve your differences."

"Are you ever going to cut me any slack?" I sighed.

"Never!" she said with a smile. "Somebody has to hold your feet to the fire!"

"And you do quite a good job of doing that. I want to ask a question I might regret, but what's in this for you?"

"An intelligent, interesting man who is easily my equal. There aren't many of those around."

"How are things at home?" I asked.

Anala sighed, "Not good. I've been 'instructed'" — she made air quotes — "to stop seeing you."

"And you refused? Or are you here to tell me that it's over?"

"I refused, of course! I'm so tempted to stoop to my sister's level and let my parents know exactly how she's been behaving, but I can't do it."

"Then I'll do it!" I said firmly. "She can't be allowed to get away with this!"

"No, Steve," Anala said firmly. "I didn't tell you so that you could do the dirty work. I'm fine. I'm interviewing for jobs already. The place I work one day a week as an intern will certainly hire me. My tuition is paid and so is my rent. If they disown me, that is their problem, not mine."

"I can't argue too much with you, given the situation with my mom. You're sure that you're OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine. It's already mid-February. School ends in three months. I do not want to stop seeing you. I need you just as much as you need me. It's a good situation for both of us — personal growth, intellectual stimulation, and the other kind, as well!"

I chuckled, "True! Is there anything I can do for you?"

"You're doing it," she sighed.

I pulled her to me and we made love again, then showered and went to make dinner. After dinner, we used the sauna and then spent some time talking and drinking tea before going to bed. In the morning, after breakfast, I walked her to the El and then went back home to work with Penny on the computer. We worked on the Apple IIe in my study, just Penny and me, as I didn't feel the need to have Jackie sit with us under the current circumstances.

"Why can't I come over on Wednesday and Saturday?" she asked.

"I have a friend coming to visit from Sweden. I'm spending time with her. She's only going to be here a week."

"Oh. You've obviously been to Sweden, right?"

"Yes, in High School. I thought I told you I spent a year there as an exchange student."

"That's right, you did."

"I knew this girl's sister when I lived in Ohio. Her sister was an exchange student. That's what got me interested in being an exchange student."

"Oh, OK. I thought maybe you were upset with me or something."

"I told you I had something to do," I said.

"I just thought maybe you didn't like how I kissed, or my boobs were too small, or something," she said shyly.

"Penny, you kiss just fine," I said.

I slipped my hand through the neck of her sweater and squeezed her breast through her bra.

"And your breasts are perfect," I said.

I leaned down and kissed her neck several times. She sighed deeply and let her hands fall from the keyboard. I pulled my hand up a bit, then slipped it inside her bra and lightly cupped her firm breast. I gently tweaked her nipple between my thumb and forefinger and kissed her neck softly.

"Ohh!" she moaned, "I want to do it, Steve! Please!"

I removed my hand from her breast and stepped back. I totally understood her desire, because it was burning in me as well.

"Not yet, Penny. I promise we'll get there! Let's finish your lesson. I need to leave for the airport at 9:30am."

"That sucks!" she hissed.

Penny put her hands back on the keyboard and started working on the game that she was coding. At 9:30am, she saved her work, and I walked her to the door. She stopped me before I opened the door and gave me a quick kiss. I opened the door and watched her walk next door, then put on my coat and walked out to my car to head to O'Hare. The temperature was in the mid-forties, which felt like a heat wave after the extremely cold January that we'd suffered.

Traffic was light, and I made good time to the airport despite the mist, and parked in the short-term lot as I usually did. I walked into the international terminal and checked the arrival board. Karin's flight was showing as on-time, so I found a spot just outside of customs and immigration to sit and wait for her to come out. I'd finished The Brothers Karamazov, and had decided I wanted some light reading, so I bought a copy of Berke Breathed's Loose Tales, a collection of Bloom County comics. I really enjoyed the comic strip, especially given one of the main characters, Opus, was a penguin.

About twenty-five minutes after I sat down, a steady stream of blondes began flowing from the customs and immigration doors. I closed my book and stood up, waiting just outside the ropes. A moment later, a stunning blonde, now nearly eighteen, walked towards me with a big smile on her face. We hugged and exchanged a brief kiss, then I grabbed her suitcase and we walked out to my car.