Chapter 14: Curveballs

February, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

Joyce's words rang in my ears, and I felt dizzy and nauseated. 'I had a Pap smear that came back abnormal. I think I might have cancer.' I was glad I was sitting down because my knees were weak. My hands were shaking as well.

"Joyce, I apologize for everything. I mean that. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was going to, and then I found out about you and Connie and I just got so angry I couldn't think straight."

"You said 'might'. What does that mean?" I asked.

"They detected some abnormal cells. I have extremely mild cervical dysplasia. Basically, some cells that aren't right. It's not cancer, yet."

"Yet? So it can be cured?"

"Well, there are treatments, but right now they said it's wait-and-see. A lot of times, this kind of thing just goes away. Supposedly, some recent research says it's a kind of virus, but my doctor isn't sure. All they will do right now is watch. If it gets worse, there are simple treatments that can eliminate it. If that doesn't work, then it's a hysterectomy."

"A what?" I asked. "I don't remember that from health class."

"Removal of the uterus. I wouldn't be able to have kids!" she sobbed.

"I'm driving down to see you. Right now," I said.

"Don't do that! There isn't anything you can do."

"Sure there is," I countered. "I can hug you. I'll see you in a little over six hours."

"Don't! It's not necessary!" she said, stifling her sobs.

"You're wrong. It is necessary. I'm going to hang up, pack a bag, and be on my way. I'll call Trudy and let her know I'm coming."

"Nothing I can say will stop you, will it?"

"No, it won't," I said resolutely.

We said 'goodbye' and I hung up. I went to find Elyse and asked Eduardo if I could borrow her for a few minutes, which led to several smirks from our friends. I smiled back and had Elyse follow me upstairs.

"I'm going to Ohio right now. I'll be back late tomorrow night."

"Why? What happened?"

"Joyce needs me. I just found out she had an abnormal Pap smear."

"Oh, no!" she gasped. "How bad?"

"Supposedly they're mildly abnormal cells that don't need immediate treatment, just watching. But needless to say, she's a basket case. And now I know why she's been acting so strangely for the past two months!"

"Wow. OK. You drive safely. Call me when you get there and call me when you leave to come home."

"Will do. Don't share the reason with anyone. I told you because I needed to let somebody know what was going on. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Thanks for confiding in me, Steve. I'll just tell them one of your friends had a minor crisis, and you did what you usually do."

"Thanks," I said.

"Oh, what about homework?"

"I'm pretty much caught up. I have some reading to do, but there are no tests this week, so I'll be fine."

"Good."

I quickly packed my overnight bag, and then went down to my study and called Trudy Spencer. I didn't tell her why I was coming, just that I'd be there for the night. She said I was welcome, as always, and asked if I'd need dinner. I told her no, and that I probably wouldn't arrive there much before 11:00pm because I was going straight to a friend's house. She said she'd wait up for me and I thanked her. I left the study, grabbed my coat, gloves and hat and went out to my car.

February, 1984, Loveland and Milford, Ohio

Despite the light snow that turned to a drizzle, I made decent time on my drive to Ohio, arriving at Joyce's house just before 8:00pm. I had eaten a burger and fries in the car as I drove, not wanting to waste any time. I silently gave thanks for my radar detector, which let me push the speed limits more than I could have otherwise. I parked the car and hopped out, then walked quickly to the front door. Joyce opened it before I could knock or ring the bell.

Without a word, I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly. She started sobbing into my shoulder, and we stood there for several minutes before we went inside. I took off my coat and hung it on a peg next to the door, and slipped off my shoes, then followed Joyce to the kitchen, where she served me a cup of hot cocoa. I asked to use the phone and made a quick call to Elyse to let her know that I'd arrived, then sat down at the table with Joyce.

"Thanks for coming," she said quietly.

"You're welcome. Why didn't you tell me back in early December when you found out?"

"I was waiting to tell you face-to-face. And then I heard from my mom about Connie going to Chicago again and I put two and two together. I was already upset, and that made me so angry I couldn't see straight. I lashed out at you when you visited, and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"Forget it. It's water under the bridge. Everything is forgiven and forgotten. We need to focus on you and the future, not on anything that happened in the past."

Joyce shook her head slowly, "I really don't believe how easily you do that."

"Kara's alive and getting better. We both made plenty of mistakes there. We won't make them again. The fight over Connie was silly, and caused by something beyond either of our control. So, forget all of that and tell me more about your health."

"There isn't much more to tell. I told you what my gynecologist said."

"And you know what? That's not good enough. We need to find someone who actually knows. If this is recent, then you need to get a second opinion from someone who's up-to-speed on the latest research. Call your aunt and find out whom to go see. And tell your grandfather. He'll make sure it happens, you know that! The University of Cincinnati has a medical school, so I am sure someone there has more information and expertise."

"I guess that makes sense," she sighed.

"You guess? Come on, Joyce! Where's that strong person I've known for years? Pick up the phone and call Larry's mom right now. I'm not taking 'no' for an answer."

She nodded and went to the phone on the wall and dialed Larry's number. I listened to the conversation as Joyce explained what had happened. Mrs. Higgins asked a few questions and Joyce answered, and after a couple of minutes, they hung up.

"She's going to talk to the doctor who teaches gynecology and obstetrics classes at the University. She's sure that he'll see me."

"There you go! Now that wasn't hard, was it? Tomorrow, we'll go to your grandfather's and you'll tell him. You know he'll move heaven and earth to make sure you get the best possible care."

"I don't think I need to tell him now," she said.

"Sure you do. I'll be there with you if you want. Asking him for help is the most important thing you can do right now."

"Why?"

"Now I'm the calculating and plotting one in this relationship?" I asked with a grin. "Going to him for help is exactly what you need to do if you want to ensure that you get what you want in the end. Think it through."

Joyce smiled, "Of course! I was thinking sympathy, but you're thinking trust. I was seeing Grandfather and you're seeing Don Joseph."

"Exactly. I assume your mom knows. But I bet you didn't tell your little sister."

"I didn't."

"That's your next call. I talked to her right before I talked to you. Start dialing. If I've learned anything at all from Anala, it's that you have to directly address these things, and not put it off."

"Fine," she sighed.

Joyce picked up the phone and called Connie's dorm and got her to the phone. They spent ten minutes talking, most of which involved Joyce crying and apologizing to Connie, and I suspected Connie was doing exactly the same. At the end of the call, she handed me the phone.

"Hi," I said.

"You did exactly the right thing," Connie said. "I can't think of a better man than you. Thanks for caring so much about my sister."

"You're welcome. And I'm glad I could help."

"You did," Connie replied. "Do you think maybe we should stop seeing each other, at least for a while?"

"That's probably best. I'm sorry if I caused you any grief."

"Not at all. I can't think of a better guy to have had my first time with. And we didn't say never again, just not now."

"True," I confirmed. "Keep in touch."

"I will," she said brightly.

We said our goodbyes and hung up.

"You agreed to stop seeing each other, didn't you?" Joyce asked. "You didn't have to do that on my account."

"On the contrary, yes, actually I did. And she had to stop seeing me for the same reason. For now, for sure. Maybe forever. Right now, you need both of us, and neither of us wants there to be any problems. What do you want to do tonight? I'm at your disposal."

"Anything?" she asked, smirking.

"I know you well enough to answer that in a positive way, so, yes."

"You do," she sighed. "Let's go to the Spencers' and sit in the sauna. You can bring me home after that. And tomorrow, go have breakfast with your little sister, and then come get me to go to Grandfather's house."

"Perfect. Do you mind if I stop and see Kara on my way here tomorrow?"

"No. Not at all," she said. "I'd tell you to say 'hello', but I don't think that's wise."

"Probably not. Can I tell her what's going on?"

Joyce sighed, "I suppose, if you think it's a good idea."

"Will you allow me to tell Anala?"

"Yes. She's the one who kept pushing you to fix things with me, even when I was acting like a bitch."

"Yes, you did," I replied, "but you had a damned good reason."

We headed to the Spencers' and Trudy was a bit surprised to see me with Joyce, but Joyce quickly explained that she'd had a crisis and needed my help. We went upstairs, and I turned on the sauna, then used Melanie's phone to call my sister and let her know that I'd stop by. She was excited and curious, but I didn't tell her why I was in town. When I hung up with Stephanie, I called Kara to let her know I wanted to stop by.

"Why are you in Milford?" she asked, sounding a bit worried. "Is everything OK?"

"I'm fine, Kara. I just needed to help a friend. I want to stop by around 9:00am tomorrow. You won't be in church, will you?"

"No. I'm not going at all right now. Mom won't be here, though. Is that OK?"

"Yes, of course it is."

We said 'goodbye', I hung up, and then I went to join Joyce in the sauna. I poured copious amounts of water onto the rocks and built the steam to the level I preferred, then sat close to Joyce and put my arm around her. She sighed deeply and put her head on my shoulder. We sat quietly for about ten minutes before I spoke.

"What can I tell my sister?" I asked.

"Everything. It's OK. Did you tell anyone in Chicago?"

"Just Elyse, and she'll keep it to herself. I had to let someone know that I was coming and why. That's why I called her when I got to your house."

"How are things going for you without Stephie?"

"I'm doing OK. Karin's visiting starting on Saturday, and it's going to be an interesting week. I think, finally, after all these years, I've managed to separate Birgit and Karin in my mind, and come to real terms with my feelings for Birgit and what they meant."

"You keep going back and forth with her. It's like watching a tennis match."

"I know," I sighed. "It's a total mess, and it's one that we made together. Kind of like the situations with Jennifer and Becky. I had my part in making both of those disasters. And with Kara, too. It's all about picking up the pieces and finding what's possible. That's where you and I are now. All we can do is pick up the pieces of a broken relationship and see if anything can be made from them."

"Are you saying that we could have a relationship like that in the future?"

"All I'm saying right now is that we need to fix our friendship. Anything else is so far down the road that we can't contemplate it. We have to fix what's broken before we can build or improve on it. Honestly, we may never, ever, get there. But I don't want to lose you as a friend."

Joyce was quiet for a bit, then sat up and took my hands, and looked me in the eye.

"Can I ask you something very serious?"

"Of course," I said. "Always."

"If things don't improve like my doctor said, would you have a baby with me? I mean, before I can't have one."

If her admission of cancer had been a curveball, this request was out of left field. I'm sure my stunned silence contributed to the tears streaming down Joyce's face.

"Uh," I stammered, "that's a pretty big request. Wouldn't it be risky? I mean, to postpone treatment so you could have a baby?"

"I don't know," she said, sniffing. "I'd have to ask the doctor, I guess. I just don't want to lose my chance to be a mom, and I really don't have anyone else I trust enough. I'd clear it with Grandfather, so you won't have any trouble with him."

I chuckled, "No, but you sure might. And won't that cause you other issues?"

"Maybe, but I want a baby, Steve. Being a mom is super important to me. And you know that I'd have the resources to take care of a baby. You wouldn't have to be involved at all."

"Are you kidding? Do you really think I'd want that? If so, then you don't know me very well."

Joyce smiled, "No, you wouldn't want that; you would want to be very involved."

"Let's wait to see what the doctor says and take it from there. It's something I'd have to really think through. And I'd have to tell Jennifer, Bethany, my dad, my sister, and others. It could really, really complicate things. I promise if it comes to that, I'll seriously consider it. But that's in the future. I promise you a definitive answer if it comes to that."

Joyce leaned against me again and I wrapped my arm around her and held her until it was time to get out of the sauna. We rinsed off in the shower, dried ourselves, and then dressed and went downstairs. Trudy had a pot of tea made and offered us some. She sat with us at the kitchen table and Joyce told her what was going on.

"Oh my! No wonder Steve drove down to Milford! I'll pray for you and light a candle at church, Joyce."

"Thanks, Mrs. Spencer," Joyce said.

I suppressed a sigh. Prayers and candles were no substitute for the best doctors in the country. But I supposed that made Trudy feel like she was doing something, and from that perspective, it was probably a good thing. It certainly wouldn't hurt, so long as we weren't relying on it as a solution. Even when I had been a practicing Catholic, I'd never understood how people thought prayer could move God to act. It just never made any sense to me.