Chapter 10: Conversations and Dates

January, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

On Monday, after my first class, I invited Andrei to the Super Bowl Party, and then I walked over to the computer science building to see Doctor Bauer. I knew he didn't have a class at this time and hoped to catch him in his office. I did find him in, though I had to wait ten minutes while he finished a phone call. I asked him about remote access and he said that he'd authorize it that morning.

"Do you have a modem?" he asked.

"No. I'll get one," I said.

"We can lend you one. We received a number of Hayes 1200 Smartmodems for testing purposes and you are certainly a good person to test them. Which system do you need remote access to?"

"The Prime, for Prime Information," I said.

"OK. See Al Watson downstairs. Tell him to call my secretary to confirm. He'll give you a modem and a diskette with Kermit on it — that's the program you'll use to access the system. We have it for the IBM PC, TRS-80, and Apple II. I believe you have one of each, so just tell Al to give you disks for each of your systems. You'll need a serial port, so your IBM is probably easiest."

"I actually have a serial card for my Apple II, so that'll work just fine, as will the IBM."

"OK. Go see Al. I'll let my secretary know right now."

I thanked Doctor Bauer and shook his hand, then headed down to the operations office in the basement. I went to Al's office and knocked on the door. He called out for me to come in. He was hunched over his DEC terminal, typing furiously. I waited until he stopped and looked up.

"Doctor Bauer said to see you about a Hayes modem and copies of Kermit for the Apple IIe and IBM PC. He said to check with his secretary if you need to."

Al laughed, "You're Doctor Bauer's pet student. Even if he hadn't approved it, he would after the fact. Grab a box off the shelf to your left, a cable from the box on the floor, and get the floppies from the case on the shelf above them."

"Thanks," I said, smiling.

I picked the items as he'd directed, thanked him again, then carried everything to my car. Once I'd put it all in the trunk, I headed to my history class. I had lunch at the diner in Bridgeport and flirted with Candy while I ate. I had no intention of going out with her again, but she seemed to enjoy flirting as much as I did. After lunch, I headed back to campus for my ethics class and then headed home.

At home I set up the modem and connected it to the Apple IIe. I disconnected the phone cord from the phone, plugged it into the modem, and then used the cord that came in the modem box to connect the phone to the modem. I checked to make sure that I still had dial tone and once I did, I put the diskette into the drive and started up the Kermit program. I checked the instruction card that was in the sleeve with the floppy and entered the commands to dial the Prime.

Strange sounds came from the modem and then I saw the login prompt from the Prime. I entered the login command and then my userid and password. I verified that I could get into Prime Information, then disconnected. I could now work on my assignments for my database class from home.

I noticed that the light on my answering machine flashing, so I listened to the message. It was from the union electrician I worked with. I called him back, and we discussed a problem with the union software that I needed to address. I made some notes and then turned on the IBM PC and reviewed the code. I saw the problem almost immediately, fixed it, and then, following the advice Scott had given me, I ran through a bunch of tests. When I was satisfied that the change worked, I made four copies on floppy disk and drove over to the union hall to drop them off. When I arrived back home, I pulled out my books to study.

On Tuesday at Nuvatec, Scott told me that everything had checked out with the code for the alarm clock and that one of the marketing team was going to take the prototype to Mississippi to demo it for Spartus. My next task was to work on some graphics subroutines for some of the ColecoVision games. Scott gave me the basic specifications for the airplanes for The Dam Busters and asked me to write some Z80 routines that would display a plane in any orientation. Once I finished that, he had a list of other subroutines that I would need to develop.

That evening, I ate at the Sig Ep house with Dave, and then we went to our database class. We received our first assignment, which was a simple program to create a catalog of records and cassettes. This code would be the basis for the next several assignments, which would expand to include song information, artist information, and other details that would teach us how to handle relational databases.

Wednesday was a normal day at school. That evening, Penny and I concluded her computer lesson with a kiss, though once again it was just a simple kiss on the lips. She had a huge smile on her face when she walked home in the frigid -5°F air. Jackie, who'd been sitting in the room with us, as usual, smirked at the kiss. I was glad that nobody else happened to be in the study room at the time, given I didn't want to broadcast what was going on.

Thursday was spent like Tuesday — my head down and my fingers flying across the keyboard, writing and documenting code for video games. I was thrilled when my first subroutine was included in a test build and it worked as I'd intended. With each subroutine I completed, I was being given more difficult work to do, and Scott said that within a couple of weeks they'd feel comfortable assigning entire modules to me to work on. The best part of that was that I'd be playing the actual arcade versions of the games so that I'd know how things should work.

On Friday, classes went as usual, and I picked up Anala on the way home. It was a hell of a cold day, with the temperature at -5°F at 3:00pm! Anala bundled up and raced for the car to limit her exposure to the frigid temperatures. Consistent with our new pattern, we went to my room to talk. We changed into our comfortable Indian clothes and sat close together on the loveseat.

"Have you spoken to Joyce or Becky this week?" Anala asked.

"No," I sighed. "I didn't call either of them. With Joyce, I still think it's best to do what I said to her and wait for her to call me."

"And Becky?" she asked.

"That's a whole different kettle of fish. I have no idea how I feel about that, other than to know that it could create a serious mess with my other relationships."

"What about Kara?"

"There's not much to say there, really. I'm going to be her friend. Beyond that, it's just as I told you. I'm sure I'll talk to her again in the next couple of weeks."

"Would you consider calling Joyce?"

"I will consider just about anything. Deciding to do it is a very different proposition. I don't see what good could come from a call."

"Making the effort shows that you are the mature, reasonable one. If she continues to reject friendly overtures, then she has only herself to blame."

"Are you saying that I should do this to relieve my guilt? I don't feel guilty about anything."

"No, you misunderstand me. It's not about guilt, it's about karma. Guilt is always a black and white notion. It's something that the Catholic Church emphasizes as part of atonement theology. But life is far more nuanced than that. You yourself have said that you have as much, if not more, responsibility for what happened with Jennifer. But are you really guilty of anything?

"Some Catholics would have you believe that a single act, no matter what the motivation, is sufficient to condemn you for eternity, with no hope of redemption. I don't believe that, and you certainly don't live your life as if you believe it. Fundamentally, if you make an honest effort to overcome the negative effects of your actions, then it limits the negative karma that might come from those actions. Granted, if you were to commit murder, it's unlikely you could erase that negative karma in a single lifetime, but you would not be condemned to hell for eternity. That kind of punishment seems extreme."

"Perhaps, but there are some extreme cases. I don't want to get into that debate now, but I see your point. How far do I have to go?" I asked.

"As far as it takes. Until you are satisfied that you've truly expended all possible effort to fix the problem."

"Don't you mean until YOU'RE satisfied?" I asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Because you value my input and my opinions, that is one way for you to judge if you are satisfied. Treat it like you do sexual intimacy — you aren't satisfied until I am!"

I chuckled, "Cute. But I see your point. I just don't see the value of arguing with Joyce. It's pointless."

"Yes, it is. And learn that lesson, Steve. Arguing is often pointless. The solution is not to argue. In fact, you'll find that it's impossible for there to be a one-sided argument! Try it with Joyce."

"Now? Or would you rather make love?" I asked.

"What a silly question!" she giggled.

We carefully undressed each other and got into bed. Two hours later, with our bodies sweaty and sated, we showered and went to the kitchen to work on dinner. After dinner, as we had the previous week, those of us who were home decided to use the sauna. Dave and Julia were out, as they had been the previous week, but this week Eduardo and Elyse were out as well. That left just Jackie, Cindi, Katy, Anala and me.

"Weekend or weeknight rules?" Jackie asked.

"That's Katy's call," I said. "She's the only one here who would object."

"There are no other guys here," Jackie said. "What do you say, Katy?"

Cindi was about to say something, but I stared her down. She gave an almost imperceptible nod and kept quiet.

"It's just us, so I suppose weeknight rules," Katy said carefully. "There's a first time for everything."

"Only if you're sure," I cautioned.

"I'm not, but I'm going to do it, anyway. Sometimes you just have to do what you want, even when you aren't sure."

And THAT explained exactly why she'd finally decided to have sex with me. She'd been seriously conflicted and not known what to do, and had finally decided just to go for it.

We went to the basement and everyone undressed and went into the sauna. I made a point of not staring at Katy, which drew Cindi's attention. And of course, a comment.

"What?" Cindi asked. "You aren't going to say anything? You're going to play it totally cool and nonchalant?"

"Cindi, dial it back," I warned. "I'm being polite. What did you want me to do? Drool? Say how hot she is? If I did THAT, you'd be offended because you think you have a much better body."

"I do!" she exclaimed.

"So you say. But my taste runs towards the other girls here — Anala, Jackie, and Katy. She's damned hot and she has cute freckles on her chest. Sorry Cindi, but in my personal opinion, she wins hands-down over you."

Cindi gave me a hard stare, but then her face softened.

"I know who'd win Jorge's vote!" she declared.

I chuckled. I was sure that Jorge would take anything that was offered, especially in light of how she had apparently left him the previous Saturday. But that gave me an opening.

"Jackie," I smirked, "why don't you spend the night with me tomorrow night. I believe your roomie is planning to have some company!"

Jackie laughed, "An offer I would never refuse. It's a good thing you decided to end things with Charlie!"

"Thanks," Cindi said softly, giving us both a big smile.

"Just take it easy on him, Cindi," Katy said. "He's a babe in the woods."

"More like in the bush. And his wood!" Jackie said to uproarious laughter, including from Anala.

"You are all amazingly free about sex compared to most Americans," Anala said. "I know I've mentioned this before, but it's very different being around you all than the usual people I'm with."

"As Elyse has said, you can thank Steve for that," Jackie replied. "He's made it clear that everyone can express their sexuality as they see fit, though we do have to rein in Cindi from time to time. And our friend Kathy does have to draw some lines when it gets out of control around people who aren't part of the core group, like our friend Jeremiah."

"Speaking of conservative friends, do any of you know what happened to Stephie's friend, Jamal?" I asked.

They all shook their heads.

"Well," I continued, "keep your eyes open for him on campus. He might think he's not welcome because Stephie isn't here."

"How's she doing?" Katy asked.

"I spoke with her before school started and things were going OK. She and Red are doing well and she's found a karate dojo where she can train. I'd say being back in the South is good for her. I'll see her at the end of July for the NASCAR race in Talladega."

"What about Michigan?" Jackie asked.

"I'll have an extra ticket, because I don't think Stephie could come to that race, given that school starts the next day for both of us. Interested?"

"Go fast. Turn left? No thanks!" she said, shaking her head. "I never got into car racing. Why not ask Sofia? She's going to be here, right?"

"I don't think there's much NASCAR in Sweden," I chuckled.

"No, but it would be a nice gesture, even if she doesn't want to go again. I've been to a couple of races and didn't like it, but I was glad I went to see what it was like."

"That sounds like a reasonable plan, actually," I said. "Though I'll give Cindi and Katy first shot if either of them is interested."

"Nope," Katy said.

"Nah," Cindi said. "What about Anala?"

"Formula One is real racing!" Anala said brightly.

I sighed, "You and Eduardo should get together on that one. I prefer NASCAR. It's sort of like American football compared to European football."

"True," Anala said. "If Formula One cars hit each other the way they do in NASCAR, the cars would be in pieces and nobody would ever finish!"

"Cindi, you never did fill me in on your plans for Super Bowl Sunday," I said.

"I'm going shopping tomorrow morning with Elyse and Julia. Burgers, brats, chips, beer, nachos, that kind of thing. I invited our usual gang, and I also told everyone they could bring a friend if they wanted. I wish we could use the grill, but the forecast for Sunday is for a high in the 20s. Tomorrow, on the other hand, the high is supposed to be -15°F!"

"Damn!" I said.

"There's a wind chill advisory for the morning," Katy said. "They're talking -40°F!"

"Maybe we'll wait until the afternoon to shop!" Cindi said. "In any event, I tracked down your ROTC and Theta Xi friends at school, Steve, and they'll be here."