Chapter 21

Angela arrived at the ward with a bag of apples from the store, and a bunch of grapes and bananas she'd bought on the way. She saw him sitting up in bed, a bandage round his head. He smiled and her heart jumped. She kissed him long and softly.

"I brought some fruit," she said. "For some reason hospitals seem a bit short on providing fruit."

"Thanks," he said. "Barry tells me you sorted all the animals out, and milked not one but both goats! You are amazing!"

"I checked the greenhouses as well, the automatic watering is working well. I wondered if they'd broken any glass or sabotaged the watering, but it seems they were intent on the turbines, at least at first. Anyway, what's with you?"

"It seems I have a fractured skull. They scanned me and I don't seem to have any haemorrhaging, but they want me in until at least tomorrow afternoon to check for concussion, The other bits are bruised where it seems they were kicking me, but nothing broken."

"Well, don't worry about the place. Elaine is going to help me out. I'll see you tomorrow. Perhaps I can take you home."

"How did you deal with four of them? The police just said you were holding them off with a shotgun and Bob?"

"Yes, You know it was Trevor? He was kicking you when I got outside. He scoffed that I didn't know how to handle a gun. I lied and said you'd given me lessons, and anyway I'd have to let Bob go to aim the thing. He's so scared of Bob he never tried anything."

"But the other two?"

"Told them I had two barrels and a dog for four of them, and who was going to be the lucky one!"

Joseph laughed. "I'm so glad we met."

"If we'd not met you wouldn't be here now," she said, showing her distress. "It's my fault you're here."

"No, my love, it's not your fault. It's the fault of those who did this thing. You were superb from all accounts. I'm just glad you're on my side."

"I am, you know," she said quietly. "Totally."

Her heart was full at 'my love', and later thought that was when there was a momentous change in her attitude.

To lighten the tone, she asked him about hospital and pretty nurses bathing him. He smiled and said that the pretty nurse who saw to him was a strapping six feet tall male.

"Bet you were disappointed!" she quipped.

"Well..." and his infectious grin surfaced again.

They chatted on and before she knew it, it was time she got back to the cottage. She kissed him again – a promise of future delights when he got home, she told him. He said he thought he would heal all the more quickly for that promise. Another kiss and she left.

Elaine came and milked Susan, then after a mug of tea and a chat, the two of them rounded up the chickens and shooed the pigs into their house and closed up after leaving enough feed for them. Then Elaine left, hurtling down the lane on her racing bike.

Angela let Bob out, and when he returned suitably relieved, she locked up, made up the fires, set the alarms and went to bed, again sleeping soundly.

Sunday 19 April 2009

It was Mary who came the next morning as she was leaving the house to see to the animals, and who milked Susan for her. She also collected the eggs and the two women boxed them and loaded them and the milk onto the back of the land rover. Barry would not be coming, since Mary was already there. Once again, Barry had disinfected the empty churns for her.

The two women sat and had their toast and tea.

"So how are things with Joseph and you?" Mary asked. "You were both worrying about whether you could settle in here?"

Angela remembered Joseph had confided in them.

"We decided on Friday night to part for some months to see if I could make up my mind. I didn't want to commit to him and then let him down if I couldn't take this life permanently. He's been too hurt by women not coping before, I mean his mother and Susan."

"Oh," said Mary looking disappointed. She thought for a moment. "You know ... I'll say these two things. One: for us women it's not the place where we are with the man we love, but simply being with him where ever he is. Two: I've seen girls and women settle well to this life with half the feeling and suitability you have for it, and never look back."

Angela looked at her and again felt something change in her. It was the same feeling she'd had with Joseph the day before, and she knew then what it was.

"Mary," she said, and stopped.

Mary looked at her and smiled. "Something's changed all that," she said.

"When I looked at the monitors," said Angela, "and saw Joseph knocked down, I was not simply upset, I was angry, very angry. This was my man, and this was my house and smallholding. I was defending this way of life as well as Joseph. I've realised that it's not just a nice warm feeling when I come here, this is home.

"I knew it even more clearly when I did the rounds yesterday morning on my own. There was no Joseph to lead the way, tell me what he wanted doing, and I still felt this was the life I wanted. If he had died I would have wanted to carry it on. Not that I could have: I'm sure his will has the place sold. Mind you, it would also take a lot of learning, but at that moment I really knew I could do it.

"I'm sure now. Absolutely sure. As you say, it's Joseph that I've always been sure of, and now no matter what comes my way, I want this life as well, life with him."

"Good on yer, girl," Mary said smiling. "It's so obvious to us you're exactly right for him, and you're already a perfect farmer's wife!"

The two laughed. Then Angela became serious.

"All I need to do now is to convince Joseph."

"You will, lass, you will."

Mary got up and left, and Angela went out to check the greenhouses. As before Bob came along, padding by her side. She saw the broken padlocks and remembered they would need to buy new ones. She smiled as she caught that thought – 'we' need to buy new ones.

She once again walked the vegetable field. Then she opened the barn and checked the hay, and then the woodpile. It was quite depleted, but then the winter was just finished and it would need restocking for next winter.

After coffee, she remembered it was Sunday and that she had missed church. She laughed when she realised she felt guilty! She really was in the same mindset as Joseph, loving the routines he had. She had coffee and then left for the hospital.

"So when are they going to set you free?" she asked with a smile.

He grimaced. "Not today," he said. "I'm fairly sure it'll be tomorrow, I think they just want to be certain in case anything goes wrong and I sue them!" He laughed at the idea, and so did she. They both knew he would never do that.

He looked thoughtful. "Perhaps Barry could come and pick me up," he said. "You'll be back at work. Come to that, I hope Elaine will see to the livestock."

"No need," she said assertively, "I'm not going into work tomorrow. I'll pick you up."

"But your job?" he worried.

She patted his arm. "I'll get the day off, no problem," she told him. "I want to make sure you're all right before I go back to work. My boss will understand. In any case I want to talk to you before I go back."

"Sounds ominous."

"It isn't, don't worry. I just want to discuss further what we decided on Friday. This incident has given me food for thought, but I want you back at home before I say anything. Is that all right?"

"Of course."

Monday 20 April 2009

Next morning, Barry arrived just after Angela had finished milking both goats.

"Sorry!' he said, "Elaine were supposed to come, but I were out and she overslept – out late with her boyfriend last night. She's very sorry. How about I get the eggs for you and you make some tea? I see you've done the milk."

They had their usual tea and toast and after he had left, she quickly did the rounds and found all was well. So she locked up and made the journey to her office, having phoned her boss with the news that she would be late and needed to speak with him.

Joseph had plenty of time to think as he sat by his bed waiting for a final meeting with the doctor and for Angela's arrival.

He had awoken as always at 5.30, long before the hospital moved into daytime mode, and he lay from then on thinking about the past months.

He smiled as in the dim lighting of the ward he had begun to roll out of bed to let Bob out. He had stood by the bed before he realised he was in hospital, and Bob was a long way away.

Angela! She was lying in his bed back home, she was getting up to let Bob out and follow his routine. He envisaged her making up the stoves, putting on her cagoule and going to milk the goats, and do the other daily jobs.

There was no point trying to meditate: lying down he would fall asleep in no time, and if he were to sit in the lotus position he would attract unwanted attention. He was in no need of either. He knew if he went back to sleep he would feel terrible when he awoke later.

So he lay there and the first thought was that they had decided to separate. He felt a gaping hole in his emotions as he contemplated life without her weekend visits. After they agreed, he had felt at ease with the plan, but now things were different. Somehow he now felt vulnerable living on his own.

He allowed himself the luxury of reminiscing about her arrival at his cottage that rainy January evening, the foggy dark, Bob's sensitive nose picking out her scent in the fine rain, and careering off to find her. Then the feeling of her light frame as he carried her back, and the occasional glimpses of parts of her that should not have been available to him.

His memory traced the development of their intimacy, leading to that early arrival of hers and her seductive stripping in response to his inadequate towel. He could almost feel their subsequent coupling, the warmness of her pliant body, the twin pressure points of her full breasts and their soft firmness.

How eager she was to play a full part in the daily round of farming life! How quickly she'd learned the rules and regulations! He got a vivid picture of her surprise, excitement and gratitude when he connected the phone and showed her the television and music player, and the sofa. Then her suggestion that he buy another sofa for the living room, and the good use they made of it!

Crowding in on the happy memories were the times she left and how empty he felt after she went with Trevor in the helicopter.

Then her worry and urgency about the visitor from the 'planning office', her anger at his trial at the magistrates' court and at Trevor's vindictiveness. That led to a memory of the snowstorm and finding Trevor. Her reluctance to get into bed with the man. His mouth tightened at the man's lack of gratitude for having his life saved, even to coming at dead of night to destroy Joseph's life. If it hadn't been for Angela, Trevor would likely have killed him.

Light had crept through the windows of the ward and he greeted the nurse who came in to give early medication to a couple of the other men in the ward. She gave him a warm smile.

"Hi Joseph!" she said, stopping by his bed. "Been awake since five again?"

He nodded.

"I think we'll be losing you today," she said brightly. "You can go back to cuddling your pet animals!"

It was a running joke once she had found out about his smallholding. He had painstakingly told her they were not pets, but she enjoyed her joke too much to stop.

"I have someone better to cuddle," he replied with a grin.

"Oh, yes, that gorgeous woman I saw with you. I'm jealous! No chance for me, then?"

"Can you milk goats?" he joshed her.

"You got me there!" she said. "Is she coming for you this morning?"

"She said so," he said. "After she's seen to the livestock."

"Doctor will be in after breakfast," she said. "Then we can sign you off into her obviously capable hands. Joseph, you should make an honest woman of her you know, and soon!"

She went on to the other patients, giving each of them a personal greeting. A woman who loved her job.

Her final comment arrested him in his thoughts. Was it wrong of them to separate? Was it wrong to concentrate on what only might go wrong?

After breakfast, the same nurse extracted his clothes from the cupboard and drew the curtains while he dressed. Then he sat in the chair by the bed.

"Nothing to read?" the nurse asked, seeing him sitting there.

"I've plenty to think about," he said with a smile. "About honest women."

She laughed and walked off. The sun now shone from a clear blue sky and he felt positive about the future.

The policeman who had come to take his statement had been Stuart Norris. It was he who told Joseph the details of the events after he lost consciousness. He now knew how distressed she was, how she turned down the invitation to go with him in the ambulance because she needed to look after the livestock.

From Barry he knew how wonderfully she'd coped on her own, and with all these thoughts coalescing he felt more and more strongly that he wanted her with him now, and not in nine months. He suspected he'd been too cautious. Was Angela another Susan? Of course not. If their relationship did not work out, would it have the same effect on him? Who knew? Couldn't he have the same faith in the future as he did when he met Susan?

Then with a start, memories came flooding in of the years of happiness with Susan and Sonia. He reprised a succession of events and knew at that moment that even so long after their death he had concentrated on her desertion of him, and on her and Sonia's deaths. He had been getting over Trevor's and Susan's treachery and had succeeded, without ever appreciating the good times in that marriage.

He would have to think again about how he could persuade Angela at least to continue to come at weekends, and to work towards making a life together. He knew then that he wanted nothing – no one – else but her in his life.

The doctor came and pronounced him fit to leave the hospital. Half an hour later, Angela hove into view and his spirits leapt. She had a glowing smile on her lips and dancing eyes and he felt a surge of love for her.

"Ready?" she said redundantly, since he was standing carrying his remaining possessions in a carrier bag.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her in full view of the rest of the ward, gaining a round of applause from those patients who were well enough to notice. The nurses wished him well and waved him off.

"Everything OK?" he asked as they drove out of the hospital car park.

"Yep!" she said with a laugh in her voice. "Sonia's milk yield is down a little. I had to pump up some more water from the beck into the glasshouse tanks. It hadn't run out but it was low. The woodpile is getting low, though there's still plenty of hay. Vegetables are doing nicely, but some of the glasshouse plants are looking ready to plant out. Bit early, there'll be frosts again tonight. I think it's time we moved the hen run." She paused for breath.