Chapter 72: A Lie of Omission?

August 25, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

If there was anything that Penny could have said that would knock me for a total loop, it was that Zeke might not be the baby’s father. It boggled my mind and I felt a surge of adrenaline. Fortunately, I was sitting, and other than my knees shaking a bit and my ears ringing from my tinnitus, it passed quickly. I took a deep breath and let it out.

“Penelope, I love you, so pardon me for saying this, but what the fuck?”

She moved to the couch and flopped down, and turned to spread out. I moved over to one of the chairs so she didn’t have to speak loudly.

“You won’t say anything to anyone? No matter what?”

“Never. I’m silent as the grave.”

Which was what Elyse had once said to me, and I was about to get information that was potentially even more dangerous than what Elyse knew about my ties to the Outfit.

“Do you remember back when Tasha had her baby and we talked about stuff the ‘Gang of Four’ did?”

“Sure. That was around the same time you were on your kick teasing me about my vasectomy and Crystal.”

“And you know how I was?”

“I remember something about you wearing Terry out. And coming on to me really strongly.”

“Yeah, well, I was pretty much insatiable then. I don’t know what it was. Maybe not being with Tasha and Zeke for a few months. Maybe just me.”

“And?” I prompted.

“You remember what happened when I was dating Ned?”

I sighed, “Yeah, I remember. But why?”

“I don’t know. I was getting my lunch at the deli, the guy behind the counter was cute and he flirted, I flirted back and things kind of got out of control.”

I squeezed my eyes tightly, and took a deep breath and let it out. The few seconds that passed seemed interminable. My head throbbed, but it wasn’t the adrenaline now. It was because I was a blind fool. I had led her down this path. I had unthinkingly created the conditions for this to happen. And I had to tell Penny.

“I’m a damned fool,” I sighed.

“What are you talking about?”

“You were fourteen and I brought you into a world for which you were NOT prepared. Before you even had a chance to date, you and I became lovers. I set perhaps the worst possible example I could have for an impressionable young woman.”

“Wait!” she gasped. “You regret making love with me?”

“No; I regret dragging you into an adult world too soon and without either of us understanding what that meant. I love you, Penny. I always have and I always will. But you never had a chance to learn how to develop proper relationships, and that’s my fault.”

Penny sat up and looked at me. She still looked pained, but I saw her usual feistiness in her eyes.

“What happened to accepting responsibility for your own actions?”

“I didn’t say you weren’t responsible for what you did, Pretty Penny. I said I created the conditions for it to happen.”

“You do regret it!” she said, her temper quickly rising. “You think it was a mistake!”

“Of all the things I did, making love to you was NOT a mistake. Everything that led up to it? That’s a different story.”

“That makes no sense!”

“It does make sense. A lot of people think the end justifies the means. I’m saying it doesn’t. Even if the end was right, the way I took us there was wrong. I was the adult and should have known better.”

“I don’t agree, but let’s say you’re right. What do I do?”

This was the dilemma faced by Al Barton and Angela Wilton. They’d made a decision not to tell Troy, but Angela, in a fit of pique, had told Jessica when Jessica was six. The problem was, Terry knew the child wasn’t his, and assumed it was Zeke’s. Penny thought it might not be, and I wondered if it was best to keep things exactly that way. The uncertainty factor would allow her to salvage the situation.

The problem was, she would have to cover up her affair. I disliked that solution, based on my own experience. But I wondered if, for Penny, the pragmatic solution, rather than the dogmatically ideological one, was right. I was struggling to separate my personal feelings for Penny, her relationship with Terry, their relationship with Zeke and Tasha, and the potential effects on NIKA. I had too many damned responsibilities and they conflicted with each other.

What were my priorities? I’d been saying over and over to myself, and occasionally to others as I worked through my plans for NIKA, that I wanted to put family first, and have everyone who worked for NIKA have a proper work-family balance. The issue I was struggling with was that Zeke was a Regional Director, Tasha a Development Manager, and Penny and Terry two of our top programmers. A major blowup could hurt NIKA badly and ruin scores of families. What a fucking mess I’d created.

“Hell if I know,” I sighed. “There are no good answers.”

“What would you do?”

“You know what I did when something like this happened, albeit without the pregnancy.”

“So I go and confess?”

I shook my head, “No, I don’t think so. I can’t tell you who, and I can’t give you details, but I know of another situation like this. And I saw what happened. If you want my opinion, don’t tell anyone. Keep this between you and Terry. My biggest fear is that you tell Zeke and Tasha, they ask for a DNA test to be sure, and it comes back no match. There are a dozen other scenarios which could ruin all your relationships AND bring down NIKA, or hurt it badly. I know I pride myself on the truth, but in THIS case, for you, I’d say just let sleeping dogs lie.”

“But you would go to your wives and confess?”

I nodded, “I would. And take my lumps. And try to work through it the best I could. But Penny, that’s me. I’m not suggesting you lie, I’m suggesting you simply say nothing and convince Terry to say nothing to Zeke and Tasha.”

“A lie of omission, I think Jorge called it.”

“Yes, Penny, he did. I love you and I’ll support you in whatever you decide. No matter what happens, I’ll be here for you and you’ll always have your job. Nothing is ever going to change that.”

“You aren’t angry with me?” she asked, sounding like a little girl I’d met once before, when she’d cheated on Ned.

“No, Penny, I’m not.”

“Disappointed? Like last time?”

I shook my head, “Only in myself.”

I thought about another young girl, only fourteen, that I’d just been with and wondered if, perhaps, I’d done something similar. I didn’t think so, as the circumstances were entirely different. But I wasn’t completely sure. The cultural differences made it very difficult to judge.

“I’m not sure what to do.”

“Would Terry say anything to Zeke and Tasha without your agreement?”

Penny shook her head, “No, he won’t. And we agreed that we’d only do that if we both thought it was the right thing to do.”

“Then take some time and think about it, and talk to Terry.”

Penny patted the sofa next to her in a role reversal from Monday and I sat down next to her. I put my arm around her and held her for about fifteen minutes, before she was ready to get up and start working. I cleared my mind and fired up the editor to continue working on the new modules for the medical software.

I worked until 11:30am, when Kimmy came to remind me it was time to leave for my lunch with Al Barton. I saved my work, stood up, stepped behind Penny, put my arm around her shoulders, and kissed her cheek. I left the office and went to my car for the drive to Hyde Park. I’d called Victoria earlier and asked her to order lunch so we could eat in the privacy of Al’s office.

“How are you feeling, Al?” I asked as we sat down to eat.

“I swear, if one more person asks that question...” he groused.

I chuckled, “Which is exactly how I felt when I had that same question asked incessantly!”

“And why you shouldn’t harass me about it! I’m fine, Steve.”

“For which I am extremely happy. I need some advice, Al.”

“About?”

“A friend of mine. And yes, this really is about a friend, not about me. I promise.”

“That’s not exactly an introduction that bodes well.”

“I have a friend who is in a situation similar to your situation with Angela. But it’s even more complicated because the father could be one of two guys.”

“And you are NOT one of those two guys?”

“The baby was conceived after my vasectomy, Al. And even if that wasn’t the case, there is no way this baby could be mine. I mean that. Truly zero chance.”

After all, it had been nine years since I’d been with Penny, but I was doing my best to give Al no information that might give away who I was talking about.

“That’s a mess. Who knows besides you and the girl?”

“It’s a very complicated mess. It’s difficult to explain, but only the girl and I know.”

“You know how I handled it - Angela and I agreed not to tell anyone. And you see where THAT ended up.”

I nodded, “A potential disaster which could blow up in all our faces and make a complete hash of several lives. Which is exactly the position this young woman is in.”

“Well, her choices are fairly limited - either get the truth out now and deal with the fallout, or try to keep it secret and risk a major explosion down the road. I know what your choice would be. You’re honest to a fault.”

“You know I don’t do ‘What if?’, but I daresay the choice to tell the truth back when Jess was born would have prevented the issues we’re having now. Of course, it could have caused OTHER issues, and who knows what would have happened. And that’s why I hate asking ‘What if?’. That said, when I cheated on Kara in High School, I went straight to her and confessed.”

“A gutsy move that paid off handsomely,” Al said.

“Because of Kara, not because of me.”

“There’s a lot to be said for candor and honesty. Then again, I doubt the situation is like mine where this young woman’s daughter will end up as her student in medical school.”

“Highly unlikely,” I chuckled. “We’re not talking a UofC doctor here.”

“Thank heavens for small favors. I suppose I should ask you if you would want to know the truth, but I’m sure I know the answer.”

“Yes, I would. And we’d work through it.”

“You would, I’m sure,” Al replied. “Most men couldn’t. I still think Troy would lose his mind, even after all these years, despite the fact that he fathered a child out of wedlock. Most men can’t forgive that. It’s a blood insult because someone touched their woman.”

“They aren’t property, Al!”

“You know that. I know that. And I suspect most of your friends do. Tell that to a Texan in 1960. Hell, tell that to a Texan NOW; or anyone in the Bible Belt! That kind of thing makes Sicilian vendettas look like a game of checkers. I know I’m probably probing too close, but do you know how the husband would react?”

“I haven’t the foggiest,” I said, which was a fib, which I had to expand, “I don’t know him well enough.”

“Well, thank heavens for that, too. That means it’s not one of your closest friends like Kurt, Karl, Pete, or someone like that.”

“Please don’t push that, Al. For the very reason you don’t want the issue with Jess discussed.”

“Sorry. I guess I don’t know what to tell you, except that if it can truly be kept from everyone, that might be the best solution. That’s my advice.”

I nodded, “Sadly, the world is an imperfect place. I suppose, in the end, the question is whether certain pain now is better than potentially larger pain down the road. And there is no way I can decide that for someone else.”

“No, you can’t. This is one of those decisions, like abortion, where it’s very personal and very private, and it has to be made by the person involved because they have to live with the decision one way or the other. Something you acknowledge, despite your fairly radical personal thoughts on that particular issue.”

“Very true. So do you want to hear more about Japan?”

“I’ve been waiting!” he laughed. “I’ve only had bits and pieces, though I suppose having a heart attack a couple of days after you came back sort of makes that my fault.”

I spent the rest of our lunch relating the story, though as I usually did, left out the consummation of my intimate relationship with Sakurako. We finished eating, shook hands, and I left Al’s office to head back to the West Loop.

That evening, after karate practice, Jessica and I went to O’Hare to meet Kara’s flight from DC.

“How was Washington?” I asked after the three of us kissed and hugged.

“I think you’re right - they can keep it! The White House tour was cool, and so was the gala at the Smithsonian, but the city is a pit.”

“And the conference?”

“Exciting! Though I suspect your opinion would be similar to Jessica’s about NASCAR.”

I chuckled, “Of that, I have no doubt! You know how I avoid the ‘Chemistry Mafia’ like the plague! How did your presentation go?”

“Just fine. One more thing off the list for getting a full professorship and tenure once I achieve my PhD.”

“I’m glad to have you home, Honey.”

“And I’m glad to be home! Now, let’s get home so the three of us can make up for the week apart!”

She didn’t have to ask twice!

August 26, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

I walked into Rosebud on Friday just before noon and saw Melissa Mascioli waiting by the host’s stand. I stepped up next to her.

“Hi,” I said, extending my hand.

“Hi,” she said, taking my hand and shaking gently.

The host led us to our table and provided menus. A waitress immediately took our drink orders and we perused the menus. When we’d each made our selection and set the menus down, the waitress was back to take our orders almost immediately.

“So what can I do for you?” I asked.

“I was hoping we could make this a regular thing, one reluctant CEO to another.”

Another thing which I’d have to squeeze into my already busy schedule, but in reality, lunches were a good way to keep in touch with people, especially if they were only occasional. And DP Engineering had been a very profitable relationship for NIKA.

I chuckled, “Sure, I could do that. I’m curious, and obviously you don’t have to answer, but what was the plan before you realized your brother didn’t have the temperament for the role?”

“Shared duties. I’m sure it won’t surprise you, but Dante told Mark it was foolish to relinquish the big office to me.”

“No, it doesn’t surprise me. They seemed to click, if you know what I mean.”

“Two frat boys who think making jokes about sex and women are a good way to do business. The thing is, Dante would never have sold DP Engineering to me, so I guess that’s a good thing.”

“Let’s just say I’m very glad you’re going to be in charge. I had to speak to Dante several times about how he treated my female team members.”

“Oh, I got that, too. The man is a pig.”

“And a brilliant engineer,” I said.

“Just like my brother. I was SO tempted to tell Lena about Mark’s behavior, but he’s been like this since he was thirteen and has never grown up. I’m not sure he’s ever going to change.”

“Same as Dante, I guess. It was pretty easy for me to deal with Dante once I figured him out. It was just a matter of being a bigger pr ... jerk than he was. Sorry.”

Melissa laughed, “I’m not some blushing virgin or a prude! Just don’t be disgusting.”

“What do you foresee as your biggest challenge?” I asked.

“Changing the corporate culture without losing key staff.”

“Dario and Daniela?”

“Among others. The engineers were pretty much allowed to act like Dante and treated the female staff horribly. Most of your team are female, right?”

I nodded, “My entire executive team, my Chairman, one of my Regional Directors, the Director of Consulting, and a Development Manager are all female. The makeup of the rest of the team is weighted towards women.”

“Is there a reason?”

“We started with five of us, three of whom were women, and our first hire was a woman. It kind of just kept going from there.”