Chapter 65: A New Perspective

July 22, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

“Tiger, I’m still a bit concerned about this girl, Sakurako.”

Jessica, Kara, and I were taking turns showering on Friday morning.

I nodded, “I understand, but as I said last night, in traditional, conservative societies, teenagers are adults, with adult responsibilities, not just to their family, but to society. And those responsibilities can be met because they are taught from an early age. Look at our family; we’re anything but traditional and conservative, but Jesse, Matthew, and Birgit all know how to cook and clean, and they do their own laundry. They meet their responsibilities as members of this family quite well.”

“That hardly makes them adults!” she protested.

“Are you SURE about that?” I asked. “How mature are our kids? Light-years ahead of most. Are they fully adults at eight, seven, and six? Of course not. They all have age-appropriate responsibilities and duties, as well as age-appropriate freedom. And that’s OUR definition of ‘age-appropriate’, not society’s. When Birgit is fourteen, what are you going to tell her about her decisions with regard to sex? That suddenly, despite being treated as a responsible, developing adult, she’s now a toddler who can’t make any decisions on her own? That’s the exact problem we’re seeing in society!”

“But Tiger, fourteen?”

“Yes. Fourteen. A fourteen-year-old who learned to speak fluent English in a society where most people only speak a single language, has significant responsibilities around the house, manages her own time, within limits of course, and assists her grandmother in running the household. You can’t even begin to draw comparisons to most American kids. Heck, the typical American fourteen-year-old can barely make their own bed, let alone make and serve an eight-course traditional tea ceremony!”

“What about the age of consent?”

“That’s an interesting question. I asked Hiroshi about it on the way back to Narita. Japanese law nominally says thirteen, though the Child Welfare laws modified that, but they only forbid vaginal intercourse, and they have specific allowances for sincere romantic relationships, with the ultimate say being left to the parents. Now, I didn’t know that at the time, but I did know that Sakurako’s grandmother gave her consent.”

“And her wearing some special kimono proves that?”

“Absolutely. There is no way, and I mean no way, that Sakurako would wear a «furisode» without permission. To do so would be a rejection of everything she believed. In addition, proper, formal kimono are not cheap, and she wouldn’t have had the money to buy one herself, if she even could have done that in such a short time-frame, which she couldn’t have. They are hand-made and not something you walk into the Japanese version of Marshall Field’s and buy. And that’s especially true in Oguni, which is about the size of Milford. A proper kimono is usually made specifically for the person who is going to wear it. This one belonged to her grandmother, who needed it for the same reason, and who felt Sakurako should wear it.”

“I don’t know,” Jessica said getting out of the shower.

“Jess, we’ve had this discussion with Bethany before. Forget what you hear in the media and from politicians, and listen to the psychologists who know what they’re talking about. Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children. Sakurako was, decidedly, past puberty.

“The term you could use would be ephebophilia, which, as Bethany has pointed out is having a primary sexual interest in teenagers, generally ages 15 to 19, and is not considered to be pathological. It is, in fact, considered ‘normal’. That said, while I do like girls in that age range, it’s NOT my strong preference, as witnessed by my recent behavior.

And to take it further, ephebophilia is not listed in the DSM as a disorder, which means even if it were my strong preference, psychologists do not see it as a mental illness nor as something which is wrong. Society has begun to declare it wrong, which is the problem. This goes back to our conversation about age of consent laws being misguided. And, misuse of the terms is at least partly responsible for the infantilization of teenagers, which we’ve discussed.”

“Jess,” Kara said as she got into the shower, “I don’t think there’s a problem, especially given how we’re raising our kids. It was a very special set of circumstances.”

“I suppose so,” Jessica said.

“Babe, it’s OK to question me. It forces me to think through my actions, and trust me; I thought a lot about it. And, as I said, she and I talked a lot, mostly before I figured out what she wanted.”

“I’m curious about their views on virginity. Don’t traditional, conservative societies value virginity?”

“Traditional, conservative societies that follow the Abrahamic traditions - Christians, Jews, and Muslims - certainly do. Buddhist and Shinto societies do not. That doesn’t mean they support the idea of ‘free love’, but within a proper ethical, spiritual, and social context, sex outside of marriage is not taboo. And virginity is not given some intrinsic value that trumps all other considerations.”

“Jess, who is in charge of your sex life?” Kara asked.

“Me. Well, and the two of you, of course.”

“And who is in charge of Sakurako’s sex life?”

“She is. You’re right, and I’m letting my past, and the current political environment, color my perception. I’m sorry.”

“The thing is, we’re going to have to take all of that into account,” I said. “So asking the question isn’t a bad thing. In the end, though, given everything that happened, I don’t see how I could ethically have made a different decision. Could someone quibble? Sure. But in the end, when all was said and done, any other course of action would have created more turmoil.”

“That makes sense, I suppose.”

“And Jess,” Kara said. “I think you’re missing something very important. I listened very carefully and what I heard was that it wasn’t Snuggle Bear who pursued this relationship. In fact, he was the only one who didn’t know what was happening. He was the prey, not the predator.”

I chuckled, “I’m not sure I’d go THAT far, but there is no doubt in my mind that Sakurako walked the path willingly and deliberately.”

“The cultural differences make it difficult to explain, don’t they?”

“Yes, they do,” I agreed. “But I think there’s an important point which was missed just now, and that’s the holistic picture. What happened in Japan wasn’t about any specific thing or specific issue, but my entire person - mind, body, soul, and spirit. To try to break it down into component parts is to miss the forest for the trees.”

“You mean by focusing on Sakurako we miss the entire point of the trip?” Jessica asked.

“Yes. If THAT is the only thing you took away from my story, then you’ve missed the entire point. Consider also a very important thing. With me and Sakurako, who was broken?”

“You!” Jessica exclaimed.

“Yes, me. I needed fixing and every single thing she did helped, just as Sensei Hiro did, and Yoshiro the monk did, and Sensei Robert did. I’m not fixed, but I think I’ve taken a big step forward.”

“I see your point, but you do have something to explain, Tiger,” she said when I got into the shower. “And it’s not a cultural difference or a holistic issue.”

“What’s that?”

“The discolored splotch on your side. That looks like it was a very nasty bruise from about ten days ago.”

“Blame ‘Cobra Kai’,” I chuckled. “And it was a cultural difference, believe it or not.”

“Huh?”

“Sorry. Actually, it probably would be more fitting to refer to Sato’s dojo, but I only saw Karate Kid Part II once and can’t remember any details. ‘Cobra Kai’ was the insane, aggressive dojo that was harassing Daniel and Mr. Miyagi.”

“What happened?”

“Three of Hiro-san’s students took exception to a «gaijin» teaching in his dojo. We had a brief encounter session where they learned the error of their ways.”

“You had a fight?” Kara asked. “One you couldn’t avoid?”

“I probably could have, once, but not for the twelve days I had left. I used my best judgment and as I told Robert-san, I evaluated the situation, ensured I could safely leave the area, and did so.”

“And by ‘safely leave the area’ you meant winning the fight?”

“That was really just round one. They showed up, sporting their injuries, at the dojo. Both Hiro-san and Robert-san figured out what happened because Sakurako had put liniment on the one injury I had and they’d smelled it at the morning training session. I said nothing, and when it came time to lead the afternoon session, I chose to spar with the black belts and brown belts.”

“You did WHAT?!” Jessica demanded angrily.

“I chose to spar with the black belts and brown belts,” I repeated calmly. “I had been doing that anyway, after a talk with Sensei Hiro and after he established some firm rules.”

“Stephen Mark Adams!” Jessica said exasperated. “YOU CANNOT DO THAT!”

“Jess,” I snapped forcefully, “I love you, but DO NOT EVER use that tone of voice with me again. You are NOT my mom and if you decide you want to be, then Kara and I WILL find somewhere else to sleep. Permanently. Do you hear me?”

She recoiled, “Sorry; but Tiger, sparring? Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. I evaluated the risk and made a decision. As I do with everything. Anyway, I used my secret weapon in sparring just as I had in the earlier street fight - my Aikido training. You know Sensei Hiro’s school focuses on basics and kata, with less emphasis on sparring. I discovered Shōtōkan has its own grapples and throws, but they aren’t taught before black belt level, and Sensei Hiro deemphasized them. And you know we don’t compete in tournaments. And I know why, now. Sensei Hiro doesn’t believe in outside competition and his students don’t compete in tournaments in Japan. Remember, we’re technically his students. That said, the ultimate decision would rest with Sensei Jim.

“Anyway, after I used two Aikido moves on Mitsuo, he was enraged and foolishly tried a spinning jump kick aimed at my head. I expected he would do something like that, and I rewarded him with an uppercut to the gonads while he was mid-jump. He didn’t get up for about five minutes, and as Sakurako said later, his wife, Keiko, was probably very sad for several days.”

“You punched him in the balls?” Kara giggled. “Did you get in trouble?”

“He and his friends complained I cheated, but Mitsuo had broken the rules by trying for the kick to the head, and as Sensei Hiro said, if you start a fight the way they did in the street, you don’t get to decide the rules.”

“So what happened?”

“Mitsuo, Hikaru, and Katsu began running with me. I gave Mitsuo my Penguins Championship Cap as a gift.”

“But you can’t replace that one!” Jessica protested.

“I’d say, in the end, that cap is exactly where it belongs - on the head of a black belt from our extended family of «karateka» who is now a friend for life, even if I never see him again. I actually pissed off Sensei Hiro by doing that, and by asking for something completely out of line.”

We moved to the bedroom to dress.

“I can’t wait until the novel is available to find out!” Kara giggled. “What happened? Tell me!”

“In addition to determining that the three guys should have no punishment, I gave the cap to Mitsuo, AND asked Hiro-san to restore Mitsuo to his place as heir-apparent to Dojo Hisakawa Hiro. That was a request which was completely out of line, and not mine to make. But as I told Robert-san later, I could get away with the breach of protocol because I am a «gaikokujin», and could make a request so rude, and so out of line, a Japanese would never even consider uttering it.”

“What’s the difference between the two Japanese words you used?” Jessica asked.

“The first one, «gaijin» is rude and an insult. The second, «gaikokujin», is a slight variation, but is polite. The first is kind of like saying ‘foreigner’ with total disdain in your voice. The second literally means ‘foreign-country person’ - that is, someone who is not Japanese, without being a slur.”

“What happened?”

“An icy stare and a cold response acknowledging my request. I was reasonably sure I would be turned down, and later, I was told that Hideki, another black belt, would be made the heir apparent once I came home. And unless I miss my guess, that’s who Sakurako will eventually marry.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because he meets all of her criteria for a husband, is now her grandfather’s top student, is good looking, and unlike Mitsuo, he’s single.”

“And he’s not going to come looking for you?” Jessica asked.

“For what? I didn’t steal anything from him. I did him no insult. Please stop equating what you know of American religious conservatism with Japan. It ain’t Texas, Babe.”

She took a deep breath, “I’m sorry.”

“Are you having stress at work? You usually don’t get like this without that.”

She shook her head, “No, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?”

“I missed you,” she said softly.

I took her in my arms and held her for several minutes, before we went downstairs to eat breakfast. Birgit was waiting for us, but she was happy as I’d been up at my usual time and cuddled her while I caught up on the local, national, and international news, before going back upstairs for a shower. After breakfast, we kissed the kids and Kara goodbye, and then the two of us and Elyse went out to my car. At Cook County, I walked Jessica to the doors to the ER.

“I’m sorry, Tiger.”

“It’s OK, Babe. In fact, I’m glad you missed me. That wouldn’t have been the case before last November.”

“No, it wouldn’t have. I’m glad you’re home.”

“And I’m glad to be home. See you tonight?”

She smiled, we kissed, and I went back to the car for the short drive to NIKA.

“There is NO WAY you were away for five weeks without getting laid and are this calm,” Elyse said with a smirk as I turned onto Roosevelt Road.

“You’ll just have to wait for the novel to come out, Belgium,” I chuckled.

“Bullshit!” she laughed. “Spill it.”

I gave her the short version of the story and was not surprised by her ‘I told you so!’ response.

“It’s more than that, though,” I said. “I think I completely understand why you want to get out of the city.”

“We could buy a really, really nice house in the burbs, you know. Bigger than the one on Woodlawn.”

“I know, but I like the city. I just need to find time to properly recharge my batteries. And I’m not the only one. I have some ideas I want to talk through about NIKA, too. But let’s wait until next week. Today I need to get back in the game, or at least get a good look at the score sheet for the last month.”

“Are you only doing a half-day today?”

“No, I feel good enough to stay the entire day. My body clock is still out of whack, but I’m OK.”

“From everything you’ve said, it seems like your trip helped you develop a new perspective on life.”

“You have no idea.”

“What’s going to change?”

“Pretty much everything,” I said.

“I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”

“You will, because it’s about simplification and inner peace.”

“No more drama?”

I laughed, “Not from me, but the world will make sure there’s plenty to go around!”

“So getting your brains fucked out by a cute little Japanese girl really helped?”

“Believe it or not, talking with her helped way more than making love with her. Both were necessary, but neither was sufficient without the other. How are things with Eduardo?”

“He’s traveling a lot. They’re expanding fast, and he’s hopping all over North and South America.”

“He’ll be in town for the wedding?”

“His flight from Mexico City gets in late this evening. He said he’d be at breakfast tomorrow.”

We arrived at the office and as usual, walked around to the front entrance, eschewing the side door.

“Welcome back, Steve!” Lucas said when we walked into the lobby.

“Hi, Lucas. How are things?”

“Good. There are a dozen or so phone messages for you. Stuff nobody else could handle, and which could wait.”

“Give me the highlights?”

“Doctor Bauer at IIT wants to have lunch, Dante wants to have dinner with you and the new owners again, and yesterday, a woman named Meredith called for you.”

I chuckled, “Thanks. Only important calls today, please.”

“You got it!”

I swiped my badge and Elyse and I walked into the office.

“Well, I guess I still have a job! My badge works!”

“Who’s Meredith?”

“A girl I slept with on the plane from LA to Tokyo,” I grinned.

Elyse laughed, “Please tell me you kept your journal!”

“I did. I just need to type it into the computer. Or you can read my chicken scratches.”

“I’ll wait for the electronic version, I think. YOU can barely read your own handwriting!”

“Which is why I use my ‘modified for speed’ version of printing, instead of cursive.”

“Hey, Boss!” Terry called out.

Elyse went up the wide staircase towards her office, and I walked over to Terry’s workstation.

“How are things?”

“Good here; good at home. How was the trip?”

“Enlightening.”

“Did you get your promotion?”

“In a manner of speaking. I think I’m going to have lunch brought in so I can talk to everyone at once.”

“Been repeating the stories?”

“Pretty much. Is my partner in crime upstairs?”

“And spitting nails.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Ford, Jackson, and Finch called in a bug. It was one of her modules. And it was one of ‘those’ bugs.”