Chapter 34: Dangerous Vibes

February 24, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

After Mitsuko left, I walked to where I’d parked and drove back to the West Loop. I didn’t know if I’d handled it as best I could, or if I was even making the right decision. In this case, I wasn’t sure ‘do no harm’ was the proper way to evaluate my actions. And that’s when the light went on. It was only part of the decision-making process and I’d let it become the sole deciding factor. And that had made everything coldly analytical. That was no longer sufficient, if it ever had been.

I thought about how things had developed with Kimmy and Jacquelyn, and drew some similarities between those two relationships and Mitsuko. And then I thought about Liz, and tried to fit that relationship into the model that was building in my head. I couldn’t quite do it, but I was convinced, of all the ‘St. Martin Six’, that was the one that was most important and the one that, even with my new thinking, should have happened.

I had some tests of my thinking coming up - Ailea and Amanda. Both had, in their own ways, offered themselves to me. Did I want them? And if so, why? In fact, that was a question I could ask about Mitsuko. I had Jessica, Kara, and Michelle. Did I need Mitsuko? The answer was undoubtedly ‘no’. Did I want her? That answer was undoubtedly ‘yes’. But, as I’d said to Samantha over and over again, just because I wanted something and could obtain it, it didn’t mean I should.

Amanda had made it clear to me what she wanted, and Elyse had encouraged me, but I didn’t feel any spark. And that had to be an important, if not the deciding factor. I was sure I’d enjoy it, but that was no longer enough. I’d have to navigate the rapids with her, as Abbie, ever the troublemaker, had certainly made it clear that we’d been together. But there was a major difference: my relationship with Abbie had started long before she became our nanny. And that had to be a consideration. Exceptions to the rules, if there were to be any, had to be few and far between.

Ailea, on the other hand, fit within the rules, at least now that she’d turned eighteen. I thought back and wondered if, like Jacqui, she’d planned a long, slow seduction. If so, she’d been equally subtle and equally circumspect. Even her telegraphing her desire had been more subtle. No standing naked, wearing my fedora, inviting me to her bed. Just ‘accidental’ touches of the edges of her lips to mine. Like with Mitsuko and Jacqui, she’d developed a friendship with me before she’d made her subtle offer.

I pulled into my parking spot and turned off the engine of my BMW. The rule I was trying to formulate was becoming clearer in my mind. Whereas in the past, I’d effectively accepted ANY offer from an unattached girl - dalliances and random deflowerings - that would no longer be the case. Now, and in the future, there HAD to be more to it than what amounted to wanting to screw. I still didn’t completely understand my motivations, and that meant I needed to be careful and properly evaluate how my wives and I would be affected.

Having at least started my thought process, I got out of the car, and walked around to the front of the building. I went inside, greeted Lucas, then hung my winter gear in the closet before heading up to my office. I greeted Penny with a kiss on the cheek and began reviewing the revised videoconferencing proposal for SPSS. I didn’t get very far before Lucas buzzed me and transferred a call from Jamie Ferguson.

“What did they submit?” I asked after greeting him.

“Breach of contract is the main claim, and unfortunately, that kind of claim nearly always survives a motion to dismiss because it will depend on construction and definition, which are matters of fact, not law.”

“Wonderful. How does that relate to the earlier claims?”

“That you charged them in violation of the contract. It’s a subtle difference, but an important one.”

“And the theft of intellectual property?”

“That was always going to survive an initial motion to dismiss, but we can press that during discovery. They’ll need to show some kind of proof that someone on your team left their offices with diskettes, tapes, or printouts.”

“Printouts?” I asked.

“They specified that in their laundry list. Do we have a problem?”

“I don’t think so. The contract specifies that we’ll turn over all materials at the end of the project, but that we can keep copies of design documents, programs, and that kind of thing unless they notify us to destroy them. They didn’t send you a notice?”

“No, they didn’t. Which means that is also going to come down to construction and language. I think we’re on solid ground, and you know Thad Baker reviews all of my work product, as he’s the senior partner responsible for NIKA.”

“I trust you more than him, Jamie, but I understand the concept of multiple eyes on a document. We do that with our programmers working in pairs and with all our proposals. I’m reviewing one right now for SPSS. What’s our next move?”

“It’s up to you. We could file more motions to dismiss and make them work for it, or cut to the chase. My advice is just move on to discovery. We won’t win the motions and it’ll cost you more and prolong the inevitable.”

“Go on. I’m confident we’ll win.”

“What do I say to a settlement offer?” he asked.

“Given what it will cost me to see this through, if they ask for less than $5000, we’ll take it, but that includes liquidated damages AND attorneys’ fees and court costs. But no more than that, Jamie. If they want more, our answer is ‘see you in court’.”

“OK. I’ll let you know, but I don’t expect a settlement offer, and if we do get one, it certainly won’t be that low.”

“Oh, I’m sure. But when he comes back and asks for $100,000, or whatever it is, you tell him that’s my number. Period. No negotiation. No discussion.”

“Got it. Our first hearing is in thirty days. We’ll take it from there.”

“Thanks, Jamie.”

I hung up and picked up the proposal.

“You’d give that asshole $5000?” Penny hissed.

“If the case goes to trial, it’ll cost us five times that, at least. And that’s if we win!”

“But how could we lose?”

“As Jamie always says, juries are a crapshoot.”

“But they have to prove we did it!”

“Not quite. We both present our cases to the jury and they decide who’s telling the truth based on preponderance of evidence. I don’t think they can show enough evidence to win, but you never know. We’ll know more when we take depositions because they’ll have to tell us everything.”

“This guy is just harassing you!”

“Yep. All because I made him look like an idiot ten years ago with that cheating scandal.”

“How do you make him stop?”

“We really can’t so long as he’s not filing frivolous lawsuits. It sucks, but eventually word will get around that he loses to us every time and that will be the end of it.”

“What if he wins?”

“He won’t. Don’t worry, Penny!”

She turned back to her workstation and I returned to reviewing the proposal. Elyse and I left a bit early so we could take Matthew to the airport.

“Are you ready to go, Foo?” I asked.

“Yes! I packed last night and Mom told my teachers I won’t be there tomorrow or Monday.”

“OK. Let me get your bag from your room and the tickets from my study, and we’ll head to the airport.”

“Abbie and Jason know to pick me up?”

I nodded, “Yes. I talked to Abbie this morning. Someone from American Airlines will take you onto the plane. Then a stewardess will watch out for you. When you get to Charlotte, then someone from American Airlines will take you off the plane to meet Abbie. You did this before, remember?”

“Yes, when I went to Atlanta.”

Elyse joined us, and the three of us walked out to my car to head for Midway Airport. It was a relatively quick drive as rush hour was still an hour away. We’d hit some of the traffic on the way home, but it wouldn’t be too bad as we’d be heading back into the city, rather than towards the suburbs like most of the traffic.

At Midway, we checked Matthew’s bag because the rules for ‘unaccompanied minors’ didn’t allow him a carry-on. Matthew did have a book with him, though I expected him to be so hyped during the flight that he wouldn’t read. We obtained his boarding pass, and then were directed to an office where we met an agent who, after we signed some forms, put an ID on a lanyard and put it around Matthew’s neck.

“I’m Gerry,” he said, shaking hands with Matthew, and then Elyse and I. “Say ‘goodbye’ to your mom and dad, and we’ll get you on your way through security,” the young man said.

Elyse and I each hugged Matthew, and then the agent took his hand and led him away.

“They grow up so fast,” Elyse sighed once Matthew was out of earshot.

“He’s going to be seven this year,” I said. “Can you believe it?”

“No!” Elyse laughed.

“Are you still dead-set against him racing?”

“I wasn’t dead-set,” Elyse sighed. “But it’s sure not my preference. He’s going to be so hyped about racing when he comes home that I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

I took her hand and we started walking towards the car.

“I did do some checking. There hasn’t been a serious accident at that track in years.”

“And your son’s accident wasn’t serious?”

“He wasn’t hurt,” I said.

“This time,” she sighed. “Shit. I’m sounding like Jessica!”

“No, you’re sounding like a concerned mom. You aren’t being irrational and refusing to discuss the risks and whether or not they’re worth taking.”

“That’s just it. If YOU did it, I wouldn’t be as worried.”

“Gee, thanks,” I chuckled.

“Be serious, please. It’s different with my son. You understand the risks, evaluate them, and make a decision. Like with your cigars and pipe. A six-year-old, even one as bright as Matthew, doesn’t. And as a mom, I worry about my son.”

“I know,” I said, squeezing her hand. “I’m sorry I tried to make light of it.”

We came to Cicero Avenue and had to stop to wait for the ‘Walk’ light before crossing over.

“Parenting seemed so easy when they were little,” Elyse said.

“Just wait. Our teenagers are going to be a serious challenge! They’ll be good kids, but they’ll still be teenagers!”

“Isn’t every dad’s fear that his daughter will meet a guy just like him?” Elyse teased.

“I can’t hold my daughters to a double standard!”

“No, you can’t. All I can say is it’s going to get VERY interesting in about five years!”

“Tell me about it!” I chuckled.

The light changed and we walked across Cicero Avenue to the parking lot, got into my BMW, and headed home.

That evening, when we climbed into bed, my wives and I talked through what had happened at lunch.

“I think it’s a good idea to put Amanda off limits,” Jessica said.

“The more I think about it, the more confident I am about that decision. And it’s not just that she’s our nanny, but it’s how the situation developed. It’s almost like it was with Melanie and Jennifer, and that’s just not acceptable at this point.”

“So no arranged assignations?” Kara asked.

“No. And I’m seriously considering a minimum time to know the girl so that I’m not acting on a whim or on the spur-of-the-moment. I think if, and I do mean ‘if’, I’m going to be with anyone in the future besides the two of you and Michelle, it has to be similar to how things developed with Jacqui or Kimmy.”

“I’m curious about Liz,” Jessica said. “I’m not suggesting you start things up with her again, but that seemed to have passion, despite how it came about.”

“I think it’s because she didn’t approach it as ‘just a screw’, even though we hadn’t known each other very well or all that long. Kimmy certainly didn’t approach it that way, and neither did Jacqui. The counterexamples would be Wanda or Keisha or Jill.”

“Do you consider those mistakes?”

“Errors in judgment, perhaps? After my talk with Kara, Jennifer, and Elyse, I’ve reevaluated my behavior. I’m still trying to sort out in my own mind why. And maybe I’ll simply stop. I don’t know for sure.”

“Is this something you want to talk to Doctor Mercer about?” Kara asked.

“I’ve talked to her about it for fifteen years,” I chuckled. “And we know her opinion. And she has her theory as to why I am the way I am. The question is whether or not I can or should change.”

“I worry that such a serious change in your behavior and personality could turn you into someone very different.”

“I think she’s right, Tiger.”

“And I think you’ve just hit on why I’m struggling so much with this, and why it worries Jennifer and Elyse as well. Who or what will I become if I make such a radical change? It’s one thing to temporarily change my behavior; it’s another thing to make a permanent change.”

“I love who you are, Snuggle Bear,” Kara said, snuggling even closer to me. “I don’t want you to become someone different!”

“We all change as we get older,” I offered.

“Yes,” Jessica agreed, “but radical changes are usually detrimental to your relationships. That’s why except in extreme cases, counselors go for small, incremental changes and evaluate the outcome before deciding on the next steps to take.”

“Which makes a lot of sense, and it’s how Doctor Mercer dealt with me. She was more radical with Stephanie because her problems were much more serious.”

“That makes perfect sense.”

“So what will you do about Mitsuko?”

“I suppose it depends on her at this point.”

“And Ailea?”

“It’s possible I’m misreading her, so I’m simply going to assume I’m wrong and see what happens. I haven’t done anything to encourage her and don’t plan to.”

“I’m curious what you’ll do if you find some cute young thing in Japan,” Kara giggled.

“In a rural province where I’m under close supervision by Sensei Hiro and Sensei Robert and have been told by Sensei Jim to follow their orders strictly? I don’t think there’s much chance!”

“With you, Snuggle Bear, there’s always something!”

“So true,” I chuckled.

February 28, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

“How was your trip?” I asked Matthew on Monday afternoon when Elyse and I picked him up at the airport.

“I had lots of fun! I like visiting Abbie and Jason. I want to go see them again. Can I, Mom?”

“Yes, of course you may.”

“Yay! Dad, did you watch the race? Did you see me?”

“We watched, but we didn’t see you.”

“Bill crashed!”

“I saw. And Rusty Wallace won. How is Abbie doing?”

“She said she misses us, but I know she loves Jason.”

“What did you guys do besides go to the race?”

“We went to the place Jason works. That was a lot of fun. I got to see cars being built and Jason let me see all the tools and machines he uses.”