Chapter 28: The New Nanny

January 25, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

“Thanks for meeting me for lunch,” Father Basil said as we sat down at Greek Islands for lunch.

“I enjoy these lunches. I was pretty busy, had my usual medical issues to deal with, and I’m sure Michelle told you about my injury.”

“I heard you went to Mayo but they didn’t find anything.”

“They all think they know what it is. There isn’t a treatment, but it’s not directly life threatening. Had I been able to grab the back of the chair, I’d have been OK.”

“Vladyka asked about you. You should call him.”

“I will,” I said.

“It’s good to see Jesse and Michelle almost every Sunday,” he said. “When will we see you again?”

“I need to focus my time on Jessica and Kara right now. Every minute matters at this point. We’ll certainly be at church for Pascha, but before then I can’t say that we will. Rest assured, Michelle reminds me about it and as she always has, she’s reminding me to pray.”

“You’ve been praying regularly?”

“For Michelle and my friend Jorge. I do the morning prayers from the small prayer book and add intercessions for them. Recently I started including Nick, Stephie, and Birgit as well.”

“You’ve been praying faithfully for about eighteen months, right?”

I nodded, “Yes. But I still have the same struggles and the same impediments.”

Father Basil smiled, “Rome wasn’t built in a day!”

I chuckled, “You did NOT just say that!”

He laughed, “Moscow. Or Constantinople. But you get the gist. My point is, and always has been, that small steps in the right direction will lead you where you need to go. Has Jesse talked to you?”

“About?” I asked.

“Being an acolyte. He’ll be eight next month and that’s about the time we start evaluating kids to serve at the altar.”

“What’s involved?” I asked.

“Just some training, and that can be done after liturgy on Sunday so it won’t require any special trips. We provide the vestments, so there isn’t any cost, either.”

I smiled, “That was the least of my concerns. You know I have to discuss this with his moms.”

Father Basil nodded, “Of course. Though please make it clear this is not a commitment towards being clergy!”

I chuckled, “That condition might put them off a bit, but I think they’ll be OK with him being an acolyte. I have to ask them, though. Or rather, he does, and then I’ll talk with them if there’s any concern on their part. I’ll talk to Jesse tonight.”

That evening, after dinner, I asked Jesse to come to my study.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked when he sat down in one of the wingback chairs.

I shook my head, “No. Why did you think that?”

“Because the last two times you called me here it was because Mom One or Mom Two told you I was bothering Birgit.”

I chuckled, “True. But no, you didn’t do anything that I know of. Is there something you did I DON’T know about?”

Jesse laughed, “I don’t think so! I’ve been good!”

I nodded, “You usually are, except with your little sister.”

“She bugs me!” he said.

“I know. And you know what, she knows that too! So if you just ignore her, I bet she stops bugging you because it will stop bothering you, which is what she wants! She tries to do that to me, too. And her moms. And pretty much everyone!”

“I’ll try,” he said.

“I wanted to talk to you because Father Basil wants you to be an acolyte. You know, be in the altar with him sometimes to help.”

“Cool! Yes! I want to!”

“You need to ask your moms,” I said.

“Can’t you do it?” he begged. “Or just say ‘yes’?”

“I agreed with your moms before you were born that they were the ones who would decide. I think they’ll say ‘yes’, and if they have an issue with it, they’ll talk to me and we’ll work it out. You were allowed to be baptized, remember?”

“Yes. But why can’t you just say ‘yes’? Please?”

“Because I agreed with your moms not to do that. It’s the same for everyone, Jesse. The moms have to have a say.”

“But you’ll let us do whatever we want!” he protested.

I chuckled, “Which is exactly why I agreed to always let your moms have a say! Have they ever said ‘no’ to something that was really important to you?”

“No.”

“So go ask. Then come talk to me if there’s a problem.”

“OK, Dad,” he sighed.

“Jesse, they love you and want what’s best for you, just like I do. But adults don’t always agree on what’s best.”

“Why?”

“For the same reason you don’t agree with Birgit on everything - you are two different people.”

“And I am SO glad I’m not a girl!” he laughed.

“I believe your sister has the same feeling about not being a boy!”

“Probably. I’m going to go talk to Mom One!”

He got up and left the study and I went to hang out with my wives, Michelle, and Elyse. Jesse came back ten minutes later with a positive response from Jennifer, which I had been reasonably sure was going to be the case. He was happy, which made me happy.

January 26, 1994, Chicago, Illinois

“Steve, Lori Murphy is here to see you,” Lucas said over the intercom.

“I’ll come down and meet her,” I replied.

“Who’s that?” Penny asked.

“A potential nanny for the kids.”

I was starting over, again, because the woman who’d come for the interview at the house hadn’t passed muster with Jesse and Birgit. They simply didn’t like her, and to me, that was sufficient cause to keep looking. I got up and walked to Elyse’s office to let her know that Lori was here. I went down to the reception area, greeted Lori, then brought her up to the ‘Lemieux’ room were Elyse was waiting.

“Lori, this is Elyse, she’s mother to two of my kids; Elyse, Lori Murphy.”

They greeted each other and we sat down, me at the end of the table, with two large posters of Lemieux ‘skating the cup’ behind me.

“I see you’re a hockey fan,” Lori laughed. “But the Penguins?”

“Don’t get him started!” Elyse cautioned.

“They swept the Hawks,” I grinned.

“Don’t remind me!” Lori groused.

“Well, when Bill Wirtz dies or sells the team, then maybe they’ll have another chance at a Cup and I can put up some Hawks stuff. Well, assuming they can beat the Penguins!”

“See?” Elyse laughed. “If you take this job, you’ll need to learn what not to say to Steve pretty quickly!”

“I’ll start keeping a notebook!” Lori laughed.

“You and Pete,” I groused.

“Pete?”

“Never mind!” Elyse said. “I guess my question is, how well do you deal with craziness?”

“I suppose it depends on what you mean.”

“Seven kids, four moms, two wives, and a girlfriend. And the kids, all of them, are precocious!”

“Wait!” Lori gasped. “All the kids are YOURS?”

“Yes,” I said. “It’s not a blended family or cousins, or anything like that. You’ll mostly only have the four youngest, plus some of their friends on occasion. The three oldest are in school and don’t come home until around 4:00pm.”

“Uh, what age ranges?”

“The four range from five to two; the three oldest ones are 8, 7, and 5, or will be soon.”

“And both your wife and ex-wife live with you?”

“I didn’t say ‘ex-wife’,” I grinned. “I said two wives. As in, I’m married to both of them. Not legally, obviously, but the three of us consider ourselves married.”

“There, uh, isn’t any requirement...” she asked nervously, looking down at the table.

“No,” I said firmly. “Absolutely not.”

“What happened to your previous nanny?” Lori asked.

“Abbie? She married a friend of mine who works for a NASCAR team and moved to North Carolina. Our nanny before her, Veronica, married and couldn’t be a live-in nanny, which we needed when the kids were younger. What experience do you have?”

“I’ve been working at a daycare for about eight months. I go to school nights, and work to pay for it.”

“Where do you go to school?” I asked.

“UIC. I’m studying marketing.”

“You’re a Freshman?” Elyse asked.

“Yes.”

“Other than the daycare, have you worked with kids?”

“I was a counselor at our church camp for two summers, and I’ve been babysitting since I was thirteen.”

“You seem a bit uncomfortable with our situation at home,” Elyse said.

“It’s a bit strange,” Lori said.

I laughed, “It’s a LOT strange. It’s often called Cirque du Steve, and one thing it won’t ever be is boring. But one thing is very important, and that is that we have a VERY open communication style, and our kids are treated more like adults than kids.”

“But they’re eight and younger!” Lori protested.

“Would you like to meet four of them?” I asked. “They’re in the daycare co-op here.”

“You have a daycare here? Wow!”

“Considering that all of my executives are female, and so is our Chairman, it makes sense, don’t you think? Not to mention that more than half the staff are female.”

“I’ll go get the kids,” Elyse said.

She got up and left the conference room.

“You’re going to meet Michael, Albert, Stephie, and Ashley. Michael is Elyse’s second son, Albert and Ashley are kids by my legal wife, Doctor Jessica Adams, and Stephie is my wife Kara’s youngest daughter. Jesse, Matthew, and Birgit are in school. Jesse’s mom is my lesbian friend Jennifer, who’s married to Josie. Matthew is Elyse’s oldest son. Birgit is Kara’s eldest daughter.”

“Lesbian? Married?” Lori asked, looking as if her head were going to explode.

“Yes. Not legally, because the government is stupid that way. Just like I can’t legally be married to Kara. I’m telling you this stuff because it’s what you’ll find if you come to work for us. And it’s important for you to know you need to be supportive. With no exceptions. If you can’t do that, this job isn’t for you.”

“You might want to consider putting some of that information in your profile at the agency that sent me here.”

I shook my head, “No. I’d rather talk to the person face-to-face about it. It’s not the same on paper.”

“I wondered why the pay rate was so much higher. I figured it was the seven kids, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Another important thing to understand is that we consider our nanny part of the family. So you’d be invited to family events, including our family dinner on Sunday evenings. You could bring your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“Uh, I’m straight,” she replied.

“Do you have a problem with homosexuals?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t know any.”

Elyse came into the room with the kids who all gave Lori a look that made it clear Elyse had told them why she was bringing them into the conference room.

“I think we’ll leave you five to get acquainted,” I chuckled, standing up.

“Uh, OK,” Lori said, nervously.

“You’ll be fine. Michael, you four need to decide if you would be OK with Lori as your new nanny.”

“OK, Dad!” he said.

I took Elyse’s hand and led her from the conference room, closing the door behind us.

“She looked like a deer in headlights!” Elyse said quietly, as we walked a few paces down the hall away from the door.

“She just got pushed into the deep end. We’ll see if she can swim. I saw a couple of red flags, though.”

“Church camp, I’m sure. What was the other one?”

“Her body language when I told her about Jennifer and Josie.”

“Those two things go together, but are we stereotyping?”

“Stereotypes work because they convey GENERAL truths. It’s when you prejudge someone based on a stereotype that you make a mistake. We all generalize in order to make decisions. The key is not assuming the generalization is correct about every instance.”

“Which is why you brought the kids in. You aren’t jumping to conclusions just because of the red flags.”

“Exactly. I expect either the kids will reject her or she’ll turn us down because she’s not comfortable with the situation. She asked why we didn’t prescreen.”

“Because we don’t want to scare them off!” Elyse laughed. “Do you have another candidate?”

“Yes. Amanda Morgan. We might have a bit more luck with her.”

“Oh?”

“She’s the cousin of one of Trish’s law school friends. And I’m pretty sure Trish filled her in on the craziness.”

“Why not bring her in first?”

“I’d already made the appointment with Lori, and honestly, she sounded good on the phone.”

“Think she’s still alive?” Elyse asked with smirk.

“Jesse and Birgit aren’t in there, so yes. She’s with the four little sweethearts, not the triple-barreled shotgun of Jesse, Matthew, and Birgit!”

“I’m shocked we haven’t had more trouble with school with those three!” Elyse laughed.

“If Principal Monroe was still there, we might,” I replied. “The new principal is WAY more relaxed and cool. She actually went out for drinks with Jennifer and Josie right after she started. They wanted to make sure she understood what she was walking into!”

Elyse laughed, “I hadn’t heard that, but I’m not surprised. Did you hear anything more from Carla?”

I shook my head, “No. Birgit said she eats lunch with Rachel, but she says they don’t talk about me. I can’t imagine what’s going through that little girl’s head right now.”

“How long are we going to leave the kids with Lori?”

“I figure ten minutes,” I said.

“What about the other three?”

“Lori has to come meet the other moms if she passes muster with the little ones. And she has to get past the Gestapo, as well.”

“Did you just compare your three oldest to the German Secret Police?” Elyse laughed.

“If the shoe fits...” I chuckled. “I compared Al Barton to Olin G. Blackwell, the last warden at Alcatraz. That got a good laugh from Ben Jackson!”

“And Jessica has you on an even shorter leash!”

“Let’s not have that argument now, please.”

“Then we’ll have it later!”

“Let’s not have that argument at all, please. I’m master of my own fate. This isn’t HER doing, it’s my doing. Yes, she asked, but I was already there. And that’s the end of it. Got it?”

Elyse smiled smugly, “Yes.”

I laughed, “Reverse psychology, Ms. Clarke?”

“Whatever works. So long as you really are in charge.”

“I am. The problem is, to prove it, I’d have to do something I decided not to do!”

“I suppose. I still reserve the right to point out if she’s controlling you.”

“Elyse, she’s not you. And neither is Kara. I couldn’t handle the amount of freedom you offered.”

She sighed, “I know. And that was, perhaps, the gravest error I made.”

I shook my head, “No. When you asked, Kara and I were on a direct path to the altar. When we met, I was with Jennifer. Then Kara came back. I would likely have asked you to help me rein it in at some point, just like I did in the real timeline.”

“We only have two minutes, but I wonder if you can explain.”

“A combination of things. Wanting to focus on the most important things - family, friends, and business. Samantha’s dad. The entire fiasco with the Lundgren Foundation. Michelle.”

“And you’re OK with this?”

“I basically set the limits after St. Martin, though I didn’t realize Michelle was coming home. That sort of sealed the deal.”

“Senior Wife privilege. Is she any good?”

I chuckled, “Nice. Normally I’d reject that ‘Senior’ status claim, despite it being true. But you’ve read my journals. They’re accurate.”

“You aren’t embellishing?”

“No. Did you read anything in the past month?”

“No. Why?”