Chapter 14: Healing

November 12, 1993, Chicago, Illinois

“I suppose we do need to start somewhere,” I said. “I’m just not sure that’s the right place.”

“But it’s something we can all accept, right now,” Jessica said. “I’ll live here, and promise to talk to both of you each day, and to be honest with you about how I’m feeling and what’s going on at work.”

“It’s not perfect,” I said, “but I’m not sure I have a better solution given everything you said. What do you think, Kara?”

“I think it will be good for the kids, though they’re going to be confused why Jess isn’t sleeping with us.”

“More confused than when they had to visit her in the apartment?” I asked.

“Well, no, obviously not,” Kara said. “What about Michelle?”

“Don’t change anything,” Jessica said. “I can’t promise either of you anything more than I just did.”

“I need one more promise, Jess,” I said.

“What’s that?”

“Counseling. On your own, if you want, but definitely the three of us with Doctor Green.”

Jessica sighed, “I suppose I can do that.”

“It won’t work unless you give it your all, Jessica,” I said. “That’s the one thing that’s always been missing. The only thing you give your all to is being ‘Doctor Jessica’.”

“I don’t know if that’s even possible,” she said. “My entire life has been focused on being ‘Doctor Jessica’ and doing everything I needed to get there, including using the two of you.”

“And yet, here we are,” I said. “I love you Jess. No matter what.”

“And the sleeping arrangements?” Kara asked.

“I don’t think you’re ready for me to come back to your bed,” Jessica said. “And I’m not sure I’m ready, or even if I were ready, if I should.”

Kara frowned, “No, I’m not ready for that.”

“It’s OK, Kara,” Jessica said. “I know I hurt you.”

“You did,” Kara said mournfully. “And Steve. And the kids.”

“Let’s save this for Doctor Green,” I said. “We’ve made progress just in Jess agreeing to come home.”

“What about Michelle? We never really answered that.”

“You two need to decide that,” Jessica said. “I really have no right to interfere at this point.”

“But if we repair things?” I asked.

“I’m not sure that’s possible, at least the way you mean,” Jessica said.

“But you’ll try?” I pleaded.

“Yes, I’ll try,” Jessica agreed.

November 13, 1993, Chicago, Illinois

“Hello Doctor Katsaros; Doctora Vásquez,” I said.

“You don’t do anything halfway, do you?” Sofia said shaking her head, but with a smile on her face.

“No, I suppose not,” I said.

She and Alejandra each gave me a quick kiss, and I shook hands with Stavros and Trent.

“Did Doctor Barton leave a copy of your chart?” Alejandra asked.

“Yes, it’s on my desk. You and your pediatrician friend are welcome to review it, complete with x-rays of my skull fracture.”

“Now there is something I would never have thought possible!” Pete said from behind me.

“If I had a dollar for every person who made that joke, I could pay my medical bills without insurance!” I chuckled.

Melanie came to me and carefully kissed me; just a soft French kiss rather than her usual attempt to take a throat culture with her tongue.

“Any legal problems from the accident?” she asked.

“No. My dad talked with Jamie and Gwen. The police report put the other driver 100% at fault, and his insurance company isn’t fighting us on anything. I have no idea if Jorge’s parents will bring a wrongful death suit, but Jamie and Gwen are positive it can’t successfully include me, or NIKA. The car was in Jessica’s name, on her insurance, and she wasn’t living here. And Jess was following all traffic laws, the BMW was expertly maintained at the dealer, had a full service less than a month ago, and she was stone-cold sober, so there’s nothing.”

“Anyone can sue for anything,” Jamie said, coming up behind us. “But I agree, there’s nothing there. If they were to file a suit, her insurance company might offer a few thousand to make it go away so they didn’t have to defend it, but they might decide to defend it because it’s a slam-dunk win.”

“C’mon, Jamie,” I objected. “You NEVER say that!”

“In this case, I’m confident. Jessica would get the sympathy and the drunk driver would get all the blame. I know I tell you juries are crapshoots, but not in this case.”

“I agree,” Melanie said.

When everyone had gathered in the great room, Jennifer got our attention and the remembrance ceremony began. She stood next to a 12”x15” photo of Jorge, which was surrounded by flowers and candles and had a black band around one corner. She asked Michelle to read the 23rd Psalm, and then Josie, Trish, Henry, Stephanie, Marie Annette, and Cindi all spoke. Abbie said a few words as well, and then it was my turn.

“Jorge was a close friend, confidant, and harsh critic,” I said. “I loved him like a brother, and I’m going to miss him. I want you all to remember him, so Jesse, Matthew, and Birgit will hand out uncirculated nickels in plastic cases to all of you.”

“Why nickels?” Karl asked.

I smiled, “Once, after he had given me particularly good advice, he said ‘5¢ please’ the way Lucy did in Peanuts. I called him ‘Lucy’ from time to time, and gave him 5¢ when he gave me good advice. That was actually quite often.”

It had taken a combined effort by my dad, Ed, Terry, and Jeri to locate enough uncirculated nickels and cases to put them in. They weren’t the usual fare of coin collectors, but I was determined, and my dad and friends had pulled off a near-impossible feat, given the short timeframe they’d had.

I choked up a bit as the image of Jorge, smirking came to mind, saying ‘Thanks for making me rich!’ in his usual irreverent manner.

“Put these somewhere that you’ll see them often,” I said. “Mine will go in my display case in the ‘Indian’ room or in my pocket. Remember Jorge. As the prayer says, ‘Memory Eternal’.”

Dave, Julia, Sofia, Michelle, Tasha, and Jesse sang Memory eternal! three times, as I’d asked them do.

I moved back to my place by Kara and Al Barton. That had been Kara’s condition - that I could do this if Al Barton were here to watch over me. I’d have invited him anyway, so it wasn’t really a concession on my part. But I did find it amusing given that there were five other doctors in attendance - Gina, Sofia, Alejandra, Alicia, and Jessica.

To conclude the service, Michelle read a Roman Catholic prayer she knew Jorge prayed regularly, and then everyone moved to get refreshments. Kara insisted I sit down and there was a continual procession of my friends and employees asking how I was doing and wishing me a speedy recovery.

“Want to sneak on the plane Monday morning?” Samantha asked quietly.

“I do, but you’d instantly become public enemy number one,” I said. “Did Trish get the funeral details?”

“Yes. We had to use a bit of subterfuge because her parents aren’t talking, but between Doctor Barton and Ally’s husband, we got the name of the mortuary in Puerto Rico. A quick call to them confirmed the time of the funeral mass - it’ll be held right there at the mortuary’s chapel.”

“I really appreciate it,” I said. “And I appreciate you getting my dad here right away.”

“I figured this qualified for an exception,” she said.

“You figured right. Thanks again.”

“I’ll leave you to your next guest and go find my sailor!”

She gave me a kiss on the cheek and moved away. About fifteen minutes later, I realized I was exhausted and I apparently wasn’t the only one who noticed. Al Barton came over with Kurt and Dave and instructed them to take me upstairs to lie down. I was too tired to resist and let them walk me to the elevator and then into my room. I simply got into bed and fell asleep.

When I woke up, I saw Michelle sitting on the loveseat.

“Do you want some dinner?” she asked.

“Yes. I was so exhausted I nearly fell asleep coming upstairs.”

“Doctor Barton said that’s normal. Too much exertion isn’t good. Kara is downstairs. Do you need my help?”

“Just walk with me, please.”

Michelle smiled and put her arm around me when I stood up. She walked me to the elevator and we went downstairs to join the family for dinner.

November 14, 1993, Chicago, Illinois

I spent Sunday afternoon on the couch in the great room while my parents spent time with the kids. I half-watched the NASCAR race from Atlanta. The Championship was a foregone conclusion, with Dale Earnhardt easily besting Rusty Wallace by 80 points, despite Wallace winning the race. Bill finished a respectable fourth in the race, but only managed to finish eighth in Championship points.

“The kids really don’t take to your mom at all,” Abbie whispered from her spot next to me on the couch.

“No, they don’t. Birgit has called her ‘mean’ and Jesse thinks she hates everyone. They’re both right.”

“Your dad is the nicest guy I’ve met, well, next to you,” she said.

“And the guy over there in the easy chair?” I chuckled.

“Don’t ask me to explain Jason; I can’t!”

“You’re still surprised by how your life turned out!”

“All because some weird Yuppie showed up at my parents’ bed-and-breakfast four years ago!” she laughed.

“Did you guys find a place yet?”

“We had thought about renting, but it turns out that with our joint savings and Jason’s job, we can easily afford to buy a bungalow in Oak Park near Kathy and Kurt. Jeri talked to Alec Glass about a mortgage for us as well. I’m shocked by the whole thing.”

“I’m not. You saved and invested nearly everything we paid you for the past three years,” I said. “Remember, you asked for my advice and I see your brokerage account statements!”

“We looked at a place yesterday now that they’re done out at Rockford for the season. The same floor plan as Kathy has, but reversed, if you know what I mean.”

“Sure. Three bedrooms? You, Jason, and two kids?”

Abbie laughed, “I must be insane!”

“Did you put in an offer?”

“No. We’re not going to move until closer to the wedding. We’re just getting an idea of prices and locations. I’ll need to buy a car, too, so I can come here during the day and take care of the kids. Is Jessica getting a new car?”

“She got the check from the insurance company, so we’ll probably look for a car for her in a few weeks. She can’t drive until her ankle is healed.”

“How will she get to work?”

“Until I get my cast off, Elyse will drive me to work and we’ll drop Jess at the hospital. I can be flexible with my hours. Once I get the cast off, I’ll take over driving again.”

“When can you go back to work?”

“I’m hoping a week from tomorrow, but that’s up to Kara.”

“She’s turned into a real field marshal!”

“At least I understand where Birgit gets it from!” I chuckled.

Kara and Michelle made the family dinner, and as usual, we were joined by Samantha, Brian, Stephanie, and Ed, as well as my parents. When dinner was finished, Jessica, Kara, and I went to the sunroom and shut the door.

“I wish we could use the sauna,” I said.

“You won’t be able to when you have your cast,” Jessica said. “You can’t get it wet.”

“Six more weeks without a sauna?” I sighed. “I’m going to be even crankier than I thought.”

“Jess, what happens at work?” Kara asked.

“I’ll speak to Doctor Woodford after my checkup tomorrow. I’ll be able to put weight on it with the walking cast in another week or so. It’s a completely stable fracture, so honestly, it’s no worse than a sprain. But I’ll have to limit how much time I spend on my feet. Doctor Woodford and I will revise my rotations. As long as I avoid the ER and surgery, I can manage.”

“Do you have a preferred time to meet with Doctor Green?” I asked.

“Any evening should be fine,” Jessica said. “You can’t go to karate for a few months, right?”

“Sensei Jim was going to talk to Al tomorrow, after I have my evaluation, about an exercise regimen. Walking just isn’t going to cut it for me.”

“How about Wednesday like we used to? If Doctor Green is available.”

“I’ll try for that,” I said. “Are you going to get individual counseling?”

“Doctor Barton and Doctor Woodford both strongly suggested it.”

“I’d like you to do it, Babe. For yourself if for no other reason.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

I handed her one of the uncirculated ‘Lucy Nickels’. She’d locked herself in the ‘Indian’ room during the memorial service, and I felt she should have one.

“Maybe, as a last act, Jorge can encourage you to get some help,” I said. “Can I ask you about what you said about him? The last thing he said?”

Jessica sighed, “Whenever we were together, at least once, he’d implore me to talk to you. We were arguing about that on Sunday night.”

“Arguing?” I asked.

Jessica sighed, “I tried, repeatedly, to get him to go to bed with me. No matter what I said or did, he just repeated your rule and told me I had to work things out with you first. His last words were that he wouldn’t violate the rule to be with me.”

“He was a good man,” I said. “A loyal friend and someone whose advice I trusted.”

“All your friends are like that,” Jessica said. “Because you’re like that. Loyal to a fault.”

“A fault?” I asked. “Because he wouldn’t go to bed with you? Should I sleep with Kathy? Should I have slept with Melanie?”

“Steve,” Kara said gently. “You’re not supposed to get agitated. Take a deep breath.”

I knew Kara wouldn’t brook any debate so I did as she said.

“Sorry, Honey,” I said. “We’ll save this discussion for Doctor Green. Is that OK, Jess?”

“Sure.”

“I think I’ll take Steve up to bed,” Kara said.

Jessica didn’t say anything and Kara led me to the elevator and up to our room. Michelle joined us and after Kara gave me my diazepam and ibuprofen, we got into bed and fell asleep.

November 15, 1993, Chicago, Illinois

“Purple,” I said.

“Purple it is,” the nurse said.

Fifteen minutes later I had a purple cast on my arm, and was walking back to Al Barton’s office to find out the results of the x-rays, CT, and neurological tests. Victoria showed me right in and I saw Doctor Carver and Doctor Johnson, head of orthopedics, waiting for me.

“What’s the prognosis, Al?” I asked.

“That you’ll be a pain in the ass for another fifty or sixty years,” he laughed.

“Tell me something I didn’t know!” I laughed.

“Your wrist is fine; it just needs time to heal. Your laceration closed nicely with the stitches. The skull series and CT showed no issues, and the fracture appears to be healing properly.”

“Which means?”

“We’re OK with you jogging with Doctor Swanson starting a week from today. Do not push yourself, and only run inside. I’ll talk to Doctor Swanson about the limits.”

“And the headgear?”

“You can dispense with that,” Doctor Carver said.

“And work?” I asked.

“Half days starting next Monday,” Al said.

“What about driving?” I asked.

“Well, if you had an automatic, I’d say Monday, but with a stick shift? Not until the cast is off. And remember, no cell phone calls while you’re driving even after the cast is removed.”

“And no typing with your left hand until you see me in two weeks,” Doctor Johnson said.

“Just rest for another week, Steve,” Al said.

“Kara will make sure of it,” I said.

“Abe, Stan, thanks,” Al said.

“Thanks, Doctor Carver, Doctor Johnson,” I said.

I shook hands with both of them and they left, closing the door behind them.

“How’s Jessica?” he asked.

“She’s agreed to live at home,” I said. “Beyond that, I have no idea. She did agree to start seeing Doctor Green again. I called him this morning.”

“I know. He called for an update to your medical records. I assumed you were OK with me using the same release.”

“Absolutely. We’ll see him on Wednesday.”

“It’s a start,” Al said.

“I just wish it hadn’t taken losing another friend,” I sighed.

“How are you doing?”

“I hate to say this, but I’ve learned to deal with it. I’m upset, but I know how to deal with it.”

“That’s four? Or five?”

“Four young people, plus my former mentor. But he had lived a full, happy, successful life.”

“That was a nice memorial on Saturday.”

“I wish I could go to the funeral tomorrow. Saying ‘goodbye’ is important.”

“You know my daughter and grandchildren need you and how important you are to them.”

“I thought we weren’t talking about that,” I said.

“In this instance, I felt it necessary. She needs you and the kids need you. I can’t take any risks.”

“I don’t know that I can help her,” I said.

“You’re wrong. You are the ONLY one who can help her. She knows it. She’s just so damned stubborn. Fortunately, you’re more stubborn than she is.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“Have you ever given up on her?”

“No,” I said.

“And that was in the face of everyone telling you to give up. That’s my point.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you know that,” I said.

“Stick to it, Steve. You know I don’t agree with you on divorce, but your opinion has saved my daughter. She just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I grinned. “Someday we have to tell Albert and Ashley.”

“That can’t happen for a long time, if ever,” he said, but then added, “You’ll know when the time is right.”

“Thanks for trusting me,” I said.

We shook hands and I went downstairs to meet Kara so she could walk me home. That evening, we had a somewhat subdued birthday celebration for Elyse. Eduardo joined us, and he and Elyse went back to his apartment after the cake and ice cream.