Chapter 69: The Times They Keep On Changing

October, 1983, Chicago, Illinois

On Saturday morning when Penny arrived, I thought about what Anala had said. I watched every move and listened to every word and decided that Anala was correct in her assessment of Penny. I realized would need to decide pretty much immediately to put a stop to it, or else I had to be prepared for what was certain to come in the future. It was a tough question in my mind. If Penny asked immediately, I'd say 'no'. If she asked in two years, I'd probably say 'yes'. It was the timing that would make the difference. And that made it easy to make my decision, should my analysis prove correct. I'd just have to try to put Penny off as long as possible. Or, maybe, the crush would fade away and nothing would come of it.

"My stepdad is buying my computer later this morning. Can you come over and help set it up?"

"Probably after dinner. I have a lot of studying and homework to do. Is that OK?"

"Sure. What time?"

"Probably around 7:00pm. It won't take long. You have the TV to hook it up to?"

"He's getting one, along with all the other stuff you said."

"OK. I'll see you tonight. Now run on home because I have to go to karate class."

I met Stephie in the foyer and we started towards the dojo. Once again, she slipped her hand into mine as we walked. I had a good idea what was going on, but I was reluctant to say anything to her. It seemed as if she was having second thoughts about her decision to be with Red, but I suspected that might have as much to do with missing out on the intimacy as anything else. I was afraid to ask, for fear of kicking off a series of events that might well end badly for all of us.

After karate, we walked home and Stephie took my hand once again. I knew I was going to have to take the bull by the horns at some point, but I thought it would be better to wait and see if she said anything more than she had when we were walking to class the day before. Life would get really complicated if she came to me saying that she'd changed her mind. It wasn't so much that I'd moved past our relationship, as much as it was that I didn't think I could provide what she needed in the long run.

The afternoon study session was busy — I worked with my teammates on our graphics project and wrote a short paper for American Government class. Julia helped me with dinner that evening — beef and broccoli stir-fry with jasmine rice. After dinner, Elyse and Eduardo cleaned up, and I asked Jackie to come with me to Penny's house to set up the computer.

It was a good thing I did. It turned out that Bart and Alice were out for the evening and Penny was home alone with her dog Pete. While I had no idea if she'd planned to be alone with me, I was glad that I'd had the forethought to bring Jackie with me. Penny didn't seem disappointed, though, so I wondered if I was misreading things. Her dog, on the other hand, made a total nuisance of himself until she finally banished him from the room. Once we got everything working, Penny gave me a big hug and thanked me, then sat down at her computer. Jackie and I let ourselves out and headed back next door.

"Did you know she was going to be alone?" Jackie asked.

"No," I replied. "I had no idea. But a couple of people advised me to be super careful around her."

"Smart! What's up with you and Charlie?" Jackie asked as we walked up the steps to the house.

"Just having fun," I said. "Nothing serious."

"Good. Mind if I join you tomorrow night?"

"Not at all. You're always welcome in my bed."

She smiled, gave me a quick kiss, then followed me into the house. We went up to the attic room where everyone was hanging out and I went to sit by Charlie and George. I saw Jorge and Cindi together again, his hands on her shoulders, and she winked at me.

"Can we dance?" George asked.

"Sure," I said.

I laughed when she grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the middle of the floor.

"Oh, you meant like you and me, not just in general?" I said.

"Duh!" she laughed.

The song that was playing was moderately fast, and we started dancing. A moment later, we were joined by Jorge and Cindi and all of a sudden we were in the middle of a dancing exhibition. He was good. Really good. And Cindi seemed to be able to follow his lead easily; that, or she'd had some dancing experience.

"Jorge, where'd you learn to dance like that?" I asked.

"I told you that I had taken ballroom dancing!" he grinned, blushing slightly. "A couple of years ago, I went to a competition in New Orleans and won a couple of trophies. But that's in the past. Now Cindi here, she's a natural!"

The next song was slower, and I pulled George closer, my hands on her hips and hers on my shoulders. She was small enough that we didn't touch, but Cindi's breasts were pressed lightly against Jorge's chest. About halfway through the song, George stepped closer and put her arms around me and her head on my chest. I smirked when I saw Cindi do the same thing with Jorge. It was a good thing he was a tall guy with long arms!

When the song finished, Charlie took George's place and we danced to a couple of songs. Other couples danced at various times and I danced with several of the girls, though Cindi and Jorge never changed partners. Eventually, I tired of dancing and poured myself some bourbon and pulled a cushion against the wall to sit on. When I finished my drink, I told Charlie I was ready for bed and we headed to my room.

Charlie was enthusiastic and fun, but after my Thursday with Anala, sex with Charlie was kind of a letdown, at least emotionally. As we fell asleep, I wondered about my feelings and how to deal with them. I didn't think it was something I was going to solve quickly, any more than any of the other issues that I'd encountered over the years. I made a mental note to talk to Anala about it on Thursday and soon fell asleep.

Sunday was a typical day, including my call to Karin, time with Kathy and Kurt and a few others in the morning, and our afternoon philosophy discussion. I was somewhat distracted by all the things that were running through my mind and mostly listened, rather than participated. For dinner, I made pizza for my housemates, and then went to the Indian room to relax and read. About twenty minutes later, Cindi came into the room.

"Got a minute?" she asked.

"It would take WAY more than a minute!" I smirked.

"It better, or you're a dead man, Steve Adams!" she said with a laugh.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Just wondering about Jorge. He's a really nice guy, but I'm getting mixed signals."

"He's nervous, that's all. You are pretty intimidating! Find a way to get him to relax. You certainly seem to like his shoulder and neck rubs, and you guys looked great on the dance floor."

"After you went to bed, most everyone else left, and we ended up making out a bit. I wanted to take him someplace private, but I'm sharing a room with Jackie and your friend George was in the guest room."

"That is a complication. Are you suggesting I have George sleep with me and Charlie?" I grinned.

"You'd have lots of fun, for sure, but most girls won't go for that kind of thing."

"I teased George about it and she made it clear that's not her thing," I said. "Why don't you invite Jorge over during the week? I'm pretty sure that Jackie won't mind sleeping with me. She actually asked me about tonight."

"Hmm. I wish I'd known that before Jorge left to go back to IIT. Maybe next Sunday?"

"Check with Jackie. I'll make sure my dance card is open for her!"

"I'll owe you!" she smirked.

"I'm already going to get it all! What more could you give me?"

"True!" she smiled.

She got up, kissed me on the cheek, and left the room. I opened my book to read and maybe a minute later, Stephie came in, shutting the door behind her.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"Sure, Stephie. Any time."

She sat down in one of the basket chairs right next to me. I closed my book and put it on the floor, and turned to face her. Stephie took a deep breath, then let it out slowly.

"I think I might have made a mistake," she said. "I miss being with you, Steve. I miss you holding me in your arms. I miss sleeping with you. I missed being your main girl."

Just as I had suspected, but the question was why. In fact, that was the most important question.

"What happened?" I asked. "Did something change between you and Jason?"

"No, not at all. I've just been thinking a lot."

"Tell me what you're thinking about, Stephie."

"I guess I didn't think through how it would be if I wasn't with you. I only get to see Red on breaks, you know, Thanksgiving and Christmas, then over the Summer."

"But you still want to be with him? He's still the one you want?"

"I don't know what I want anymore!" she said, sighing deeply.

It struck me that we were rehashing what had happened with her and Daryl. She was away from him and with me. Now she was away from Red, and with me. The situations were eerily similar. She'd gone back and forth then and finally broken up with him to be with me. Now she was struggling with the same situation, though instead of me being with Kara, it was Jennifer who was on the horizon, though a couple of years down the road.

"This reminds me of the situation with Daryl first semester of our Freshman year. It's not totally the same, but close enough. Red is in Georgia and I'm here, and you're trying to decide what to do about it."

"I suppose. I just miss what we had, Yankee," she said, using my nickname, and conveying a novel's worth of information with a single word.

"Me too, but what can we do about that now? You told Red you'd go with him."

"Not quite. I told him that I'd go out with him when I came home. That's all."

"But that's not what you decided in your heart. And I bet that's not what he heard you say, either. I bet you anything that he thinks that you and I broke up and that you and he are a couple. And that you'll be a couple in every way when you come home."

She sighed again, "You're right, of course."

"That creates a big problem, you realize. It means you're committed to him, even if you didn't think you were."

"Well, shit," she said, sighing deeply. "You're right. It's Daryl all over again. Maybe I'm just not cut out for a long distance relationship."

"Then you pretty much have two options as I see it, Peaches," I said, using her nickname deliberately, "transfer to Georgia Tech next semester and finish there, or you're going to have to tell him you can't handle the long distance."

"I want to ask you something, and I don't want you to get upset," she said.

"I promise."

"How the fuck can you be so God-damned calm and logical?!" she growled, then took a deep breath. "And why can't there be a third option that involves me and your bed?"

"That's two questions, neither of which upset me. For the first one, I just looked at the possible options and told you what they were. For the second, I eliminated the option about which I have a firm rule. I have to have that firm rule because the amount of trouble I'd get into without it is basically limitless. Pete would kill me and I'd cause at least one divorce. I have to keep that rule for my own sake."

She nodded, "I knew that before I asked. You made that point to me back Freshman year. I don't like the other options."

"I hear you, but those are your options, unless you've got another one that doesn't involve being in my bed while you're with Red."

"Not really. Even the second option, which is to tell him I'm not interested; I can't do that. Which divorce, by the way?"

"Melanie's mom, of course!" I smirked. "I don't usually go for older women, but in her case, the only thing stopping us is my refusal to break my rule."

"Holy shit! She'd go to bed with you?"

"In a heartbeat. I wouldn't have to ask twice. And that's why my rule is so important."

"Then I guess I'm going to look at transferring to Georgia Tech. Will you come see me if I do?"

"I wouldn't miss a Talladega race for anything. And let me know if you need any help, Peaches. Of any kind."

"Well, I got this itch..." she smirked.

"OK," I laughed. "Not THAT kind of help, but anything I can provide."

"You are the best, Steve. Can I have a hug?"

"Absolutely!" I said, standing up.

She melted into my arms and I held her for several minutes. She gave me a quick kiss and stepped back.

"Thanks. I'm going to call Red and tell him."

"Good for you, Peaches. I'll miss you a lot."

"I'll miss you too, Yankee."

I hugged her again, and this time, we exchanged a soft kiss. She smiled and left the room. I gave up on the book and went to find Jackie. She was sitting with Cindi, Julia, and Elyse, and I said I was going upstairs. The girls said goodnight and Jackie nodded, indicating that she'd be up when they were done talking. I went upstairs and decided to write in my journal until she came up.

"Hey," Jackie said when she came to the door.

"Hey, just finishing up. Come on in," I said.

I typed one more sentence, saved my journal entries, and shut down the computer.

"Writing in your journal?"

"It's been a heck of a week," I said.

"Obviously you want to talk, but do you want to fool around first?"

"How about a bath first? We can talk there, and then we can fool around. OK?"

"That will work!" she smiled.

I started the tap and added some bubble bath. We quickly stripped off our clothes and got into the tub. I pulled Jackie back to me, put my arms around her, and she snuggled close.

"So, what's going on?" Jackie asked.

"I need your confidence," I said. "I've never known you to say anything, but it's important for me to ask."

"Of course! You know I'll keep your confidence, but I have to say you asking sounds ominous."

"Not really, just private. First of all, Stephie's going to try to transfer to Georgia Tech for next semester."

"Her guy back home?"

"She's struggling with being away from him and close to me."

"Ah, now I understand why she's been out of sorts for a couple of weeks. How are you doing?"

"I'm OK. In fact, I suggested she think about transferring now. I'm not sure that it's possible, but she was basically trying to find a way back into my bed, at least temporarily, and that would have been a disaster."

"I can imagine. What else?"

"I'm wondering if I made a mistake getting involved with Charlie."

"If you think you did, you probably did. But tell me why."