Chapter 63: A Helping Hand, Part I

September, 1983, Chicago, Illinois

When I arrived home, Stephie and Elyse greeted me with hugs, and then I went straight up to my room. I saw that my answering machine was blinking, but I had two important calls to make before checking my messages. First, I called Tanya to let her know that I'd arrived home safely, then pressed the switchhook and dialed my second call.

"Hi, Anala!" I said when she answered the phone.

"Hi, Steve! When can I see you again?" she asked.

"I should be free on Thursday afternoon. I have to check to see if I have any tutoring requests, but if I do, they should be in the morning."

"I'm free Thursday afternoon as well. I'm impressed, by the way."

"About what?" I asked.

"Your understanding of silence. There was literally nothing that needed to be said, so you said nothing. And yet, we communicated. When I see you, we have much to talk about!"

"See you Thursday afternoon about 1:00pm," I said.

We hung up, and I pressed the play button on my answering machine.

A beep indicated a new message. This one was in Swedish.

Another beep.

A double-beep indicated that was the last message, so I hit the erase button. It was early enough to call my sister in Ohio, so I dialed her number. She answered on the first ring.

"That was fast, Squirt!" I said.

"Just be glad I never say that to you, Big Brother!" she giggled.

"Ha ha! How was the first week of school?"

"Pretty good. It's a typical Junior year — Chemistry, Pre-Calculus, American History, English, and French."

"Have you been seeing anyone?"

"Nobody regular. Zach went off to college, but you know we were never serious. Last Friday, a bunch of us went bowling. It's just cool to hang out together. By the way, Ruth said to say hello. She's still dating Roger. And Sandy is back in school. I talked to her a bit, and she's doing OK. Her dad is a prick, but otherwise, things seem fine."

"That Kent van der Meer is a prick is not exactly a revelation! But I'm glad both of them are doing OK. Things here are going pretty well. Getting into the swing of school, of course. And Bethany's coming to visit this weekend."

"Cool. How was Tatyana?"

"Good. We pretty much agreed that at this point there isn't a reasonable way forward for us, given our goals. But we'll keep seeing each other until she heads back to Russia for her diplomatic school."

"Another girl who just can't get enough of my brother! Speaking of which, how's Jennifer?"

I detected a bit of glee in her voice, though she'd tried to hide it.

"You tell me! It sounds like you already know what I was going to tell you."

She laughed, "Of course I do! You know I talk to her pretty much every week. No surprise, but Mom bitched about the phone bill. Thankfully, Dad told her it was fine. I'd pay for it, but because I do volunteer work, I really can't. But Dad promised that as long as I was volunteering at Stepping Stones, he'd make sure I had all the money I needed."

"That sounds like Dad. As for Jennifer, one step at a time, Squirt. We're working on it. I talked to Bethany about it, and of course Stephie knows, but she and her buddy Jason are going to be together, so there are no issues there. And I told you about Tanya. So it's just the Swedish girls that I have to deal with, really."

"Well, and your girls there in Chicago!" she giggled.

"None of them are serious that way, Squirt. There's Anala and Elyse, who both are fully aware of the situation with Jennifer. And I've told you their feelings. I'm doing my best to get things to line up, Squirt. And you know that Jennifer has no problem with me being with as many girls as I want, as long as I talk to her about it."

"True. She never had a problem, except with Becky."

"And that's done. I told her I wasn't going to have lunch with her regularly anymore and that there was zero chance of us getting together. She has a new job and I won't be using her for computer stuff anymore."

"Excellent! So you've finally put out that flame?"

"I think so. I'm not dumb enough to let my guard down in that area."

And that wasn't quite true. I'd had a real struggle on the drive back from Iowa, but I'd conquered that and then taken the steps to move her out of my life.

"Good. Things seem to be coming together for you, Big Brother."

"Yes. And you know what happens then!" I sighed.

"Steve! Stop it! That fatalistic thinking is only going to cause problems! Was what happened with Stephie REALLY bad? Or was it just emotional?"

I considered what she said, and she was right. As usual.

"Just emotional. It worked out for the best, really, I think."

"There you go!"

We talked for a few more minutes and then I called Katt to let her know that I'd be in Milwaukee as much as I was able, but probably only on Saturday and Sunday. Those were the most important days, so she was happy. I told her I looked forward to seeing her and after goodbyes, we hung up. I needed to make one more call before doing my homework.

"Hi, Jen," I said when she answered the phone.

"Hi! How was Washington?"

"Good. A cute fifteen-year-old Russian girl flirted with me!" I chuckled.

"You're incorrigible! Was she fun?" she giggled.

"Right," I laughed. "The daughter of a KGB Colonel? Just how dumb do you think I am?"

"Well..." she said, leaving her response hanging, but I thought I detected a stifled giggle.

"Sometimes, yeah. Anyway, Tanya and I pretty much agreed that we'll most likely end up being lovers for a few more years, but that because of all the circumstances, there really isn't a future for us. That's pretty much what we've known since the beginning, though honestly, we both hoped it could be different. But that was also before you and I managed to reconcile to the point we're at now."

"And what point is that?" she asked brightly.

"Jen, I love you. That's the whole point, isn't it?"

"It is. And I love you. We can make this work, Steve. I feel it. It's less than two years and we'll see each other and talk in the meantime. Just keep loving me and it will all work out."

"I promise I'll always love you."

"I know you will!" she giggled.

"Cute, Jen. How's Josie?"

"Cuddly! That's more or less all we've done so far. Well, she kisses nicely, too. I think you'll like her. She's nothing like Jocelyn, trust me. First of all, Josie likes guys, too, and second, she voted for Reagan!"

I chuckled, "That would certainly be incompatible with that Dworkin woman you told me about!"

"It's funny; we're both kind of girly-girls. And our history is somewhat similar. The difference is that she's really bisexual but I'm pretty much lesbian except for you, for some unknown reason."

"We can't control who were attracted to, Jennifer. If you asked me to explain why I'm attracted to a certain type of girl, I couldn't tell you. I can tell you WHO I'm attracted to, but not why. So don't try to figure it out. It'll just drive you nuts! My sister is the opposite — she's about as heterosexual as they come, but she's attracted to you. I'm not even going to try to explain it."

"That does make sense. And neither you nor I are jealous. If we were, this could never work. I simply don't see either of us being purely monogamous in the future. Do you?"

"The more I think about it, the more I suspect that's right. But I want to ask you something, just out of curiosity. If I asked you to marry me, and to commit to only being with me, period. Would you do it?"

"Would YOU?" she asked.

"Touché. If we made that commitment, yes. I'm still debating this whole thing in my mind. I'm just curious if you'd consider that or not."

"Steve, if being with you meant never being with another girl in my entire life, I'd do it. But I don't think it's going to come to that."

"Well, we have a lot of time to talk about it and to work things out. Did you make your reservations?"

"I did! December 26th through January 2nd. I arrive late afternoon on the 26th and leave mid-morning on the 2nd. That's what we discussed, so I assume it's still OK."

"Absolutely!" I said.

We talked for a few more minutes, then hung up and I grabbed my books and went to the Indian room to do my homework. I read all my assigned chapters and around 11:30pm I went up to bed. As I lay falling asleep, I wondered who I'd ask to go see Katt and Mikael. Bethany, for sure, but then I had two more tickets. I decided to ask at dinner and see if anyone was interested.

On Tuesday after my morning class, I went to Doctor Bauer's office. He wasn't there, but his secretary gave me the names of two students — Charlie Johnson and George Arietta. The secretary told me that Doctor Bauer had simply told them to show up on Thursday at 9:00am in the computer lab, and that I'd call them if there was an issue. I took the sheet of paper with their names and phone numbers and stuffed it into the tutoring folder in my bag.

Tuesday night at dinner I offered the ice skating tickets and Elyse immediately snapped one up saying that she'd love to go. There wasn't an immediate taker for the other ticket, but it seemed like at least one of the other girls might be interested, and I told Elyse that if she wanted to bring Eduardo, she could. After dinner, I called Bethany to confirm that she would be interested, and she said that she would, and asked about the meeting with Carla. I had completely forgotten about that and told her that I'd invite Carla for dinner on Friday. After I hung up with Bethany, I called Carla and invited her for dinner with Bethany and me, and she accepted.

On Wednesday morning, after another frustrating American Government class, Jorge pulled me aside to talk. He confided that he was really struggling with his classes and needed help, especially with calculus, but also chemistry and computers. I offered help with computers, but suggested he ask Stephie for help with calculus and chemistry because she was far better at both of those than I was, especially given those classes were two years ago for me.

"I could never ask her!" he whispered.

"Why not? She's totally cool."

"I have trouble talking to girls! It seems easy for you, but not for me! I get nervous just thinking about it!"

"How about I ask her for you? You just stand next to me and nod. Can you do that?" I grinned.

"Yes," he said, but not convincingly, but followed me to catch up to Stephie.

"Stephie, our friend here needs some help with calculus and maybe a bit of chemistry. He asked me about some help with his computer class and I said 'yes'. Think you could help him?"

"Of course! Why didn't you just say so, Jorge?" she asked, flashing her usual smile.

Jorge just looked down. I gently nudged him with my shoulder, and he looked up.

"You'll really help?" he asked, his nerves clearly trying to get the best of him.

"Of course! Steve, any problem with him coming on Saturdays?"

"Nope. Jorge, Stephie is right. Why don't you plan to come to my house on Saturday? We spend the day studying. You can show up any time after around 10:00am and stay as long as you like. Lunch and dinner are on me. There's a good group of kids besides me and Stephie. There's a bunch of computer science majors; some architecture majors; an electrical engineering major; someone who's going to be a teacher; a biochemistry major; a business major; and an economics major. This weekend, one of my friends from back in Ohio will be there — she's a psych major. I suspect you can get help with just about any class you need!"

"Wow. Where's your house?"

"Right by 49th and Woodlawn. You can take the El to Hyde Park and walk, if that works for you. Otherwise, you can talk to my friend Dave Kallas at Sigma Phi Epsilon and probably get a ride. I can introduce you."

"Uh, I guess. Are you sure?"

"Jorge, get used to Steve," Stephie said. "He's the most inviting, friendly, and generous guy I know. If he's asking, it means he wants you to be there! So, come on Saturday and we'll help you solve your math and chemistry problems."

"Uhm, OK, I guess," he said, not sounding convinced.

I gave him the address and told him to tell me on Friday if he wanted to catch a ride with Dave or if he was going to take the El. We asked him to join us for lunch, but he was going to the cafeteria, so we headed for The Bog. Julia had started eating with Dave, so it was just Stephie and me.

"Man, he looked like he wanted to crawl in a hole and die!" Stephie said. "He was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs!"

I chuckled, "I can always count on you for some kind of funny saying! I've never heard that one before."

"Where the heck did you grow up, ya' dumb Yankee?" she teased. "And that wasn't me calling you a pet name, just referring to your parentage! Let me guess, you never heard anyone say 'busier than a one-armed paper hanger', either? Or 'busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kickin' contest'?"

"Uh, no. My friends and I used words like zugzwang!" I grinned.

"Like zug-what?"

"Zugzwang. It's a German word used in chess when you are forced by position and the rules to make a bad move."

"You are still the strangest guy I know, Steve!" she smirked.

"Thank you!" I replied with a grin.

That evening at dinner, I let everyone know that we'd probably have a new guy showing up on Saturday. Because I wouldn't see Dave before Saturday, I asked Julia to let him know that he might need to give Jorge a ride. She promised to tell him when she called him later.