Chapter 46: True Confessions

July, 1983, Chicago, Illinois

"Thank you!" Becky said, throwing her arms around me and hugging me. "Thank you!" she repeated.

I kept my arms to my side and waited for her to let go. She finally did, stepping back as she said she was going out to her car to get her bag. I let her know that I needed to make a phone call and suggested she relax in the great room until I was done. I went to my study and shut the door. I saw the answering machine flashing and played the messages.

The first one was from Gerald Brown thanking me for everything and letting me know that some of the pictures were going to run in a remodeling magazine in October. There was no need to call him, but he'd also given my name for references to two potential customers.

The second one was from Carla asking me to call her when I had a chance. I rolled my eyes because I'd received so many conflicting signals from that girl who I wasn't sure what to do. I made a note to call her when I returned home from Georgia.

The third message was from Jackie asking if it was OK to move in early.

I quickly called Jackie and let her know it was OK, and she said she would most likely move in on August 6th or 7th. I asked why and she said she wanted to get settled before school started. I let her know I'd see her then and as she had a key, just to come whenever she wanted. After hanging up with Jackie, I dialed Jennifer's number.

"How was Vancouver?" I asked after we greeted each other.

"Great! How was Milford?"

"The same as usual."

"And Tatyana?"

"We had a good time. Stephanie hosted a dinner party so my friends could meet Tatyana. Everyone was pretty well behaved, too. I had a huge fight with Joyce, though."

"What happened?"

I related the whole sordid tale for Jennifer, leaving nothing out, including Bethany pushing me to mend the rift as quickly as possible, and the talk with Joyce afterwards.

"How is Kara?" she asked.

"Physically, she's OK. Emotionally? That's a different story. She is planning on going back to work, though. I figure I'll call tomorrow night, given I'm leaving on Thursday for Georgia. By the way, Kathy and Kurt are engaged. They're getting married in June of '85."

"Cool! Do you know where?"

"No. I'd bet on Milford. Isn't that traditional? The bride's city?"

"Yes, given the bride's parents usually pay. Speaking of weddings, are Pete and Melanie still planning on getting married next Summer?"

"Right after graduation. Are you still the Maid of Honor?"

"Melanie hasn't said anything different, so I assume so. And you're the Best Man. Do you remember our agreement?" she said, keeping a playful voice.

"I do. If it doesn't happen before then, I will keep my promise to you that we'll fuck each other silly the night before the wedding."

"Good!" she giggled. "But I hope we don't wait that long."

"One step at a time, Jen. We have to trust each other much more before we move too far forward."

"I know," she sighed. "After I more or less betrayed you three times, I can understand."

"It wasn't just you. It was me, too. I'm learning a lot about myself and others. The more deep conversations I have with Anala, the more I understand what's going on."

"Are you two eventually going to screw?" Jennifer asked.

"There's a good possibility," I chuckled.

"And what's her take on you and multiple girls?"

"That it's up to me to decide what to do and then she'll have to decide for herself. She's pretty damned practical, not to mention very, very deep in a philosophical sense. It doesn't hurt that she's drop-dead gorgeous, either."

Jennifer laughed, "Which of your girls aren't?"

"I do seem to attract pretty girls," I said. "Speaking of which, I want to talk to you about Carie."

"Carie?"

I explained the situation and how I felt, and the comparison that I'd made to Kellie.

"That fits the new Steve Adams. You don't see sex as just a thing to do to get your rocks off. It's always had some meaning for you beyond that, now it's even more so, to the point where just fucking to fuck isn't appealing to you. But you're not swearing off new girls totally, are you?"

"I don't know. Probably not, I mean, there are always possibilities, but there has to be more than just 'wham, bam, thank you Ma'am' for me at this point."

"Again, that fits. There will be plenty of opportunities. Just be selective. You always were, but be even more selective now."

"You always give me good advice, Jennifer," I said. "Thanks."

We spoke for a few more minutes and I promised to call her after I got back from Georgia right before we hung up.

The phone rang almost as soon as I had put the handset in the cradle. It was Joyce, and she was very obviously upset.

"What did you say to my grandfather?" she asked sharply.

"The truth," I replied. "He asked what had happened between us. I won't ever lie to Don Joseph. Ever."

"He called me last night and insisted that I come to his house today. He reamed me, and good. He's really pissed at me! You shouldn't have said anything!"

"In response to a direct question from him? He's my «padrone». What did you expect me to do?"

She sighed, "Well, I'm on his shit list now, that's for sure."

I didn't say it, but I thought 'better her than me'!

"You're his favorite grandkid. How long can he stay mad over something like this?"

"A long time. He said I dishonored the family," she said softly, and I could tell she was starting to cry.

He was right, even though he didn't know the actual details of what Joyce had done.

"Then do your best to be the dutiful granddaughter and get back in his good graces. He reprimanded me, too, for something I did in Chicago. He basically chalked it up to being a boy. Go apologize to him for what you did and tell him you won't do it again. I'm sure you know the drill."

"I do. You're right. I'm in line to take over all his legitimate businesses someday, so I'd be foolish not to take your advice."

"Good. Go do that and let's put this whole thing behind us."

"I will. Thanks, Steve," she said.

"You're welcome, Joyce. I'll talk to you soon, OK?"

"Yes. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone, took a minute to gather my thoughts, and then went to find Becky.

"I hope you don't mind that I put some clothes in the washer. I didn't have anything clean for tomorrow."

"That's fine. Sorry it took so long. I received a second call while I was in my study, and I had to check my messages and make one quick call for that, too."

"It's OK. I just walked around, checking out all the rooms on this floor. I was thinking, you might want to get an alarm system. Daddy has one for our house."

"The house isn't going to be empty that much. With seven of us living here, though, I suppose it might make sense. I'll check into it."

"What's with the room with the pillows and statues and stuff?" she asked.

"I have a close friend who's into Eastern philosophy. She and I hang out occasionally, and that's the way she decorates her apartment. For me, based on the stuff we talk about, it makes sense to have a room like that. It's super comfortable and a nice change from regular furniture. In my apartment we had these awesome bay windows you could sit in and I had throw pillows in those."

"Interesting. So what do you talk about?"

"Philosophy, as I said. Really deep stuff like truly knowing yourself, truly knowing other people, learning about real intimacy, as opposed to superficial intimacy."

"What's the difference?" she asked, puzzled.

"Well, the superficial kind is just sort of the Western one — it means sex or romance. What Anala, that's her name, means by it is really, truly knowing yourself and the other person. Sex isn't even a part of it."

"Interesting. So like spending time together and talking a lot, kind of like we did at first?"

"Something like that, yes," I answered.

With that last comment, I thought it was time to steer the conversation away from any hint of talking, 'like we did at first!'

"Was there something specific you wanted to do?"

She giggled, "You do NOT want to ask me that question!"

"Uhm, good point. So, within the limits I've set, is there anything you want to do?"

"You know, I've never taken a sauna with you. I know you like them. Could we?"

If I had thought letting her stay in the house was dangerous, she was basically asking me to put my head in the lion's mouth.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Becky," I said.

"Even if I promise absolutely that I won't try anything at all? I mean it, Steve. I know where you are right now."

The problem for me was, seeing her naked might well stir up desires I wouldn't be able to control. She'd manipulated me in the past and I was afraid that she'd do it again. I still didn't really trust her. Did I trust myself? At this point, I thought I did.

"OK. But seriously Becky, even a hint or a tease and I'll make you go home tonight."

"OK," she said softly. "I promise."

We went to the basement, and I turned on the sauna. We both slowly undressed and I saw Becky looking at me out of the corner of her eye while keeping her face towards the linen closet where we put our things. When we were naked, we each grabbed a towel and went into the sauna. I put water on the stones, then set my towel, so that there was about two feet of empty bench between us.

"I don't bi..." she started to say, quickly cutting off her comment. "Sorry."

"One close call, Becky. No more," I said.

She nodded, and we both relaxed. I stole some glances at her small, firm body, and memories of our first time together quickly overwhelmed me. She'd filled out a bit since then, but she was still very small. She was as cute as she'd ever been and I suspected that her charms were as wonderful as they had been that first time, and every time after that. I tried unsuccessfully to push those memories from my mind, but they were completely in control. I willed myself not to have an erection and just barely succeeded.

"This is really nice. Is that a whirlpool tub?" she asked.

"Yes. I wanted to do this right because I'm likely to live here for quite some time. I could even see staying here for a good portion of my life if things work out with jobs here in Chicago. What about you?"

"I start student teaching in September. I'm assigned to a Junior High out in the western suburbs."

"You're still a history major?"

"Yes, but I prefer to teach social studies in middle school or Junior High. That way you're covering different material. I'm not sure where I'll end up teaching, though. Obviously, I can stay in Illinois, because I'll get my teaching license, but I can transfer it to Ohio, too. I haven't decided. What's your plan?"

"Computers, but I'm not sure if I'll work for myself or a company. We'll have to see."

"How's your sister doing?"

"Just fine. She's enjoying High School and getting decent grades. She's not a straight-A student, but she's super smart. She's planning on going to the University of Chicago and getting a degree in business."

"Maybe she could help you run your company?" Becky said.

"Maybe. She'll start school just after I graduate, and she'll be living here. UofC is just a south of here."

"Who else will be living here?"

"Stephie, who I've told you about, plus Elyse, who was my roommate when I first moved to Chicago, and my friends Katy, Jackie, Julia, and Cindi."

"All girls? Why am I not surprised?" she laughed, shaking her head.

"I do have male friends! Eduardo lives on campus at UofC, Dave is a Sig Ep at IIT, and Kurt is at Northwestern with Kathy. My friend Pete is moving to the area in late October and his fiancée, Melanie, will move here next Summer when they get married. Josh Richards is at OSU, so he's kind of far away, and then there's Larry. And Mike from Theta Xi, whom you know."

"What ever happened with Jennifer?"

"She's at Stanford. Her family moved to Seattle right after I came back from Sweden and then she decided to go to school in California. We talk to each other and we've seen each other a few times, but we're just really good friends."

"And your friend Bethany?"

"She's at UW Madison. I see her a few times each semester and sometimes in Milford. She's still my best friend in the world. Speaking of friends, how's Rosie?"

"She's much better. She finally pledged as a little sister right before school ended. She'll be a full little sister as soon as she goes through the ceremony at Theta Xi in September."

"Sleeping with all the brothers?" I teased.

"You know that can't be true because I'm a full little sister and nobody has done more than kiss me since you and I broke up."

"I was just teasing. It's the silly rumor that runs around campus that the initiation ritual for little sisters is sleeping with every brother in the house."

Becky laughed, "Oh, there are a couple of those, but it's their choice. Mostly they don't get them all because usually one or two guys are totally dedicated to their girlfriends, but one of the girls managed it last year. All 35! But not the pledges, of course."

"Jesus. That's close to my level of craziness!"

"Oh, she's crazy alright. She managed because she'll do anything at all, and some of the guys just can't resist certain offers."

I knew exactly what she was getting at and it didn't surprise me in the least.

I chuckled, "I bet."

We'd been in the sauna about twenty-five minutes and it was time to get out. I felt like using the whirlpool, but I had to make sure Becky understood the limits.

"Becky, I want to use the whirlpool, and you can join me, but you have to sit at the opposite end," I said.

"I promise I'll behave. You've been super nice, and I don't want you to make me go home tonight."

I turned on the tap and adjusted the temperature of the water, then adjusted the thermostat for the sauna down. When the tub was full, I shut off the water, and we got in, careful to place our legs so that we weren't touching. I turned on the water jets, and we were surrounded by swirling water. I was a bit uncomfortable and finally I allowed my leg and foot to touch her leg and hip. She smiled, but didn't move or press against me, so I let it go. I figured saying something would create a bigger issue.

"I could get used to living like this!" Becky said.

"It is nice. The sauna always helps me relax, and the tub is just a nice extra benefit."

"Can I ask you a question without getting into trouble?"

"Sure," I said with a smile.

"Have you ever fooled around in a sauna?"

"Yes, I have. And in a Jacuzzi, too," I grinned.

"This sauna?"

"I had to christen it, so to speak! With Stephie, naturally."

She nodded and didn't say anything. I could see in her eyes that she badly wanted to ask me, but she wanted to stay even more and wasn't going to risk it. I was happy to see her exercising self-control, which helped me exercise my own. The contact between our bodies, even the tiny bit of legs, required an exercise in willpower. Becky still held an attraction for me, and not just because she was a naked girl in my tub.