Chapter 42: Stranger Things Have Happened

July, 1983, Milford, Ohio

I walked out the door of the house to my car, leaned against it, and put my head on my arms. I took several deep breaths, trying to regain my composure. I wasn't sure, but it seemed like five minutes or so, and then I felt a soft hand on my shoulder.

"Not now, Bethany. I'm still trying to control my emotions," I said without looking up.

"Steve, it's Connie. What's going on?"

"Sorry. I figured it was Bethany," I said.

"She's inside with Joyce. They went into my dad's den and closed the door. It sounds like they're having a huge argument. I came out to see if you were OK."

"I'm OK, more or less. I guess the easiest thing to say is that I'm very upset with your sister right now. Let's leave it at that."

"Why don't you come back inside? There's coffee made and you can relax. If you want to be alone, I can go up to my room."

"Coffee sounds good, and you don't have to go to your room. But I guess that at some point I'm going to have to talk to your sister," I sighed.

"Whatever it is, you two have been friends since forever, so you should try to fix it."

I sighed and followed her back into the house. We went to the kitchen, where she handed me a cup of coffee and I declined the cream and sugar she offered. I could hear the muffled argument coming from the den, but tuned it out.

"How have you been, Steve?" Connie asked.

"Good, for the most part. Did Joyce tell you I bought a house in Chicago?"

"No! Really?"

"Yeah, back in the Spring. Well, my dad and I bought it together. It's pretty nice, actually."

"That's cool. Did Joyce tell you where I was going to college?"

"No," I smiled, "Joyce doesn't talk much about you."

"She's still treating me like I'm a spoiled brat like I was when I was fourteen and fifteen. I'm going to Purdue and studying accounting. I want to work for one of Grandfather's companies when I graduate."

"I drive by Purdue every time I come to Milford," I said. "Far enough to be away from home, but not too far."

"Exactly. My parents can't watch my every move, but I can come home when I need to."

"Connie, I have to say, you've turned into a sweet, beautiful young woman. I'm glad. And I'm glad you put those crazy ideas in the past."

She giggled, "Oh, they aren't in the past. I just learned to not say every single thing that came into my head. I'm still attracted to you; I'm just not going to be a stupid bitch about it like I was. If I'd been smarter, I could probably have gotten what I wanted."

Despite the current circumstances, I smiled, "It's water under the bridge. I'm not available, but I will say that you might well be right. But that's all in the past."

"If you find yourself available, just call. I think we could have some serious fun together, and who knows where it might lead."

We heard the door to the den open and Bethany came out. She saw us in the kitchen and asked Connie if she could talk to me privately. Connie immediately agreed and went upstairs. I was happy to hear her door shut. She was indeed a different person. But right now, that was beside the point.

"Are you calmed down enough to talk to Joyce?" Bethany asked.

"I really don't want to," I said. "I said what I needed to say."

"Yes, you did. And I just spent twenty minutes arguing with her. She's pretty stubborn, but I think you knew that."

"Yes, I saw that when we had the first fight over what happened with Kara. I think Joyce still refuses to acknowledge that what she did to Kara is tantamount to rape."

"On that, I think you'll find she's changed her mind. I have experience and can be very persuasive on that issue."

"You convinced me about that with Annie."

"Yep. There are people who say that a husband can't rape a wife. Do you believe that?"

"Hell no! 'No' means 'no' even if you're married. The gray area comes when there is submission without clear consent."

"Exactly. Sometimes consent is implied, but you better be damn sure. I know that's an unpopular idea to demand positive consent, but I believe it and I'm going to keep that position until the day I die."

"Even though I don't agree with you completely on this, it certainly has made me think about how I approach sex with new girls."

"Then I've been successful. Now, about Joyce. She's in there sobbing at the moment. She didn't want to see you until she composed herself. Will you talk to her?"

"To what end? Her betrayal was complete. What if Kara was still in the hospital, sedated, and being fed through some tube or something? What if she never snapped out of that curled-up-in-a-ball sobbing reaction? What if she'd decided to take a bottle of sleeping pills?"

"But none of those things happened, Steve," Bethany said gently. "Maybe, just maybe, Kara is stronger than you think. She's just super fragile now and is trying to find security. That bear you gave her is some kind of totem and seems to give her some strength."

"It's an icon, like in Dave's church. According to what I read, the icon manifests the reality behind it, such that reverence to the icon is direct reverence to the thing depicted. Kind of like a baby kissing a picture of his mother."

"While I wouldn't put it in religious terms, that's pretty much what's happened. You and that bear are one and the same for Kara. It's her tenuous link to reality. She wants to hug you like that, but she can't because of that whole Calvinist trap she's fallen into. I wish professional ethics allowed Doctor Mercer to tell Kara that it's all bullshit, but they don't. It's also dangerous to mess with people's core beliefs, though obviously sometimes it's necessary. But, when they are spiritual, ethical guidelines severely limit what can be done."

"I messed with Kara's core beliefs fairly often. That's how things got started between us. And probably what made a mess of things in the end."

"Maybe. You sowed some seeds of doubt. For you and me, that's what we want in life — to question, investigate, challenge. We're both romantics and rationalists, which seems odd, but it's true. We focus on logic and science, but we know that emotion is just as important, and sometimes more important, than being logical or rational. Think of Kirk, Spock and McCoy — each with a different balance between logic, science, and emotion."

"But for Kara, that's dangerous," I said.

"Yes. Because of her upbringing. I know what you were trying to do, and I think it was a reasonable course of action for you, but in the end, she couldn't cope with the freedom of thought and action that you and I love."

"And all because I wanted to prove a point," I sighed.

"You've beaten yourself up enough about this one. Now all you can do is help Kara by being her friend. Everything else is up to her."

"Gee, thanks for the pep talk, Sweetheart," I said grumpily.

"Just the truth, Steve. Things you already know. But sometimes they have to be said. Are you ready to talk to Joyce?"

"Does it matter?" I asked with a wry smile.

"No!" Bethany said firmly, taking my hand.

We walked into the den and Bethany shut the door. Joyce was sitting on a maroon leather couch, her eyes puffy and red, and she was dabbing them with a tissue. Bethany directed me to the matching winged-back chair and I sat down. Bethany sat on the couch next to Joyce, but between Joyce and me, sort of like a buffer or a moderator.

"Joyce, did you have something to say?" Bethany prompted.

"I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. "I should have listened to you. I didn't realize how much damage a simple phone call could do. And I didn't realize how badly I'd hurt Kara."

I sat quietly, stoically, doing my best to keep my face emotionless.

"Steve?" Bethany prompted.

"Apology accepted. But I can't trust you, Joyce. Not the same way I did before."

"Steve!" Bethany said sharply. "That's not helping."

"Maybe not," I replied, "but it's true. Joyce should have listened to what I said. I told her what could happen, and she had to go and do it, anyway."

"And you've never done anything stupid that people told you not to do?" Joyce growled. "Get off your fucking high horse, you hypocrite!"

"Joyce! Steve! Stop it!" Bethany said sharply, raising her voice. "Your friend is hurting and you two are at each other like lions on a zebra!"

"Well, gee, Bethany, maybe she should have fucking listened to me," I said. "And yes, Joyce, you stubborn bitch, I have made mistakes. But Jesus Christ, this was a simple thing with clear instructions. God damn you!"

"Fuck you!" Joyce growled angrily, getting up and storming from the room.

"Beautiful," Bethany sighed. "Just beautiful. You just had to do that, didn't you?"

"Yes," I replied firmly, "I think I did."

"You know, I spent twenty minutes getting her to a point where she'd apologize and in twenty seconds you threw that all away. After I told you not to do it. Think that one through for a minute."

"Shit. I just did it to you. I'm sorry, Sweetheart."

"You have got to stop reacting from your gut like that. It's going to get you in real trouble some day. If you react like that to a boss, or your spouse, you could end up fired or divorced."

I sighed, "Anala told me the same thing — that I react too often without thinking things through."

"With your computers, I bet that works really well, because your gut seems to be right on those kinds of things. People are way more complicated."

"True," I said. "Let me go find Joyce and talk to her."

"Are you going to stay calm and thoughtful?"

"Yes, Bethany," I sighed.

"And you're not going to lose control like that?"

"No, Bethany."

She nodded, and I walked out of the den. I assumed that Joyce had gone upstairs, so I walked upstairs and knocked on her door. She didn't answer, so after a minute, I knocked again.

"Joyce, it's Steve. I want to talk."

I heard movement inside the room and then the knob turned, the lock clicked, and the door swung open.

"What?" she said, tears streaming down her face.

"I behaved badly. I'm sorry. I hope you'll forgive me."

She sniffed, trying to suppress her sobs, "I do. But I really made a mess, didn't I? I hurt you and I hurt Kara. But worse, you said you don't trust me!"

"Can you understand why?"

"I guess," she said with a pained nod. "I'm so sorry, Steve. I was foolish. Can we fix this?"

"In time, maybe. Trust is the core issue. It's why Jennifer and I are where we are now — the betrayal, on both our parts. Rebuilding trust has taken a couple of years and we still aren't there. Kara once told me that the only way to rebuild it is by actions. And even then, there will always be doubt. What happens if someone betrays your grandfather's trust?"

"You don't have your 9mm with you, do you?" she said with a wry smile.

"No. And how the hell do you know about that?"

"I know how things work, Steve. Remember what I once told you about grandfather's organization? What happened to the Beretta?"

"Bethany took it away from me last night. You can imagine why."

"Shit. Maybe you shouldn't be a cold-hearted bastard. Or perhaps not as much as I said."

"I wasn't planning on using it, but Bethany is smart enough to know just how badly this was going to go."

"I'm so sorry, Steve. I want to fix this, please."

"It will take time. Right now, I don't feel like I can trust you," I sighed.

The look of pain on her face shook me a bit, but the hurt was still there, overpowering. The feeling was still too raw to even think of opening up to her, of even wanting to open up to her. I was calm outside, but still boiling inside. Too much longer and I would lose it, breaking my promise to Bethany.

"I think I should head out now," I said. "I need some time to cool down. I promise I'll call you in a few days."

"Thanks," she said softly.

"Oh, and you were right about Connie," I said with a smirk. "She's using honey instead of vinegar now."

Joyce laughed, "Why am I not surprised? She came on to you here? Today?"

"No, she was sweet, apologized for the way she behaved when she was younger, and let me know that she was available in a very mature way. She's growing up. Give her the benefit of the doubt. I think she's turning into a fine young woman."

"What is it about you? Why does every girl seem to want you?"

"Why do YOU want me, Joyce?" I asked, my tone and body language showing that I was asking rhetorically.

"Good point."

I offered her a hug, which she accepted. It was quick and friendly, but nothing more. I went downstairs to find Bethany, and we headed out to my car. We got in and I started the car and put it in gear and pulled out onto the road to head back to Milford.

"She's still alive, I hope."

"Yes, Sweetheart, she's still alive. And you can return my piece whenever it's convenient."

"And?"

"Trust takes time to rebuild. How long did it take you to trust me after the Becky incident?"

"Truthfully? I haven't fully gotten there. And neither have Jennifer nor your sister. There's always that little voice calling it into question."

I sighed, "Yeah, my experience with Jennifer has made that clear. How can I know that she won't pull the same kind of stunt again?"

"It'll always be there, Steve, until the day you die. The question is, how strong is your fear that she'll betray you versus her showing by her actions that she's changed. That's how all of us look at you."

"And?" I asked.

"Setting aside your issues with commitment, you've shown all of us that we can trust you, but like I said, the doubt will always be there because of the betrayal."

"Which is why the Mafia kills anyone who betrays their trust even once — you can never, ever trust that person again."

"Exactly," Bethany agreed. "Or, in other terms, why I'd lose my license in the future if I betrayed the trust of a client in violation of the ethics rules."

We rode most of the rest of the way to Milford in silence. I was thinking through everything that had happened in the last two days and how I'd responded. Anala was going to have a field day with my intemperate behavior, but I'd tell her about it, nonetheless. She, along with Jennifer, Bethany, and Sofia, had become a trusted confidante, though she was the only one who didn't know the details of the situation with Kara. I didn't feel it necessary to discuss that with her, and it really had no bearing on what was going on between Anala and me.

"Skyline, Wendy's, Frisch's, or the deli?" I asked,

"What about Hardee's?" Bethany suggested.

"Hardee's?"

"They took over the old Burger Chef. It's WAY better."

"Sure, we can try that," I said.

We headed to Milford down Route 50, and I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. The first thing I noticed was that they had remodeled, and the building looked much nicer. As Bethany had said, the food was indeed far better; though I still thought Wendy's had the best hamburgers of any of the chains. We finished our lunch and then headed to my parents' house.

We walked in and went straight to see my dad, who was, fortunately, alone in his office. We said 'hello' and gave him a quick rundown of the situation with Kara, leaving out the details as to what had really caused the relapse. He asked if there was anything he could do to help and I told him not at this point.

We talked briefly about the house and I confirmed that I'd have five renters come August, six if you counted Stephie. While we were talking, Stephanie came home from her volunteer work at Stepping Stones. When Bethany and I finished talking to my dad, we went to my old room to talk with Stephanie.

"Sorry I missed swimming and breakfast today, Squirt," I said.

"I totally understand, Big Brother. Kara needed you. What's the plan for the day?"

"Just to relax. Bethany and I went to see Joyce, and I blew up at her. She's involved in this whole mess."

"Someday you're going to tell me, I'm sure. But whatever happened, it had to be bad for you to fight with Joyce."

I nodded, "I'll come by tomorrow morning to swim and have breakfast, and then I'll stop to check on Kara before heading to the airport to get Tatyana."