Chapter 23: A Meal to Remember

April 1983, Chicago, Illinois

On Wednesday morning, we left the apartment much earlier than usual so that we could drive out to Oak Park and be at the architect's office by 8:00am. We waited by the door for about ten minutes before someone showed up and opened the building, inviting us in. I told them who I was and why I was there and we were asked to take a seat. About five minutes later, a guy in his late twenties came to the lobby carrying five rolled-up sets of blueprints.

"Each of these has the necessary stamps for the State of Illinois and the City of Chicago. Your contractor will need to contact us before they start, because we have to supervise the overall construction. It's really simple, though, because it's just a basement remodel. Here's a bunch of business cards to hand out as well, though all the information is on the prints."

I thanked him and Stephie and I went back out to the car and put the blueprints in the trunk of my Trans Am, then headed to IIT so I could have my usual coffee date with Jackie. She was waiting for me in the lounge in the Stuart Building.

"I talked to my parents and I can move in!" she exclaimed before we even said hello.

"Cool!" I said. "And Hi!"

She laughed, "Hi, yourself! I was just so excited that I had to tell you. You weren't there over the weekend."

"No, I was with my sister. She was missing me, so I went back to Ohio to spend some time with her. I got to see my friends Pete and Melanie as well, so it was good."

"Cindi's parents were cool with it, too, especially given it'll only cost us each about half of what the dorms would. And your 'food plan' is WAY better than the crap they serve in the cafeteria!"

"Well, that pretty much ensures I'll be able to make my mortgage payments to my dad without any trouble at all. Between Elyse, Stephie, you, and Cindi, we're set. If Katy and Julia move in, then I'll actually clear a nice rental profit, though I have to share half of that with my dad."

"You haven't talked to them yet?"

"Julia's parents wanted to talk to my dad. I guess they're a bit concerned that it's stable and that she'll have a place for sure. I haven't seen Katy yet, so I won't know about her until this weekend."

"Were you really serious about everyone being naked in the sauna?" Jackie asked.

"Yes, of course. But I won't force anyone to come in, nor would I force them to be naked. So if you or Katy want to wear a suit, or not join us, that's up to you."

"I've never been naked in front of a group of people except in the girls' locker room in High School. And you and Bill are the only guys to have seen me naked. I'm not sure I can handle Kurt, Eduardo, Dave, Chris, and Jamie all seeing me."

"Then wear a bathing suit. Nobody will criticize you. I bet you anything you care to bet that you won't be the only one doing that."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with," I said. "That's my rule about everything. And don't let someone pressure you into something you don't want to do."

"Can I ask a question?" Jackie said with an impish smile.

"Sure," I chuckled, fairly certain of what she was going to ask.

"Does Stephie have a monopoly on you, or can I occasionally cut in?"

"No, she doesn't have a monopoly. And I'm not trying to build a harem!"

"Why not?" Jackie asked. "All the unattached girls seem to be willing to fool around with you!"

"Not you too!" I groaned.

"Me too?" she asked, sounding confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Just that several girls have suggested that I simply live in a group relationship lifestyle for the rest of college."

"I'm in!" she exclaimed happily. "Though I know if I start dating Jamie seriously, you'll make me off limits the way you have Julia and Kathy."

"That rule is pretty much inviolable. It would go double for Jamie, because he's becoming a friend."

"Wait!" Jackie protested. "Didn't you promise Cindi that you'd give her the greatest fucking of her life right before her wedding?"

"I did," I replied. "But I don't really expect her to collect. We'll probably do it at some point, but long before then."

"You're wrong. She fully intends to collect on that promise. She and her girlfriends took an oath. She's not going to let you off the hook on that, Steve."

"Shit," I sighed. "I thought it was all teasing. I mean the right before the wedding part. I knew she's interested in a casual screw, but shit, not in that situation."

"So, what are you going to do? Violate your rule or violate your word?"

I sighed, "How the hell do I get myself into these situations?"

"Because you make assumptions about people's motives. You assume everyone follows the same sort of ethical code you do, or they would if they just saw clearly. They don't. I think your path is a good one, and I mostly agree with it. Cindi and her friends don't. That last fling is immoral and unethical in my book, but not to them — it's their rite of passage into marriage."

"Interesting. I would never have looked at it that way. She doesn't think it's wrong in any way. But what about her future husband?"

"Part of the deal is that they can't ask permission nor ever tell their intendeds about it. They have to tell all the girls what happened, in detail, but the guys can never know."

"Shit. I could see an exception if the guy was willing. That was always my promise to Melanie and what would need to be the case for Kathy. That permission isn't likely to be forthcoming, but if it was, and was sincere, then I wouldn't feel I was violating my rule."

"So, what are you going to do?" Jackie asked.

"I have no idea," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Maybe I'll get married first and I'll have an out!"

"Stephie would be a very happy woman if that were the case!"

"I'm not making any comments on whom at this point. It's a long ways away so I have time to figure it out."

She cocked her head and looked impishly at me. "Of course, there is one way to give her what she wants and not violate ANY of your rules!"

"Huh?" was my brilliant answer.

"YOU marry HER!" she laughed.

"That would indeed solve THAT problem!" I chuckled. "But it would create another. She'd have to cheat on ME to keep her oath, but because I already know about the plan, that would violate the rules the girls had set. But it would indeed solve my problem and create one for her. But she and I aren't compatible that way. We can be great friends, we'll potentially have a great fuck at some point, but marriage is definitely not in the cards for us."

We finished our coffee, and I headed off to class. I had managed to put myself in a position where I had to violate one of my two main rules for my own conduct, and I didn't like it. Which was worse to violate — my word or my ethics? A lot depended on the circumstances, but I could see a nightmare scenario where Cindi was marrying a guy who I considered a friend. I'd certainly be uncomfortable with the situation no matter what, but if she was marrying a friend, I'd have to violate my word to her. I just couldn't do something like that to a friend. Hell, I probably couldn't do something like that to a stranger.

Class went by quickly as I anticipated my dinner with Anala. I took Stephie home and took a quick shower, then dressed in white slacks and a royal blue polo. Once I was ready, I picked up the phone to call Nancy Blanchard and check on Kara. After we greeted each other, I asked if Kara had gone to the counseling session.

"Yes. She was reluctant and told me this morning that she didn't want to go, but I reminded her that she had promised you, so she went. She spent an hour with Doctor Mercer but came out just like she went in — withdrawn and clutching her bear."

"It's not magic, Nancy. It could take quite a bit of time. Just be patient and encourage Kara to keep going."

"I will. I found out that her insurance from work will cover a good part of the counseling."

"That's good!" I declared happily. "Speaking of work, how the heck is she functioning there?"

"I asked her boss, and he said nothing had really changed. He said she's been slightly subdued from her usual cheery self, but he figured she was just dealing with all the emotional trauma. He said she eats lunch and talks with the engineers like she always has. It's strange, because it sounds like when she's at work it's as if nothing had happened!"

"That does seem strange," I said. "You should let Doctor Mercer know that. It almost seems like Kara had divided her world into things from before Alan died and things after he died. How is she in church?"

"Quiet. But she was always kind of quiet at Grace Church, too, so it's not too noticeable. The pastor did ask me about the bear and I told him it was a comfort item after a bad breakup. I hope that's OK."

"I suspect he thinks it's weird, but don't let him convince her to give it up. That's up to Doctor Mercer. Does she take it to work?"

"Yes, but she leaves it in her car."

We finished talking, and she said she'd call me if anything changed. I wanted to talk to Kara, but she was napping. After Nancy and I hung up, I checked the clock and dialed Bethany's number, hoping that she'd be there. She was, and I explained what I'd heard from Mrs. Blanchard and Bethany said it sounded like 'Splitting'.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A defense mechanism. We all use it when we categorize people as good or bad, but for Kara, there is only all good or all bad. And it seems that anything to do with her life before her dad died is all bad, and the only good is her work, and possibly her new church. I'm not qualified to say for sure, but she has some pretty bad symptoms associated with some kind of personality disorder. It's a good thing that she's seeing Doctor Mercer."

"How bad is this, Bethany?" I asked.

"I can't tell you. I'm only a second-year student, even though I'm doing honors work and independent study. You'll have to ask Doctor Mercer, but she can only talk to you with Kara's express permission. And, because Kara seems to be functioning — eating, sleeping, working — she's the only one who can sign a release. You might see if she will."

"Thanks, Sweetheart. I appreciate it."

"Call me soon, Steve," Bethany said.

I promised I would, and we hung up. I kissed Stephie and told her I'd be home by 10:00pm, then headed for my car to drive to Bridgeport. I parked in front of Anala's apartment and walked up the outside steps to the door and knocked.

Anala opened the door wearing a two-tone blue sari with gold trim. She helped me with my coat and hat and I took off my shoes. I smelled spices that I didn't recognize and saw several pots on the stove in the kitchen. The incense and tea were exactly as they usually were, though the smell of cooking overpowered the cedar incense.

"Steve, there are appropriate clothes for you on my bed. I think the sizes are correct. Please change," she requested.

I went into her room and found cream-colored silk pants, a red and gold silk over-garment that had long sleeves and looked to be knee length, and a pair of soft red shoes. I quickly changed, leaving my briefs on but removing everything else before donning the Indian garb. It fit perfectly. I went back out to join Anala.

"Perfect. Now, if we could just do something about the pasty white skin!" she giggled.

"Good luck. I burn if I so much as step outside in bright sun!"

"Sit please," she said, indicating the cushions by the table.

I sat down and she came to me carrying a large bowl, a pitcher, and a towel. She removed my shoes and carefully washed my feet. I remembered from the Sutra that this was something the wife was expected to do. She was doing this voluntarily, but it still slightly offended my egalitarian sensibilities. It was something we'd have to discuss. When she'd dried my feet, she put the soft shoes back on, then went to the kitchen.

She brought the food to the table, serving me first, describing each dish.

"This is «Biranj», steamed rice with saffron. This is «Vatana Bataka nu Shaak», potatoes and peas with curry. This is «Ringan no Olo», eggplant with curry. And this is «Bhakri», a wheat bread with «thecha», a spicy spread for it."

It all smelled wonderful, and seemed like it would be very spicy. I was glad I liked spicy food, but everything she'd set before me was completely new to me. After serving me, she served herself, then sat down across from me.

"Given you can't read Sanskrit, I shall have to say the prayer. It's traditional for the man to say it, but I think we'll make this exception."

She read something from a small sheet of paper. The only thing I caught was 'Brahman', which she said several times. She sat the paper down when she finished.

"The prayer makes an offering to Brahman, but what we offer is Brahman, for Brahman is the offering, the fire that cooks the food and burns the incense, and the one who abides by Brahman, he reaches Brahman."

"The goal of realizing that your Atman is the eternal god," I said.

"Yes!" she smiled.

She bade me eat, and I carefully tasted each food and found all of them delicious. The spread for the bread contained green chili peppers and peanuts and was very spicy. The curry she used with the eggplant was fairly mild, but the curry she'd used for the potatoes and peas was quite strong. I finished what she had served, and she served me seconds, waiting until I finished before she took her seconds and ate. I quietly munched bread as she finished eating.

"Anala, I'm not sure I like this whole 'man goes first' bit. I mean it's fun, but I think woman are equal partners."

"I think you've missed something in the Sutra. What did the woman have responsibility for?"

"Keeping the house, planting a garden, making sure the household finances were in order."

"Don't those seem to be her power in the relationship? A division of labor, if you will? I believe such a division fits with the Jewish books of your Bible where a woman buys land, manages the household, and ensures the finances are sound. Yes, I served you, but I wanted to do that. Remember, you asked if I was doing it and I said 'yes'. At the moment, the more important parts aren't available to me, because I'm not in a position to take over your household."